Russian dating is frustrating!!!

[Aussielion]

Man, this experience tests your patience.

[BillyB]

Man, this experience tests your patience.

What happened? It can be frustrating dating anywhere. Don't expect the first few woman you date to be the diamond in the rough.

[Aussielion]

The whole mine is turning out to have Fools Gold . It is just frustrating that the few who I've written to are just not willing to write more than 2 letters or are not willing to chat and ignore you when they are online.

[Rina_G]

please don't wondering about it
you really have to be patience
when my hands lie down I always said myself - it's just one step to win
don't mark time on your end of looking for and you'll get everything quickly
Nobody takes mine from me so this women weren't yours
look for and you'll find
good luck Aussielion

[Aussielion]

It is a hard way to meet people. I understand it from both sides though. Thanks for the encouragement Rina. I will keep looking but  it is a hard slog.

[Aussielion]

One I've been communicating with since February claims to like my text messages but says she can't send messages because her phone is haviing technical difficulties.
All seems to be one excuse after another.

[Rina_G]

It is a hard way to meet people. I understand it from both sides though. Thanks for the encouragement Rina. I will keep looking but  it is a hard slog.

never say - hard and all will be easy for you
I got the same advices from wise men here and keep it all in mind for moment of weak.
yes it needs a time - be strong
two letters it's really nothing for dissapointings.
tell them thanks that they didn't stole your time and hope. 
just know -  SHE looks for you already too
 

[Aussielion]

There is one i've been writing to since February though. She organised for me to have a skype chat with her. I couldn't download the application though because I've applied for a new broadband plan, so im using dial-up for a short time. She basically said she could only talk on skype and didn't show up at the time we organised to chat. I phoned her and she sounded pretty displeased with my phone call and said she was working.
She emailed me from an internet cafe after her work and explained that she could only skype. I guess Im just upset about her demeanour from the phone call.

[Jumper]

well-
sometimes the excuses are valid , sometimes they are just excuses.

a. she *may* be paying for both incoming and sending international sms's .
b. she *may* really have problem sending ,, i have known RW that tried to send 8 times and paid for all 8 attempts ..but one sms gets thru.. if on a tight budget that can start to ad up, or simpy be frustratinf especially dependent on if they thin kyou wil lever see them/ or visit.


c. they often get a few guys willing to trade emails and sms text.. it doesnt show them real interest on the mans  part  most of the time ..
and most think you will never ever visit anyway ,so its often difficult  to get real interest
or real emotional investment on thier part .. and for the most part they are correct to assume you will never see "them"

(dont take that personally , i just mean any random RW , has poor odds that a foregn guy she is exhanging emails with will visit.they often do not really truely believe even when you have a plane ticket ,they might believe when they se you in person ,maybe)



My advise,
anyone you have real interest in move quickly to getting as number and calling or skype.
it sends at least  a small message you are interested and a bit more serious ,,
and you should have talks about "if" you click a bit, when EXACTLY it is that you would go visit.


so if intersted inthem , then get on with a real phone conversation quickly , even if her english is bad,, if you need three way call for translation ,,
do it , you might be shocked at how much more interested they then seem in you ..!


IMHO-anyone you communicated with since February . you should be talking regulary on the phone or by email.. and planing to meet by now ..

if it has not  advanced to that ,, there probably a good reason why?
 either you don't have enough interest ,or she hasn't enough .
 

basically don't chase your tail or get frustrated,
 if you are getting a lot of dead ends ,
then look at your own fundamentals of whom you are contacting.. are they realisticly someone that would be insterested.? if so great..
then look into your level of interest in them.
have you clearly shown you are very interested, if so,  by action (not words they mean next to  nothing)  
and she hasn't reciprocrated ,move on.


maybe i'm mistaken ,
but  i've never had a RW interested in me,
that din't make a real effort to contact me, or want me to call daily.
but they did expect me to show genuine interest first,and that meant more than some emails and text messages..



overall you cant avoid  the dead ends ,but if having an unusual amount ,,
don't repeat what ever it is you're doing ,.
look at revising it ..

it should be obvious ,but the easiest way to raise a RW's (any womans) interest .is to show serious intentions of visitng and serious interest in her.

its the same for yourself ? you typically ramp up your own level of communication with some woman who really shows genuine interest in you ..

so if you are not getting the response you want , it just "might" be that you arent sending a clear enough message of your interest in them..

its worth a try ?

[Jooky]

Aussie, what sites are you using to meet women?

Why bother pursuing a woman who was displeased when you phone her? My advice: drop this one and move on.

[Jumper]

There is one i've been writing to since February though. She organised for me to have a skype chat with her. I couldn't download the application though because I've applied for a new broadband plan, so im using dial-up for a short time. She basically said she could only talk on skype and didn't show up at the time we organised to chat. I phoned her and she sounded pretty displeased with my phone call and said she was working.
She emailed me from an internet cafe after her work and explained that she could only skype. I guess Im just upset about her demeanour from the phone call.

she dint show up? or you couldnt download skype so it wouldnt have mattered?
. even i'm confused !!
maybe she was too?

if you called at work ,, i can understand she might not be able to talk to you .

after  she them emailed you but said only skype ,,
 which is a bit odd as i'd expect her to tell you a good time to call..
but if she has skype and wants to use that .. its odd its taken since feb to sit up a chat..

anyway good luck ,
it seems she simply isnt that interested and it might be best to move on .

in any case dont get frustrated ..
simply dont worry about it ?
 set up another skype when its possible for you both. .and see what happens , if she misses  again ,, you have your answer ,if not youll learn a bit more..

in the meantime i'd start contracting someone who seems more interested..
within three months if you both like each other you should not only know when the best time to call or skype is ,but looking forward to those times.. and planning a meeting if not already met..

i think the days of long correspondence is limited to very specific personality types..


overall this will indeed test your patience, if you think it does at the initial stages, you have not begun to see the level of pateince you will need

[ML]

You will increase your chance for frustration if you focus only on one woman or a few.  It is a numbers game.  Contact hundreds.  Sort them through your screen.  Then wait for those who are really interested in you to rise to the top.  There are dozens out there who are good for you.  You just need to start large.

Don't waste your time on those who are not really interested in you or who seemingly have a thousand and one excuses.  Time is too precious and life is too short.

[Sculpto]

Aussie...

You gotta relax for sure dude.  One thing is for sure.. you are communicating that anxiety to whoever your corresponding with.  I felt it reading your posts.. I bet everyone did.

So, let me point out a couple things please.. one.. you are unhappy with a girl that doesn't send you texts because she claims to have phone problems.  Then in your next post you explain how you are not happy with someone who was short with you on the phone because you called her during work time when you were supposed to communicate with her on skype but you didn't show up because of your dialup/broadband issues. 

So, you think the text/sms girl is making excuses.  What do you think the skype thinks about your excuse?  And, I know I personally get crazy if someone calls me during my work hours.. she contacted you afterwards.. thats enough to know that you didn't blow it, yet...

You really need to relax.

On Tuesday I will meet a lady I have communicated with for six months.  I have not had even one sms message from her in all this time.  I don't even call her very often.  Why?  She lives in a relatively remote part of Russia and for her to make an international sms is expensive.  And then.. we discovered the hard way that she is being charged roaming charges when I call her!  I thought it was a lie and I asked her which phone service she used.  She told me.. I checked their site from her city and sure enough.. roaming charges for incoming international calls.. its expensive.. how could I ask her to spend more to receive my calls than I was making them?  She makes $300 a month +-.. its totally not fair to expect her to spend for that and she would be 100% offended if I offered to pay for those calls.  I hinted at it and saw that I better not offer.  But she sends me emails and we have chats almost every day.. sometimes it is at great effort on her part to communicate with me.

So, my point is.. you really need to relax.  Don't put so much stock into online communications.  Get your money together and start planning a trip and once you have a ticket in your hand then send out TONS of into letters and make concrete plans to meet.

If you think you are frustrated.. I can tell you most of the ladies are 100 times more frustrated with keyboard Romeos that never show up.  Get on the plane!

[OlgaH]

"Time is too precious and life is too short. Let's finish the business and have a fun. Next one..." said an executioner waving his ax.

Sorry for off topic. Just a lyrical digression.

[BillyB]

It is just frustrating that the few who I've written to are just not willing to write more than 2 letters or are not willing to chat and ignore you when they are online.

Do you understand how motivated and happy you are to communicate with certain women and wish to be in their lives? There are some women that may be happy to communicate with you and wish to be in your life too. If you give up, you probably won't find her and she's not going to come knocking on your door if you sit at home.

Before I'd get serious with any woman, she must show she is absolutely thrilled to be with me and thinks highly of me. The gal I'm visiting in Kiev next month is happy to write me and as time progresses, she writes more and more, not less in the 7 months we've been corresponding. She is happy to talk to me on the phone. She thanks me for my letters to her and apologizes if she misses writing me for just one day due to internet issues or studying for an exam.

Stay focused on the kind of lady that will bring joy into your life and you both are happy and look forward to everyday communications. I've read a number of guys over the years complain about the lack of communication efforts of some RW. They don't say it but I suspect they are unhappy the RW doesn't give them the same effort they give. They may wonder if she's busy writing 50 other men and since they can't get hold of their RW every Friday or Saturday night, they suspect she is banging boyfriend #3 or #4. There are girls out there that will not give you sleepless nights.

[Blues Fairy]

says she can't send messages because her phone is haviing technical difficulties.  All seems to be one excuse after another.

I couldn't send text messages to my fiance because of difference of networks. 

She emailed me from an internet cafe after her work and explained that she could only skype. I guess Im just upset about her demeanour from the phone call.

Has it never occurred to you that receiving non-work-related calls at work might indeed be very inconvenient?  Skyping, on the other hand, does not involve talking out loud. 

With such demanding and whiny attitude, I doubt you'll find many girls who will stand you for long. 

[camachinist]

OP, in this day of modern technology, relatively open borders, and cheap airfares, you're a number of months behind where you should already be, that being in-country a couple times. The best way to grow a relationship and/or determine a potential is face-to-face. Everything else is just a means to get to that point. Good luck

[BC]

Instant satisfaction.. wen it comes to relationships a dream and a curse.

[ML]

Skyping, on the other hand, does not involve talking out loud. 

Actually Skype is specifically designed for talking out loud.  That is 95 percent of volume.  Text messaging on Skype is mostly an afterthought, since the parties can actually talk on Skype.

[camachinist]

Yeah, I use Skype with my laptop and a headset just like a phone when I'm traveling overseas. People can call my cell in Cali and my computer will ring in Thailand and we talk just like being down the street. I've never used Skype's text features, yet.

[Sculpto]

skype is versatile and can be used as pure instant message, voice only, voice and video and conference.  If I was at work.. I could have skype open because it is a legitimate business communication tool, and, be able to carry on short personal conversations as well.. I wouldn't feel as comfortable to do that with yahoo or icq even though they are essentially the same tool.

btw.. icq is being installed as the default chat interface on MTC and Beeline smart phones.  Most of my communication with my friend in the last two months have been via icq on her phone.

[I/O]

Well Younglion, you can start with a list of 50 000 if it pleases you as advised but if you don't have a clue what you are looking for the result will be the same as we have seen demonstrated by more than a few over the past few years here who vehemently advocate that policy. Get over there for a look around, understand (a little) the world in which real people live in Russia or Ukraine and when you look at profiles after that, it is a watershed, you see the wheat or chaff almost immediately for the most part.

You certainly need to get your technology conduits sorted out before setting up meetings, as in above, IMO, you're placing the cart way before the horse. That said, rarely did I call any lady, even when she was a work, where I didn't sense delight or at very least some satisfaction, even if she did articulate she was at work and we needed to delay any conversation until later. Nevertheless, catch a clue, look at a map and check the time zones, even a dumbarse like me could figure out roughly when was a good time to call.

Very rarely are sms facilities (Service Providers) in Russia and or Ukraine not compatible with the Australian service providers. I may have struck one in more than 7 years. What you will find at times is anything up to and hour delay between transmission from some of the Uki providers.

From what you have written and based on my experience, I think you are chasing agency employees and possibly scammers. This caper is frustrating but it is not hard unless you are expecting to sit home and "order in" so to say.

Bottom line is, I don't know if you are whining as mentioned, I don't think building a bigger list is going to help, I don't think trying to second guess who is who in the zoo (with your experience) is productive but I do think if you continue to try to run this show from your PC it will be a crap shoot.

[Sculpto]

if you continue to try to run this show from your PC it will be a crap shoot.

[Stirlitz]

Man, this experience tests your patience.

Yeah. I have a friend who shares this view. He says: every time he confesses to being married they all walk away How can you date then?

[neo]

rent an apartment in your city of choice for 3 months, go and live there, make some friends, meet the right girl in the supermarket. asking to sit by the womens toilets in a cafe/resteraunt always helps.