Mothers-in-law

[ECOCKS]

Seems topical.

My MIL is a great human being. We lived together for months in the same apartment and everyday she had coffee and breakfast ready and waiting when I finished my shower and was dressed for the day. She took the shopping money and for weeks insisted on going over the receipts with me so I knew how the money was being spent. She could live with us anytime and is I could figure out how to solve the potential health-care burden of bringing her to the US I would in a heartbeat.

[Seeker]

Do votes of divorced members count?   I haven't met my soon to be MIL yet...  So I can only comment on the past.

[ECOCKS]

Experience counts!

[Aloe]

My MIL is awesome. She helped us so much.
My husband's MIL is also awesome

[Ade]

My MIL is great. She calls me her 3rd son and she is fully supportive of our marriage. She's an astute woman though and knows not to try to interfere and doesn't even in her real sons relationships.

I think if it were ever necessary I could have her live with us. A bonus would be that she could help with any children we decide to have, something we lack here being both away from any family support system. She also loves gardening and I hate it so that would be an even bigger bonus.

[I/O]

MIL is the only living soul I know game enough to tickle my feet when I'm in a bad mood.

[kievstar]

MIL can stay with us 24 X 7 anytime she wants.  I enjoy staying at in-law house when in Ukraine. 

[Misha]

MIL can stay with us 24 X 7 anytime she wants.  I enjoy staying at in-law house when in Ukraine. 

The thing is that the behavior of in-laws when you are a guest in their homes is often quite different than what you will experience when they move in with you 

[Daveman]

The thing is that the behavior of in-laws when you are a guest in their homes is often quite different than what you will experience when they move in with you 

That's the case with anyone and everyone... usually quite a difference between visiting and living under the same roof permanently. 

I don't think there's a snowflake's chance in hell I could do it.  Emergency situations are a little different,but to just move the in-laws into the house for the sake of having the "family together"... uh.... I don't think so. 

[Faux Pas]

I just absolutely love my MIL to death. She is very old school RW. In the early stages of dating her daughter she was very standoffish. Never cold or unwelcoming but I could tell a wall was there. After my third trip and plans to marry her daughter, I can do no wrong in her eyes.

I would love for her to visit and we are in the early stages of making that happen. She is elderly and I expect a long visit but, I can't imagine she would want to live anywhere else than in Siberia. It is who she is and knowing her like I do nothing will change that. Although, she would be welcome to live with us if she so chose. She is not the intervening type and is careful to not inject herself my wife's and my business. She also enjoys my wife and I staying our of her business as well. Although sometimes my wife finds that difficult.
 

[Gator]

NEVER DISMISS THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY

I have met the mother of the woman I am currently dating.  Mama seems like a fine woman.  She speaks zero English so our contacts are limited to smiles and what she does for me such as making delicious blini.  The extended family is close and very functional, with Godmothers and cousins.  Much different from my ex-wife's story.

My ex-wife was an orphan with living parents.   She was raised by her grandmother because the mother wanted to have a social life.  In fact the mother would leave the flat for years at a time.

My ex-wife's grandmother was a precious jewel, very liked with many friends.  Being a former acclaimed stage actress, she made an impressive presence.   Her English  was limited, yet she connected with me.  She was very, very nice to me. 

The MIL, a different story.  When I first met my ex-wife, she refused to talk with her, saying she was not a nice person.  Grandmother died within two years of our meeting.  My ex-wife's only remaining family was her mother.  So  they made up and I got to meet MIL. 

MIL was indifferent towards me.  I believe when MIL reentered my ex-wife's life, our relationship started on a slow downward spiral.  The character of the MIL is revealed by the fact she resented watching her grandchildren when the ex-wife and I traveled.  Isn't that when the typical grandmother spoils the children?

Gentlemen, never dismiss the importance of a functional family.

[kievstar]

Misha, I agree.  My MIL has already stayed in our house and look forward to her coming again.

[Lazarus]

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/75f5fe712f/the-mother-in-law-song

Check out 2:51 in the video! 

Laz

[acctBill]

My MIL is a great woman.  She stayed with us several times when we lived in London. She got along with myself, her daughter and her grandchildren and I would not hesitate to invite her to live with us.

[acrzybear]

 

I could figure out how to solve the potential health-care burden of bringing her to the US I would in a heartbeat.

Ed

Your problems are solved- Obamacare will fix all of that
 

[ECOCKS]

My MIL is a great human being. We lived together for months in the same apartment and everyday she had coffee and breakfast ready and waiting when I finished my shower and was dressed for the day. She took the shopping money and for weeks insisted on going over the receipts with me so I knew how the money was being spent. She could live with us anytime and if I could figure out how to solve the potential health-care burden of bringing her to the US I would in a heartbeat.

Win, win, win situation for everyone.

[Blues Fairy]

The only comment I ever heard from my MIL regarding my daughter was, "she is healthy and happy so you must be doing everything right; keep doing what you're doing".  Such a difference from my own mother who never misses an opportunity to tell me how to raise my kid. 

Bringing my Mom over to live with us is completely out of question, both for me and my husband, unless things become so horrible for her in Sweden than she cannot survive by herself.  Even then, we'll first explore EVERY possibility to help her remotely, before bringing her here. 

[GQBlues]

The only comment I ever heard from my MIL regarding my daughter was, "she is healthy and happy so you must be doing everything right; keep doing what you're doing".  Such a difference from my own mother who never misses an opportunity to tell me how to raise my kid. 

Bringing my Mom over to live with us is completely out of question, both for me and my husband, unless things become so horrible for her in Sweden than she cannot survive by herself.  Even then, we'll first explore EVERY possibility to help her remotely, before bringing her here.

Deep inside of me I wish my wife is as strong as you....

[Boethius]

MILs can be a huge problem. They are usually very set in their ways/views, they got an agenda - he is not good enough/rich enough for my daughter, she can/should find somebody "better" which often means "richer". I had a Russian friend who married a Russian girl here in the US. They lived happily for several years until she brought her MIL to the US to live with them. That's when the trouble started and they wound up getting divorced. Cultural difference? I think not. I was blessed with my in-laws. I feel sad when they leave after a 2 month visit with us once a year. But I think that they are more of an exception rather than the rule.

I think you miss an important point.  In laws can't interfere if:

1.  A spouse loves/respects his/her spouse more than, or even equally to, the in laws, or
2.  A spouse is strong enough to not allow them to interfere.

[JR]

My husband's MIL is also awesome

You may have a little bias on that one Aloe

[remiel6]

I love my mother in law and expect her to be here for an extended time next year just before the baby is born and just after.
As for the health care, I can't figure out how to get myself healthcare so I don't want to touch getting her health care. (I pay separately for the wife's healthcare, but to add me is too expensive)

[ECOCKS]

I'm still working on the health-care issue. We may have found a way. It is still expensive but maybe doable under a business-employment structure if we can get it running and able to support her long-term to get her under medicare/medicaid before she cannot work anymore.