Tashkent.....Finally!

[Gylden]

LOL, you see!!! this is what happens if you go WOVO!!
 

Sounds like something could be developing though.......what happened with O??

[BillyB]

Hey JR,
  Your third photo is a television antenna, television station, and restaurant all rolled up in 1. It's one of the tallest structures in the FSU. Out of the two bubble looking areas in the tower a revolving restaurant sits in the lower one and still one can see the whole city from that height.

[facetrock]

 So is this a WOAMHATABSLFHNJ (Write One And Miss Her At The Airport Before She Leaves For Her New Job) kind of story?

[JR]

Off we go to my apartment to get some gifts I had brought. This makes us late to the apartment K shares with her mom. We apologize and everything is cool. The place is a not very modern, to say the least. It was clean but in need of major upgrading.. I had seen photos of K in her previous apartment and it was quite nice. K had told me in December when she lost her job that they would have to get a cheaper apartment…

K’s mom Anna brings out the photo books and I get to see all the old family photos. I feel very comfortable there, probably more so than if K had been with us. Long time family friend (thirty plus years) and Anna’s fiancé, Sergei is there and he speaks broken English. We get along great. Heck, I get along great with everyone there. I bust out the netbook I bought for K and show them fifteen hundred photos of my daughter LOL. K calls and calls and calls but can’t hear anything. After two different phones are plugged in things finally start to work. Her mom chats a few moments and then indicates K wants to speak with me. We exchange pleasantries and she apologizes for the situation. I tell her not to worry, she did the right thing and while I am disappointed I am not upset.

It’s late and time to leave. I walk away with the feeling that it’s not a matter of having a foot in the door but that I’m all the way in and they’re closing the door behind me. Acceptance seems to be complete.

We always talk about how important it is to meet the family in the first or second visit. Well, I have done so. I just haven’t met the lady in question…

[facetrock]

  Hmmmmm. Interesting approach. Meet the family on your first trip. The second trip meet the girl. Clever, very clever

[UTRO]

Too funny JR!
Funny aside, I give you tons of credit for even agreeing to meet K's family. Strange, but yet seems completely appropriate in this situation   
I would have done the same

[Ludmila]

JR,
 you are kind and honest. You are a wonderful person. You are trusting and optimistic. I am sure I can learn from you how to be optimistic and stay composed  in any upsetting situation.

My heart was tugged in the beginning ( still is, actually), when you said that when you arrived she had left.

As I was reading your report and giving everything a thought, I began thinking that your K simply couldn't afford not to go : although she knew your visit was due, yet, she couldn't turn down the trip. 
And that her departure  and your visit overlapped is simply bad luck.

She needs that job desperately: she comes from a poor family, and she needs to earn her bread. Her family makes a very good impression--simple, kind people.

However, when and if  your relationship becomes more mature ( hopefully so!), I think it would be logical  to expect her to  take a decision and,  at some point of time, put your visits and the future marriage before everything else.

While this episode showed that in your and K 's case your visits/ her presence should be planned, allowing for
force- majeure circumstances,  she is supposed to realize that skipping the stage of getting to know each other well is an  absolute imperative.

[Gylden]

Way to go JR. you have re-defined WOVM....(write one visit mother).

Good luck to you!
 

[alex330]

Crazy trip for a one day visit. You have a set for sure. Great pics.
Hopefully it will be something you can both look back at and laugh about years froim now 

Good luck

[rjd400]

To the same family? 

I just read this, sorry for not replying earlier.  No, I think it's a different gal, mine is "M"...

[tim 360]

Jolly,  I just read your trip report and I just gotta tell you that you are one very classy guy.  You are the man.  And I never thought that before reading your trip report.  Not too many guys would be able to do what you have done and my hat is off to you.  Some guys would be mad and pissy and whiney and you stay very positive and have a good time with her family.  Sure, the girl probably really needs the job alot and her family stepped up to the plate to make you feel welcome with their hospitality, though she was away at her new job.  It appears you have won over the family--next step is the girl.

Your story is just beautiful.  You travel thousands of miles to Tashkent to meet a girl for one day.  Enroute to Tashkent she calls and calls leaving you messages that she must leave a day early for her new job and can't meet you.  You never get the messages until too late and you are in Tashkent and she has just left as you arrived.  Sort of an O'Henry story.

[JR]

I went to dinner with O, her husband and a long time friend of Ks. We went to an authentic Uzbekistan restaurant. There were a lot of different platters and I got to try horse, a little gritty. O asked if I’d had it before and what I thought about it. I replied no and that I preferred a good steak. We tried some local wine which was sweet and I had about two glasses. That is the most wine I have ever consumed at one time. A lot more vodka went down and most of it by K’s brother.

O went and bribed the DJ to karaoke the old Elvis song “I can’t help falling in love.” She said it was for me and the talk turned to me and K. She asked what position I felt K would have when we marry. (Yes, she said when, not if we marry.) I told her that my wife will not be below me nor above me but rather beside me as an equal partner. She beamed at this and said K would be happy to hear it. She then started talking about how much K thought about me and how wonderful I am, etc, etc. I stopped her as she was in the middle of saying that K was in love with me. I held up my hand and said “stop.” I elaborated that I am flattered but that K cannot be in love with me. She has never met me and while she may be attracted to me as I am to her that is not love. I explained that love requires a deep understanding and acceptance of who the other person is. You have to like someone to be in love with them. Liking someone requires shared experiences, good, bad, trying and fun. I asked her if that is not so of her and her husband? I left the subject by relating that all K can have for me is an infatuation fueled by who she thinks I am or wants me to be.

It was a good evening with opportunities to get to know them and for them to see who I am, at least a little. When the time came to pay I had to become a bit stern with O who kept insisting that they pay and then that they pay for their part. I finally told her that she will find me as stubborn as a mule and that when I say no, it means no. I had invited them to dinner and it was on me. They invited me to stay for another week but I told them “no thank you” I want to get back to see my daughter (whom I am missing powerfully by now.)

When we got back to my apartment O pointed out to me that no one was outside. From our first phone conversation she had made it a point of emphasizing that it was not safe to be out after dark. I was never sure if that was the case or if she was simply trying to keep me locked away like the guy whose lady friend locked him up in his apartment and took the keys!!! I never felt unsafe and I did venture out a couple times after dark. But I always stayed in the main business areas.

I mostly read while I had down time. The day I left LA I had picked up a book for K. She is a veterinarian and so I found a rather big book about that profession written in English. I felt that would help her transition if things went that way for her. I had also taken along several books for myself and left them with her when I left because I feel it will help with her general English skills.

[Jumper]

Very very cool Jolly!


thanks for sharing..
and glad that she did make attempts to contact you ..
 and spoke with you while at the parents..
I'm sure you gained her and her families respect.

Crazy trip but great things start out in the oddest ways sometimes..

[Gylden]

echo what AJ said and You da Man!!

[Aloe]

Just curious, couldnt you go visit her wherever she went off to?

Also curious whats up with americans and tucking EVERYTHING into the pants. Doesnt a nontucked shirt or t-shirt look a lot better ? Nice shirt btw

[RussianWind]

I bet it was the most exciting trip you've ever done. Can't wait to hear the part about stolen documents and money.

[rjd400]

I have to echo what a lot of other people have been saying.  First, you really "took the reigns" and decided that despite the fact she wasn't there, YOU were going to make it worth your while.

On top of that, you are the eternal optimist.  But not in a naive, silly way, more in a "I'm going to make this work for me" way.  Kudos to you...

[Ludmila]

Aloe,  why the tucked in shirt?-- Very simple : only those men ( and ladies) with TRIM waistline  can afford wearing them. JR is one of them. Nice, manly and boyish.

JR, your tucked in shirt looks appropriate and very becoming to you!

[Boethius]

I think you're mistaken, Ludmila.  It is a matter of age.  Young men, such as those of Aloe's age, often wear shirts untucked.  Old guys, like Joe, my husband, and perhaps your husband, probably always wear their shirts tucked in.  

(ETA - I finally convinced my husband he doesn't have to tuck in his t-shirts.  I think they look better untucked.)

[IAmZon]

JR - I have always appreciated your good nature.  In this TR, you have also demonstrated reserve and class.  Good for you. 

I hope very much that everything works out for you and K, because I want you off the playing field:)  You seem deserving of everything you are seeking.

Best of luck

[Ludmila]

 Boethius,

In fashion, as in everything else, in the end, it is your common sense, not the trend, that usually dictates your limits.

It isn't the matter of age but what one can/ cannot afford to wear, and their respective figures.

The difference is simple and logical :

if you are burdened with the flesh, irrespective of gender-- young, middle aged or old-- ( and, hopefully, sane), you better hide your riches in safe places ;-) and join the club of fans of wearing  baseball caps the other way round and your pants lower than your derriere AND FEEL YOUNG AND TRENDY


If you are trim and sexy, like JR or, my husband for that matter ( donno about yours)--ditto-  young, middle aged or old,   -- you have the advantage of proudly wearing anything  you like AS YOU PLEASE  (untucked /tucked)....... and not bother about assorted opinions on final truth in latest fashion trends donated by enthusiasts from various online sources  :-)

Hope, it helps.

[Boethius]

No, it didn't help at all Ludmila.  Because you missed the entire point .

I wasn't referring to flesh, but rather, to age.  Hot young men, unburdened with excess flesh, wear shirts untucked as often as they wear them tucked.  It has nothing to do with spare tires around their middles, as you asserted.

Older men (and women) with common sense don't aspire to follow the trends of youth.  It has nothing to do with weight, and everything to do with decorum.

My husband has always been slim, a combination of genetics, athleticism, and his eating habits (a vegetarian who eats one meal daily).   

[Ludmila]

Oh, well......a word is enough to the wise....

[Boethius]

 

[Mir]

Your story is just beautiful.  You travel thousands of miles to Tashkent to meet a girl for one day.  En route to Tashkent she calls and calls leaving you messages that she must leave a day early for her new job and can't meet you.  You never get the messages until too late and you are in Tashkent and she has just left as you arrived.  Sort of an O'Henry story.

Exactly, infact I have decided that this will form the plot of my first novel (the one I have been planning to write for the last 10 years).
So spaseeba for the inspiration