ML and Ukrainian Women.

[Boethius]

I didn't mean financially.

[ECOCKS]

Wow, who would have thought I would end up on the same side of an issue as ML and Billy?

Actually,  to each his own and for every controller there is a person who would like to be controlled.
 

Most of what you wrote I actually agreed with Olga, particularly that last sentence.

I'd add, "...or is in close enough agreement with their lifestyle that they anticipate that there would be no problem."

The woman doesn't seem to be in physical or economic forced servitude. No one is offering up any snippets indicating she's being "dominated" mentally or emotionally. If she doesn't like a home with rationed bread consumption (she does get a couple of slices a day it seems), she'll either leave or risk being thrown out for sneaking in a crust of wheat roll or an unauthorized BLT off-schedule.

[CanadaMan]

Is breaking bread grounds for divorce?
Just wonderin'.  Boethius?

[GQBlues]

Strange funny thread...
 
I suppose if she ever gets the pangs to sink her teeth on a warm, delicious, freshly baked loaf of bread, ML can compromise and instead get her one of these...
 
Off to the gym in your white shorts lovey... 

[BillyB]

I didn't mean financially.

 
The gal can drive to the store alone to get her fix of bread if she needs. Last week we talked about spanking and many of you thought it had devastating and long lasting effects on society. Now we're talking about a guy limiting bread intake which is controlling and can cause a lifetime of psychological damage a helpless woman who on her own free will sleeps with the guy in question. Should we create laws to prevent the behavior Manlooking has exhibited? Relax. There are people starving in war torn zones in the world. It seems many focus too much energy on nothing.

 
I read some more of this thread and Manlooking said she is stocking up the refrigerator and cupboards with  food. No mention of resistance on his part. He takes her to Niagara Falls and a 5 star hotel. He helps her with her homework. He and Gal walk often together and exercise together. He helped her open up her own bank account and trying to get her an American driver's license.

 
It seems she's free to come and go as she wishes and Manlooking is helping her more than some men help their own wives. In the end she may not want to marry him. Manlooking himself is not at the moment proposing marriage. They may live together for 2 or more years and never marry. They may walk away as friends and still appreciate their time together in that brief moment in their lives. Limiting bread in the house will not be the end of the world. I don't see a doomsday scenario here so let us go back to rescuing children who get spanked!

[Daveman]

The gal can drive to the store alone to get her fix of bread if she needs. Last week we talked about spanking and many of you thought it had devastating and long lasting effects on society. Now we're talking about a guy limiting bread intake which is controlling and can cause a lifetime of psychological damage a helpless woman who on her own free will sleeps with the guy in question. Should we create laws to prevent the behavior Manlooking has exhibited? Relax. There are people starving in war torn zones in the world. It seems many focus too much energy on nothing.

That's an assumption... we have not been presented with video evidence!

I read some more of this thread and Manlooking said she is stocking up the refrigerator and cupboards with  food. No mention of resistance on his part. He takes her to Niagara Falls and a 5 star hotel. He helps her with her homework. He and Gal walk often together and exercise together. He helped her open up her own bank account and trying to get her an American driver's license.

the scoundrel!!

It seems she's free to come and go as she wishes and Manlooking is helping her more than some men help their own wives. In the end she may not want to marry him. Manlooking himself is not at the moment proposing marriage. They may live together for 2 or more years and never marry. They may walk away as friends and still appreciate their time together in that brief moment in their lives. Limiting bread in the house will not be the end of the world. I don't see a doomsday scenario here so let us go back to rescuing children who get spanked!

I say we hide slices of bread and vid cams all around the house and yard... so it turns up in the strangest places.. they'll blame each other and the Yeast Wars will begin..  all captured on video for the new hit reality show "Gimmedagoddambread!"


I dunno gang... I just can't seem to take this one seriously.

[GQBlues]

...I read some more of this thread and Manlooking said she is stocking up the refrigerator and cupboards with  food. No mention of resistance on his part. He takes her to Niagara Falls and a 5 star hotel. He helps her with her homework. He and Gal walk often together and exercise together. He helped her open up her own bank account and trying to get her an American driver's license.....

Oh the dire sacrifices men make just to get laid. Spank me, ML. 

[ECOCKS]

Oh the dire sacrifices men make just to get laid. Spank me, ML. 

Spank?

Spanking is an abomination you monster! I bet you're a controlling SOB as well!

[Boethius]

Is breaking bread grounds for divorce?
Just wonderin'.  Boethius?

Sure.  If one is married.


You guys don't get it.  It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners.  The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."

[CanadaMan]

Sure.  If one is married.

You guys don't get it.

I get it.
I didn't think a smilie was really necessary for my post. 

[GQBlues]

Spank?

Spanking is an abomination you monster! I bet you're a controlling SOB as well!

 
Moi?!? No, but coach was...he used to say.."this is my gym and in my gym only my rules apply". Like silly ML, he always made sure we skimmed bread out of our daily diet, if not shun altogether. Something about slowing us down during the season. sez he doesn't care what we do during the off-season, but during the season - his rule!
 
 
In Cali, we have a burger joint called In-N-Out Burger, and there was a time they had an item on their menu called Protein Splash. Your usual burger concoction, grease and all, but without the buns. They just add a leaf or two of lettuce to help wrap that greased lump together. It's supposed to be 'better' for you, LOL.
 
 
Yah know, I was thinking, if you quickly thought of any cultural cuisine, think of any restaurant that doesn't serve you 'bread' before the meal, then consider the build of the general population of that culture...
 
 
But anyway, I digress, that was all back then and this is now. These days, my doctor is really the only one that tries to control me.
 
 
'You need to lay off red meat!' he says...is he nuts?!? Give up prime rib? I'd rather give up bread, man.
 
dunno. I just wondered if these two had a conversation, turned to an agreed to plan, that once she got here they'll work out together and try to follow a nutritional diet plan. Like what my silly coach did before...who knows.

[GoodOlBoy]

dunno. I just wondered if these two had a conversation, turned to an agreed to plan, that once she got here they'll work out together and try to follow a nutritional diet plan. Like what my silly coach did before...who knows.

GOB is more curious as to how the dildos "fit" into the big picture. 
 
GOB

[BillyB]

Is breaking bread grounds for divorce?
Just wonderin'.  Boethius?

Sure.  If one is married.


You guys don't get it.  It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners.  The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."

Boethius, no spouse or bg/gf should live in fear if their significant other threatens a breakup up over bread. Does your husband live with this fear and he always say "yes dear"?
 
You mention control. Guess what happens to relationships when one member is out of control and without displine? ML can't live with a big woman so his woman needs to be in control of her weight or their physical relationship will suffer. ML is also willing to take action to control his weight too. Sounds like a good plan for both parties and all they give up are some tasty calories.
 
You mention respect and consideration. Respect and consideration need to be run both ways. Gal can't be an individual in this relationship. There's no "I" in "Team". ML has a need that requires her to limit her intake of bread. It's her choice to respect and consider his request or hurt their relationship. In times like this, a man will understand how much he's worth to his woman. Bread has a history of being the defining factor in whether or not relationships make it or break it.
 
You mention attitude. How can you factor in ML's attitude pertaining to one issue, bread, and define him? Ridiculous. You can't ignore his attitude for the other things he's done for Gal. Many guys have dealt with women that think like you. They spend years doing good things for their woman building something meaningul but with one incident or misunderstanding, the woman throws it all away only to pursue a guy that will do everything her way. Those ladies are in luck. There are guys that are afraid to say "no". There's help. Look at magazine in the photo below.
 
Boethius, has your husband ever told you "no". If so, what did he say you can't have? Did you feel bitter about your desires getting refused? When my fiancee gets here, I'm going to get refused a lot of tasty junk foods. I don't interpret her attitude as being bad and controlling but good and caring. Some people see the glass half empty and are upset. Others see the glass half full and are happy.

[OlgaH]

dunno. I just wondered if these two had a conversation, turned to an agreed to plan, that once she got here they'll work out together and try to follow a nutritional diet plan. Like what my silly coach did before...who knows.

Maybe they had 

 She has adapted pretty well to keeping bread out of the house. 
 

 

Bread continues to be a little bit of a problem.  Gal is keeping stoic about  it, but could blow up any day.

I recently bought a loaf (12 grain most healthy type) strictly so we could have BLTs  (love those babies, and Gal is hooked on them now  too).  I took out 4 slices and then started putting the remainder, four slices at a time in freezer bags for later BLTs, one week at a time.  I had to wrestle a couple of slices away from Gal as she wanted to keep them out . . . for later in day.

We laughed a little over this struggle, but  I knew she was a little serious about it. 

And the below probably just a Freudian slip 

She is free to do that anytime she wants . . . in her own apartment or house.

[Boethius]

I get it.
I didn't think a smilie was really necessary for my post. 

Wasn't referring to you, C-Man.

[Boethius]

Billy, I refer to Ade and FP's posts directed to you in the past 24 hours.


You will never be even half the man my husband is.  And with over 25 years of married life, I certainly need no lessons on marriage or relationships from a man who is divorced and marrying a girl 4 years older than his son.

[OlgaH]

Guess what happens to relationships when one member is out of control and without displine?

Least of all I need in my life a partner who I need to control and discipline and least of all I need a partner who would control and discipline me  Why I would need a partner whose personality and life style I can not accept? Why I have to spend my short life trying to change him especially using force, control and discipline? 

Yes, I agree a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect... mutual respect for each other's individuality and authenticity and mutual accepting each other...

But people, of course, have different ideas of a healthy relationship... as for example a controller and his/her voluntarily submissive partner would have their own idea.


 

Respect and consideration need to be run both ways. Gal can't be an individual in this relationship. There's no "I" in "Team". ML has a need that requires her to limit her intake of bread. It's her choice to respect and consider his request or hurt their relationship. In times like this, a man will understand how much he's worth to his woman. Bread has a history of being the defining factor in whether or not relationships make it or break it.

I don't see any "both ways" in your post...  How about his choice to respect and consider a gal's wish? To show her how much she's worth to him without bread and with bread   

If a bread is a relationship beaker...  there is just no any relationship at all but an illusion.

[ML]

As much as I hate to disappoint . . . . .

I didn't see Gal this morning when she left  for school.  I was sleeping in after a long night of consulting work on the computer.

So when she returned late afternoon, I was stunned at how well she looked in Jeans and Pink sweater.

I said:  "WOW, what a beautiful girl.  And great ass and legs."

She replied: "I have you to thank for my ass and legs."

"How so," I asked.

"Our exercise programs and no bread," she replied with a smile.

And then she grabbed my  . . . .

Oh, but many of you would be shocked at that, so I won't tell.

[OlgaH]

When my fiancee gets here, I'm going to get refused a lot of tasty junk foods.

Billy, you even can not control you own eating habit, you wait for someone to fix it 

[ECOCKS]

As much as I hate to disappoint . . . . .

I didn't see Gal this morning when she left  for school.  I was sleeping in after a long night of consulting work on the computer.

So when she returned late afternoon, I was stunned at how well she looked in Jeans and Pink sweater.

I said:  "WOW, what a beautiful girl.  And great ass and legs."

She replied: "I have you to thank for my ass and legs."

"How so," I asked.

"Our exercise programs and no bread," she replied with a smile.

And then she grabbed my  . . . .

Oh, but many of you would be shocked at that, so I won't tell.

Sure.  If one is married.


You guys don't get it.  It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners.  The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."

...grabbed my belt and began spanking me!

You guys don't get it.  It is about the attitude and yes, it is control, in addition to lack of respect, lack of consideration, and lack of manners.  The response was not far removed from another I once read "If it doesn't work out after a few years, I can just ship her back."

I agree completely that "you guys don't get it."

I notice that, very conveniently, you didn't mention the shoes rules. My mother was insulted, humiliated even. It might have had something o do with her spitting on my wife. grabbing a steak knife and telling announcing she was going to kill that bitch. My father regards it as complete silliness and insists that he'll wear his shoes anywhere he wishes in his part of the house.

I have had people tell me to my face that they were insulted that I imply their home isn't clean if I don't visit a house with a cat.

Others tell me how stupid it is when I cannot breathe properly in their home due to the smoke which has soaked into the paint of the walls, the carpet and the drapes.

One person in life has told me not to bring a gun into their home, then been offended when I don't visit. Oddly, they come into my home and never have a word to say about the gun rack or the holstered weapon on my hip.

I know a couple who breast-fed their 5 year old publicly (maybe they did into his teens) and are confrontational if anyone even raises an eyebrow.

There are other similar "rules" in people's homes and lives which run the gamut of political, philosophical, sanitation, health, diet, the list is practically endless. How many of these couples do you consider to be in a "controlling/controlled" relationship based on your one-shot picture of their life?

No one has made anything remotely like a convincing presentation that ML is "controlling".

[BillyB]

 

Billy, I refer to Ade and FP's posts directed to you in the past 24 hours.


You will never be even half the man my husband is.  And with over 25 years of married life, I certainly need no lessons on marriage or relationships from a man who is divorced and marrying a girl 4 years older than his son.

Ever notice when people run out of substance to debate with, they go on attack?  Plan A of having a civil debate didn't work so strike package B kicked in. Save your above post because you're going to have to use it a lot on me and other divorcees. Your post has nothing to do with what is discussed and being 25 years married doesn't make you right on every subject. I can always find a person who's married longer that will disagree with you.

 
I'm sure your husband has told you "no" in the past. That is why I asked. After my questions, you just realize you can't call ML a control freak without calling your husband the same.
 

Least of all I need in my life a partner who I need to control and discipline and least of all I need a partner who would control and discipline me  Why I would need a partner whose personality and life style I can not accept? Why I have to spend my short life trying to change him especially using force, control and discipline? 

Yes, I agree a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect... mutual respect for each other's individuality and authenticity and mutual accepting each other...

 
I've said in the past a woman should marry a man she respects learn from. That means she agrees with him on most issues and believe he's smarter. She will more likely than not accept her man's decision if he's allowed to make one. A man can marry a stupid woman and the marriage can still be a success but a woman should never marry a man dumber than her. It's destined to fail. ML and Gal are not at the point of getting married so currently they will feel each other out. They will decide what they can or can't accept in each other.

 
There are different personalities and characters among people. I'm sure most women want a man who is dominant and a leader. A man who is a somebody. Most women would prefer a man who is a CEO or general over a man who is a janitor or lowly private. If a woman finds a man who is successful and/or a leader, one of the worst things she can do is cut his balls off everyday when he comes home. He has a different mentality and he needs to be handled differently. A woman can be a big part of her man's success or bring him down.  I don't know what kind of man ML is but if his Gal admires him for many of his qualities, she should submit to ML's simple request to limit her bread intake for the benefit of a better relationship.
 

And then she grabbed my  . . . .

For us dummies, can you clarify what she grabbed? I'm taking notes. I now understand Daveman about the importance of video evidence. It's for educational purposes.
 
 

[Boethius]

Ed, if your mother was insulted by the shoe rule, IMHO, your wife should have changed it for your mother.  Your mother is your mother, and deserves respect as such, from both you and your wife.  Your mother should be immune from any house rules that are not injurious of the home (i.e. cause physical damage, rather than inconvenience), or injurious to her.
 
 
 
Yes Billy, you posted an attack and received the only response you deserve.  You're all theory, and you have chosen an inexperienced virgin teen, rather than a woman, for fairly obvious reasons.
 
 
Unlike your potential bride, I am not a child.  I married an equal.  My husband has never said "no" to me because he respects me as an individual.  Similarly, I have never said no to him.  Our thinking has always been in building a family life together.  We love and respect each other, and we view one another as equals.  We have never argued, except about how to discipline our children, and we compromised on that. 
 
My husband has never eaten junk food.  He is a vegetarian teetotaler.  He doesn't even eat fish or eggs.  He respects my choice not to choose vegetarianism.  His "my body is my temple" attitude is a good natured joke among my siblings.
 
Until the kids were young, we never had candy or any junk food in our home.  Even now, we don't have much of it, as the kids don't need it.  But, they're teens, and they need to be like those around them.  We rarely have alcohol in our home, other than keeping a few bottles of wine and a half dozen beer for guests who may pop in.  My husband's only vices are very fine teas, which I order for him from India, and fishing.

[Ade]

  Ever notice when people run out of substance to debate with, they go on attack? 
 

Dude, have you any idea how impossible it is to actually debate anything with you? You are Mr Strawman incarnate and if your comprehension skills are really as awful as you show in your threads (rather than just plain trolling), I am not surprised in the slightest that you think Mother-of-A is giving you sex tips to use on her teen daughter (when she is in all likelihood asking you if you want parsley as a garnish).

I call the need to debate you the rubber wall syndrome and it really is like bouncing your head off of a solid rubber wall time and again. Even this post is entirely pointless.

[ECOCKS]

Ed, if your mother was insulted by the shoe rule, IMHO, your wife should have changed it for your mother.  Your mother is your mother, and deserves respect as such, from both you and your wife.  Your mother should be immune from any house rules that are not injurious of the home (i.e. cause physical damage, rather than inconvenience), or injurious to her.

Hmmm, that would be despite the fact that before we even set foot on the North American continent we had discussed that rule would be a deal-breaker on moving back? Easy to see why you think Americans should just re-write their Constitution whenever the mood hits any citizen.....

I know, I know....we're "controlling" and unreasonable to have clearly presented important things for our home-life and future to the others who asked us to join in with them.

Well, guess that settles it then. Makes no difference if you explicitly agree to accept someone's eccentricities only to be able to label them as mentally disturbed when you determine you can't live with your commitment.

ML, you're a controlling SOB.

I'm a controlling SOB.

FSUW (and those Japanese women too) are controlling "B-----s" about the shoe thing.

As for anyone who insists on something like a light and airy minimalist style for their home, well they're unreasonable and, of course, "controlling" if their potential partner wants mahogany and blackout drapes.

Anyone who has any "rule" about their life that covers anyone else is a controlling B---h or B-----d.

All this discussion and it was that simple once someone who knew better than everyone else set us all straight.

Good to know.

This probably means that whole "under duress" thing is now replaced by "change your mind whenever you feel like it, you can just blame it on the other guy's mental quirks" test.

[Boethius]

Imposing your will on others over something as insignificant as bread in the house, or wearing shoes, or having the odd candy bar is wrong.  These are all insignificant in the grand scheme of life. 

I have the same no shoes rule in my house.  It's really for me, and the kids.  My husband breaks it from time to time, something he didn't do in the FSU.  I gently remind him we don't wear shoes in the house, but I don't make a federal case out of it.  My parents break it, which is unusual, as I grew up with that rule, but, I say nothing, out of respect for them as my parents.  If my MIL had broken it, I would not have said a thing either, as I respect her as the mother of my husband, and she raised a fabulous son for me.