How long is reasonable?

[ECOCKS]

How long are you thinking it is reasonable to search the FSU without finding the right one?

Heartaches, scams, fails, betrayals and rejection, when will it have gone on too long?

Start to finish I was done in 8 months but different methods and different circumstances affect us all, what do you think affects this decision?

[GregfromGa]

I think it depends on the effort put forth. If someone is doing his homework, staying in his league and buying lots of airplane tickets then there is no reason for anyone to ever give up hope. But guys you've got to stay away from the girls wearing $200 jeans and pointy shoes.

[XMan]

Three years, and I've passed that mark this time. 
I've already decided this is my last go round. 
We'll see if I stick to that or not.

[sunandsail]

8 inches.

[Dave13]

Hey, whats wrong with the pointy shoes!    I, started the journey in June 2002, went to Russia in Oct. 2002, didn't match up, so back in the states for almost a year went back in Sept. 2003 got engaged.  Every guy is different, it all depends on you.

Dave

[ECOCKS]

Three years, and I've passed that mark this time. 
I've already decided this is my last go round. 
We'll see if I stick to that or not.

That's a shame X-Man. would love your thoughts on why it is taking so long if you get a chance to write them up.

[GQBlues]

How long is reasonable

Personally, I approached this as one and done. I would've been happy dating at home if the first trip didn't progress with anyone.

[XMan]

Wish I had something insightful to say.  
  
I thought I had "the one" lined up on the first trip, and returned to see her again.  

Tried a variety of methods afterward.  Nothing worked.  

This time I again used best efforts to narrow down (once again) to a very compatible person, but who knows.  
I did not want to WOVO, but that is the way it worked out.  I've taken my best shot.  It isn't over yet, but I don't know where things stand and whether it will make sense to return.  I hope to figure that out shortly.  Even so, there is certainly no guarantee of success.  That's the risk we all take.  

[oldernotwiser]

Reasonable,  I suppose if a man was reasonable, he would probably not even try to look for a significant other in the fsu.  Look at all the difficulties, hassles with immigration, travel expenses, learning about cultural differences.  I am sure others could add to the list.

On the other hand however, if you are truly looking for a soulmate, how can there be a time limit.

Going to vote for as long as it takes, no matter where they live.

[I/O]

8 inches.

This guy thinks too much like I do.

[Nat]

ECOCKS, if it's still possible to edit poll's options, please switch on the option "see results without voting" or something like that - because for example I can't vote because I'm not a man, but it's interesting for me to see how other people vote

[Shadow]

Kind of strange question.

If someone starts out 'I am done with local women, going to search FSU', why put a time frame ? And what if the itpasses the initially set time ? Going on to Asian, Latina, Filipina ?

[tfcrew]

Agree...
I don't think it is reasonable to limit searching to one country to begin with.

[ECOCKS]

ECOCKS, if it's still possible to edit poll's options, please switch on the option "see results without voting" or something like that - because for example I can't vote because I'm not a man, but it's interesting for me to see how other people vote

Nat and crew, I zeroed the poll and set it for a Men's section and a Women's. I was thinking the women would just throw their answers in and wasn't worried about it but this will provide better information.

[BC]

How long is it reasonable to search before giving up hope for an FSUW bride or non-FSUM Husband?

The 5 minutes it takes to browse through one of the agency sites.

[Serious]

How long might it take hmmm... Let me see... If your approach is: line up 20 girls to check while you are visiting one city and then choose the right one... Will take eternity. I work as personal interpreter sometimes and watched this strategy more then once. It will last until man actually gets ready to find ONE woman to get married. And its a bit different then choosing a best puppy out of 10. Humans sense the process better then dogs ( hence the disappointment).

[ECOCKS]

LOL! Love the picking a puppy analogy!

After posting this little note I was talking with my wife and she enjoyed it too.

Amazing how many guys think this is the way to do it and then are so surprised to discover that women are not dogs and no matter how hard you train them, they're still going to be their own person sooner or later. That said, most of us learn not to walk on the rug in our outdoor shoes pretty quick so they seem more successful in training us than vice versa, huh?

Note: Please just say no to all the possibilities suggested by discussing dogs, women and relationships in this little missive. Also, no dogs or puppies were harmed in the preparation of this though.

[Faux Pas]

Reasonable,  I suppose if a man was reasonable, he would probably not even try to look for a significant other in the fsu.  Look at all the difficulties, hassles with immigration, travel expenses, learning about cultural differences.  I am sure others could add to the list.

On the other hand however, if you are truly looking for a soulmate, how can there be a time limit.

Going to vote for as long as it takes, no matter where they live.

You make a good point. But all things being equal, neither would a reasonable RW look for a foreigner. The hassles you mention are even greater for the woman moving to the West. Let's face it, it is expensive and the hassles are a pain but really not comparative to challenges the woman faces.

I voted like you. I say go as long as it takes or until the money runs out.

[Gylden]

I don't know if I really agree with that point. I think we overate the process of moving to a new country and learning a new language, etc. I have done exactly that myself and I didn't suffer, in fact I rather enjoyed the process. I think what is important in all of it is the frame of mind the individual is in. I am sure that for some it could be a struggle. One thing which I feel is of the utmost importance in helping our wives is to stay positive and emphasise the growth and benefits and not to play into the potential victim attitude.
 
just a couple of cents from my view.   

[Gator]

Start to finish I was done in 8 months but different methods and different circumstances affect us all, what do you think affects this decision?

It depends upon the following:

1.  How committed (consciously and subconsciously) the man is to finding a wife.

2.  The man's philosophy regarding the risk inherent in this venture (his sense of adventure).

3.  The number of weeks per year he can travel.

4.  His financial wherewithal.

5.  The quality of the RW he meets.

6.  His past experiences with AW.

[rambler]

I made 8 trips  to see 6 women (2 twice) in the space of a year. 
I am based in Europe.  It was the 2nd girl I met that I ended up proposing to in December. 

Read books by Suzanne White and Liz Greene to filter out the wrong -uns. 

Always get the email and phone number of her closest girlfriend. Wine and dine this future confidant like she is worth her weight in gold, she is. 


Rambler

[Aloe]

Took me 3 years. Funny part i knew my now husband for those 3 years and even longer, before i even began looking i already knew him, we were just online friends and never met until i was 3 years into my search.

[djfourmonie]

 I haven't been looking that long and I really don't think it will take that long. It takes a unique and special woman to fall in love and marry me. Not by my requirements but what you have to put up with in Western Culture being a mixed race/bi-racial couple.

 I don't think I have to put up with as many games as many of you would have to deal with, I basically don't contact women, I let them contact me.

[Shadow]

I haven't been looking that long and I really don't think it will take that long. It takes a unique and special woman to fall in love and marry me. Not by my requirements but what you have to put up with in Western Culture being a mixed race/bi-racial couple.

 I don't think I have to put up with as many games as many of you would have to deal with, I basically don't contact women, I let them contact me.

Confidence is good. But letting women contact you could cost you a lot of money unless you are ar intelligent as you are confident.

[Kuna]

The more unrealistic, the more potential for the search going on forever...

Should it stop if the guy is unrealistic?  Not necessarily,  because the adventure is worth the plane tickets 10 times over.