Using a Private Investigator

[Tag-n-bag]

i have noticed a few websites for private investigators in Russia and the Ukriane where most of their income seems to come from men who have met an RW through an agency and are doing a little due diligence. If these guys are for real, then it's a smart idea if you ask me. The PI I hired for my divorce proved invaluable.

I was wondering if anyone here has actually used a PI in Russia or the Ukraine before and what the results may have been. Also, when would you pull the trigger on hiring a PI?
 

[I/O]

Another new and exotic way to divest oneslf of ones wealth when the old ones worked just fine.

[viking]

If you are so unsure about an RW that you would consider hiring  PI to track her around..its time for you to move on.

[brad5959]

why are you thinking about a PI when you have not even met any women over there yet??  go meet some women first!!  you can usually tell about the woman yourself if you just use your common sense.

[Shadow]

While things are improving, it is much harder to track records in the FSU as in the US or Europe. There for any PI who does a $50 background check is just taking your money and flipping a coin on which answer to give, sometimes obvious from your correspondence or the number of requests people make for that person.

There are real PI's in the FSU but they have to obey strict laws. They must be registered, and before engaging them you should always get a copy of their business license to ensure you are dealing with a real PI. No license = no PI.

If you do engage them, the only way they can give a reliable report is by visiting the place and area where the woman lives and use the babushka network or own observation. As you might understand, even at FSU salaries this is not a cheap matter and will in travel costs and time spent set you back $1000 to $2000 easily.

Basicly I would go with the advise of viking, and if you have that amount of money to burn on investiagtion, you might wat to do them yourself.... making a trip.

[Chillidog]

If you are so unsure about an RW that you would consider hiring  PI to track her around..its time for you to move on.

I agree if I were that concerned with an FSU woman I had met or was going to meet.  to think about getting a "PI" involved I would either find someone else to meet. Or if I had already met the woman and already had begun a relationship with her and something started me to think of getting a "PI" involved, I would "cut my losses" and begin anew

 no reason to throw "good money at bad"

[ECOCKS]

There are PI's. Personally, I would expect you are at least as likely to be ripped off by them as by the gals. You need to consider your language challenge in communicating with them as well.

When would I pull the trigger and engage one? Never. You should be building a relationship over 3-4 visits and there is simply no reason or practical way to have her shadowed 24/7 simply for your peace of mind. Strangers asking questions of her friends, family or coworkers are likely to attract attention and based on the exhibited sophistication of their police forces, I wouldn't expect Sam Spade or Matt Helm to be available for this chore.

You need to read over the Commandments, switch on your radar (aka common sense) and realistically assess whether you have the time, money, determination and perseverance to undertake this endeavor.

[Jumper]

Fred-
It's called discussion..

wether *he* asks ,which flower shop posters have had the most reliable service out of,
 or  if its wrong or right to send a dozen roses

he will likely get advice it's better to send odd numbers,,,

that is NOT a bad thing.
lets keep some open perspective ?

instead of insulting a whole forums level of intelligence..


the OP did indeed ask "when" it was a good idea to pull the trigger on a PI.?
(so why play semantics on whethether he asked specifically if its right or wrong?)

 the bulk of the replies ..
are addressing *when to pull the trigger on a PI"

Most are advising that there isn't  a good time.
That if you have that strong of doubts, then instead it is best to find someone you feel more comfortable ,confident and more trust in.

you can agree or disagree with that adivice , ,but it is answering what the OP asked.


Frankly, the OP answered his own question?

i have noticed a few websites for private investigators in Russia and the Ukriane where most of their income seems to come from men who have met an RW through an agency and are doing a little due diligence. If these guys are for real

Ok , ,
he noticed these *cough* "PI's" seem to cater to MOB searchers, and adds "if" they are for *real*.

*Real*ity-

Mens fantasies keep the MOB business going ..
mens doubts and fears keep these "PI's", and thier associated wedsites catering to MOB,
in business .

The smart idea that i see  ,is that someone recognized the market existed for such services and supplied them..


I'd suggest that someone REALLY business savvy/smart..
would not only own an agency..
but supply a *cough* non- associated side business of checking up on their members ..

If any of you do not think this  occurs ,, I have some very good investments i'd like to introduce to you.

so reality is:
 the  OP can choose between the odds of hiring a "real" PI,
and investigating them to be sure THEY are legit ..

or odds of the women being trustworthy..
and spending time to get to know her well enough (his own *investigation*)

lets not pretend there is some guarantee in either case..lol
it is the matrix  there ,if the OP does not want to take the blue pill ,that's ok.
but no need to pretend there is some level of confidence in any random *PI services* offered there.



The one thing  he asked is
"who has actually used?"

and i am sure a few here have experience with a reliable PI?
 and maybe can recommend someone,in the event the OP ever needs  this service.


Maxx,
aisle 5 needs your attention...

[Turboguy]

Personally I think if someone is getting to know a lady from the FSU and she has done some things to raise suspicions, moving on is a better choice than hiring a PI.

If someone is getting to know a lady from the FSU and she has not done things to raise suspicions, and someone is still thinking of hiring a P.I. for "due dilligence" then he doesn't need a P.I. he needs some serious councelling.  Frankly, and I am not saying this is the situation here, but I think he should stay single and I pity any woman he does ever marry.

Evidently she has done some things that make you wonder how trustworthy she is and it is far better to cut any losses of time, money and emotions right now.  Usually the things you see early in a relationship are many times worse further into that relationship. 

[I/O]

If someone is getting to know a lady from the FSU and she has not done things to raise suspicions, and someone is still thinking of hiring a P.I. for "due dilligence" then he doesn't need a P.I. he needs some serious councelling.  Frankly, and I am not saying this is the situation here, but I think he should stay single and I pity any woman he does ever marry.

Pickle Barrel stuff if ever I've read it.

[facetrock]

  For the truly paranoid man a PI is a good choice. Then you can hire a PI for the PI to make sure the first PI is actaully investigating the gal. Sending money to a PI you have never met is like sending money to a woman you have never met. You might get scammed both times.

[Tag-n-bag]

Okay, I was actually thinking of writing a remark in my first post about agencies owning the PI firms, but I decided that this sounded uber-paranoid...lol.

My interest in this topic is more out of curiosity than a case of an actual application, so no, I am not considering using a PI at this time, but who knows maybe one day I will.

I'm not suggesting using any of these sites that advertise as PI's, only that there seems to be a market for this type of thing. The Ukraine is not a parallel dimension, it's only another country, and reliable information can always be had if you know where to look and if you don't mind paying for it.

One of the posts I read here a while back, "My Experience with a Professional Dater", really caught my attention. I read it over 3 times just to make sure I didn't miss anything. To say that this poor guy was sucker punched would be a huge understatement and I still cannot understand why he kept allowing it to happen over and over again. Not only did he put all his eggs in one basket, but he spent a fortune on those eggs and went home not only brokenhearted, but broke as well. It just doesn't get much worse than this.

Would it have been worth it for ‘Handicam’ to have first hired a reputable PI firm to check out this pro-dater prior to committing to his trip? Maybe, maybe not. Being a “pro-dater” may not be an easy thing to ascertain, but a simple background check, a few of the right questions and a few hours or surveillance would have most likely told him all he needed to know.

[I/O]

One of the posts I read here a while back, "My Experience with a Professional Dater", really caught my attention. I read it over 3 times just to make sure I didn't miss anything. To say that this poor guy was sucker punched would be a huge understatement and I still cannot understand why he kept allowing it to happen over and over again. Not only did he put all his eggs in one basket, but he spent a fortune on those eggs and went home not only brokenhearted, but broke as well. It just doesn't get much worse than this.

Would it have been worth it for ‘Handicam’ to have first hired a reputable PI firm to check out this pro-dater prior to committing to his trip? Maybe, maybe not. Being a “pro-dater” may not be an easy thing to ascertain, but a simple background check, a few of the right questions and a few hours or surveillance would have most likely told him all he needed to know.

Would that prior knowledge have changed anything? The issue, IIRC, was not identifying the animal but avoiding its bite / grip.

[facetrock]

  Handicam fell in love with a video chat girl and he admitted he knew he was being scammed while there. A PI was not on his mind. Young, hot looking PU had taken over his thoughts. But what was so funny about Handicams story is that even though he knew he was getting scammed he couldnt stop. That sweet young PU was oh so close and intoxicating but it turned out to be so far away after all. I think he did get a small kiss though

Guys like that stop here from time to time. Its utterly futile to try to convince them they are being taken for a ride with the PU on the brain. Hopeless.

[I/O]

even though he knew he was getting scammed he couldnt stop. That sweet young PU was oh so close and intoxicating but it turned out to be so far away after all. I think he did get a small kiss though

The scene below reminds me............

[Gator]

By the way for those of you who missed it he does not ask about what you think or if you think its wrong or right.

Is this not hypocrisy?  You chastise the RWD members for not responding directly to Tag's question,  and then you do the same.

In the literal sense, Fred, you are correct.  Yet, Tag's elaboration reveals that the information provided in the RWD responses was useful, so there 

Have you ever introduced yourself, or explained you goal in participating at RWD?   You tell Shadow that you are not looking for a wife.  So we know that you do not share the most common goal among RWD members.  Is your only purpose to compete with Sandro in identifying DD's?  He is 60 ahead of you.

[Misha]

One of the posts I read here a while back, "My Experience with a Professional Dater", really caught my attention. I read it over 3 times just to make sure I didn't miss anything.

This thread seems to have hit a nerve. There is an even simpler way of knowing if a woman is a pro-dater. If she wants to go to a 5-star restaurant, suggest a more modest location that you prefer. If she takes you shopping on the first or second date, do not buy anything worth more than 3 flowers. If she asks you to send money for airline tickets, visas, or whatever else before you meet, don't. If she asks or hints that you should be sending her money when you barely know her, don't. In other words, you are in complete control of your money and how you spend it. If you will regret spending the money if things don't work out, then learn to say no and don't spend money frivolously. Don't try to buy love, spend appropriately, and meet women to dazzle them with your personality, not cash. If you do this, you will certainly avoid most pro-daters and scammers, and you won't have to hire any private investigators.

[groovlstk]

One thing usually lost among discussions about PIs/scammers/pro daters is that when a guy gets to to the point where he is considering marriage, he stands a much higher chance of having the marriage fail simply because he and the woman he shared a few vacations with prior to marrying are simply incompatible, versus the possibility of her being a scammer.

[ML]

One thing usually lost among discussions about PIs/scammers/pro daters is that when a guy gets to to the point where he is considering marriage, he stands a much higher chance of having the marriage fail simply because he and the woman he shared a few vacations with prior to marrying are simply incompatible, versus the possibility of her being a scammer.

Very  good point.  The incompatible factor is very large.  I was amazed that some posters in my TR wondered why I couldn't choose one of the four that I am focused on after meeting 12.  How could I know about compatibility after only being with a woman for 6 days or so?

And marriage thoughts will take a lot more face time before that will even be discussed.

[Tag-n-bag]

I appreciate everyone's response, even the critisisms, which were helpful in the most part. However, I worded my question incorrectly and as a result, did not really receive an answer.

By hiring a PI, I meant hiring one BEFORE you go to meet with your very own special little Russian niblet.

I should have been more clear when I wrote this topic. My fault. Many of the responses I got here were offered from the perspective of being in the same location as the woman in question. If this were the case, then it is already too late to hire a PI. If I couldn't pick up I was being scammed in the first few minutes, she is either very, very good and could easily pass a polygraph, or she is for real, or possibly a combination of both.

I realize that some of you here have invested mega bucks in your search for a wife or a girlfriend, partner, whatever, so this may seem insignificant to some of you, but hiring a Pi before you leave seems like it could either save you the trip, or at the very least give you enough time to ditch the scammer and find a real broad.

[ECOCKS]

As best I could see the answers you got apply to both situations. You asked plainly when we would pull the trigger on hiring a PI and got answers and comments which you don't really want to hear.

Frankly your choice for a screen name, language when referring to the women and general attitude indicate you aren't taking this very seriously in the first place.

I won't wish you luck because so far I haven't seen evidence that would make me think you're going to do anything which will reflect well on WM or be beneficial for FSUW.

[Turboguy]

By hiring a PI, I meant hiring one BEFORE you go to meet with your very own special little Russian niblet.

Wow, great idea.  I haven't heard that suggestion before and it could be great.  He could check her background, put a key logger on her computer so you can check out all her emails.,  maybe even tap her cell phone, if she has a car put a gps tracking device on it and put a video camera in her bath room so you can find out if she is a real blonde or not in advance.   Great idea.

[Gator]

Tag-n-Bag,

You are still missing the big picture.  I believe that when you start talking with RW, you may come off as weird.

Assume it is a blind date in America.  Would you use a PI before you met her?  What is different that makes you think you need a PI in the FSU just to meet a woman?

Talking with a RW is not much different than talking with a blind date in America. Try a few and see what happens.  Then come back and ask us some questions.

If your fear is that the woman is not real, this is easily resolved by talking directly to her several times without using an agency (webcam preferably).  If it is not possible to avoid the agency, go to another agency/source and start over.

If you still have doubts after several conversations, then WMVM.

You can only be scammed if you send money, so don't send money. 

[Gator]

And marriage thoughts will take a lot more face time before that will even be discussed.

Yes. 

How could I know about compatibility after only being with a woman for 6 days or so?

You would not know. 

I was amazed that some posters in my TR wondered why I couldn't choose one of the four that I am focused on after meeting 12.

I was wondering what was holding you back from choosing one.  You did not tell us much in detail, so my assessment is that either you are not ready for a serious LTR with a FSUW, or you were not compellingly impressed by any of these 4 women.

Based on the little I know, it seems that it was more the latter.  I am sure that the remaining four are fine women, yet the fact remains that none compelled you to focus just on her.  If so, why return to Kharkiv to meet the same women?

I met a few women in Kharkiv and Dnepropetrovsk who I would have happily dated again if they lived in my city.  They did not, and nothing seemed to warrant investing additional time with them.

The few Miss Rights I have known in my long life were (with two exceptions) self-evident early on.  There were very many who impressed me early on as Miss Right only to have something come up that ended such thoughts.

[Boogalter]

i have noticed a few websites for private investigators in Russia and the Ukriane where most of their income seems to come from men who have met an RW through an agency and are doing a little due diligence. If these guys are for real, then it's a smart idea if you ask me. The PI I hired for my divorce proved invaluable.

I was wondering if anyone here has actually used a PI in Russia or the Ukraine before and what the results may have been. Also, when would you pull the trigger on hiring a PI?
 

Useless, they just google and sent flowers to see if the girl is there.