Good advice from someone who doesn't know anything.

[FredC]

Of course communication is key, so you must have a common language. Ideally you will speak each others language. Also just as inevitable is the fact that we all think differently,so misunderstandings are bound to happen. I think what is most important is to have the patience to work through those misunderstandings without losing your composure.

[Boethius]

and Homeland Security publishes its statistics
http://www.dhs.gov/files/statistics/immigration.shtm

But I doubt they will maintain records of divorces as you said its not their level and field either.

2008 Yearbook of Immigration Statistics
http://www.dhs.gov/xlibrary/assets/statistics/yearbook/2008/ois_yb_2008.pdf

U.S. Legal Permanent Residents: 2009
http://www.dhs.gov/xlibrary/assets/statistics/publications/lpr_fr_2009.pdf

From your link, I found the number of K1 and K3 visas issued annually.

http://www.dhs.gov/xlibrary/assets/statistics/yearbook/2009/nimsuptable1d.xls

Substitute 2008 for 2009, 2007 for 2008, etc., and you will find the total numbers in each year.  

[Turboguy]

Nice post Kevin.  When I was in the searching stage I never cared in the least how much English she did or didn't know.  The woman I ended up marrying has great English so perhaps even though I didn't care I found it easier to bond to someone who I could talk to.

Personally I think there are guys who should only consider women with excellent English and those for whom it doesn't matter at all.  

I think what is most important is to have the patience to work through those misunderstandings without losing your composure.

Fred, I think that is the key to everything.  If you don't have great patience, don't even think about a woman with no English.

For some marriages a wife you couldn't communicate with would be a blessing.

I never considered it important how much English a woman knew, but I did consider it important that she would be willing to spend a lot of time learning it.  If you met the right woman and she had no English skills, if she was willing to work hard I think by the time she arrived you could communicate well enough to get by.   I always remember one woman who told me when she arrived in America she only knew how to say "I am hungry" and it worked out find for her.  I think it can be done but it is not for everyone.

[SANDRO43]

For some marriages a wife you couldn't communicate with would be a blessing.

Possibly. However, this particular stumbling block - with an Italian woman - was IMO the main reason why my own marriage failed, a long time ago .

In retrospect, I was stunned to realise that I never had the opportunity of a conversation with my ex outside the practical realm of What's for dinner, What colour for our living room curtains, Where should we go for our next summer vacations and similar, i.e. only  very practical matters. Forget about any abstract discussion on any topic .

Needless to say, this may mean eventual intellectual starvation for some .

[Mark Davis]

I love this conversation about speaking English, because I was in the same camp until I met my wife!  I'd limited my dating to English speaking until I started up a conversation with two ladies who were sitting together.  One spoke very good English and the other spoke less, but seemed fully connected with the conversation.  I asked them both out to dinner but found myself drawn toward the blonde, Anna, who would become my wife.  I set up dates with both of them, and was surprised that Anna requested the that I get an interpreter.

I'd been trained how to work with an interpreter but this was my first experience.  I found that it actually help the conversation.  Instead of just preparing my next thought while she was speaking, I was captivated by watching her inflections and body language as she spoke, since I couldn't understand a word.  When I connected what I was observing with what the interpreter would then tell me gave me a deeper understanding in the communication that if we were both speaking English.  I agree with the previous comment that when you are truly connected with someone you find ways to communicate with fewer words.  It's a rich experience.

She was motivated to learn English and started night classes three-days/week.  By the time I came back to visit again three months later we never needed an interpreter again.  If I'd stuck to my English-only rule I'd have missed out on the greatest treasure.

I think the first question that must be asked by anyone who doesn't know anything is "What am I looking for?  What will it feel like to be with her?"  Finding the one you connect with and have chemistry with is the greatest task and the most rewarding.  It just takes some soul work up front to ask yourself what you are honestly hoping your daily life will be like with that special one.

[3T_Ventus]

Mark Davis,

Relating your experience is the most valuable information for a newbie like me! I am connecting better with women not speaking very good English than those speaking very fluent. There is some sparks with a few women. Now I still have to make a visit to see whether there is a real chemistry. Since I live in Europe I can make as many VO trips as I like to.

I am only hesitant and distrusting interpreters. I have read some crazy things about them, especially those connected to agencies. I know I have to avoid them. Since you have had a good experience with them what advice would you give me in finding the right person for the job at hand?

3T_Ventus

[remiel6]

I echo marks comments as well. I used an agency to translate the letters we wrote everyday for about five months before we first met. Had a translator at the first meeting and then started her on English lessons, which continued in ESl once she arrived. To put is quite simple, had I insisted on English only I would not be married today. however I will say this, this is not for the faint of heart and you need a lot of patience, but in the end if you lack patience this is not the endeavor for you. Even if her English is perfect the transition from one culture to the next is very large.

[3T_Ventus]

remiel6,

I agree with you too. I am also letting an agency translate my letters and I hope to make a VO in about two months time. My case is even a bit different for Dutch and not English will be required to pass immigration. I am also trying to learn the Russian language to meet half way. I will take it into account to be patient. I am originally from outside the EU. My parents decided 30 years ago to emigrate to Holland. The whole family speaks Dutch except for my father. Transition from one culture isn't easy. IMO learning the language and making or wanting to make transition will depend on age and personality.

[Mark Davis]

3T_Ventus:

DUDE, YOU WIN THE PRIZE!  You have no idea how powerful it was when you said, "Now I still have to make a visit to see whether there is a real chemistry." 

You obviously get it, and I'm so proud of you!  If there are two deadly sins in foreign dating they are: 1. Don't give any money to a girl you haven't met in person and is already your exclusive girlfriend.  2.  Don't fall in love with letters and pictures - you have to meet in person to see if you have a connection.

I swear that 90% of all problems men have with dating internationally would be solved if they understood those two rules.  The money thing is just common sense, but I want to expound on why what you said is so important.  So many guys become enamored with the fact that they are writing to a beautiful woman - and that she's writing them back.  They brag to their friends, "Look who I'm writing to!" they say.  What are the risks?  In some cases guys find out that the translator was the only one writing to them.  Others become seduced by a gold digger who knows just what to say.  Others are having honest dialog, but when they meet in person there is no magic.  Perhaps she was taller than they expected, or her mannerisms were hyper-active, etc.

There are many stories of guys who put all of their eggs in the basket of meeting and marrying this one woman they have been writing to that when it doesn't work they are emotionally destroyed and can't get back on the saddle to try again while they are there.  It ends up being a wasted trip.

Most guys who guard their hearts and taper their expectations are going to have a positive experience.  They understand what you just said, "Now I still have to make a visit to see whether there is a real chemistry." 

You go, hoping that it works, but if there isn't a fit, you're prepared to make the most of your time and line up all the dates you want through the local marriage agency office.

I'm proud of you!

[3T_Ventus]

Mark Davis,

Thank you! Above all thank you for the timely and most valuable advice. 'You did well' is an understatement. I wish to have success in this endeavor. The only way to achieve that is to read and learn from the hero's. Maybe I will succeed this time, maybe the next or the next....

I am very grateful to have joined this forum.

3T_Ventus