Trip Report to Belarus with abelarusbride.com - a multi-part report

[sdt]

This is my trip report to Belarus that I have maid from June 3 to June 10 with an american based
agency called “abelarusbride.com” based in Akron Ohio.
I apologize if my english isn’t perfect but it is not my native language although I have spent a few years working in the United States.
This agency claims that they are different and that they know all the girls personally. Although this claims is made by just about anyone in that business who has married a Russian Belarussian or Ukrainian citizen.
If you go to their web site you will see that they ask for 1000 $ upfront which does not buy you anything. In fact all their services are to be paid locally. The interpreter, if needed, is not included and it is expensive although good (I shall talk about that later) same for the hotel.
I thought that  $1000 for  just the right to go there was quite a stiff price but I liked some of the ladies on their site so I joined although for me was a big economical effort also considering the world’s economy which is affecting also the company where I work.
Their policy is that a customer should start to write to a few of the ladies than go there to visit them and than eventually narrow the choice to the favourite(s) one.
I did not like the idea of writing to a few pictures; therefore I asked to go there first, meet them in person, than decide which one I would correspond with. This is also better for the ladies who actually see whith whom they correspond face to face. Besides sending to the agency a good number of recent photos of myself I also sent them an introduction letter for the ladies with all the important details about myself. It was a long letter with as many details as possible, all written in Russian.
This introduction letter and the photos should have been sent to the 10 ladies I have chosen to meet.
I do speak some russian enough for a “small talk” and maybe a little more, but the letter was written with some help of course. All the ladies I choose were from Vitebsk, a small town 3 hours drive from the Capital city Minsk where I landed. The driver fom the agency was waiting for me and he was a real nice guy; an engineer who helped this agency part time. We talked in Russian for the whole duration of the trip Minsk Vitebsk. Of course he too had a fee; $ 350 round trip which was also NOT included in the $ 1000 already paid to the agency.
June 3  2010 was a Thursday and when we arrived to the hotel. Olga the interpreter was waiting.
She told me that the next day (Friday) I would meet with one lady. Let’s call her “Lady 1”.
She was one of the ladies I had chosen. In her profile her height was stated as 5’5” and her weight at about 114 pounds age 30 the youngest among those I choose. I am 180 cm tall which is more than 5’.9”.
She was a really beautiful big girl but her measurements did not match what was written in her profile. She was about 5.9 or more without heels (taller than me with heels) and her weight surely over 150 pounds since she was a BIG beautiful girl also very elegantly and exclusively dressed. When I say BIG, I mean all over big but not fat; simply big. Since in the agency’s web sitye stood clearly that her profile was updated May 2010, I began to think how good they really knew their girls but since I liked her I did not think too much about such details after all.
We met for about 2 hours with the interpreter in a small restaurant and after that “Lady1” decided that she would like to have dinner with me without the interpreter since she spoke enough English and I enough Russian.
By the way, Olga the interpreter does not have an hourly fee; she takes 50$ for the day and if the meeting lasts only 2 hours it is still 50$.
Lady1 choose a very nice restaurant featuring a long list of french wines and a real nice setting.
She had a champagne taste but it was OK. So we started talking and she told me that she was married in America and lived there in Los Angeles. I am not an american but I lived 3 months in LA in Wilshire boulevard therefore I know LA a bit. So I asked her where she lived in LA. She told me that she lived in BEL AIR not too far from RODEO DRIVE and that she was tired to fly every single week end to Las Vegas where her husband, addicted to gambling, used to leave large sums of money at various casinos.
My english is not good enough to fully describe my consternation hearing that. Here I am, thousand of miles from my home in Italy, in a small place in Belarus only 60 Km away from the russian border hoping to find somebody with old fashion values; instead i meet with somebody clearly out of my financial league besides the obvious consideration that “Lady1” with all her beauty was not what I was looking for since I had serious intentions and wasn’t looking for a short lived adventure. So I politely said no to a proposal to travel to Minsk for the week end. After all I had 9 more ladies to meet and it was unlikely that I would meet another lady who lived in LA near  rodeo drive again.

[Faux Pas]

Great TR sdt! Keep it coming

[BillyB]

She was one of the ladies I had chosen. In her profile her height was stated as 5’5” and her weight at about 114 pounds age 30 the youngest among those I choose. I am 180 cm tall which is more than 5’.9”.
She was a really beautiful big girl but her measurements did not match what was written in her profile. She was about 5.9 or more without heels (taller than me with heels)

Welcome to the forum sdt.

You say you are 180 cm and just over 5"9". 5'9" is about 175 cm and 180 cm is 5' 11". Is it possible that you're closer to 175 than 180?  One thing I've notice with a lot of people who write their profiles is they are shorter and heavier than what they actually state. In your case the lady was taller than her stated height and it's possible that you are shorter than 180 since you feel you're just over 5' 9" instead of 5' 11".

[Shadow]

Welcome to the forum sdt.

You say you are 180 cm and just over 5"9". 5'9" is about 175 cm and 180 cm is 5' 11". Is it possible that you're closer to 175 than 180?  One thing I've notice with a lot of people who write their profiles is they are shorter and heavier than what they actually state. In your case the lady was taller than her stated height and it's possible that you are shorter than 180 since you feel you're just over 5' 9" instead of 5' 11".

Billy as sdt is Italian I would think his height of 180cm would be correct, its the translation to feet and inches that always drives us continentals nuts. 

sdt, benvenuto and if lost for words some people here will manage to read Italian, the foremost would be Sandro.

Regarding the prices, they seem a bit stiff for Belarus standards, it seems the agency is charging at Amercian level, thoug I do not have first-hand experience.

[sdt]

Unfortunately, Olga the interpreter called me and notified that there will be no new meetings for the weekend because all russians go out of town to their “dachas” in order to spend time with friends. I included a week end in my visit because I thought that ladies who work would have more time on a weekend than during a workday.
Here is when doubts about the seriousness of  “abelarusbride.com” began to surface. It is true that russians love their “dachas” but they can go there every single week end during the nice season. If the ladies had been seriously interested in meeting a man from the west they would have forgone ONE weekend to their dachas. Out of 9 ladies no one was apparently willing to do so; which tells me that their real interest in meeting a man who travelled so many miles to visit them was close to 0. Some were apparently out of town, others did not have any interest; at least not on the weekend. some had other excuses; basically exactly the same tired crap that you would hear if you had made the mistake of travelling with one of the many scammers agencies run by russians.
So where is the difference? There isn’t any!!; what I heard from the interpreter  I could have heard from any representative of any scamming agency. American agencies including the one I unfortunately have chosen do not have the monopoly of integrity they simply act slightly differently than their russian counterparts. Russian managed agencies entice men with model-type women who do not even exist while the others with old fashion women they know personally who maybe exist but will not show up.
In both cases the results are surprisingly similar: You get back home empty handed.
But back to my report; I spent Saturday June 5, 2010 and the following Sunday June 6 alone visiting Vitebsk and his museums and watching TV trying to put my russian to the test.
My worst fears became true the next Monday June 7 when the interpreter called and announced that I had a meeting with Lady 2 and she told me her name.
Whaaaat???? I did not have any lady in my list of chosen ones with that name!!!
Olga the interpreter finally admitted that the agency was not able to set up a meeting with any of the 9 ladies left in the list of the chosen ones. She also said that she had never seen those girls and she only dir her job of interpreter. I accepted the meeting with Lady2 out of politeness because she did not deserve the humiliation I had to endure. As expected Lady2 was quite unactractive (at least for me) although with a nice personality and wit; in fact I plan to keep her as friend or pen pal if she accepts. But the truth of the matter is that I did not travel almost 3000 Miles to be set up with someone chosen by someone else out of desperation not to admit that I would have to spend the rest of the time alone in an hotel room. I would have preferred if they had told me the truth well in advance since they had my introduction letter an photos long before I started my trip.Of course this would have ment that they in fact are what they claim to be in their web site; an honest company. But since they already cashed in my 1000$ all the rest for them would be only annoyances. Back in Vitebsk on Monday June 10, 2010 I decided to cut my losses and leave the next day instead of the next Thursday. Even Olga the interpreter admitted that I wouldn’t be able to meet with any of the chosen ladies. To change a plain ticket in Belarus is an ordeal of several hours with dozens of phone calls and here Olga the interpreter finally showed her stuff and for the first time she really earned her 50$. She did a good job organizing my trip back ahead of time. By the way to change a flight date costs in Belarus 175 Euros even in the plane there were no more than 50 people in a fuselage that holds 150.
This is the end of the story of my trip to Vitebsk (Belarus) with the agency abelarusbride.com.
At this point I would like to add a few considerations about this agency as well other considerations of a more generic nature.
First my thoughts about abelarusbride.com. Of course they can always say that their ladies did not want to meet me and that it is not their fault.
This is exactly what all the scamming agencies would also say.
They had my pictures and introduction letter well in advance therefore they could have warned me if they had been honest as they claim in their web site.
Of course they would have lost the client, hence, why be honest? honesty does not pay bills.
They claim in their web site to know all the girls personally and that most of them are friends or friends of friends.
If this were true probably a few out of the 9 girls left would have accepted a meeting at least out of friendship with the agency owners. I am a normal looking guy not the hunchback of Notre Dame. The only lady I met out of my list never received my introduction letter or photos and her profile was quite incorrect; the other, not chosen by me, did indeed receive my letter and photos.
In their web site “abelarusbride.com” the owners Greg and Nina claim that they have a “crew” locally who interviews the ladies. The way it REALLY works is quite different. There is no local crew. Olga the interpreter who apparently does not know the ladies receives an SMS from Nina from Akron with nome and phone number of the lady that should meet the “customer”. She does the job of setting up the meeting and helping with the translations if needed. The meeting seems to be set up at the last minute probably the night before; a sure method for frequent failures in my opinion.
What I also found odd, is the fact that the interpreter quite often stated that she doesn’t know the ladies and she only does her job.
Abelarusbride.com states that for all future trips the $1000 fee will no longer be necessary.
Why would anyone whose trip was a failure go back to the same place? That clause is good enough only for comic relief. My grandfather used to say that in life dumb and smart both make mistakes; it is unavoidable. What tells them apart is the fact that a smart does not make the same mistake TWICE.
To conclude my trip report some personal considerations:
This was the first time I did such a trip and sure enough also considering the costs this will be the last time. I actually have given up the idea of hooking up with an east european woman. Maybe I was only unlucky or it was the shape of my nose that caused all this but I would NOT suggest to anyone to go with an agency; ANY agency american or russian.
The odds of not being disappointed are simply to small compared to the costs. The large agencies are probably worse but also with the small ones you can be sorely hurt.
The golden time for such trips were probably the nineties; those times (and women) are over; now russian women are becoming jaded and among them there is an increasing number of scammers or professional daters out to get free lunches and dinners in expensive places at cost of idiots like myself. My cousin met his Ukrainian wife during a summer vacation in a resort heavily frequented by Russians and Ukrainians. Admittedly this was a strike of luck but a much more “natural” method; as opposed to a trip like the one I did which puts all the persons involved in a state of “pressure”.
I hope that many who toy with the idea of a trip like mine read this report and think twice.
Of course they may very well be successfull because there are simply too many variables involved and there are probably success stories even with the most unethical agencies.
What nobody will tell you is how many tried and failed as opposed to how many tried and were successfull.
This is what happened to me; this report will not hurt “abelarusbride.com” since as there are no limits to human intelligence, there are also no limits to human stupidity.

[tim 360]

Thanks for taking the time posting your story sdt.  Abelarusbride sounds just like many other scam agencies out there.  Buyer beware.

[ML]

I feel very bad for you.  Sorry.

It has been posted here many times to NOT deal with agencies.  This is a prime example.  Probably even worse is to deal with any company that wants such a fixed fee to do something.

Do everything yourself.
There are 5-10 very large web based dating sites that have monthly fees.
For a month fee of $20-30 you can directly contact hundreds of women.
No intermediaries to worry about.
After a few emails back and forth, you can get phone numbers and talk directly.
You will soon determine if the woman has any real interest in you; and be able to give some thought to your potential compatibility.

[FredC]

Thanks for the trip report. One thing that I don't understand. If you speak Russian, and have a cousin with a Ukrainian wife, why use any agency. Surely she must have some single friends and can play matchmaker.

[irish]

Welcome sdt,

sorry to hear about your trip, but it was interesting.

Best of luck in your future search wherever this may be

Ciao

[SANDRO43]

Sdt, sei stato bellamente fottuto . Peccato tu non sia capitato qui PRIMA di buttare più di $ 1.000 dalla finestra, ti avremmo sconsigliato l'impresa.

For non-Italians: Sdt, you were royally focked. Pity you didn't happen here BEFORE throwing $1,000+ out of the window, we'd have advised you against embarking on this venture.

[facetrock]

Sandro

[TwoBitBandit]

It's always good to hear someone's experience of what actually goes on in these agencies.

Very early on in my search I came across abelarusbride.com and considered using them for the same reasons you probably did.  They seemed to personally know the girls and be a little more straightforward.

At one point a few years ago when I was on a business trip in Pittsburgh I even went out to Akron, Ohio and met Greg and Irina.  They seemed quite pleasant and friendly.  So, I was surprised to hear about your negative experience with them.

Sdt, do you think that there was anything that you did that contributed to your failure?  Are you in good shape?  Did you get good pictures done?  Did you set the right expectation with Greg and Irina?  Is your age gap with these ladies pushing the limit?

I've found it helpful to exchange at least one or two letters with ladies before you go to at least gauge their interest.  That also makes them feel more "invested" and they're less likely to flake on dates.

That's part of the problem with these agencies: they all value your time at zero.  If you spend a weekend sitting in your flat it's a huge cost to you in terms of limited time and money, but the agency doesn't really care.  Part of the reason I stopped using agencies was for this exact reason: I had a couple of days in my flat on some days when the agency was like, "oh, sorry, we don't have any meetings set up for you today" without any advance notice.  They don't think ahead at all.

Out of several trips to the FSU and working with many agencies, I only had two I was satisfied with: http://www.anastasya.com/ in Volgograd (not to be confused with a larger scam agency with a similar name) and Amazing Loves in Sochi (now defunct, I think).  The customer service from the rest of the agencies was very, well, Russian.

Now I just do my own trips by meeting girls off Mamba.  It's much harder and much more work, but at least I'm in control of the process.  If a trip is a failure, at least I was in control and can do better next time.

[JohnDearGreen]

This is what happened to me; this report will not hurt “abelarusbride.com” since as there are no limits to human intelligence, there are also no limits to human stupidity.

sdt:

If you had done a simple google search, you probably would find all you needed to know before signing up...

The agency guarantee:
We guarantee you, as a full member, that we will work with you for as long as it takes to make sure that you find your perfect Russian woman for marriage.

Note that it says "you find her".  It doesn't say they will find her for you.
I remember seeing this web site a long time ago.  Not a package deal that I would want, but it seems to me
you are the only one to blame for your failed trip.  There was no scam there.

[Faux Pas]

sdt

Dude you got hosed. If it were me I'd be looking to Greg and Nina for my money back. You'll likely never get it but making their life annoying would be my priority. I didn't see much of anything where you got what you paid for. Either their profiles were all fake or the ladies never got your letters. Either way they delivered zero. You could have failed less miserably on your own. Pity you didn't find RWD before hooking up with allbelarusbrides

[Daveman]

Actually I agree with you Faux and others...

but this is what concerns me here:

Their policy is that a customer should start to write to a few of the ladies than go there to visit them and than eventually narrow the choice to the favourite(s) one.
I did not like the idea of writing to a few pictures; therefore I asked to go there first, meet them in person, than decide which one I would correspond with.

Their policy suggested that he write a few letter prior. He neglected to do that.  It's a small agency. How can any agency guarantee that any one (or even nine) specific lady(ies) will want to meet a given man just because he shows up?   It seems to do so would be even more scammulous - "whether you are interested in this man or not, go meet him and let him spend his money trying to woo you"... what if the nine he chose to meet just weren't interested?  Unlikely under most circumstances, but without any prior contact, and just picking out some profiles and deciding "I'll go meet these"... well, I think he does have to take a little responsibility for the outcome.  The logic to meet first, write later makes good sense, and especially so if he were making his choices looking at a catalog while sitting at the local agency office in Belarus (which I guess there was none).

Perhaps they were all fake profiles... and obviously they didn't know the girls, etc, like they proclaimed, so I agree it was not on the level.  And then only one ugly girl out of the whole agency stable of stars in that city was interested in meeting? Something in the story has set off my "damn that's weird" detector.

sdt, I'd definitely contact the agency and air your grievances.. get an explanation and see what happens - perhaps something better will come from it.  At the very least as a US based company, you can report them to the BBB.

[kievstar]

Thanks for posting.  This happens to many guys.  Why I preach write never if you use marriage agencies.

Just show up at the marriage agency for 2 weeks.  Ask them which girls are in town and maybe interested in you.

Look at the photos they think will be good for you.  If interested, meet them.  If not, go to next agency in town.  Repeat until you find your one. 

Tricky part is making sure the agency does not give you girls out of your league due to looks, age, income, interests, etc.  You will learn quickly which girls are in your league if you do not already know.

It is true many women in agencies are picky and will not meet certain men. 


 

[JohnDearGreen]

Perhaps they were all fake profiles... and obviously they didn't know the girls, etc, like they proclaimed, so I agree it was not on the level.  And then only one ugly girl out of the whole agency stable of stars in that city was interested in meeting? Something in the story has set off my "damn that's weird" detector.

It appears the site is oriented to the wealthy WO type willing to gamble $2000 on one lady (but isn't that what all the ladies want?).  They have a requirement that the lady can only be in email communication with one man at any instance.   So naturally the ladies would be choosy about who they are locked in with.   One out of ten might not be unexpected.   I can't believe he wouldn't have called them, asked some questions,  found out the status of his ten choices, etc, before going.

The VM guy makes a trip to VO-land planning to meet 10 VO gals and gets the cold shoulder from 9 of them.  Many say SCAM because the VO gals won't jump on his VM bandwagon?  In the other report, the VM guy plans to meet 27 VM gals and...

[sdt]

Not only I did ask well in advance which ladies were available (all the chosen ones were available according to this "agency" and I was well within the ladies requirements) but I asked them to send to each one of them my introduction letter (in russian) and many photos (at least 6).
The only one I met did not receive anything from them; letter or photos. Only the one chosen by THEM did.
You cannot contact them directly because they do not give you names or addresses even after you have paid.
I did not made a search but at least one of such ladies is on the banner of Elena's models where it says that she is from Minsk while I was in Vitebsk and the agency told me that all the ladies were from Vitebsk.
Now who is lieing to whom?
Once again this is abelarusbride.com included in the WHITE list of Jim (and reason why I selected them).
So I DID my homework but it wasn't enough. Apart from not going with an agency, what else or what more could I have done?

[facetrock]

  So the only girl that would meet you is the one that never got your into letter or photos. Is it possible you were trying to date out of your league? The girls you sent pics to, do you date women like them at home?

[sdt]

I have become a member of this forum only on June 9 in order to divulge what happens if you
use shady agencies with shoe string operations out of a garage. They do not really have what it takes to carry on an honest business. My goal is not to argue with other members of this forum like “facetrock” to whom I am ready to send the same pictures I have sent to “abelarusbride.com” if he would indicate me his private e-mail.
That “agency” does not have model type ladies and the one I met (30 years of age) was the youngest in my list. True, she did not see my letter of introduction and the photos but she asked me to have another meeting after the first and also if I wanted to spend the week end together in Minsk which I denied.
She was very attractive and probably she wouldn’t have done that if I had looked like Frankestein; but than again, all the facetrocks of the forum would than say that she would have done that with anybody regardless how good or bad he looked.
The truth of the matter is that because of the “agency’s “unethical way of conducting business I NEVER HAD A SHRED OF A CHANCE from the onset because I couldn’t meet anybody although I was assured long before my departure that all of them were available.
If not, they should have notified it to me BEFORE my departure and not WHEN I WAS ALREADY THERE.but this would have implied that they are honest.
My goal here is to achieve that as many as possible read what happened to me with that “agency” so that they think twice before embarking in such a risky endeavour.
Now, thinking back at that horrible trip I begin to understand details that I overlooked when I was there. Now I begin to understand why the interpreter tried to suggest me to spend more time with this one girl and why she mentioned that many clients after having met a beautiful lady no longer want to meet others. Now I begin to understand why the interpreter often repeated that she did not know any of the ladies.....
This is going to be my last post on this subject and since I am no longer going to pursue the idea
of finding a soulmate from the FSU this is probably going to be my last post period.
I still hope that many read my trip report and avoid the mistakes I have made.

[Lily]

sdt,

I read your TR and I really very sorry for your experience

Actually I don't see what wrong you did in your pursuit. Also I don't understand why whose 9 ladies were out of reach for the agency.

As far as the 'golden 1990xx' are concerned, I think that these days the women just go to the West themselves, and look for a good man right in their respective countries.

[Jumper]

sdt-

Thanks for sharing your story , it will help others.


I do feel you were taken advantage of and got involved in a poor agency.
and I can certainly understand deciding not to pursue relationships in the FSU..
for many reasons.

I hope the decision wasn't entirely made from the bad agency experience,as many successful couples had their share of false or bad starts before finding someone.

A different city ,different agency, or meeting women from your own contacts off dating sites ,  your experience could have been completely different.

Sadly it's certainly possible you could also have had similar..


 The only thing I feel you could have done differently is research the agency itself a bit more..
find out ,and talk directly  to , individuals that had used it and had good experiences.
if you can not find someone , best to simply avoid it.



Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

[ECR844Again]

SDT,

I saw you while you were in Vitebsk, and was surprised you didn't stick around. What you spent was chump change and even though my original user acct isn't working on the forum currently, I wanted to post here to let the members know I will post a TR on Vitebsk (I'm still there) and also perhaps a little more about this agency. You'll note there was an age gap between yourself and some of these ladies you met. Especially lady #1. You should note she looked a lot taller than you expected as a result of the 6-8" stiletto heels she was wearing. Her weight was probably closer to 120-125lbs and she was obviously fit so some of your estimations are a bit off.

I agree with some of the comments the OP made and others not so much. Either way I did my due diligence before using this agency and I couldn't find a single negative thing said about them so I gave them a go. More on my experiences in another thread and hopefully Dan and or Shadow or someone will be able sort out the tech glitch with my old user name (ECR844) so I can post it under that.

"SDT," understand what you spent is mere 'chump change' in this endeavor. The fact you couldn't or wouldn't adapt, improvise, and overcome your situational difficulties probably should tell you that you may indeed not be suited to this endeavor.

Out Here

[kievstar]

SDT, you mentioned your giving up after one trip.  International dating requires time.  Not many step up to the plate and hit a home run the first time.  But if you do not put the time and effort in more than likely poor results will occur.

[Jumper]

ECR-
the OP stated -
She was about 5.9 or more without heels    

not that it really matters , but if she's 5'5 in the profile ,that's a pretty significant difference
or he is incredibly bad at judging someones height ?

you seem to be there and have met her..

anyway Vitbsk seems a bit off the beaten path to  have  a couple RWD members to , did this agency do some serious advertising or emailing , i'm  just curious  how you and the OP found out about this agency.


As far as the OP needing to adapt and overcome .. i agree in the FSU this is often the case.

His experience though certainly seems that he was mislead ,and certainly received very little if anything for the money spent.