My experience

[diverboy70]

Hi everybody!

Some of you may have read my previous posts about my search. Now I feel that my active seasrch is over, so I want to share some of my own experiences with the new guys in this search.

I have not closed "my account" but i am not really searching actively anymore. I have some contact that I am still talking to, but we will see what happens there.

After the first months, when I was signed at Elenas, I have only been using dating sites and not any agencies. I have also lately just been writing women with good english skills. This is hard enough, not beeing able to communicate in the same language makes it near impossible, in my opinion. I also have stoped writing long e-mails, I ask for Skype or msn in the first few mails. According to me in that way you can see if you have anything in common and if there is a potential.

About scammers: Most of them you can spot very easily. If it seems to good to be true it is! Watch the photos, They tell you a lot. Read the answers to your contact. Watch the profiles and beware of the words "dream" and "love" And of course never send money! Sometimes it may be more dificult to spot the sammers. But use sound judgement, that will take you far.

After my two years search I have realized that this is very much like local dating. Yes you can find a young hottie if you are lucky, and if you want that. But personally I think that you also have to put in something else, than beeing European or American , to the equation. Yes it is easier to find a younger girl that are willing to talk to you, but they also demand a decent guy, not a looser with a passport. FSU women are like any other women, but often a bit smarter. That can work for you , if you are a smart educated guy with decent values. But it can also work against you, especially if you have very fixed conservative values. Then they will dismiss you very fast and ruthlessly.

I also feel that European men have a much better chance of succeeding in this venture that other men. Just because of the culture and history. FSU women expect you to have a good grasp about the Russian and European history and a decent level of education, often they expect university level, because that is what they have,

You also have to "be a man" in my interpretation that is not about muscles and toughness. Me raising a boy on my own has arisen a lot of questions but also a lot of admiration, and made me a man. It is mostly a a wish for a man who can take care of daily life and make them secure in their role as a woman.

Lastly, my advice to all newbies is to not think this is an easy way to get a young attractive wife to show off. This is not for the faint hearted, You have to put in a lot to get the woman of your dreams. FSU women demands a lot of their man, but also gives a lot for the right man. They are smart women knowing what they are looking for.

[kievstar]

Did you meet women in Russia or Ukraine?  Reason I ask I found what you wrote to be very different than the 100 plus Ukraine women I met face to face or worked with in Ukraine.  I never went to Russia so maybe the women are different attitude in Russia.

Never saw issue with conservative values - what is your definition on conservative values?

Never met one women who cared if I knew about history of Ukraine or Europe.  I think most men from USA going over to FSU have university education. 

Liked your perspective and glad I searched in Ukraine as how you describe women in Russia is very different from Ukraine women.

[Miri22]

Lol. Do uneducated men really stand a chance in the FSU seeking market? ( at least university level education) Is a highschool or less educated man even competitive in this market? Doubtful.   

[BillyB]

Is a highschool or less educated man even competitive in this market? Doubtful.   

I don't have a degree and I work in contruction moving dirt for a living. I guess since no woman would want me and I'll have to go be a monk since absitnence will be a way of life. 

[Miri22]

Monks often lead very productive lives making wine and holiday fruitcakes.

[OmegaSupreme]

I am not university educated, but do have considerable technical training in the IT field and have made a good living in this field. Not having a university education has not worked against me so far, although the career I have certainly helps with that. I'm also quite intelligent, and have certainly surprised more than one woman with my knowledge of history. Alright, I'll shut up here before I start sounding like I'm bragging...

I think the women are more interested in intellgence and common sense than education. Unfortunately, too many people in this endeavor seem to be highly lacking in both.

[kievstar]

Street smarts over book smarts for most women in agencies is most important.  Most university educated working women at high level jobs in Ukraine are to busy to be looking at foreign men online as they already work with many expats.  You want highly educated women making $100,000 usd go take an executive level expat job in Ukraine.  These women will be all over you and your not going to find them online or in marriage agencies.  I should know I worked in Ukraine. 

So if you lack street or book smarts than I see a challenge finding women.

Diverboy had a relationship that he thought was heading towards marriage then she got cold feet.  Than he got beaten up another time.  He seems like a good guy but Russia does not seem to work for him.

[diverboy70]

Kievstar,

You are drawing a lot of conclusions from very little information 

The reason why I am quitting this search at the moment is because of the fact that my business and my son is taking too much time right now. (and that business is bringing in much more than $ 100 000/year in personal income) But unlike you, i am never making a big deal of money, I am doing this because I like it and I am good at it, not just for the money.

And for your information I stated in the OP that I have never been using agencies.

My opinion is that most of the women that fullfilled my other "requirments" and where and where an honest discussion occured, never was looking for a rich man, but for a man who had a stable job with a normal pay. Most of them also wanted to work themself. It may be because I was looking for smart, educated, independent women. A "perfect blond", just wanting to be a houswife is a very big turnoff for me in itself. I rather take a 7 with a brain.

[SMS60]

After my two years search I have realized that this is very much like local dating.

Agree. I think there are a lot of men striking out on the home turf and think it will be different in another country. But they still go down swinging.

Did you have much success dating in your home city?

[diverboy70]

SMS60,

I have never had a problem with dating here locally. The problem is that I live in a small society. That is more of a problem, than my personal dating skills.

But I agree fully with you, that this is not for those who cant "swing at home".

[kievstar]

Diverboy you just made a big deal about money.  Why post how much you make.

You said you used EM.  It is a marriage agency. 

[diverboy70]

I did not specify how much I makeand it was basically an provocing and ironic answer to you mentioning expat earnings, I am sorry if you missunderstood me.

I used Elenas for about one months two years ago, but soon realized it was not my thing. I have never had a problem finding women on free or low cost dating sites. It is also more in line with my philosophy of just normal dating.

My main message in my OP was to the neewbies, that  RW mostly are like any other women, with some cultural twists of course. I know that a lot of neewbies to this adventure have unrealitsic beliefs. However if you have something to offer in your personality you can find a really fine woman in FSU, just dont think this is any easier than local dating. If you cant get a woman at home dont think it is any easier in FSU.

One of the reasons why I have not been active here lately is because of these kind of discussions. Most of the discussiond sooner or later gets out of hands and then becomes a personal battle between members of diferent opinions.