ML and Ukrainian Women.

[ML]

Give her some melatonin. About 9 mg; that should help quite a bit. You can find it in the vitamin aisle.

Thanks for tip.  I have used the melatonin before, but didn't help me.

Anyway, she was 100% better the next day and frisky like a 20 year old!!
So am very happy that that problem solved itself with just more rest.

She did the first supermarket bit today and getting used to where everything  is in kitchen, etc.

[ML]

Daily phone calls back to Mama; but short.
Mama constantly worries about the many bad things that are certain to happen to her gal here in USA.

A continued worry is that her baby (40 y.o.) will not get enough to eat.
This is pretty funny given that being over-slender is not generally thought of as being a serious epidemic in USA.

Anyway, I was getting a little peeeed about hearing about some of these worries, so the gal has agreed to stop telling me about these silly worries of her mother.

Mama has never had a PC or used the internet.  The gal left her PC with Mama, and grandson said he would eventually teach Mama how to use, get her hooked up to Internet, Skype, etc.  But Mama surprised everyone by saying: "I can and will learn all of this myself."  And I know she is a very sharp cookie, so I think it will happen.

[Faux Pas]

Daily phone calls back to Mama; but short.
Mama constantly worries about the many bad things that are certain to happen to her gal here in USA.

A continued worry is that her baby (40 y.o.) will not get enough to eat.
This is pretty funny given that being over-slender is not generally thought of as being a serious epidemic in USA.

Anyway, I was getting a little peeeed about hearing about some of these worries, so the gal has agreed to stop telling me about these silly worries of her mother.

Mama has never had a PC or used the internet.  The gal left her PC with Mama, and grandson said he would eventually teach Mama how to use, get her hooked up to Internet, Skype, etc.  But Mama surprised everyone by saying: "I can and will learn all of this myself."  And I know she is a very sharp cookie, so I think it will happen.

It's really not silly worries. They are very real for her mother. Embrace it and take them head on and address them. If you have a future with this lady you'll want to help soothe and keep mama happy. There's truth to the old cliche "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"

[ML]

Got the gal set up with her own checking account.  Some banks won't open accounts without social security number, which students can't get as they not authorized to work anyway.  The SS number really not required, even under the post 9/11 new laws, but the banks want it anyway.

But University told us of a couple of banks that will open accounts without the SS number, so got that done.  Will transfer the 40 Gs over to her account soon.

We have been testing out  cars, and she wants to get the Hyundai Elantra. Some very good deals on 2011s now as the 2012s coming.  Of course, once driven off the lot, the 2011 will be considered 2 years old, but that's what she decided.

Apparently UA drivers license good for only 60 days, so we got the study booklet today.  She already practicing driving one of my cars, so that part coming along OK.  She has the UA drivers license, but not much experience in driving.  She is happy I don't scream at her mistakes, as apparently the instructor did in UA a couple of years back.

The drivers license people also require SS number.  I asked  them how foreign students get license without SS number.  The procedure is:  Must go to SS office, apply, and get rejection letter, and take this rejection letter to license bureau.  What a 'Catch 22' solution !!

[ML]

It's really not silly worries. They are very real for her mother. Embrace it and take them head on and address them. If you have a future with this lady you'll want to help soothe and keep mama happy. There's truth to the old cliche "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"

Yes, I understand all of this.  But remember, I am not trying to woo this gal, nor did  I invite her here.  It was she who 'asked' to come and live with me while getting her MBA.

Yes, we are having a very good time and seem very compatible; but I don't like her mother and others thinking or insinuating I won't take care of her properly, when I wasn't even the one to initiate all of this.

Sort of like:  You sweet talked her into giving up her life in UA and coming to you . . . so now you make sure she gets enough to eat, etc.

I am like:  WTF.

[Gator]

MJ,
 
You sound indifferent if not cold about this woman.  Is this your internal defense at work? 
 
Surely she is more than a semen receptacle.  You would not have help her with her move (and excluded the possibility of other realtionships while residing at your place) if you did not feel something. 

[ML]

MJ,
 
You sound indifferent if not cold about this woman.  Is this your internal defense at work? 
 
Surely she is more than a semen receptacle.  You would not have help her with her move (and excluded the possibility of other realtionships while residing at your place) if you did not feel something.

You are way off base here.

I am not cold nor indifferent.

It's just that she initiated the move to come be with me; while her mother and others are acting like I conned her into coming and now they must make sure this man doesn't treat her badly by not feeding her enough etc.

Anyway the food part is silly as we are both gaining weight, so must watch that.  Finally got back to my routine of working out in my basement weight room, and she an eager participant, so we both plan to try to maintain our shape and health.

[Gator]

It's just that she initiated the move to come be with me.....

 
 
You have never revealed a romantic side, so I would say based on your posts you are closer to indifference than to affection.  Glad to know you are not indifferent.  I was not trying to bust your chops, and I am sure she did not have to twist your arm for long until you consented. 
 

....while her mother and others are acting like I conned her into coming and now they must make sure this man doesn't treat her badly by not feeding her enough etc.

Who knows what they are thinking unless you speak their language and have talked to them at length.  Their behavior seems normal.  Any good mama would worry about her daughter moving to a strange land.  Plus they probably miss her. 
 
Anyway, enjoy yourself.  We are jealous. 

[Dunecat]

Re an earlier post:  why does acknowledging a boyfriend in the US doom a tourist visa?  My girlfriend is in Ulyanovsk and has never traveled.  I'm trying to get her to Orlando, so would Disney World be a better visa reason than me?  Any advice much appreciated.

[ML]

The specific rules the US Embassy officer must follows states that they are to assume that all persons requesting vistors visa are actually intending to come to USA and stay permanently.  So the burden is on the applicant to try to convince the officer that they are not intending to come and stay permanently.

Existence of boyfriend in USA will NOT help the applicant show they are not intending to stay; but rather the opposite. 

I have posted the exact words from the US Embassy sites a couple of times before.

[Gator]

Dunecat,
 
When considering visa options, just follow these three guidelines:
 
1.  Any applicant is considered guilty of potential immigration fraud until the applicant proves herself innocent.
 
2.  Regulators are not pragmatic, so you can not assume a pragmatic reason is sufficient proof.   
 
3.  Administration of the regulations is similar to Italian administration of regulations.  Americans are normally free to do anything that is not prohibited by the regulations.  OTOH Italians can only do those things that are expressly allowed by regulations.  (so I am told  ) 

[SANDRO43]

Italians can only do those things that are expressly allowed by regulations.  (so I am told  )

Rubbish, we may be more regulated than in the US, but our codes do not include anything like the last of the Royal Navy's Articles of War (1757):

35. All other crimes not capital committed by any person or persons in the fleet, which are not mentioned in this act, or for which no punishment is hereby directed to be inflicted, shall be punished by the laws and customs in such cases used at sea.

[Dunecat]

Thanks very much, but that leaves a hitch.  Anna's incapable of falsehood, so what if she's asked a direct question about a boyfriend in the USA?  Also, what if she's not capable of manufacturing another story?  Oddly, we do intend to comply with the law, in both countries . . . but will the truth doom us?  Any ideas for options?

[Gator]

Sandro,
 
Great response.  You have been notably silent recently - so you have not been away but simply ignoring us.

[ML]

Help!!

My refrigerator and kitchen counter tops are being overtaken by containers and ingredients used to make Kefir and Syrnike cheese!!

[Faux Pas]

Help!!

My refrigerator and kitchen counter tops are being overtaken by containers and ingredients used to make Kefir and Syrnike cheese!!

Get use to it. I accuse my wife of manufacturing botulism and WMD 

[vwrw]

Alternatively,  send the cause of your discontent to us, regardless of whether the cause is the containers or the woman who puts them there.  We are lacking an inflow of FSU culture in our kitchen and will be happy to get some.

[JR]

ManLooking: shouldn't you change your name to ManFound

[Misha]

Get use to it. I accuse my wife of manufacturing botulism and WMD 

LOL! Me three 

[ML]

Gal spent all day yesterday at University orientation for International Students.  Came home beaming.  Couldn't believe how nice everyone was and all the services that were mentioned for students.

A jillion students from China, India and the Middle East.
I had gotten a list that showed 6 new students from Russia and 4 from Ukraine, but she didn't see them.

This afternoon we went to picnic for new international students.  Again she couldn't believe how well prepared and everything was and the diversity of the nationalities represented.  We moved from table to table and struck up conversations with a dozen or more students.

One young man from Nigeria told about preparing for Medical School followed by internship, residency, etc.  So I asked if he had finished one degree already in Nigeria.  He said:  "No, I will be a beginning freshman and just arrived in town this morning."  Wow, talk about planning out your life.  Said he was actually  interested in studying in Ukraine.  We told him about needing to learn Ukrainian language, and he said he was interested in doing that.  So my Gal taught him a few words.  When we prepared to move on to another table, he correctly repeated about 10 words including  dosvadanya.  We were impressed.

I spied one good looking gal wearing short frilly dress, and smoking.  So I said: There is a FSU gal for sure.  We went up to her and I asked her what country she was from.  France !!

My Gal spied another tall, slender, good looking gal wearing micro mini.  She sat at a table and within seconds was surrounded by 6 guys.  We agreed she must be from FSU.  So I went over and asked her what country she was from. France again !!

And our resident Frenchman is off in Dnipro !!!

[ML]

Several married posters have commented that it is sometimes hard (or tiring) to keep up with their younger FSU wives with respect to energy level, etc.

I am seeing that my Gal does have much more energy than I do; however it is not posing any problems for me or her.

She is content to to work at her speed in the yard, garden, housecleaning, etc., while I go about things in a more leisurely pace or maybe even show up for work in the yard much later than her while I finish the newspaper, etc.

Actually, I am quite happy that she has such energy as there is a lot to do with my quite large house and extensive property.

And she is not a nightclub person, so the issue will not arise that she wants to go dancing while I do not.

In fact, she is an early to bed person, so I can last longer into the night than she can.

In short, the fact she is more active than me during daytime hours hasn't caused any problems and I see none looming.

Perhaps others have comments as to how this difference in energy plays out in their individual situations.

[GQBlues]

Several married posters have commented that it is sometimes hard (or tiring) to keep up with their younger FSU wives with respect to energy level, etc......Perhaps others have comments as to how this difference in energy plays out in their individual situations.

Not in my marriage. My wife is not lazy by any means, but her daily living batteries aren't as charged as mine. Not recreationally, sports, or leisure activities.
 
We went to Manhattan a couple of years ago and drove down the Turnpike all the way to DC. Walking was our main goal as the sights, both in NY and DC required a whole lot of walking. We took breaks at her bidding.
 
I'm up just before 6 everyday, even on weekends. I'd play a full round of golf, walking, and would come home around 9-10 AM as she would be just waking up. We would either bike on the beach or play tennis...she'd be pooped by day's end, and I would still want to go out either dancing or go bowling with some friends. Or at least meet up with them for dinner, socialize or something. She's just not wired/charged in that way...Sometimes she'd be so tired she can't even have them come to us to play board games. She'd rather have a quiet evening with me streaming...I'm as hyper as pitbull. If I don't expend my energy during the day, I wreck havoc on humanity by 6 PM.
 
Maybe in a few more years...

[ML]

English lessons in full swing now.
Just finished my work of proofreading and correcting her first set of homework essays.  OMG . . . what a job!!  This task could lead to our first conflict.  Not that I don't want to do it . . . just that she is somewhat peeeed that she can't just write English in the same format as Ukrainian language.  Her emails to me were very well written, but when she tries to discuss and critique a story for homework . . . it is pretty awful English and virtually non-understandable meanings.

[Gator]

English lessons in full swing now.
Just finished my work of proofreading and correcting her first set of homework essays.  OMG . . . what a job!!  This task could lead to our first conflict.  Not that I don't want to do it . . . just that she is somewhat peeeed that she can't just write English in the same format as Ukrainian language.  Her emails to me were very well written, but when she tries to discuss and critique a story for homework . . . it is pretty awful English and virtually non-understandable meanings.

She is not peeeed; she is frustrated IMO.   She really needs your help. This woman means something to you, so I presume you really want to help her.   Thus, you will not have a conflict (other than demands on your time).
 
Did she pass TOEFL?  If not, is she enrolled in a transitional program:  mostly English studies and one class in a degree program with normal students?  My woman's daughter is doing the latter, as she is at  Level 3 proficiency. 
 
This takes time and patience.  Ain't love grand!

[ML]

The concept of 'Passing the TOEFL' is not quite correct because different programs have differing cut off scores for what they require.

She did not even take the TOEFL but will in December.
Right now she is enrolled in the Intensive English Program which involves 21 semester hours of class attendance at University each week.  The homework is just now getting started, but we have been warned it will build to enormous portions.

She has already been admitted to masters program, subject to getting at least the cut-off score (required by this program) on TOEFL.

I am quite willing to help much, but I was just commenting on her frustration with not being able to write in the free style that is common to Russian and Ukrainian.  Apparently you can put nouns, verbs, etc., anywhere in the sentence and it makes sense; but in English it doesn't work.

Her understanding of spoken English and her own spoken English is quite good.  And she wrote me many emails with very acceptable English. But when having to write about a topic she is not familiar with . . . that is where the atrocious wording comes out.