Au pair... or not?

[Kuna]

My wife will look at returning to study next year and we're talking about how she'll manage study, two children, our home and me.   (Best to be honest huh - I don't want to be missing out!) 

Anyway,  we are going back to Ukraine again in a few weeks and are considering "interviewing" for an Au pair while there.  I've already had a look at visa issues for either formal employment visas, or something more informal like a friend coming for extended holiday.

Having a family member with us for 12 months isn't relaly an option,  but I was wondering if anyone else had done this with a friend or friend of friend?  (My wife is thinking of one or two of her friends mothers,  a neighbour,  a friend of her mothers', etc so it's someone we know)

We had considered a friend but most of my wifes close friends have careers and wouldn't be inclined to such a long break, or either have partners, husbands and/or  children anyway.

Also check the Au pair sites but the new Oz Government's industrial relationship laws put too much risk on employers, therefore us thinking about a more private arrangement.

Of course there are dozens of considerations.  Prefer not someone young, prefer someone who's raised their children, definitely Russian speaking,  etc etc.  What else woudl you consider?

Money isn't the issue,  we understand the minimum wage that will have to be paid,  but how did you find an extra adult fitted into your home,  and what advice would you give?

I might create a new post to describe what we're thinking.

[I/O]

Kuna: I'd really implore you to avoid anyone connected in any way with family or friends. Every detail of your lives will be conducted home in some form or another, it will be sifted, twisted and returned to your family connections in a different form.

The ONLY family connections I'll have here longer term are the closest of the close. I haven't had a bad experience thus far mind you but I have certainly seen the potential for it. We have had a steady stream of visitors over the last 3 years and without exception, "something" has come back which required correction. I wouldn't like to see your nearest and dearest offended and upset by this sort of thing.

My suggestion is going to Bne Back Packers. Relatives of ours have a business where the types of employees you are seeking are required. They have been very specific with their requirements and it has worked rather well. Several were Russian fluent (Mrs met a couple of them). The advantage is they are here and they (You also) have viable options if something goes wrong and you wish to terminate the arrangement.

[Kuna]

Interesting perspective I/O...

I am inclined to avoid the backpackers because that was a... ummm....  I did the "backpacker thing" while single and that "culture" isn't something I'd like to invite into my home.  Maybe I just met the "irresponsible" ones though?     

We've thought about the many Russian students here now...  but figured they may just be as time poor as Mrs Kuna with their study.

We're looking for someone to live in and help out mostly with the kids,  but to also to ease the burden generally on Mrs while she throws herself into study.

Lots of thinking to do...

[I/O]

I am inclined to avoid the backpackers because that was a... ummm.... 

I would've been with you prior to meeting some I have met recently. I've been really surprised, really. Anyway, just a suggestion. BTW there are a few Russian exchange students here at USQ from time to time. A couple of them have become friendly with Mrs I/O. I'll put out some subtle feelers...................

[Kuna]

I would've been with you prior to meeting some I have met recently. I've been really surprised, really. Anyway, just a suggestion. BTW there are a few Russian exchange students here at USQ from time to time. A couple of them have become friendly with Mrs I/O. I'll put out some subtle feelers...................

Cheers!

[ECOCKS]

I don't know the Aussie system but why not just go the regular way of contacting an au pair agency and exercising the highest level of selectivity in your interview process?

I know it seems like doing it yourself is the logical thing to do, You're going back on a trip anyway and could "interview" without any big time inconvenience, you trust people you know and the thought of family or friends around your children is comforting. However, in our system you'd have to run this like a game in order to preselect your au pair and risk having a problem with your equivalent of CIS.

IF you want to sponsor a relative for immigration with the understanding that they'll be somewhat a part of your nuclear family when they arrive, that seems workable as well.

[Kuna]

I don't know the Aussie system but why not just go the regular way of contacting an au pair agency and exercising the highest level of selectivity in your interview process?

I know it seems like doing it yourself is the logical thing to do, You're going back on a trip anyway and could "interview" without any big time inconvenience, you trust people you know and the thought of family or friends around your children is comforting. However, in our system you'd have to run this like a game in order to preselect your au pair and risk having a problem with your equivalent of CIS.

IF you want to sponsor a relative for immigration with the understanding that they'll be somewhat a part of your nuclear family when they arrive, that seems workable as well.

ecocks,

I've checked out a few of the online agencies found most looking for roles are young, or very young, and we have some concerns about that.

This will give you an idea of how warped and twisted my mind is...        After seeing the trouble most (if not all) men get into with young RW,  I just shudder to think we would then expect the same type of young RW to be responsible enough to look after our children for 12 months.

We have a lot of thinking and talking to do...  I'm really not sure which approach is best,  but appreciate you taking the time to share some thoughts.


Oh,  a relative immigrating isn't an option as Babushka lives with my BIL and SIL in Moscow...  and annual visits are plenty for us...        There's no other real family options either.

I don't think visa's would be a big issue. We've had enough interaction with the Embassy to date and they appear to give very good service so far.  We've had one or two problems but ample assistance expediting our requests.




Oh, final thought...

Going through the au pair sites it's obvious the scum of the MOB world are also infiltrating the Au pair world.  The number of girls who (sadly) have to say "Single Fathers, please do not send me naked photos and suggestions for marriage because I only want work as Au pair" is disappointing.

[Aloe]

There are strict limits on who is eligible to become au pair.

    *   Be willing to do some house-work
    * Commit with the hosting family during the time agreed (from 6 to 12 mths)
    * Have Childcare experience (can include babysitting, paid or voluntary work)
      (Formal childcare work is not required)
    * Provide childcare references
    * Be eligible for a working holiday visa or student visa (see which countries are permitted)
    * Be between 18 and 30 years old

[ECOCKS]

Kuna:

Check your country's regulations on au pairs. If they are like ours, an au pair cannot be older than 26, set working conditions, along with a minimum wage and educational commitments during the limited time period they can work in-country.

Good Luck.

[Gator]

Whatever you do, don't allow a beautiful young sweetie to enter your house.  T-R-O-U-B-L-E, and it was my wife's idea.  And trouble takes multiple forms.   

[Kuna]

The age limits would explain the young ages of the girls (and guys) seeking roles...  and yes Gator,  I hear ya!   

Looking like this will be more difficult than expected... or maybe the family friend option will be the only option. ???

[SFandEE]

Whatever you do, don't allow a beautiful young sweetie to enter your house.  T-R-O-U-B-L-E, and it was my wife's idea.  And trouble takes multiple forms.   

Ma-a-a-a-n--10 foot pole, 10 foot pole.

[Kuna]

Ma-a-a-a-n--10 foot pole, 10 foot pole.

or... Big sharp knife... big sharp knife...

kidding about that.

The main consideration we've got (I've got) about a "young thing" coming into the house if the maturity and stability.

Yes I know gentlemen,  early-twenty yr old Russian girls are MUCH more mature than girls in the west... and yes every man ever joining RWD does look young for his age.

 

[Shadow]

The main consideration we've got (I've got) about a "young thing" coming into the house if the maturity and stability.

Your maturity and stability or that of the au-pair ?  :evil:

[ECOCKS]

Re: Family Friend

How will you get a "family friend" in for a year or so without Immigration paperwork or at least work permit status?

In the US I could bring my brother-in-law's 32 yo. fiance over to be a domestic only if I sponsored her through the Immigration process. Then the problem would be that she would probably rather be working at a real job. She's a technical land surveyor for the government and would be able to get with government or one of the energy companies in most any sort of economy.

I think this is one reason the foreign au pair market is traditionally so young since most are/were college students.

[Aloe]

Re: Family Friend

How will you get a "family friend" in for a year or so without Immigration paperwork or at least work permit status?

In the US I could bring my brother-in-law's 32 yo. fiance over to be a domestic only if I sponsored her through the Immigration process. Then the problem would be that she would probably rather be working at a real job. She's a technical land surveyor for the government and would be able to get with government or one of the energy companies in most any sort of economy.

I think this is one reason the foreign au pair market is traditionally so young since most are/were college students.

they are young, cuz they wont let you apply for the american au pair visa if you are over 26

[Kuna]

Re: Family Friend

How will you get a "family friend" in for a year or so without Immigration paperwork or at least work permit status?

In the US I could bring my brother-in-law's 32 yo. fiance over to be a domestic only if I sponsored her through the Immigration process. Then the problem would be that she would probably rather be working at a real job. She's a technical land surveyor for the government and would be able to get with government or one of the energy companies in most any sort of economy.

I think this is one reason the foreign au pair market is traditionally so young since most are/were college students.

I think the Australian Embassy is worlds apart from the US Embassy in terms of flexibility and applying reasonable decision making around visas etc.

I don't know about a single trip for one year but I'd be very confident we could get a tourist or private visa for six months...  the visa is actually not a huge concern for me as I have had some excellent dialog and assistance from the Embassy on a number of matters so far and have always been very happy with their responsiveness.

If it were a family member we'd be honest and make it clear they are here for a holiday with the added benefit of being able to help my wife out while the children are young, and as she's re-starting study.

One thought behind finding an older lady (45+ is that she may be less likely to be in a professional role and may be in a position for a bit of a port-child raising adventure.

My wife knows one lady (neighbour) who she thinks would be great... but we're still trying to get our heads around what it would be like with the extra adult around ALL the time.

[ECOCKS]

Yeah, we could get a relative in for six months on tourist visa as well but I thought you wanted them longer than that.

The Aussies I know seemed pretty hot at the Immigration and Visa system much as the Brits, Canadians and Americans. I remember the blithe assurances that visas were forthcoming without a hitch frm so many, followed months later by pub sessions where they drowned their sorrows in a pint or two or...six.

Perk up though, somewhere there's a nanya for your little one.

[Kuna]

Yeah, we could get a relative in for six months on tourist visa as well but I thought you wanted them longer than that.

The Aussies I know seemed pretty hot at the Immigration and Visa system much as the Brits, Canadians and Americans. I remember the blithe assurances that visas were forthcoming without a hitch frm so many, followed months later by pub sessions where they drowned their sorrows in a pint or two or...six.

Perk up though, somewhere there's a nanya for your little one.

My wife's Prospective Marriage Visa (Fiance Visa) was processed in under 2 weeks and we had a tourist visa issued in 2 days for Babushka once... (and an apology for making her cry.)  I dare not pontificate on the reasons why we've had a good run,  but before we made any extended visa applicaiton I would be contacting someone there for "advice" and "guidance".

If worst came to worst the airfares are only a few grand lately.

[I/O]

Ed, I know Kuna a little and I know his thoroughness with documentation (which is the key to the Au immigration system), I also know our (relevant) embassy staff habits well enough to be quite confident of an outcome.

Kuna, one thought if you go down the family or friends road, particularly an older one (and I think that's not a bad idea as we may well do something similar ourselves early next year), is a 12 months multi entry visitor visa which may require a chest X-ray as an addition.

Under some circumstances they issue a 12 months ME visitor visa with 6 months maximum stay. if you read the fine print, it states (very clearly) the holder must leave the country within 6 months but it states no more, especially it doesn't state a time lag before return.

What I can tell you, because we've done it, if the holder leaves the country, they have complied, even if they do land in Aukland 3 hours later, do not leave the immigration zone and return to Aus on the next flight. I didn't even drive home, dropped said person at Bne international, just had time to drive to the coast for a swim, relax a while as it were and collected them from Bne international later that evening. Said person remarked the immigration officer did smile when examining the passport. This "process" clearly was not unique. I did discuss it with immigration prior and they refused to give me a "yes" you can do that but confirmed there was no specific time lag required.

As for an extra adult around full time, based on my experience, it depends entirely on who it is.   

[Kuna]

Excellent input on the Multi Entry Visa I/O...  I'd heard of it but totally forgot about it as an option.

Now THAT is why I still visit here form time to time...