On The Way -- Sort Of

[XMan]

Not sure how much I'll actually put in this trip report.  But thought I would attempt it.
I am on the way. 
Sort of.

After relentless research I finally settled on a plan.  Nearly 24 hours to get there, but manageable. 
Well, if the plan actually worked, that is. 
Alas, I'm now looking at a minimum of 32 hours to get to my destination.  I am less than excited, but not surprised. 
Well, as long as the planes actually reach their destination safely, that is key. 
Meanwhile, I am having the worst breakfast food ever in a Rock Bottom (aptly named) cafe. 
I should have packed granola. 
I knew I overlooked something on that 3-page-long to do list.

Onward.  (Eventually.)

[Shadow]

Good luck, and what is 6 hours in a lifetime ?
As for breakfast, just eat the Russian type of breakfast, which is actually possible to interchange with lunch or dinner.

[GregfromGa]

Not sure how much I'll actually put in this trip report.  But thought I would attempt it.
I am on the way. 
Sort of.

After relentless research I finally settled on a plan.  Nearly 24 hours to get there, but manageable. 
Well, if the plan actually worked, that is. 
Alas, I'm now looking at a minimum of 32 hours to get to my destination.  I am less than excited, but not surprised. 
Well, as long as the planes actually reach their destination safely, that is key. 
Meanwhile, I am having the worst breakfast food ever in a Rock Bottom (aptly named) cafe. 
I should have packed granola. 
I knew I overlooked something on that 3-page-long to do list.

Onward.  (Eventually.)

What city in Europe are you from? Good luck with the rest of your trip.

[Gylden]

Good Luck XMan, hope you brought your long underwear, they say the cold snap is going to be with us a little longer!!
 

[JR]

Warm milk and cookies are good for you...enjoy your trip and keep us posted!!!

[Faux Pas]

Xman

What is your plan upon arrival? VO/VM? What's your destination and for how long? If you posted it elsewhere sorry I missed it.

Good luck in any event

[XMan]

I think today is the 16th.  Funny how quickly things begin to blur. 

OK.  Boring stuff first. 

4 flights and 33 hours after heading out on Jan 12, I arrived in Chernovtsy. 
Except for some security hassles (I swear I do not look like a terrorist -- honest), and 15 hours in airports, getting all the way to Chernovtsy was not a problem.  The Airbus has more legroom than the 767, which surprised me.  Planes were packed, and that was unexpected.  Airline food was edible.  Both women I spoke to the Kiev International terminal and the domestic one were helpful, especially after I attempted to communicate a few things in Russian and apologized for my poor language ability. 

I cannot recommend winter travel here, however.  Either go in the fall or start writing in winter and come in spring.  Unless you love cold and snow.  Considering where I've been living, it's actually warmer here right now (about -8 C).  Still, one is limited on entertainment options. 

I CANNOT sleep on a plane.  And believe me, I tried.  I was at least partially coherent when I finally got to the very nice apartment.  I was forcing myself to check and make sure I still had everything (passport, wallet, luggage, etc.).  Funny how the mind really starts to shut down.  Anyway, 33 hours without sleep resulted in 12 fitful hours of sleep afterward (and probably contributed to getting sick right now, unfortunately, but hopefully mildly). 

As a sidebar, I met an American on my way here.  This guy was a loud mouthed, arrogant buffoon, and was a perfect caricature of the swaggering, American, know-it-all, trash talking, moron on his way to meet some poor woman who will then think that he represents all American males.  Unbelievable.  I wish these guys would stay home.

Jan 14th:
This is a WOVO, though I would have preferred otherwise. 
And this is a very small, highly recommended agency that I used once before.  It is expensive.  It is honest.  It is not Walmart.  It is full service.  It is tactful but direct, and by god is that ever a relief (compared to other experiences I have had).  I am not going to post it here.  I don't want to recommend anything, frankly.  Too risky. 

I felt groggy and largely incompetent on the first day.  How's that for honesty?   
We met early afternoon.  Although we had written and had some other communication, I felt awkward, like a teenager at a junior high dance.  What the hell happens to a guy who deals with complex professional situations, making critical decisions everyday, and then he chokes in a situation like this?  Funny.  And this is my 7th trip, so it's not like I haven't been down this bumpy road before.

Recovered over time, thinks went OK.  It was difficult to tell at first what her interest level was.  I've been searching for quite some time, she has been for 4 years now.  Brought some old family photos, info on where I currently live, talked about a variety of things.  The interpreter, who runs this small agency, is quite good and very helpful at filling in dead spots, which I was thankful for.  I really was not hitting on all cylinders, and still (as of today) am struggling to overcome the jet-lag. 

I brought a few things with me for her and for her daughter.  It seemed to go over very well.  I didn't want to overdo it, and did not want to appear cheap either.  I think I struck the proper balance. 

Had a nice dinner at Kvinto (spelling it how it sounds here).  Pleasant, Polish-style restaurant, fairly new, decorated sort of 1930's style.  Good food, even better atmosphere.  For anyone crazy enough to travel from Kiev to here, nice place to hang out. 

By the way, part of the service is that I get breakfast cooked here in my kitchen by the agency owner's mother-in-law.  Very nice woman, very good cook.  It's just a nice, family run operation where they know all the women personally.  Not that there is any guarantee -- they still have had their mix of nutjobs, both men and women, and have told me some stories that ought to be in a book.  Seriously.  Some scary, some funny, some just plain old crazy as hell. 

OK, so the evening wrapped up and I had mixed feelings.  I am so wary, after numerous trips and questionable results, that at times I see things through whatever the opposite of rose colored glasses would be. 

This is where an interpreter who has a clue is helpful. 
She asked me why I didn't like this woman I had been so enamored with during previous communication. 
Of course, it wasn't that at all, but that was certainly how it appeared to anyone other than me. 
So, I explained what I was thinking.  I was told rather politely that I was an idiot and this woman was sincerely interested.  Well, that's handy to know.  Thanks.   

So, I worked on an attitude adjustment for the next day, since she still wanted to see me after the lukewarm reception she received.  (Posting more shortly.)

[Gylden]

XMan,
WOW! What a long and taxing trip (the journey part). I am sure you will feel better after a day or two, not sleeping for 33 hours isn't easy to recover from in so many time zones from from home. Hope you feel more yourself soon and things develop for the best. Is she not good with English or are you using an interpreter for more complex communication needs?

Good luck!

[XMan]

*Glyden -- somewhat limited English on her part, limited Russian on mine.  The interpreter is helping in every imaginable way.*

Jan 15th:

I should mention a bit about her, though I think I did in another post somewhere.
Attractive, early 30's, young daughter.  Bachelor's degree, certified to teach Chemistry and Biology, then some sort of medical degree that allows her to do lab work (microscope work largely).  She makes more money in her second job doing beauty-related stuff for clients.  She seems to enjoy that more than the medical work.  We have a shared interest in botany and biology, although she is better with Latin names than I am.  I find it funny that likes high fashion, because it somehow seems out of character, but perhaps not for here.  How she finds time to cook I have no idea, but she does.  Has a car, owns an apartment and lives alone with her daughter.  There are some contradictory traits that are difficult to define here, but she is an interesting person.  She hates cold weather and I think would live in the Bahamas if she could.  I don't like it, but she really finds it unpleasant.  She has a good sense of humor, which I more or less discovered on this day.  Even with her many positive traits, there are some negative ones, which is good, since I was beginning to feel she was not in my league.

OK, so after she went home on the 14th she spent 4+ hours (yes, that is the correct number) making this special cake that is difficult to describe since I have never seen anything like it.  It was almost like layers of crispy waffles with flavored creams, and then the top had something similar to frosting with intricately arranged slices of different types of fruits and some sort of glaze.  Apparently this is her specialty, and she made it specifically for me.  So yes, I can only assume one doesn't go to that much effort if one is not interested.  

We got together in early afternoon and went to what I can only call a large mall with an ice skating rink, beautifully decorated with great tile floors, marble (perhaps simulated marble) columns, etc.  Very nice.  Had late lunch/early dinner at a Georgian cafe.  $30 for 3 people, quite the deal.  Nice conversation.  I performed much better this time around.  had her laughing as well.  Mixed in some Russian, and she some English, the interpreter handled the rest.  

We went to a large market and then headed to her home.  I needed a lot of miscellaneous things, and I wanted to pick up one of my favorite movies in Russian so we could watch it together.  To my surprise, it existed.  We'll watch it at some point.  

I picked up some wine (which I know next to nothing about).  Fortunately the interpreter knows wine, and picked the best red Georgian wine I could ever imagine, and this is coming from a guy who doesn't really even like wine.  We went to her apartment, had the magnificent cake, looked at photos, had wine, and again I got to use my sense of humor, which is quite handy.  

She has her apartment at about 75 degrees, maybe more.  This is key to this next part.  So, she changed out of her layers into ultra casual -- sweat pants and a tank top.  I'm not clear as to the purpose.  Maybe in this case a cigar is just a cigar.  Maybe she wanted to show me another side of her.  Maybe she wanted to make me drool, which I tried not to do.  Don't get me wrong, we exchanged a lot of photos, saw each other via video, etc.  But I did not know she looked like this.  I don't have a delicate way to put it.  Holy Frijoles.  So, I did my best not to stare, had a very nice evening, a pleasant goodbye.  Maybe it's best I came in winter so as to have a better chance to think more clearly when she is wearing multiple layers.

More later, must get ready.  

[XMan]

OK, while waiting for her, a bit more.   

Sorry for the typo, Gylden.

Specific plans (other than time we are to meet) are sort of up in the air, but that's OK I guess.  Speaking of time, this is the first UW or RW I have ever met who shows up on time.  It's astounding.  She's done it twice in a row!  She may never be on time again, but it was impressive none-the-less. 

I wish there were something active to do, but with her extreme dislike of cold weather, and now my sore throat/cold annoyance, it limits things.  Later tonight hopefully a movie.  I have a German acquaintance who is here with his Ukrainian wife, so hoping we can meet them.  He loves to talk, so I imagine I will hear more about the job he hated in Dubai (he stayed 5 months of what was a much longer contract but got out of it).  I think it could be fun.  Since I am rarely "coupled," it will be a nice change. 

On a day or evening when she is busy I hope to hang out with Oleg (friend)  and drink Vodka.  (This is the only place and time I do that.)  Always fun talking about history (and other topics as well) with Oleg.  He was in the Soviet military shortly before the break up. 

By the way, I am told the presidential election is tomorrow.  Sunday?  Odd. 

Funny, but on the night of the 13th fireworks at about 3:45 a.m. disturbed my fitful sleep. 
Then the night of the 14th about a dozen drunken carolers were singing at 1:30 in the morning.  Try to imagine a dozen falling down drunk Ukrainian men, who couldn't carry it in a bucket even when sober, singing Christmas carols.  Always unique experiences to be had here. 

Last night was some serious discussion mixed in with light-hearted talk. 
I really wanted to hear, in person, what her "preferred" future would be like. 
In other words, best case scenario imaginings. 
(Does anyone hear an incoming bomb falling?)   
Have another child. 
Now, that might freak out a number of men.  While surprised, especially since our original discussions were that she was happy with one child, I found myself perfectly willing to consider it.  Actually, I had considered it before writing her specifically, but figured I would be much more likely to meet a woman with a child already and have my shot at surrogate fatherhood instead.  I don't want to romanticize something that is more work than I can possibly imagine, but I find myself thinking about it more this morning, and of course find myself romanticizing it after all. 
Clearly I am not thinking clearly.   

The reality is that getting carried away with those kinds of thoughts is silly.  After another week we may discover we don't even have enough interest in each other to pursue things further.  Who knows.  But once in a while, it's nice to be optimistic. 

I have sometimes been a glass is half-full kind of guy.
I have sometimes been a glass is half-empty kind of guy. 
More often I am a why-is-the-glass-twice-as-large-as-it-needs to be kind of guy. 

On that note, until next time....

[Gylden]

XMan,
Nice report! Good to hear it is not a wash out so far.
You know about having children, I think it is actually common when you meet someone interesting and something seems to develop. My wife and I had a similar experience. Neither one of us had really been thinking of more children (I was 50 she was 40) at the time we met. After we got to know each other the interest about having a child developed in both of us, not sure why exactly but I think it is something natural. We ended up leaning to the pragmatic side and decided not to, but the desire was real and from both sides and the decision to not have a child didn't affect our relationship. I just thought it was interesting that you mentioned this.
Well I wish you continued success in your discoveries
Hope you shake that cold soon!
 

[Shadow]

Xman, it seems you have caught an interesting woman. She has education, and is living in relatively good conditions. This means that if she chooses to leave her country, its not going to be because she has nothing there.

Did she at any point suggest you to meet some friends or family ?

[GregfromGa]

Good trip report so far. I really enjoy the trip reports. I remember my first trip to see my now wife. I already knew I would marry her but the meeting did help. I went in late November and it was already cold. When I returned in January for the entire month the weather was brutal. Good luck the rest of the way and keep us informed. These trip reports are as close as some of these guys who are writing to girls will ever get.

[XMan]

June 16:

(It is early on the 17th now.) 

Unfortunately not feeling well worsened during the day.  Overdid the meds and felt worse rather than better. 
I've had enough juice, black tea, green tea, hot cocoa, to last me for a while, but I'm sticking with the regimen.  Watched a favorite movie of mine (in Russian with English subtitles, and not bootlegged, so you didn't have the Russian audio with lower volume English audio in the background -- sure some of you guys have been there done that) with her.  Sat on the couch and relaxed holding hands. 

Went to the market and picked up a few things to make snacks with, but truthfully the meds unexpectedly did a number on my stomach and I felt so queasy I did not enjoy it.  I cannot eat mayonnaise even when feeling well (I hate it) and she does not eat mustard at all, so perhaps we are not perfect for each other.   

Late evening walked a short distance to a Japanese restaurant (definitely not my style).  She had dinner and I ate a little salad, barely.  I will say I decided to try ice cream, and it felt and tasted good.  Vanilla but with a topping of sesame seeds, poppy seeds, and honey.  Bizarre (to me at least), but quite tasty.  Just being in the cold for a short time made me feel worse.  After all the hot liquids the ice cream felt surprisingly good, though.

Now for the weirdness part of program. 
Allow me to divulge some conversation when she arrived yesterday. 
Nowhere near verbatim.  But you'll get the idea. 

She: Did you sleep well?
Me: Only about 5 hours.  I'm sure more sleep would have helped.
She: Were you thinking about me?
Me: (Does that sound like a land mine question?  It did to me.  I wanted to say, "yes, naked," but figured that was WAY too dangerous and the humor could easily be lost.  OK, so it was true, but still....  So I recover and say, "I've been thinking about you often for many weeks now."  Good answer, in my view, and also true.)
She: I did not fall asleep until 4:00 in the morning.
Me: You must be tired.  I know you had to get up early also. 
She: I just could not sleep.  I was thinking about the future. 
Me: I think about the future a lot.  Sometimes too much.  I should spend more time thinking about the present. 
She: I understand. 
Me: Is something concerning you?
She: What a big change leaving my country would be. 
Me: (At a loss for a response.  Trying to figure out what to say.  She has met a number of men, most of them only once, apparently.  But she hasn't thought about it seriously before?  I have no idea how to respond at this point.) 
Me: Yes, a big change it would be.  A difficult one for anybody.
She: There is something I would like to do tomorrow.
Me: Tomorrow?  OK.  As long as it doesn't involve a polar plunge (this required explanation) or something else really cold.
She: I want to take you to meet my parents tomorrow. 

You can now imagine the silence while my medicated form tried to process that. 
I mean, we've spent part of three days together, one of which I was jet-lagged into oblivion and another feeling quite ill.  My performance is well below par.  I'm more than a little surprised. 
And I am so not in top form at the moment, and look as haggard as I feel. 
How well can it go? 
I didn't know how to respond, and I could see my hesitation was not beneficial. 
I agreed. 

So, this afternoon she will be driving me to her parents home.  They left the city (sold their apartment) a year ago and bought a small home just outside the city where they could "return to the land" (apparently both grew up in the country). 

I'll be honest. 
I am concerned. 
Especially while not feeling well right now. 
And I thought this would be near the end of my visit, if at all, and only if things went exceptionally well, etc.
This has biblical disaster potential -- plagues of locusts, rivers turning to blood, dogs playing poker, etc. 

The agency owner is very surprised.  She has shown very little interest in other men she met.  There have been WMVM guys who showed up, got 90 minutes of her time, and that was enough, she walked.  And now out of the chute she wants me to meet her parents.  So I am in "what's wrong with this picture" mode.  I don't want to be the guy who can't accept something positive happening, but damn.  Did she just decide that the next guy who shows up is it, or is this legitimate.

If you step back for a moment and look at not just this situation, but the entire idea and process, it just seems crazy.  For those of you who have done it, a year before you started writing / communicating, could you ever have imagined trying something like it?  For myself, I have to say no way in hell would I ever have dreamed it. 

Her dad is 12 years older than I am.  Not sure how he'll view things. 
But it's not like she's a teenager going to prom.  We'll see. 
 
Da Zaftra.

[Gylden]

It's just terrible that you are feeling so "out of it", it's not so uncommon to get ill after such stressfull travel.
Of course it sounds strange what you are experiencing there at this moment, but it is impossible to write briefly on a forum all of the nuances and only you know you own history of communication with her from the start.
How are you feeling about her personally? Do you feel better after meeting her face to face? Do you feel any chemistry? (not from the meds )(must be difficult not feeling well).
I don't know what kind of meds you are taking, but my wife introduced me to something called "Flu Cold" something made in India but it is available all over Ukraine. Comes in a pack of 4 tablets. It was a miracle cure for me fwiw. (my wife said just go to the apoteka and say "flu cold" and they will know.

[XMan]

It's just terrible that you are feeling so "out of it", it's not so uncommon to get ill after such stressfull travel.
Of course it sounds strange what you are experiencing there at this moment, but it is impossible to write briefly on a forum all of the nuances and only you know you own history of communication with her from the start.
How are you feeling about her personally? Do you feel better after meeting her face to face? Do you feel any chemistry? (not from the meds )(must be difficult not feeling well).
I don't know what kind of meds you are taking, but my wife introduced me to something called "Flu Cold" something made in India but it is available all over Ukraine. Comes in a pack of 4 tablets. It was a miracle cure for me fwiw. (my wife said just go to the apoteka and say "flu cold" and they will know.

Thanks, I'll see if I can track it down. 

Previous communication was very good.  I just didn't expect things to move so quickly to "meet the parents." 
She is a bit more of a petite flower (a bit more dainty) than I expected, but that is not necessarily bad. 
I can guarantee she won't be sleeping outdoors in a tent.  But my roughing it days are probably near an end anyway. 
She is more attractive in person than in her photos, which I also did not expect. 

I'm trying not to over analyze things, but I don't want to be stupid either. 

I admit, it's hard to have clear vision when you would prefer to take a hot shower just to breathe the steam for a while. 

[XMan]

Jan 17:

The short version would be "confusion reigns." 

First, this sore throat is worse.  Hugely annoying, and now at the point of difficulty swallowing (just in the past hour or so).  So far, still my only symptom.  No fever, cough, congestion, etc.  But I may have to see if there is a private clinic I can go to if things are worse in the morning.  Oddly, I suppose because I work so hard at taking good care of my health I did not think I would get sick.  I took appropriate precautions (such as diligent hand washing), packed the usual remedies just in case, but so far no results.  Another reason to wait until warm weather to travel.  Reduces one's chance of getting ill and throwing a big wrench into one's plans.

Her parents are great people.  But I did not expect to visit them in a mansion.  And from where I stand, it's close to that.  That house would go between $650,000 and $750,000 in the USA easy, perhaps far more dependent upon where it was located.  Enormous ceilings (4 meters, my guess), tile everywhere, hardwood, 3 bathrooms, etc. Regardless, very nice people.  More food than one can possibly imagine.  And they seem to think I walk on water.  I can.  But only in winter, when it's very cold, and the ice is a meter thick. 

Her dad kept pouring vodka, and I kept barely sipping, because he was pouring wine as well, and I was drinking some of that.  I drink rarely, have never been inebriated, and choose to continue along that route.  But it was impossible to turn him down politely.  He just laughed when I waved him off.  I finally had to cover my glass with both hands (in good humor). 

Spent a lot of time with her and her daughter after dinner, mostly playing, but also drawing, labeling things in English, Ukrainian, and Russian.  Their English is far better than my Russian, and my Ukrainian is zero.  Ah, if only I had the memory of a 7 year old.  She sees the word once and remembers, I need 50 times.  Regardless, seeing her with her daughter made me want to melt right there. 

So, that part was good.  Better than good.  Great. 

But, even though we have had good conversation / communication, nice times together, I have to say I just don't think she is attracted to me very strongly.  I think she is very attracted to the idea of me, to the "me" on paper and in photographs.  To put it succinctly, I'm not feeling it.  I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid.  Her parents invited me back for this big holiday celebration (without asking her, I am fairly certain) and will be providing a mountain of food again for tomorrow night, but I am wondering what the point is.  I am not sure how to have a polite but direct conversation with her.  If she is thinking that somehow she will feel more attracted to me if she keeps trying, I just don't think so.  That is rather rare.  There has to be enough up front to build upon or grow later.  I just don't see it.  Maybe she's holding back for some other reason.  I'm no mind reader.  But she is not showing anything like what I am feeling. 

Throw in the fact that in no way can I match the lifestyle of her parents, and one can see my concerns.  I made my job, lifestyle, etc., very clear at the outset.  I'm not a millionaire, nor will I ever be. 

I cannot say with certainty that it's all over.  I don't know what tomorrow brings.  But hopes are dampened, and the forecast calls for a 60% chance of a slow, cold, drizzling rain.  Of course, that means that there is a 30% chance of sunshine and warmer temperatures, and a 10% chance that I have no idea what I'm talking about.  So I'll hope it falls into one of the latter two categories. 

[Faux Pas]

Xman

Sounds like you are trying to put everything in a nice tidy package concerning her feelings, your feelings with a big dose of worry. My advice is to stop that. Go with the flow and enjoy your trip. She just met you, why does she have to be goo goo eyes? My point here is you'll have way more time to reflect and do your math after you leave. Enjoy yourself as much as you can with your sickness. Stop trying to paint a picture in your mind of how it should be or supposed to be. At this point your early returns are there is no long term feelings or future in her. I say you have the cart way before the horse. Let things evolve and develop into whatever it is they will be.

Good Luck

[JR]

Dude, KISS HER!!!

I mean open it up and drive it! Stop wondering and start acting! You don't know how she feels? She does!!! Give her the opprotunity to explore it.

At this point you don't know what she's feeling. Well guess what, she isn't hiding you from the parents....hello???? Stop guessing and start doing. This is your only chance to live, I suggest you begin by embracing the lovely lady in front of you.

Now is not the time for caution or questioning yourself, act! Do something!!!

[XMan]

You have a point, JR. 

Frankly, would have tried kissing her but for this horrible sore throat, which is finally improving.  Well, I think I would have tried.  If one hugs someone and it's more like hugging stone rather than a person, one begins to think that those advances are unwanted. 

The whole mixed signal thing was really confusing.  Meet the parents but show no real emotion toward me.  Spend 5 hours making some incredibly complex, fancy cake especially for me, but don't hug me.  I mean seriously, wouldn't most guys be confused by that?

I mentioned in another thread I was in full towel capacity  I had it in hand was ready to throw it in.  I told her I didn't think we should continue communication, that I appreciated how hard she was trying, but if the feelings weren't there, then they weren't there, and she could not force them to be there for herself (regardless how I might feel).  This was part of a much larger, complex, too difficult to explain misunderstanding. 

So, Jan 18th:

We had a serious talk, with interpreter.  I'll try to nutshell this.
She's been divorced 4 years.  Her daughter still misses though rarely sees her father.  Then her daughter got attached to the next guy in the loser parade.  (Keep in mind I just met her daughter for the first time on the 17th, staying with her parents during holidays.)  On the night of the 17th, while at her parents, just the lady in question and I are standing in the hallway.  I thank her for such a nice evening and go to hug her.  Nothing back at all.  OK, I get the picture.  She has been trying hard, but is not feeling connection.  That's life.  I am frustrated, but what can I do.  We get in the car, I say virtually nothing.  I talk to the interpreter and tell her to call me the minute she gets home.  I want to call things off the morning of the 18th, even though I had accepted a return invitation from her parents for the night of the 18th. 

I don't think the lady in question (let's go with LIQ to shorten that) has ever been dumped before.  She has been treated badly and dumped them afterward, but I don't think dumped up front.  So, her pride is hurt, then she is angry, then sad, then wants to talk to me.  OK, that's fine.  I agree to talk incorporating the interpreter, although we can communicate some things in English and Russian.  (I am still only giving part of the picture, but this is a key fragment.) 

So she comes over and explains to me, uninterrupted, and then I talk some more. 

Her big concern is her daughter.  She says I do not understand, since I do not have a child.  (Ouch, but she has a point.)  Sasha still misses her father (divorced for 4 years), got attached to the last bum she was seeing, and misses him.  She doesn't want a repeat performance.  She had told Sasha I was a friend, and Sasha walked out into the hallway (behind me) just as I thanked and tried to hug the LIQ that night in the hallway.  OK, that explains that one bit.  (She said her daughter looked at her "as if she had just lied to her.")  Her daughter is also worried about losing her mom, i.e. jealous.  The rest?  She swears that although we have written for months now, she is shy and feels awkward, and this is not much different than a first date.  Well, maybe I can buy that as well. 

I spend some time talking about my feelings / concerns.  I think it comes through clearly.  Who knows. 

Her parents had invited us back (well, invited me without even asking her, I am fairly certain) for the night of the 18th.  Another night of holiday, 12 different dishes of food representing disciples, etc.  I don't understand entirely so cannot explain it. 

I say we can give it a go, see how things are that evening, decide if we want to continue any further.  I am concerned about how her daughter is going to feel, and many other things as well.  But at this point, I will try.  So I do. 

I want to pick up a potted plant and some Georgian wine as a gift to bring (her mom likes gardening as much as I do).  We agree to go get these items, get up from the table.  I turn to go into another room to get coat, etc.  (Sorry if there is too much information in this next bit.)  She calls out to me and I turn back.  She walks up to me and wraps her arms around me, buries her face in my chest, and doesn't let go for who knows how long.  Maybe for me time stood still and it was really only 4 seconds. 

Well, I have an iron will with damned near anything.  I was ready to jettison the whole potential relationship and spend the rest of time here doing vacation stuff and hanging out with my friends.  But when a 5'7" 110 pound blond latches onto me and makes me feel all melty I'm pretty much toast.  She is warm, soft, smells wonderful, and I am totally and completely irritated beyond your wildest imaginings that I have zero resistance.  So don't put me on the rack or use Chinese water torture if you need information from me.  Send a cute woman over to hug me and I'll give you my social security number. 

Evening went fine, I played with her daughter, she really seemed to like me (speaks some English already, and as a 7 year old learns 50 times faster than me), and did not hold the hugging her mother the night before against me.  We drew different things with markers, and she wanted me to write the English word, such as airplane, and she would write the Ukrainian and Russian words, since she speaks both and writes better than I do.  I have a serious weak spot for kids, especially the mythical little girl with long hair and ribbons, which is of course her.  We counted back and forth to each other, she in English, me in Russian, things like that.  We watched the Disney channel in English.  And of course we played with Barbies (ever done that JR?), stuffed animals, and combed each other's hair.  I felt so manly.   

So in less than 24 hours I go from "I give up, it's hopeless, pull the curtains" to whipped by a little blond and a much littler brunette. 

The LIQ was different all night, not distant or reserved at all.  Sat with her daughter and I and we played with the electronic translator, laughing when it got words wrong.  The LIQ knows a fair number of words, but similar to me, has difficulty stringing them together. 
 
So now what. 

We meet again later today.  See how things go.  Maybe I get tortured by another hug.  Could be worse.

[XMan]

Jan 19:

Bad weather.  Well, worse than normal for this time of year.  It pretty much hosed up plans.
Finally managed a late fall back plan, but had to walk the streets searching for a taxi. 

Managed to pick her up, first in a bear hug, which was funny and literal, but then into the taxi to a restaurant she wanted to try.  Nice place visually.  First bad food I have ever had in Ukraine.  She could hardly eat hers either.  At least it appears neither of us got food poisoning.  Managed a little dancing.  Unfortunately called it fairly early.  She now has a sore throat.  Gee, wonder where she caught that....   Oh well. 

She insists on cooking for me, so tonight (20th) it will be "French Style Meat." 
I'm game. 

Notable from an odd bit of conversation:
She has expressed several times now that she wants to have another child.  1 is not enough, 3 is too many, so apparently 2 is the only acceptable alternative, since we're dealing in whole numbers here. 
So we were talking more about her daughter.  I asked if the pregnancy was easy or difficult for her. 
It was fine the first 3 months, but then there was a problem and she had to spend 6 months in bed. 
And she wants to do this again? 
I know very little about this particular subject, but wouldn't that be high risk for a similar situation? 
Hmmm.

[ECOCKS]

They do that more over there than we do in the states. Their doctors seem to put the women on bedrest in a heartbeat.

Their law allows them 5 and a half months of covered maternity leave with job protection so it seems a lot of women are able to get a doctor's order for this.

[JR]

I will not even hold a womans hand in front of my daughter. She will turn three in a few days.
My mother was always introducing her latest man as "Daddy So-N-So." It was confusing. I won't do that to my daughter.
Cut this woman a lot of slack in this area, she's right, you've never had a kid.

BTW: I don't play with Barbies. I bouht my daughter a yellow dumptruck, she loves it

[XMan]

I miss my Tonka Toys, JR.  OF course in my day they were metal and made in USA. 
 

Jan 20:
Short report.

Very nice afternoon/evening at her place.  Looked at 3,426 photos.  OK, I don't really know how many, but I looked at more photos in one evening than I've taken in my lifetime.  It was fun.  She seemed completely relaxed for perhaps the first time. 
Good conversation.
Cooked a very good meal. 
Nice evening. 
Felt natural. 
One funny bit.  I commented on a photo I liked where she was wearing a rather short, black dress.  I said, "that's a lot of leg there."  Her response: "You mean you aren't looking at my eyes?"  Not exactly.  (We had been viewing the pro makeup work photos from weddings she had done earlier.)
While I brought no recipes, and may attempt to cook this evening.

[Phil dAmore]

X, If there is ever a 'best of' w/r/t trip reports, I want to nominate yours for inclusion

It's like I'm there...