Elena's Models Experience / Tutorial

[spectris]

Since this is the “Starting Out” area, I will offer my perspective and limited, but recent experience with ElenasModels as well as how I approached using it.  I’m not really advocating it, just sharing my experience for another newbie like me because I know I would have appreciated some “hands on” experience here, but couldn’t really find it except in bits and pieces, so…

I’ve only been at this for a few months and while I have met someone (wait, not “met” actually – let’s say “found”) here, I won’t be able to actually meet her until next month, but I feel like I can comment on the site and at least share my limited experience so far as to the search and functionality.  Btw, EM is the ONLY one of these sites that I’ve fooled around with that I would recommend, I have opinions about a few other sites, but I didn’t spend much time on them so I could very well be wrong with my first impression.

Nothing special about me, I’m just your average 55 year old disillusioned AM (American Male for the true newbie’s) “looking” for a SO.  I am serious though and I have a lot of experience w/ dating both off-line and on-line (if you want Match.com advice, I can give it to you as well, but I will have to have a consulting fee since it’s a lot more complicated than this!) – so please read this with that perspective.

Back to EM.  I checked it out for free, blah, blah – whipped out the CC and signed up.  The setup was simple and very basic (which I appreciate) and since I had recent photos only took about 15 minutes.  I won’t bore you with the learning curve, but there was one although far less so than an American dating site (and Elena’s IS a dating site – definitely not an agency and I’m not sure what is meant by “matchmaking” site exactly – but in my experience it is very similar to the Men’s side of Match.com albeit with much better prospects).  I did a basic fist search and there were quite a few women who met my criteria – again to each his own, but I had/have very specific requirements that I won’t compromise on in the “web environment” – might be my Match.com experience, but I understand well how to navigate the online dating world.

My requirements were Woman (duh?), 35-45 (I was 54 now 55 remember), Divorced (why has she never been married at 35-45 in the FSU?), had to have teenage or older children (don’t’ want to do the baby/young child thing again or fight the “clock”), University or greater education (plenty of high school only women here in DFW), Drink “socially” (lifestyle choice), NOT SMOKE  (lifestyle choice and absolute deal-killer for me), appeal to me physically (again, duh?) and have Good to Fluent English skills (I want to be able to TALK to my potential SO without a translator or dictionary).  All the other questions were answered but irrelevant to my search as I was willing to consider any geography at this point.

I was 100% truthful in my profile and used new photos for the record.

So, I ran my initial search and got say 45-50 hits (10-15 I discarded immediately because I wasn’t physically attracted to them leaving maybe 30-35 possibles) which I thought was exceptional considering the English requirement, but…  Anyway, my procedure was this:

1.   Create a standard “form letter” for my initial contact that expresses my interest in them based on their profile, etc., etc.  I purposely did not ask a single open ended question or anything that would require the woman to send me anything other than a “form letter” herself as a response (I have a sense of fairness after all).  I did this as filter 1 and because it’s quick – just change the “Hi “Svelta” then copy and paste.  EM has a good management tool to automatically save and track your emails w/ the woman’s profile picture visible in the header which is a huge plus.

2.   I used EM EOI (Expression of Interest) feature for the 10-12 women that I really though had potential.  For those of you unfamiliar with EM’s, the EOI feature is similar to the “Wink” on Match.com – it’s just more appropriately named.  You are sending the lady an automated “Expression of Interest” that says you like her profile and would like to communicate with her.  You are de-facto making the first move (lame admittedly but first at nonetheless) so it allows the woman to respond to you in either a personal (if she’s interested) or automated if she’s not (“Olga” is not interested in you, but there are many new ladies joining our site every day” or something to that effect – a little humbling, but part of the deal you know).  NOTE, I’ll give a lot of credit to EM here for showing you in the profiles what % that women respond to EOI’s – if it’s 99% then you can expect a response, if it’s 50% you might be honored that you received a response.  I say “might” because I don’t know if the calculation is from total response or positive response – I would think total, but I couldn’t figure it out.

3.   So, now wait for your INBOX results - you will receive 4 types.  Positive response from your initial form letter, positive response from your EOI notification, negative response from your EOI notification and unsolicited emails from ladies who found you from their search side.  The ones who don’t like you just don’t respond, so guys please don’t contact them again – it embarrasses our whole gender!

4.   My initial 30 is now down to 18-20 (still a lot to deal with), so out goes my “form letter #2” EXCEPT I now have asked 3 or 4 specific questions (what are your children’s names and ages, tell me about your job, etc.) including asking for their personal email address to get off the EM site.  Nothing complicated, but more than a standardized response would accommodate.

5.   Back to waiting on the INBOX now to check response.  I probably got 13 or 14 responses at this point and I was able to discard all but 4 because I could better rate their level of English now since I’m pretty sure I got some “form letters” in the initial email exchange.

6.   I chose one (sorry you other 3) simply because we just clicked via emails – the reasons are just my personal preference and would be of no help to any of you still reading this.

She and I have been communicating via email and SKYPE video chat for 2 months and have worked out a way to meet next month so who knows?  I’ll let you know I guess.  At any rate, I will highly recommend EM as a dating site and will absolutely tell you there seems to be a category of women in the FSU world that is not routinely available to a 50+ year old man in the US (intelligent, beautiful, seemingly grounded – more actually, but that already creates their own category).

One footnote on #3, I discarded all the “unsolicited” emails solely based on a understanding (or misconception maybe?) that a serious FSU woman would not make the first contact as a rule.

So, that’s my Tutorial and experience so far.  Everyone’s search and circumstance is different – age, expectation, finances, time available to pursue this (I have very little), etc., but this is my true and unbiased experience – not a recommendation.  I know in my case the biggest eliminating factors were #1 the English requirement (by far), and #2 the Drinking requirement (surprising to me, but I’m not sure how accurate this was – any ladies that listed None or Never were not considered by me anyway in case you are reading!).

 I will say, every serious email exchange seemed genuine and I would not hesitate to use EM again.

[SANDRO43]

Back to EM.  I checked it out for free, blah, blah – whipped out the CC and signed up. 

I'm surprised that few seem to avail themselves of the additional opportunities available to EM's Silver (free) members :

- 1 contact for $15 (UNLIMITED mails with one lady)
- 10 contacts for $49 (UNLIMITED mails with 10 ladies)

Only limitation: no enlarging of thumbnail photos.

[Lily]

  I say “might” because I don’t know if the calculation is from total response or positive response – I would think total, but I couldn’t figure it out.
 

It is from the total. I also tried EM and kept my response rate at maximum. To my utter regret, I had to reply with 'no thank you' pretty often

One footnote on #3, I discarded all the “unsolicited” emails solely based on a understanding (or misconception maybe?) that a serious FSU woman would not make the first contact as a rule.
 

I 'd strongly advise rethinking this conception. A serious woman would, or even should make a first contact, as soon as she spots some potential in a male profile.

[Chicagoguy]

Lily,

The "find me first" method worked very well for me. The one unexpected benefit was that I had no scammers contact me. They were all nice, sincere ladies. And the ones I did end up seeing were exactly as represented by their profiles and letters.

And I must include my wife in this category.

The only caveat is that myself and the ladies were all over 50 so that may be different than what happens to others.

[Jumper]

I 'd strongly advise rethinking this conception. A serious woman would, or even should make a first contact, as soon as she spots some potential in a male profile.

I would agree 100% with Lily on that.

Reasons:
The ones contacting you, have read your profile,
 found something of interest!!
 
It is like her  coming over and speaking to you at a cafe' or newstand..kiosk

To ignore someone of interest, simply  because they wrote first, is throwing the baby out with the bath water.

While some writing first  can include those with scam motivations,
 it is a very low percentage on EM and those are generally easy to spot  !
Also you are not immune to that by writing a profile that interest you first ,that is flawed logic.

Its just a different way of looking at things ,and your way works fine!
 i just wouldnt offhand eliminate women writing you.
As I have had plenty of sincere women contact me first..


Good luck! things seem to be progressiung well!

[IAmZon]

It is an interesting topic and timely for me.  A couple years ago, I used EM and met a couple fantastic ladies and recieved terrific response, developed several good prospects ... but decided to go and live in a different  part of the world.  Several years ago, I enjoyed writing emails and looking for possibilities.

I stopped using EM totally for two years until last week.  So far my experience has been much different.

The response has not been what it was before.  But, more importantly, the quality and depth of communication does not come close to what i experienced two years ago.  Plus, I am a lot wiser and not a soft sell.  Plus, I am not enjoying the chit chat like I did in the past. 

This is more like a job - which is cool.  a labor of / for love. 

[Turboguy]

I have to agree with Lily, that to discard women who write to you first is probably not a wise choice.  I always gave them extra consideration because their writing first was an indication of interest in me so that helps to eliminate one part of the equation.   Way back in my search before I found RWD or started to use Elenas I used a listing with some agencies where my info was sent and one of the things I really liked was it gave me a pool of ladies who I would have a high chance of success with.

The other thing I might disagree with is your drinking requirement.  I would suggest no being so quick to write off women who say they don't drink.   Drinking is often looked at a little differently there.  Drinking tends to be Vodka.  A non drinker is usually a social drinker who will drink wine or beer and often fairly frequently.   I can't recall ever meeting a RW who didn't enjoy a glass of wine or more. 

I am glad you are having success.  Your techniques and requirements are about the opposite of what mine were but there are lots and lots of things that will all work well. 

I hope you have a great meeting with your lady next month.

[camachinist]

OP, as a newbie here, but not to this subject, I wanted to thank you for your perspective on EM and your 'method'. Having been married (and now divorcing) to an American lady in the interim, things certainly have changed in the 13 or so years since I joined the Russian Women's List (forums like this one didn't exist back then) and traveled to Ukraine. I examined EM's site in detail over the last few days, as well as other meeting/matchmaker sites, and certainly see things have changed since the 'old' days.

Two areas I will likely differ will be, as some others have expressed, in responding to those ladies who contact me unilaterally and, rather than sending out 'form' letters to initial contacts, compose a brief, but personalized, correspondence. These aspects are more in line with my personality, an area where we all differ, and, to me, compatibility is paramount in a marriage or LTR.

One area, from perusing profiles, that I've noted to seemingly change over the last decade is that the ladies are appearing to seek a more contemporary gentleman, age-wise, than when I last visited Ukraine. Back then, it wasn't outlier to date someone 10-15 years younger (one of the ladies I met who became a good friend over the years is 12 years younger) but it was outlier to date an 'older' woman (I did, and she was 46 to my 38). Now, it appears desired age ranges have narrowed, and I see more women in my age bracket (50), looking for same age or younger men. This even extends to younger women, down into the 30's, at least on EM's site. In truth, finding women my age has been a bit of a struggle, but I've only begun.

Anyway, good luck with your meeting. IME, and I had a fair amount back before the internet made travel to the CIS/FSU 'easy', it's best to get things into real life as quickly as feasible. Like I always say, press flesh, not keyboards. That part of the world has some amazing culture and history and I have nothing but good memories of the men and women I've met in my travels there. Safe travels! 

[Patagonie]

I agree with Lily, during nine months i think i received at least 50 letters on EM. At my opinion around 10/12 were scammers. The others are really serious. Some writes you twice and more to know why you don't yet answer ! But scammers are not very few. I think you have to consider this  belief carefully. And there are two sorts of scammers : the internet one and the meeting one. The second are difficult to detect and really more difficult to be prevented well in advance.

[Aloe]

One footnote on #3, I discarded all the “unsolicited” emails solely based on a understanding (or misconception maybe?) that a serious FSU woman would not make the first contact as a rule.

Definitely a misconception. When a woman signs up for EM, the website suggests (in bold red font) you write to at least 10 men, many women listen to that Besides, if she did the effort of looking/reading and then writing, i think she is more likely to be serious.
When i signed up, i looked through ALL platinum/golden members (then i ran out of patience, cuz that is already like 1000 profiles), and wrote to the only 10 i liked. It took me around 8 hours. Now imagine, a woman making that big an effort, and picking you out of thousands, and then you just discard her email without reading, only because she wrote you first Bizarre

[Gator]

Spectris,

Good explanation.  I used EM in 2006-2007 and it yielded some excellent contacts.

My comments to your specific criteria and procedure:

1.  Don't automatically dismiss unsolicted letters if the woman's age is appropriate (agree with Aloe Lily, and Turbo).

2.  Consider "Fair" English skills.  You can always dismiss a RW later if you discover that you do not understand her on Skype.  I was able to communicate via telephone with many RW who said their English was only "fair."  There is a limit, however, as when I was yelling repeatedly "Pull in the line" and variants to no avail when sailing with one RW.  Yet, you can still have a serious conversation, albeit at not a rapid pace.   A relationship does not require rapid adjustment of sails.

3.  No drinking could mean absolutely 'not at all.'  More than likely it is as Turbo wrote.  Almost all drink in moderation wine, champagne, cognac and sweet cocktails.  One RW I knew very well would enjoy all of the preceeding yet at a New Year's celebration in the DR, she pulled me out of the party when I ordered my fourth shot from the tequila girl.  She was reminded of bad experiences with her alcoholic ex-husband.  It was not bad as we celebrated New Year's on the beach in a private, intimate manner. 

4.  A "non-smoker" may actually smoke at a party.  I always clarified this point.

[BillyB]

I was 100% truthful in my profile

It's okay to mention that here but never tell the ladies that. I've met ladies who described themselves as elegant, classy, blah, blah, blah, and I concluded they wrote their personal opionion about themselves and not the truth as I seen it. When a lady wants me to tell her something about myself, I tell her my opinion but it's up to her to decide who I am and if I'm a man she'd like to know.

Although Elena models gets thumbs up from most guys here, a few guys PM'd me some things about EM told by the ladies they've met. EM is big and I'm sure they rely on feeder agencies with different owners and different ways of doing business even if unethical. It's smart to beware of any agency you do business with and evaluate if you're writing a real person or Ivan, the employee of the month.

[Faux Pas]

It's okay to mention that here but never tell the ladies that. I've met ladies who described themselves as elegant, classy, blah, blah, blah, and I concluded they wrote their personal opionion about themselves and not the truth as I seen it. When a lady wants me to tell her something about myself, I tell her my opinion but it's up to her to decide who I am and if I'm a man she'd like to know.

Although Elena models gets thumbs up from most guys here, a few guys PM'd me some things about EM told by the ladies they've met. EM is big and I'm sure they rely on feeder agencies with different owners and different ways of doing business even if unethical. It's smart to beware of any agency you do business with and evaluate if you're writing a real person or Ivan, the employee of the month.

As best as I could deduce, EMs isn't an agency. While they may or may not be connected to other "feeder agencies" ( I really have no idea) they do not operate as most agencies operate. EMs is more of an introduction site almost to the degree of a social networking site with the exception of the paid membership.

I mention this because I am relatively sure most of the ladies I communicated with from EMs were actually the ladies themselves. Most all gave me their phone numbers and I called at an appropriate hour and spoke to these women post haste. Maybe I was just lucky with 25-35 ladies in Ukraine and Russia? I don't think so. There wasn't a single one that led me to believe they were not who they represented themselves to be. Are there scammers on EMs? I would say the probability is very high that there are in fact scammers but I didn't encounter one or an obvious one after 6 months membership.

I met my wife on EM and I stated as much in our K-1 visa process as did she. We did so in our efforts to be completely honest and full disclosure. USIS doesn't see EMs as a marriage agency either as there was no IMBRA loops to jump through.

[kievstar]

Hi Faux Paus, how many women from EM did not you meet face to face?

[Faux Pas]

Hi Faux Paus, how many women from EM did not you meet face to face?

Not sure how to read your question there kievstar. I only met one. I married her. I was from time to time, a member at some other sites and agencies and can relate to the "PMs" Billy says he's received from others. But, none of the ladies I communicated with on EMs to my knowledge turned out to be scammers. That was total over a year and about 65 contacts. I did not phone one unless I was interested in her but I never had reason to suspect any of them were not who they claimed. By the time I first joined EMs I was pretty cynical and mighty suspicious.

[kievstar]

Hi FauxPas,

The scammers or not serious women on EM are going to get you during a face to face.  There perfect angels up to the actual ground meeting.  Even than some of them will get you on the second trip.  Just talking about Kiev EM.  There a more advanced scammer and know the expensive vacation and shopping trips are better than the $200 I need money scam. 

I only brought this up as you met one woman face to face. 

[Faux Pas]

Hi FauxPas,

The scammers or not serious women on EM are going to get you during a face to face.  There perfect angels up to the actual ground meeting.  Even than some of them will get you on the second trip.  Just talking about Kiev EM.  There a more advanced scammer and know the expensive vacation and shopping trips are better than the $200 I need money scam. 

I only brought this up as you met one woman face to face. 

Then those would certainly be out of the realm of my ability to comment. I can say this though, the EM's ladies are real. The profiles are not years old and regularly updated. The ladies I communicated with were quick to respond and provide personal contact information.

Kievstar, I'm convinced many guys looking to the FSU are walking marks with a bullseye on their backs just waiting on someone to come fleece. A large number of the sites and agencies reek of nefarious intentions and practice. Many of those same guys even stumble into RWD. EMs although I was very suspicious, never gave me that feeling. EMs did in fact deliver all they stated they would, for the price paid. In a sea of pit vipers, thieves and cut throats that is the MOB business, I found EMs to be a bit of an oasis. I know there are some others that are on the "up and up". I just did not find them.

I have no problem highly recommending EMs for these reasons. Am I biased? Possibly so but, as a man who does many deals over the course of an average day, I appreciate when a partner delivers on their part of the bargain.

[Gator]

Hi FauxPas,

The scammers or not serious women on EM are going to get you during a face to face.  There perfect angels up to the actual ground meeting.  Even than some of them will get you on the second trip.  Just talking about Kiev EM.  There a more advanced scammer and know the expensive vacation and shopping trips are better than the $200 I need money scam. 
 

I agree with the concept that the best scammers fly stealth and the best radar will not detect them.  

Nevertheless, upon meeting the true colors are readily apparent.  A driver/interpreter told me of how one RW got off her plane in Moscow without a coat in early April.  She was soon shivering.   During the ride from the airport to the man's hotel in center city she sat close arm-in-arm with the man for "warmth."  After about 15 minutes of such physical contact, the man asked the driver to change directions and go to a shop to buy her a coat.  She asked that he go to the Qum  :usdeyes:.  

The next couple of days went the same. The driver was not sure if the AM ever got laid.  The best stealth scammers can somehow avoid that step (they don't wish to anger their Russian boyfriends).  She did keep the coat (unlike the game where she returns it the next day and the driver, shop owner and RW all take a share).

There are plenty of RW who will enjoy your company and probably sleep with you without ever asking for anything.  I just hope that you truthfully would like to meet them again, and that you happily buy them something nice at the end of the trip to remember you and the time together.

Getting back to the point, the three EM women I met were sincerely interested in getting to know me.  There were a couple who came on strongly, and I noticed that a few months later their profiles had been removed.  EM seems to remove the culls.

[Patagonie]

By EM i met five girls. One is a pure scammer/robber. I'm Absolutely sure of that. Two of them are not clear and even few months after i'm always asking the question. (with each of them i spent ten days).
More than 15 % of contacts on EM are scams but fortunately they are deleted quickly.
One (in Kiev) is a prostitute, i'm pretty sure.

I think Kievstar is not far from the true, in particular about girls in Kiev.

[kievstar]

One thing I would like to add is that there are good girls in Kiev on EM.

But you can look at the top escorts in Kiev and with a little research also find them on EM in Kiev. One of them married a guy in New York and lives there right now.  He has no clue she was a hooker. 

I could also list more than 100 profiles in Kiev that have been there longer than 4 years and photos have not been updated (I have met more than 20 of them personally through other agencies).  I spent a bunch of time this past week looking at EM's based on a members request here.

But again there are good girls on EM and with any common sense you can find them.  Just do not think that EM is perfect in Kiev.

[Mir]

But you can look at the top escorts in Kiev and with a little research also find them on EM in Kiev

And how does one do this?