Wish good luck for me

[LanaRUS]

 Friends, You give me advice to write to men first.
But now I have one doubt.I dream to meet a resolute man with whom I could feel myself a woman  . And   I am afraid I will attract the men not of my type :ohbrother:

[possum]

Friends, You give me advice to write to men first.
But now I have one doubt. I dream to meet the resolute man near to whom I could feel my self the woman . And  I afraid, thus, I will involve  men not my type... :ohbrother:

I thought women believed they could "mold" any man into a shape they desire him to be..

[Lily]

Friends, You give me advice to write to men first.
But now I have one doubt.I dream to meet a resolute man with whom I could feel myself a woman  . And   I am afraid I will attract the men not of my type :ohbrother:

Lana,

Please specify what do you mean by 'resolute' man?  

So you are concerned that you may attract men who are 'not your type'. Well, Lana, you will attract different men, even the types you could not imagine that they exist on earth at all Online dating is a numbers game, you will meet a variety of types! Of course you could and should specify in your profile who you are and what you want, but it does not mean that different people perceive things in a different ways, and may try to contact you anyway. The most important thing is to know what you can live with, and what you cannot live with.

If you write to men first, you achieve at least two things: you make yourself visible (some men search by certain criteria only, and may overlook you), and you maximize chances that the man will be attractive for you.

At EM however, if I correctly remember, you would only be able to send EOI (expressions of interest), not letters. Would that be true now for EM, does anyone know?

And much to my dismay, I've found that many of them go up to age 45 -- and then STOP ... (I'm 46 ... )
I guess that's because it's a nice, round number? 

I think that your guess would be right here. Just a nice number
If I'd be you, I'd neglect one year of difference and write them.

But I figure that these women KNOW what ages they want,

My take would rather be that these women know what ages they don't want.

[Turboguy]

Personally I think everyone is a little flexable on ages.  If someone were 46 I would not suggest they contact someone who lists a maximum age of 30 but if someone says 45 or maybe even 40 I would write them and let them make the decision.  They have a delete button if they are not interested.

I had lots of times when I was in the searching stage where I saw a profile that I sort of liked but they listed a maximum age well below where I was so I didn't write.  Many times a week or two later I would get a letter from them so I do think those maximum ages are not an absolute thing.

[Misha]

Friends, You give me advice to write to men first.

Send a wink, a smiley, but I wouldn't recommend writing a letter or even a long message.

And   I am afraid I will attract the men not of my type :ohbrother:

As Lily rightly says, online dating is a numbers game and I can pretty much guarantee that you will attract men who are not your type. If you are lucky, you will find among the many men that are not your type, one or two who are. If you do not find any men who are your type, then you may have to reevaluate whether your expectations are realistic.

[veritas]

At EM however, if I correctly remember, you would only be able to send EOI (expressions of interest), not letters. Would that be true now for EM, does anyone know?

I think that your guess would be right here. Just a nice number
If I'd be you, I'd neglect one year of difference and write them.

My take would rather be that these women know what ages they don't want.

I believe that a non-paying member gets 20 free ""Expressions of Interest" on EM?
At least, that's how it was a few months ago ... (I'm now a "Gold Member" on EM) ...

So, Lana, that's a good way to "test the waters" on EM -- send EOI's to men ...
And if they RETURN the EOI's, then you must decide whether to pay in order
to write them letters (I believe) ... And if THEY write YOU letters, then you
must decide whether to pay in order to READ their letters (I believe) ...

Thanks, Lily and Turboguy!  I'll reconsider contacting those "up to 45" women ...

Send a wink, a smiley, but I wouldn't recommend writing a letter or even a long message.

Absolutely, Lana!  Send a wink, a smiley, an EOI, etc., but don't waste time -- and money! --
writing men letters UNTIL you've first "tested the waters" with them ... That's what *I* do ...

[Sculpto]

I have an AW friend who is 45.  She is very attractive.. looks very much like Lana as far as I can tell from the photo.  She is an exceptionally talented artist, very easy going and smart.

She can not find a man and a little over a year ago asked me for help.

So, I gave her a little interview to define her parameters and learn about her dating history.

she gave as her ages 25-45.  I laughed!  She also asked for tall, slim and highly intelligent.  She has an ongoing FWB with a 30 YO Frenchman who is a Poly and she is either 3rd or 4th on the list so she only get taken for a "ride" once a month or so.  Each time afterwards she is very depressed and that is typically when I hear from her.

She is an attractive woman.. but... heck I am a year older than her top limit and, no offense to Lana, but I wouldn't date her.  Although, that sentiment comes more from understanding the psychological self flogging she gives herself every month more than how she looks.

I suggested she revise her age criteria upwards considerably.. say.. 45-60.  She screamed!  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  "I don't want some wrinkled butt old guy!!!"  

Even though she is attractive.. after her comment I didn't have the heart to tell her to look in the mirror and show how she is not wrinkled.  So.. nowadays... I just listen to her cry once a month about the Frenchman.. other than that.. she hasn't had a single date and all he gives her is a workout.. nothing emotional.. nothing romantic.. just a clinically efficient orgasm delivered in 25-30 minutes.

She has unrealistic expectations and cougar fantasies.  

Lana.. i tell this story not because I think you are anything like my friend.  I don't know you at all but you seem like a very nice and very sincere lady with a million dollar smile.    But, please be honest with yourself and aim at targets you can hit.  Don't be like my friend and hold out for something that probably doesn't exist.  Find someone who simply makes you happy and makes you feel important.  

[Boethius]

That should be advice for men as well, Sculpto.

[possum]

I suggested she revise her age criteria upwards considerably.. say.. 45-60.  She screamed!  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  "I don't want some wrinkled butt old guy!!!"  

LOL.. Based on the picture Lana has provided her target age should be in the 38-50 range.. No 70 year-olds need apply, American or Russian..

[veritas]

So.. nowadays... I just listen to her cry once a month about the Frenchman.. other than that.. she hasn't had a single date and all he gives her is a workout.. nothing emotional.. nothing romantic.. just a clinically efficient orgasm delivered in 25-30 minutes.  

Well, Sculpto, that's one "workout" per month more than *I* get ...

If she's THAT depressed afterwards, it sounds like she should keep such matters "in her own hands" ...

Kevin

[LanaRUS]

Hello Friends!
I don't like young boys  I don't need a son...
My expectations - 45-55 years
Thanks for my such  expensive smile
 

[possum]

Hello Friends!
I don't like young boys  I don't need a son...

Hear that, Sculpto? I bet you didn't think to tell your friend she was looking for a son..

[ECOCKS]

Hello Friends!
I don't like young boys  I don't need a son...
My expectations - 45-55 years
Thanks for my such  expensive smile
 

You should do fine if you are patient and sort through the men.

[Misha]

My expectations - 45-55 years

I would wager that most men in this age bracket are looking for women 30-45 (or younger)...

[Sculpto]

That should be advice for men as well, Sculpto.

"Age" levels of sexual desire in men and women the same in different periods: Attraction 19-year-old man is comparable to the interest of women around 30, but the 40-year-old man "are drawn" on a par with the women about 20.

http://lady.mail.ru/article/360629



Russian internet is VERY interesting. 

[LanaRUS]

"Age" levels of sexual desire in men and women the same in different periods: Attraction 19-year-old man is comparable to the interest of women around 30, but the 40-year-old man "are drawn" on a par with the women about 20.

http://lady.mail.ru/article/360629



Russian internet is VERY interesting.  

I remember now, when I am 20, sex was absolutely not important for me :whirling:


The dawn of female sensuality come for 28-35 years. If i am 20 years and have met the 40-year-old man,  approximately in 10 years I will be in blossoming.... And what will be with my man...

[Faux Pas]

I remember now, when I am 20, sex was absolutely not important for me :whirling:


The dawn of female sensuality come for 28-35 years. If i am 20 years and have met the 40-year-old man,  approximately in 10 years I will be in blossoming.... And what will be with my man...

Certainly depends on the man and his prowess but, for a 30 yr old woman and a 50 year old man, the prognosis isn't favorable to the woman

[possum]

"Age" levels of sexual desire in men and women the same in different periods: Attraction 19-year-old man is comparable to the interest of women around 30, but the 40-year-old man "are drawn" on a par with the women about 20.

http://lady.mail.ru/article/360629



Russian internet is VERY interesting. 

As I see it, we have a problem but not the solution.. If a late 30's woman marries a 20 yo guy, they will have a satisfying sex life for a few years but eventually the sex will taper off because as the woman ages, the guy's level of attraction to her will dwindle.. Likewise, if a older dude marries a 20 something gal, in a few years they will have a problem on their hands, or rather she will have a problem "on her hands".. Get it?. :hairraising:

[Sculpto]

lack of creative thinking going on around here.

[possum]

lack of creative thinking going on around here.

Enlighten us..

[Jazzyclassy]

Lana,dear , good luck to you!  I am sure you will succeed You have a very nice lovely smile as Lily pointed out so all will be amazing for you , I am sure!

[Lily]

So, Lana, that's a good way to "test the waters" on EM -- send EOI's to men ...
And if they RETURN the EOI's, then you must decide whether to pay in order
to write them letters (I believe) ... And if THEY write YOU letters, then you
must decide whether to pay in order to READ their letters (I believe) ...
 

EM does not allow any paid membership options for women. At least it was so in about 2006. I expressly asked their customer service about any paid membership for me, because I wanted to write meaningful letters which would be free for men to read. EM declined this. I have no idea why they decline another source of income.  

Looks like on EM, only men can choose in a meaningful way; women can only give signs of interest and be chosen.

Send a wink, a smiley, but I wouldn't recommend writing a letter or even a long message.

Why not, Misha? In my opinion, an message written for a particular man outlining some specifics about his life and personality, touching upon a few common things, perhaps asking some specific question may do miracles. Especially if the letter is well written Remember, online communication mostly has words as only tools of communication. Every men would like an expressed interest towards his personality, wouldn't he? Hence, a message should be more chances to get an initial attraction than a simple wink.

[Misha]

Why not, Misha?

This is my experience. When looking for a wife, looks were important. I would wager this is true for most men. If you receive a long letter from a woman that you do not find attractive, you then feel as if you have to write her a reply, which puts you in the awkward position of explaining that you are not interested. Even if you find her attractive, you will likely wonder if she is desperate. An expression of interest is much better as it is easier to ignore if you are not interested and IMHO does not make the woman come across as needy. A wink or a short message that do not necessitate a reply, shows that she is interested, but still leaves it up to the guy to decide to pursue or not.

[veritas]

EM does not allow any paid membership options for women. At least it was so in about 2006. I expressly asked their customer service about any paid membership for me, because I wanted to write meaningful letters which would be free for men to read. EM declined this. I have no idea why they decline another source of income.  

Looks like on EM, only men can choose in a meaningful way; women can only give signs of interest and be chosen.

Why not, Misha? In my opinion, an message written for a particular man outlining some specifics about his life and personality, touching upon a few common things, perhaps asking some specific question may do miracles. Especially if the letter is well written Remember, online communication mostly has words as only tools of communication. Every men would like an expressed interest towards his personality, wouldn't he? Hence, a message should be more chances to get an initial attraction than a simple wink.

Thanks, Lily, for the correction there on EM's policies with women ... I should
not have assumed that it would be the same for women on EM as it is for men ...

And in light of what you wrote about sending (unsolicited) messages to men,
I'll revise my agreement with Misha to say that I don't think an initial message
should be very LONG, at least, until you find out that the man has some interest ...

(BTW, I more or less agree with Misha's latest post above) ...

I remember now, when I am 20, sex was absolutely not important for me :whirling:

And Lana, since no one ELSE has said it, I want to compliment you on your EXTREMELY
creative use of animated emoticons throughout this intro of yours!!!     And ALSO on
your very lovely and winning SMILE!!! 

Kevin

[SANDRO43]

EM does not allow any paid membership options for women. At least it was so in about 2006. I expressly asked their customer service about any paid membership for me, because I wanted to write meaningful letters which would be free for men to read. EM declined this. I have no idea why they decline another source of income.  

Looks like on EM, only men can choose in a meaningful way; women can only give signs of interest and be chosen.

I don't think that is quite correct, how would you explain my receiving a letter through EM (see http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=12237.msg240389#msg240389 upthread), and others before it ? Unless they actually were from transvestites .