Men's Appearance

[I/O]

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lw5C1LudbY[/youtube]

 (for you I/O)

[Jumper]

A couple of clever, attractive, single AW told me that in the first minute or so of meeting a new man at a singles bars they will check out his shoes and his watch.

Now you know.  A man should buy high quality shoes anyway (for the same reason as a high quality mattress).  And keep them shined.

I've always worn the highest quality italian motocross boots Gator ,perhaps that explains my good fortune..(even if they are often dirty and not shined)
 

[Boethius]

I wouldn't put too much stock into the words of women trolling for men in singles bars (or, as my better half refers to them, "vipers' nests").

[Gator]

I wouldn't put too much stock into the words of women trolling for men in singles bars (or, as my better half refers to them, "vipers' nests").

And men trolling for women...for sure it was just casual sex.  However, the essence of hope was bouncing around in the subconscious background even if denied consciously, frequently for emotionally defensive reasons. 

[Aloe]

By appearance you mean his body or his clothes? For body i like six-pack you can wash clothes on and big big biceps Face should be manly, not a sweet boy feminine type face like Leo di Caprio and such. For clothes, i have a weak spot for men in  suits and classical coats, but thats not every day attire. Jeans are fine Just dont tuck your shirt or ESPECIALLY t-shirt into the pants Also shoes arent top priority for me, but they have to be normal, not super dirty or old, just normal shoes. Couldnt care less about the watch, who needs a watch when you have a cell phone?

[Aloe]

The main ingredient to looking good, no matter what you are wearing is looking confident. You may wear armani suit and swiss watch and be extremely uncomfortable with it, it will show and will not look good at all. Just wear what you are comfortable with

[Aloe]

oh also i really hate when i can see chest hair, its really repulsive, unless i already know i like the guy, or unless he looks like a god. In all other cases seeing chest hair is disgusting. (too low neck t-shirt or too much hair that it sticks out of a normal t-shirt or shirt, its awful awful awful awful). I dont have anything at all against chest hair on a naked or topless man or in a bathing suit, its just with casual clothes chest hair showing out of clothes on strange men really repulses me

[Aloe]

here this tv show host is a very bright example; ew 
http://www.vtm.be/sites/www.vtm.be/files/imagecache/vtm_be_gallery_big/assets/000/277/36.jpg

[mies]

I really like girl's outfit

[DaveY]

Couldnt care less about the watch, who needs a watch when you have a cell phone?

Aloe, I love you!

here this tv show host is a very bright example; ew 
http://www.vtm.be/sites/www.vtm.be/files/imagecache/vtm_be_gallery_big/assets/000/277/36.jpg

Yeah, but at least his t-shirt isn't tucked in his pants.

I really like girl's outfit

Cute outfit, cute girl, but what's up with the pierced eyebrow(?)

[Daveman]

doesn't matter what kind of underwear as long as its owner has nice booty 
The opposite is also true 

You mean it doesn't matter what kind of booty as long as its owner has nice underwear?  Now that's just plain weird! 

[Shostakovich]

A couple of clever, attractive, single AW told me that in the first minute or so of meeting a new man at a singles bars they will check out his shoes and his watch.

Now you know.  A man should buy high quality shoes anyway (for the same reason as a high quality mattress).  And keep them shined.

Bah,  put on the shiny shoes and Tag Hauer and she'll find out about the dirty underwear eventually and it'll be all over.

Sociology is always fun, always interesting to see what gets the rise out of people.  And a life can not be well lived if not well acted.  Role play is always part of the game.  People say they should be who they are but there is no fundamental basis for the personality.  A book I read some years ago was conducted by a sociologist who studied behavior in singles bars.  His shocking conclusion: the women who got the most hits looked great and the men who got the most hits displayed tokens of power: watch, Euro-car key ring, talked up a substantial position, etc.  Most of what goes on between men and women has reference to the baby that would be produced between them.  Take this view and many of the mysteries of M-F relations, involving RW or not, come clear.

Interesting entries so far.  That a woman responds to appearance is hardly surprising.  Given the obsession with clothing in R/U, however, I did expect more responses that emphasized quality and tailoring in the man's wardrobe.   

[mies]

Read yesterday the article about male gaze in cinematography and art, and how it is related to rape culture:
http://www.chaskor.ru/article/muzhskoj_vzglyad_i_krasota_chelovecheskogo_tela_15910
sorry, article is too long to translate and is in russian.
summary: in a patriarchal cultures women are portrayed in art and cinema as "beautiful". Great attention is given to their body parts, and the beauty of body parts (boobs, hips, legs etc). We can see it in movies when camera follows females as they move or walk. The males in patriarchal culture normally aren't described as "beautiful", they may or may not be handsome, but handsomeness isn't their most important quality. Other qualities - such as strength, wisdom, power, wealth - are valued in males much more than physical/erotic attractiveness and aesthetic attractiveness. Women are taught by cultural norms not to pay too much attention to males and aren't allowed to express their own preferences openly. They should obey and respond to preferences and desires of heterosexual males.
there are also few paragraphs with examples from pornography and how society treats homosexual relationships - to reinstate the predominance of male gaze in patriarchal culture.

*****  
I have a middle-eastern female friend. and she is openly telling me about her boyfriend/fiance: "Of course he isn't attractive. Male bodies are very unattractive, to put it simply - they are ugly, and extremely unaesthetic. What can be handsome in male bodies? Women are beautiful, men are not. And in sex - men in sex also are mediocre. But i am very beautiful and very good in sex - this is why my boyfriend loves me so much and values me so much. He cannot get any other woman nearly as good as me. Plus - I am very clever and very independent. Of course he wants me to stay at home, but I will not do that."

At first - I thought this is some kind of a joke, that she is making fun of me. But she is serious! She indeed believes so, believes so much that she doesn't feel it is strange to express her opinions - because she is quite confident that everyone else thinks the same way. She has a PhD, she has great job, her hobby is writing poetry and she writes beautiful poems. She is indeed beautiful and very sophisticated women. And go figure - she believes that men are ugly and they aren't good in sex and this is woman's job - to be beautiful and to make man happy in bed. And she absolutely isn't lesbian.

[kievstar]

Mies, sounds like she is confident.  But how does she know she is good in bed. 

Sounds like she has a weak man who she controls.  Is her boyfriend middle eastern as well? Has she had a lot of sex partners who were not middle eastern.  If not, she may find out down the road she is subpar.

[mies]

Mies, sounds like she is confident.  But how does she know she is good in bed.  

Sounds like she has a weak man who she controls.  Is her boyfriend middle eastern as well? Has she had a lot of sex partners who were not middle eastern.  If not, she may find out down the road she is subpar.

this has also puzzled me - how does she know she is good in bed. She had several bf's in the past, but not very many. accordingly to her words - she never dated any westerner.
Her man is also middle-eastern, he is CEO in mid-size successful company, works a lot, earns quite much, has great career etc.
btw - her bf looks fine - he is quite attractive, and nice man. I would never call him ugly.

[kievstar]

My older cousin lives in the middle east currently.  Sex is a little different over there than here in the USA meaning the men are not as educated per my cousin.  My cousin is not very attractive (actually dog ugly) but she was always able to get men in the middle east interested in her.  Very successful men as well.  Her second husband over there is really rich and her 1st husband is rich but ended up in jail in the USA for running a smuggling business on the side to not pay taxes on cigarettes which he sold at his 30 plus gas stations he owned.  She is married to both of them currently and they both know this.  Has couple children as well. 

My experience with my dealings in Syria and Saudi Arabia were with joint ventures with Arab and USA based companies.  The Arab owners loved having the quarterly board meetings in Paris, Milan, London, etc.  They would fly their personal planes and rent out top fashion models at 20-30K plus a day and have sex and drugs and shopping trips all day.  I should have asked these models how these Arabs owners performed in the sack. 

[mies]

quite interesting stories you have, Kievstar :-)
how do you know those European models?

[Faux Pas]

I have a middle-eastern female friend. and she is openly telling me about her boyfriend/fiance: "Of course he isn't attractive. Male bodies are very unattractive, to put it simply - they are ugly, and extremely unaesthetic. What can be handsome in male bodies? Women are beautiful, men are not. And in sex - men in sex also are mediocre. But i am very beautiful and very good in sex - this is why my boyfriend loves me so much and values me so much. He cannot get any other woman nearly as good as me. Plus - I am very clever and very independent. Of course he wants me to stay at home, but I will not do that."

At first - I thought this is some kind of a joke, that she is making fun of me. But she is serious! She indeed believes so, believes so much that she doesn't feel it is strange to express her opinions - because she is quite confident that everyone else thinks the same way. She has a PhD, she has great job, her hobby is writing poetry and she writes beautiful poems. She is indeed beautiful and very sophisticated women. And go figure - she believes that men are ugly and they aren't good in sex and this is woman's job - to be beautiful and to make man happy in bed. And she absolutely isn't lesbian.

I tend to agree with her 

[Mir]

But how does she know she is good in bed. 

Maybe she can be certified by a board member, any volunteers?

[spectris]

In a social setting (restaurant, bar, hotel, Admiral's Club...) for anyone over 35, AW use 4 criteria in absolute descending order:

1.  OK or repulsive (a man's idea of casual doesn't work here) to them.
2.  Watch and shoes (HUGELY important - wish I had known that 25 years ago).
3.  Conversation (be able to talk about ANYTHING other than sports basically).
4.  The Company name you work for and your title on your business card (don't leave home w/o them).

It is a very strict order - you can't skip any step to get to the next.

[Seeker]

In a social setting (restaurant, bar, hotel, Admiral's Club...) for anyone over 35, AW use 4 criteria in absolute descending order:

1.  OK or repulsive (a man's idea of casual doesn't work here) to them.
2.  Watch and shoes (HUGELY important - wish I had known that 25 years ago).
3.  Conversation (be able to talk about ANYTHING other than sports basically).
4.  The Company name you work for and your title on your business card (don't leave home w/o them).

It is a very strict order - you can't skip any step to get to the next.

No disrespect intended... but I have never met that woman.  American or otherwise.  I guess I have been lucky.

Now in other ways have I made the best choices...?

Probably not. 

[Boethius]

Restaurants/bars/hotels, etc. are not "social settings", and are probably not the greatest places to seek a long term relationship.

[spectris]

Restaurants/bars/hotels, etc. are not "social settings", and are probably not the greatest places to seek a long term relationship.


Actually they are "social settings", but point taken - so add churches, grocery stores, fitness centers, and your office - doesn't matter, the priority list doesn't change...  It's simply human nature and the default screening process (consciously or not) most all women use (well hopefully not  the watch and shoes for church or gyms, but...).  Pretty much the same for men - just substitute for #2 "Body Type".

If you are still waiting for someone to admire you for your "personality" and not care about the extra 50+ pounds or the sloppy appearance - hunker down my friend - you are in for a long wait.

[Boethius]

<i>Most</i> AW women don't pay attention to watches and shoes when they are looking for a mate.   

You obviously have looked in the wrong places for a mate, and your attitude probably plays a role as well. 

[GQBlues]

About the only nice watch I ever owned is a Hamilton, and that was a gift. Good thing I never knew this is one of the first things women look at on men. Considering the time I spent and met women on the beaches of Socal, the shoes part is a whopper to me as well...must be the flip-flops they were eyeing on...hhmmmm.

Funny too how so may women experts actually pay for email contacts just to get dates, eh?