not a scammer but be careful

[Patrocle70]

Hello,

I was in Kiev at the end of December. I got into contact to a girl through an agency.

I saw her twice and I was happy about our meetings. She is 26 years old, working as journalist/ PR....

We talked a lot and I thought that she was a nice lady... Usual dating stuff so far...

A few days after, a friend contacted me to tell me that she saw my photos and details about me on a blog.
She gave me the link and to my surprise yes in this blog were my picture (an old one given to the agency) and details
about our meetings (not really positive....).  I was really shocked for obvious reasons and couldn't see anybody for one day.
I totally felt betrayed , I am not young and it is not something easy to do me...

I contacted the agency and asked them two things. First to push this journalist to remove info about me on her blog (and it was her blog).
Second to banish her from their site for the obvious reason of breach of confidentiality.

They removed her indeed but today I realised that she was posted back to their site...

So if you are dating a young girl of 26 who is journalist in Kiev, check if she is not her. If not your info may be posted on her blog.
She told me that she wants to write a book and "how stupid foreigners come in Kiev..." could be hot topic for her.

About this agency, I am disappointed because so far it was one of the serious one on the market ( I don't want to start a debate about for or against agencies but just to give info that could be useful to other).

So this topic is not about scammers but something different and I don't know how to qualify it. Personally I fell really hurt by this girl .
I even thought "ok this is the last time I come in Kiev" while Kiev is really a city that I like.

Cheers....

[RussianWind]

Sorry to hear. Ask her if they had lectures of journalist ethics in their school. You can write a complain to a hoster to push her to remove personal information from her blog.

[BillyB]

About this agency, I am disappointed because so far it was one of the serious one on the market ( I don't want to start a debate about for or against agencies but just to give info that could be useful to other).

What's the agency's name? Even good agencies that are recommended can fall. If they allow a woman to be listed at their agency who's goal is to write a book about their stupid customers who come to the FSU and have no intention to marry, then I'd say the agency is making a big mistake and people should know who they are.

[groovlstk]

A few days after, a friend contacted me to tell me that she saw my photos and details about me on a blog.
She gave me the link and to my surprise yes in this blog were my picture (an old one given to the agency) and details
about our meetings (not really positive....).  I was really shocked for obvious reasons and couldn't see anybody for one day.
I totally felt betrayed , I am not young and it is not something easy to do me...

Patrocle70, I'm truly sorry this happened to you personally, but did this woman write anything about you that was untrue?

If not, I don't see her as guilty of anything more serious than cynicism - heck what she wrote was probably not much different than what you can read in the numerous trip reports on this site.

[Patrocle70]

I wrote today to the agency to ask them to remove her from the site permanently. I wait to see their answer.

This agency so far was good, I met real Ladies not pro-daters and they have been of good advice. But the economical crisis in Kiev that is real can apparently modify the code of conduct of a good agency....

Billy, if you need info about this agency in Kiev, you may contact me by PM.

Cheers

[BillyB]

I don't need to know the name since I don't use agencies but it should be revealed for the benefit of other men if the agency doesn't respond favorably to your request about removing your lady. It's not about what she wrote about you. She should be removed due to the fact that the woman has no intention to marry a foreigner, dating their customers and writing a book about it. If you send them a link to the blog and they understand her true intentions and keep her listed as a woman looking for a husband, then they are probably doing for selfish reasons only to make money off the men who write and date her.

[Patrocle70]

groovlstk,

There are two points.

First there is the use of information. I am not a journalist  and there are may be some reading this post but I feel that if you interview somebody, then it should be clear from beginning. Even Justice in a trial let you know that you are in a trial...

Second, she posted a picture of me in a restaurant that was not our meeting ... This picture was taken years ago. How to qualify the use of an image from the past to relate a present event ? Some TV got problems using this method for their news...

About accuracy of the meeting, she has the total right to have her own view. But she doesn't need to give my bio to her "fans".

I eat my bitterness myself  but I just would like that this specific experience does not happen to somebody else....

[JR]

Maybe Sandro should post her as one of his Double Dealers.

[Ludmila]

Sorry, Patrocle,

You were dealing with a swindler. Like a swindler in any walk of life.
I think , if the agency doesn't remove her for good , its name must be PRONOUNCED.

[Patrocle70]

Well, I got the answer from the agency.

The manager of the agency agreed me with me to banish this girl from their website. This is what was done by the agency first.

But finally the owner ruled out to restore her profile on the principle of freedom of information....

What bothers me is that if the girl registered as a journalist making an investigation clearly then ok if I was informed of this before...
Then it would have been my decision to meet or not. But she clearly registered as Lady with a wedding project...

I am really sad because the manager is really a nice person and very serious but the owner seems to be different . I dealt with daisybride in Kiev.

I still think that this agency is rather serious in the business (I was recommended on this site this agency). But my advice is that if you use their service, ask them thereafter a confidentiality agreement.

As for the girl, she told me that she is registered in another dating agency. I don't want to act like her and disclose her info but if you feel that you are dealing with her please contact me in PM.

I used an agency because I realised that with site like mamba.ru I was dealing more and more with "strange" Ladies

I guess that closes the topic. I feel bitter for sure because I felt betrayed (stupidly I started to like her) but this is nothing compared to those who cancelled their wedding because they discovered their bride was a scammer. 

[groovlstk]

groovlstk,

There are two points.

First there is the use of information. I am not a journalist  and there are may be some reading this post but I feel that if you interview somebody, then it should be clear from beginning. Even Justice in a trial let you know that you are in a trial...

Not relevant to this situation.

Second, she posted a picture of me in a restaurant that was not our meeting ... This picture was taken years ago. How to qualify the use of an image from the past to relate a present event ? Some TV got problems using this method for their news...

Again, completely irrelevant if this was the photo of you that was given to her prior to your "date." Would it have made you feel differently if she had used a photo of you together?

I eat my bitterness myself  but I just would like that this specific experience does not happen to somebody else....

I hope so too, but in your first post you mentioned that she is 26 and that you are "not young." How old is "not young?"

[GregfromGa]

Why wouldnt you post her full name here so that when some other unsuspecting guy hopefully googles her name then they will see that this is all a game for her. Did she take you to eat at Buddha Bar,Soho or DiVinci Fish Club? You really do need to get her name out there unless you want a 2nd date.

[Patrocle70]

Greg,

I just want to find a way not to answer like her. For me it is closed case, I "suffer" in silence.

I just want to bring attention to people, that this is not a scam and that people who fly to FSU countries with genuine feelings and all of you are like this in this site and meet a girl. When they fly back to their country, they have the feeling to have met a nice Lady but reality is that they ended on the "hall of fame" of a girl. This is first time that I come to such situation. Don't be over paranoid but be careful.

As for this specific girl, I believe that it is a lesson to her too. She didn't expect that it would be noticed... and it certainly came as a surprise for her too....
But I thanks my friend for bringing up that to me.

No I didn't bring her to "Buddha Bar"... This is my way. I have enough of girls who turns to be pro-dater (they ask 250 Grihvna for a taxi ride in center of Kiev).... I like "Double Coffee" near "Passage" for the first meetings.

In general, how do you behave with a Lady who asks you for the taxi ride ?

[Rina_G]

Just for interest - how did you relate to her if her meeting report was very positiv?

[Jumper]

patrocle-
 scam is over "intent"?


if her only *intent* is to use the date to write an article or blog..
then it is scam to have men fly to meet her.

a soft scam, but scam nonetheless.


If some western man, presented himself as a man intending serious relationship and marriage,
and a RW on those grounds got her tourist visa and paid her way t come visit him,
only to find out later  he only met her with "intent" to write a blog about "RW"
it would be scamming her.
 and RW should then be warned of this person, in particular, so they don't waste their time ,money, and effort.
The amount spent in the  scam is relative , as it matters to how much someone *has*.


if he met her with serious *intent* ,but it just did not go well,and he wrote about it in his blog ,
that is far different..



which is this?
as from what you wrote ,it is soft scam.

[Patrocle70]

Hello Rina !

I translated her blog only days later after having discover that she posted my private info in her blog...
But straight away, I asked her post on me to be removed and her to be banned from the website of the agency.
I deal with young people by my job and I try to talk to them about ethics. Am I too naive in our world ?

She has a right to write in a blog that she didn't like this meeting but no need to publish picture... all this to get fame.

There is matter to write about internet dating, international wedding but my thought is that her way to do it is not really good.

Have a good evening !

[Faux Pas]

Petrocle

The girl apparently from your description has her own reasons for meeting men which has nothing to do with your reasons for meeting her. This isn't illegal or even immoral. You met her for your reasons and she met you for hers.

Being ridiculed on her personal blog isn't pleasant I am sure but, is anything she stated not the truth? Your point out she is posting an old photo of you, you obviously posted it somewhere initially, so I fail to see why this is a problem. Is that photo evidence of some deception on your part?

You wrote to her, she wrote to you, you agreed to meet and you did. You said she was pleasant and didn't scam you. In your mind was she obligated to keep your meeting private? Honestly, IMO you can't "assume" that she was obligated to keep it private unless you had agreed to it prior.

It would seem your feelings are hurt  and a private matter for you has been made public via her blog. You don't wish for other men to experience this yet, you don't post her name. Why not? Your efforts will be in vain if you do not. She has posted yours openly and publicly. In doing so she has opened that can of worms. I don't understand what or whom you are protecting.

Is this a case of old guy chasing young girls, got called out on it and now he's embarrassed? So far, I don't see a scam, even a soft scam. She didn't ask for money and you had a pleasant meeting. What were the rest of her obligations?

[Rina_G]

thanks Patrocle
I agree with you about ethics and sorry  - you're no so naiv - just a little
look - she had no serious "intents" as AJ said.
She told you about PR, profession, blog and books
and you heart and didn't think that she use you?
I'm sure - she prepares "alive" stories for book with help agency
and it's interest - whet agency will reply you.
Have a good day - lol  

[facetrock]

Patrocle, What was the age difference between the two of you?

[Patrocle70]

Rina: thank you for your understanding.

"Faux pas": you are totally right somehow my pride was hurt. I learned to deal with that... But it is not because of her critics.

Now how would you react if you go to hospital and get recommended a doctor for a treatment.
You follow treatment and then weeks later , you discover that this doctor used you for research and published your case
with your info ( name, age , picture, weight, reactions...) in a conference ?

I still believe that privacy is a component of freedom. May be a difference of generation .

About age difference, 15 years. I know myself it is a lot.

[Rina_G]

please take it easy - all journalists want to find sensation - be proud - you're
I think heroes of my stories don't like this too.
so I don't tell him about or change the names

[Shadow]

Patrocle70,

Do you have any indications that the only idea of the meeting was investigation, and she is not looking to find a man ?
Does the blog contain all of her meetings, or was this just a single case ?
Did she, apart from you picture, post more information that will lead people to your identity ?

If she posted a story about your meeting, however the tone of it was, there is nothing illegal or immoral. Just check out the internet blogs and read around, you will see that the younger generation will document almost anything for history.

People like to read trip reports, like to read blogs in order to learn or amuse themselves, and in some cases in order to help with questions.

I hope that you have learned that if you wish anything to be kept private, you should mention it. Next time just bring up that you do not wish things like pictures or certain information shared without your permission as you had a bad experience.

[Faux Pas]

Rina: thank you for your understanding.

"Faux pas": you are totally right somehow my pride was hurt. I learned to deal with that... But it is not because of her critics.

Now how would you react if you go to hospital and get recommended a doctor for a treatment.
You follow treatment and then weeks later , you discover that this doctor used you for research and published your case
with your info ( name, age , picture, weight, reactions...) in a conference ?

I still believe that privacy is a component of freedom. May be a difference of generation .

About age difference, 15 years. I know myself it is a lot.

So, she is unethical. I think most on this forum would agree to that. This is a pursuit that is wrought with thieves, snakes and unethical behavior. It is not a generational "thing". Many young women in Kiev or anywhere would have never dreamed of doing such a thing.

I happen to be in the journalism business and for most professional journalists, ethics is what they hang their hat on and a very serious matter. Anybody can start an online blog and call themselves a journalist. This girl is playing games and apparently infatuated with herself and her blog. I commend you for putting this information out there on this forum but, I fail to see who besides yourself that you are helping. Your story will not help anyone in a preventative nature because it lacks needed information. Mainly, this girls name and her blog.

Petrocle, I hope this doesn't jade you from seeking out FSUW. Good luck

[Shadow]

Doctors have laws thet oblige them to restrict spreading out their knowledge of patients cases. So do lawyers.
Anyone who does not have such professional limits has freedom to post their experiences. I wonder if Patrocle70 would have reacted equally if the story about him had been a glowing tale of romance.

[Boethius]

Patrocle70,

If she posted a story about your meeting, however the tone of it was, there is nothing illegal or immoral. Just check out the internet blogs and read around, you will see that the younger generation will document almost anything for history.

I hope that you have learned that if you wish anything to be kept private, you should mention it. Next time just bring up that you do not wish things like pictures or certain information shared without your permission as you had a bad experience.

Very true.  The key is "younger generation".  There are a lot of 20 somethings in my office, and seeing also how my kids and their friends communicate online, this is just the way it it.  I don't think there was anything nefarious.  Journalists use this technique all the time in the West, so you can't call her a swindler either, though I understand how Patrocle feels, having spent time and money to visit.

Patrocle, I suggest you post on her blog, asking her to remove your photo and identifying information, failing which, you'll post her photo here (likely a much higher traffic site) as a warning to others who could visit her.