Just starting out, a few questions...

[joegti10]

Ill keep this as short and unboring as possible.

Heres a few things about myself....Im 32 years old living on the eastern end of Long Island in NY. I live 5 minutes from the beach. Im college educated, good looking, in good shape, healthy and i come from a good family.

Ive had a handful of LTRs in my time and more than a handful of bar hookups and very short 'courtships'. I still have not found 'the one' and im getting a little bit annoyed at that fact. Im really starting to not like the general attitude of Long Island women and their materialistic views of life. That said...ive been putting a bit of thought in finding a woman from overseas...preferably from somewhere where life is not so perfect as here. So here i am, lol.

I have recently put a profile up on freepersonals.ru and sent out a few messages. Im still waiting for my pics to be approved there.

Anyways, just wondering about the women on these sites. Are most of them legit or should i be on the lookout for a lot of fakes? Do the real ones put themselves out there so they can get out of their country? Are they looking for american citizenship by marriage?

[wicheese]

Joe,

Yes, there are real ladies on those sites as I am dating one from singles.ru, but there are also those who are looking out for only themselves.  I have heard first and second hand plenty of stories of women marrying the man for not the most honest reason or dating him as part of a scam (sites like this one are full of stories).  The best way to avoid the dishonest ones is to read a lot on this site as you'll learn a lot. 

Also, life there is not so bad for many as I once dated a lady in Moscow who's father had a nice home on the beach not far from you, a few more apartments in Brooklyn, a nice place in Manhattan, another in Miami Beach, and his home outside Moscow could rival the best of American homes (this is an extreme example, but it just proves you never know who you'll meet online).  My current girlfriend is just a middle class Russian, but she has an income far in excess of the average in America and lacks for nothing and her lifestyle might even take a hit by moving to America, unfortunately she again is not a typical example.

[ML]

Im really starting to not like the general attitude of Long Island women and their materialistic views of life. That said...ive been putting a bit of thought in finding a woman from overseas...preferably from somewhere where life is not so perfect as here.

Sorry to tell you, but if you read some of the threads here, you will learn that the FSU women are actually more materialistic than AW.  And despite fact that you can give (most) of them a much better life than they have . . . this is what they fully expect, so there will be no kudos to you for providing it.

[Nat]

Im really starting to not like the general attitude of Long Island women and their materialistic views of life. That said...ive been putting a bit of thought in finding a woman from overseas...preferably from somewhere where life is not so perfect as here.

What do you mean under "materialistic views of life"?

[SMS60]

I still have not found 'the one' and im getting a little bit annoyed at that fact.

First off, we need to correct some terminology. You wont find "the one" because she dont exist. Its a myth. No need to be annoyed at something you cant find.

Now with that cleared up you should do fine.

Carry on

[Daveman]

First off, we need to correct some terminology. You wont find "the one" because she dont exist. Its a myth. No need to be annoyed at something you cant find.

Now with that cleared up you should do fine.

Carry on

so you are married to multiple women? damn, that must be a strain with the duplicate sets of credit cards, multiple pairs of pantyhose hanging all over the bathroom...  "the one" obviously does exist... but of course your point of there not being a single, solitary, one woman in the world who fits together with me chosen by destiny as my soul mate is absolutely valid. 

The good news is there are quite a number of compatible women around the world to find (though with varying degrees of compatibility hopefully not varying by too many degrees over time and growth).  Date and have fun until you find the "A ONE" who fills in all the blanks on both sides of the brain equation.

[Enot2]

Hi Wicheese,

Yes they are real and it is a good site, I know many men that have met good women there.  Every site has it's good and bad women, you just have to weed out the bad.

Be sure to ask questions so we can help you weed out the bad ones.

Best of luck.

[Gator]

Are most of them legit or should i be on the lookout for a lot of fakes?

Welcome!  And good news!  The percentage of legit women (vs. fakes) on these sites is higher than the percentage of legit breasts (vs. fakes) in America.

Freepersonals  probably will not get you much for a lot of work, although I met there years ago the RW that I am now dating.

I suggest that you spend $200 for six months and join Elena's Models,  Luckylovers and Russian Euro, agencies where you do not pay by letter (avoid those).  Don't be cheap now because it gets more and more expensive as you progress. 

After warming up with these agencies for a couple of months, try dating  sites such as mamba.ru.  Some of the men here will help you with mamba.   

This venture is actually a lot of fun.

Good luck!

[Dave13]

    First just relax and spend some time reading, your going to get lots of advice, so enjoy. Is this journey worth the effort YES! I've been married for over six years to a beautiful lady, each day I realize how lucky I was to take the chance and get my butt on that plane. OK advice, learn some Russian, the ladies like it, even if she speaks English, and if she does that's a plus. Next make a plan, narrow your area were you plan to visit, like one city, give yourself at least a week for the trip,more if you can, because the travel time will kill at least two days and the jet-lag can be a real pain. OK, don't spend a lot of time writing letters, until you meet its not a real relationship, after a few months go, at the very least you will have a very interesting vacation. Its been years, but I used lifetimepartners.

Best of Luck!

[ECOCKS]

As many are saying, some are legit, some are not. The burden is on you to set your own expectations, develop search parameters for finding them and then tune your radar to determine the real ones from those just playing to your fantasies and gullibility.

Do your research, learn the Commandments and start on setting your own expectations and alerts.

Good luck!

[Brianinaz]

Joe,

As with any many other areas in life from your car mechanic to investment adviser to business partner some are good and sincere and others are willing to take everything you have and leave you on the side of the road. It's true that some groups of people (maybe Long Island women I don't know) have become spoiled and no longer appreciate the efforts and qualities of their companions but I would be cautious about looking at the green grass on the otherside of the fence (world). The color difference might not be all you are expecting.

Having said that if you find the right person it is IMHO well worth the effort. Em was suggested as a starting point and it's not a bad idea. You can get phone numbers in relatively short order. Long periods of letter writing may give you something to do and be entertaining but as far as finding the person you are looking for it's pretty much a waste of time. My suggestion is to take a week and go on vacation. Make your first trip a look and see trip. There are plenty of people who will help with arrangements etc. In my opinion it's best to bypass the agencies/dating sites all together. I met my wife by putting having someone put an ad in a local paper. Feel free to drop me a note if you would like more details

Brian

[viking]

Joe, you live on the eastern end of LI. North or South shore?  I am in western Nassau also near the beach and can tell you there are a LOT of RW's living in LI. And some members here, including myself, have found some wonderful women in the FSU. But its a long, hard, expensive, emotionally difficult road. Ever try going to Tatiana's in Brighton Beach? Or a club there? Just to get a taste?

[Markus]

Joe,

It's usually entertaining reading the advice from the inexperienced to the inexperienced. Now, since I haven't been in the looking stage for a number of years, perhaps I'm inexperienced. However,
I have been married over 6 years and I believe I know what other men are hoping for. I do wonder why men want to "save money" and take the free site route. I have always been an advocate against
free sites. The reason why is I had two scams attempted to me on free sites. But, it was these scams that got me interested in RW and is why I'm married today, over 6 years later. I was looking for
ladies in the U.S.. but was contacted by the 2 scams mentioned above. I went to http://bluesapphires.net, and paid the extra money.

You can go the free site route, take your chances, or you can go the pay sites and take your chances. On the site I showed above, they pool different smaller sites together. I met the guy whose site
was pooled into the larger site and began exchanging letters at a cheaper price with his site directly. Either way you go, you don't know the facts until you visit in person. IMO, ditch the free sites.

Mark

[ML]

No reason at all to ditch free sites.
There are problem women on pay sites just as there are on free sites.
Many women are on multiple sites both free and pay.
Optimal procedure is to cast as wide a net as possible to cover ladies who live in a specific target city.
Use the search engines on as many sites (free and pay) as you can handle within your time constraints to find ladies on the sites who meet your minimal criteria.
An intelligent and realistic man cannot be scammed.

[facetrock]

Free sites are ok if you dont expect to much. Every man with a fantasy is on it banging away at his keyboard. The good looking girls get tons of mail from men who will never travel and it can be very frustrating and hard for them to figure out who is serious and who is playing. Anything free gets abused.
  I think alot of the better girls just give up after awhile because of the keyboard romeos and all the promises from men to show up who never do.
I would bet Freepeersonals is at least 10 to 1 men.
  I prefer the pay by month sites. The monthly fee helps get rid of alot of the game players and it drops to about 3 to 1 men. I base the 3 to 1 on Russianeuro. There you can see the number of people on line and when you search for women of any age its almost always 3 to 1 men.
  I would bet most similar sites have the same ratio except Elenas Models. I would say they have a higher rate for men.

[Vinnvinny]

...preferably from somewhere where life is not so perfect as here. So here i am, lol.

I think that this is a basic mistake that many guys make. You have to want a girl to love you and not what you can give to her in terms of a life style upgrade.

Freepersonals is ‘ok’ but like a number of listing sites there are a lot of scammers around.

Set up a separate email address and ask the ladies who interest you to write direct. You will receive letters that waffle on for many paragraphs about nothing and photos with titles such as ‘A beautiful day at the beach’, ‘My lovely Granny’ and ‘My smile for you!!!’. Delete them without replying. Descriptive titled photos = scam … guaranteed.

If you are unsure then google a ladies email address (gmail is a red flag) and google parts of her letter in quotation marks. If you still have doubts thent PM me a link to a profile … I can tell instantly.

Good luck.  

[ECOCKS]

I think that this is a basic mistake that many guys make. You have to want a girl to love you and not what you can give to her in terms of a life style upgrade.

Truer words were never spoken.

Freepersonals is ‘ok’ but like a number of listing sites there are a lot of scammers around.

Set up a separate email address and ask the ladies who interest you to write direct. You will receive letters that waffle on for many paragraphs about nothing and photos with titles such as ‘A beautiful day at the beach’, ‘My lovely Granny’ and ‘My smile for you!!!’. Delete them without replying. Descriptive titled photos = scam … guaranteed.

If you are unsure then google a ladies email address (gmail is a red flag) and google parts of her letter in quotation marks. If you still have doubts thent PM a link to a profile … I can tell instantly.

Good luck. 

[Eduard]

Hi there, Joe
wow, a lot of advice here, pretty confusing I bet! One thing you should know is that people are people anywhere you go, and in Russia/Ukraine/Belarus you will find the whole spectrum of women (just like in the US) good, bad and ugly! I will never believe that ALL AW are bad or materialistic. I've met plenty of them who are very nice, kind-hearted, loyal, family oriented women. But the sad part for single AM is that those good ones are usually taken and the pool of available, marriage minded women in the US is limited and it's quality leaves a lot to be desired. Lucky for you the situation is a 180 degree different in the FSU (if you are interested in the FSU women that is). I was just reading what one single RW wrote one her personal ad: "на каждых 10 девушек приходится 9 мужиков, да и те тупят." which translates: 'There are 9 men for every 10 girls and even those are idiots". basically RW face similar problem here in Russia - to find a good, family oriented, marriage minded man who doesn't abuse alcohol and doesn't cheat too much... Similarly (but in the reverse sort of way) to the US there are good RM in Russia, but they are usually taken and so RW are left to pick from a pool of men who are not as desirable. If you ask any RW, she will tell you that it is pretty normal in Russia/Ukraine for a man who is decent looking and earns a decent living to have a wife and also a couple of girlfriends on the side. His women know about each other in some cases and yet willing to accept the situation because the alternative is to either be alone or date/marry some one who is hardly a good match. A good analogy would be if you couldn't find an American girl to marry that you feel is suitable for you, you would either become one of the lovers of a married attractive AW or decide to settle/compromise and marry a 250Lbs, unattractive AW who smokes, drinks a bit too much and has a bad gambling habit. Or you can just be alone...

I hope people see that I'm just trying to make an analogy here.

As far as "materialistic" is concerned: I think all people are materialistic to a degree. We live in the world where money talks and money is needed to survive and to live. There are many materialistic women in Russia and Ukraine but IMO USA women still take the prize (disclosure: I'm talking ON AVERAGE!). FSU women are starting to catch up, but I find that it is still easier to find a good, non-materialistic woman in Russia who has good values and is marriage minded.  

My personal story is quite different from all members on the forum and my experience is unique so I probably have a bit different perspective then many other posters, so understandably they might not agree with me.... Let me know if you have any other questions and I'll be happy to help.

[Eduard]

I think that this is a basic mistake that many guys make. You have to want a girl to love you and not what you can give to her in terms of a life style upgrade.

excellent point, Vinn!
Where have you been, man? Miss you at the other place! I'm in Siberia now of all places...but the loving is good here! Have to get home soon though...too much stress to have to look and not touch...it's really getting to me! It's like being a kid in a candy store with his hands handcuffed behind his back...ouch!!!

[OlgaH]

If you ask any RW, she will tell you that it is pretty normal in Russia/Ukraine for a man who is decent looking and earns a decent living to have a wife and also a couple of girlfriends on the side.

joegti10,

Eduard, knows what he is talking about because he is a Russian man    So, if you will use his services he probably will find you a woman who will let you have two more while she plays two more men on her side.  

[Misha]

I do wonder why men want to "save money" and take the free site route. I have always been an advocate against
free sites. The reason why is I had two scams attempted to me on free sites.

There are different types of free sites: free sites that are for foreigners looking for RW and their are free Russian dating sites where Russians are not looking specifically for foreigners. I wager when you refer to free sites, you refer to the former as opposed to the latter.

Why would I have wanted an agency? Yes, I knew Russian and could meet many beautiful, eligible women. Out of those women, I found and married the woman who is my wife. You had your experiences with your free sites, I had mine. I have no complaints and it did not cost me a penny to use singles.ru and unlike you I was not bothered by any scammers 

[Eduard]

joegti10,

Eduard, knows what he is talking about because he is a Russian man    So, if you will use his services he probably will find you a woman who will let you have two more while she plays two more men on her side.  

Olga, good to see you are still as nice as ever! Consistency is important to you, isn't it?
Joe, what Olga forgot to mention is that I am happily married to a Russian woman for 6 years, that I brought my wife over from Russia to the US via K-1 process, and that we have 2 beautiful children together. And also that my family values are to be faithful to my wife and to take care of my family. Olga is right though, I'm sure i could help you find what you want, but not with the result described in her post. Helping men find their true soulmate (and avoiding all the BS and waisting years and tens of thousands of $$$ in the process) is what my specialty is. If I know a man is just looking to "play around" I don't even accept him as a client.
As you will find out, Russian women can be very different from one another (unlike the MOB agency hype that puts them ALL in the "earth angel" category) from almost a saint who will stand by your side no mater what, will be an understanding, loyal friend and lover, all the way down to an evil bitch who will chew you up and spit you out. Just be careful out there and try to read as much info as possible on this and other forums, learn, separate good info from BS and you'll be allright.

[OlgaH]

And also that my family values are to be faithful to my wife and to take care of my family.

And she also thinks that "it is pretty normal in Russia/Ukraine for a man who is decent looking and earns a decent living to have a wife and also a couple of girlfriends on the side" while he takes care of his wife and two children  

Olga is right though, I'm sure i could help you find what you want, but not with the result described in her post.

Come on, Eduard, you will faster and easily find a woman who will let joegti10 two have a couple of girlfriends on the side, just ask any woman "it is normal" as you said, oh, of course if joegti10 is decent looking and earns a decent living  

[OlgaH]

I'm in Siberia now of all places...but the loving is good here! Have to get home soon though...too much stress to have to look and not touch...it's really getting to me! It's like being a kid in a candy store with his hands handcuffed behind his back...ouch!!!

Is there something that you are forbidden to touch in Siberia? 

[Eduard]

Is there something that you are forbidden to touch in Siberia?  

yes miss H! I can look but I can not touch...the women! and I've been away from home for a month!
and...maybe we shouldn't hijack Joe's thread talking about this, and let him ask questions and get info from other members as well? What do you think?