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Author Topic: Wow this is awkward..  (Read 22683 times)

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Offline Zeke0123

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Wow this is awkward..
« on: September 07, 2010, 12:48:29 AM »
 Umm ok certainly a newbie here...were to start..well I got sucked in at HRB but I'm not chatting with a bunch of 20 year olds or corresponding with models telling me they want to wear a nurses outfit for me..Im not looking for someone a little closer to my age I'm talking to a few women that are closer to 30 or actually 30 im 39.. single moms divorced or not I don't have children so that has an appeal to me..So should I just fold in the tent is every single woman on there full of *snip* ?

Ive only been on 2 months and haven't really spent any money but I have certainly been getting emotionally involved..these women don't seem to fit the pattern of the Scammers..at least not the hard core ones..they aren't on for long my letters go unanswered for a a few days usually..If I catch them on then its a bit more rapid fire since that can be exciting..no sexual stuff in the letters no professions of instant love and how I am the best man in the world..etc etc the girls are pretty but certainly not "models" they have attached what are pretty normal pictures of them with their children eating  etc nothing sexual at all..obviously stuff about relationships.

anyways finding this site has made me feel pretty sad but better to have my eyes wide open right ?

any good advice appreciated...I'm guessing most are going to say cut the cord...I actually emailed them about my newly found concerns..I doubt if they are legit they even get those letters though I tried to use language that wouldn't  get picked up by any kind of "filter"

thanks.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2010, 12:58:53 AM by Zeke0123 »

Offline Shadow

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2010, 02:12:36 AM »
There are legit women on HRB, but you have to use due diligence to find them.
Like many of the big ones, HRB has a large number of local agencies that feed profiles and have facilities for women to chat online or get the letters translated.
Some of them might be more interested in making money as in getting people together, so if you are serious the best thing is to find out if the other side is serious as soon as possible.
No it is not a dog. Its really how I look.  ;)

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2010, 02:34:50 AM »
There are legit women on HRB, but you have to use due diligence to find them.
Like many of the big ones, HRB has a large number of local agencies that feed profiles and have facilities for women to chat online or get the letters translated.
Some of them might be more interested in making money as in getting people together, so if you are serious the best thing is to find out if the other side is serious as soon as possible.
got any tips for that ?? these would have to be some cold hearted women I mean COLD the kind of stuff I talk to them about has basically nothing to do with sex...but if its really someone trying to scam me for the piddly email money I would be shocked..but I guess If they get some big payoff If I fly out and visit I guess I can see it being worth it to them but that is some cold calculated shit.

first my head was spinning from some nice and getting fairly intimate in a emotional correspondence..now it feels like its going to explode If im getting scammed.

I work so much I really don't have time to date and I work with all men so no chances at work either haha.

anyways thanks for the response and i am glad I found this site...at least It will slow my roll and Im probably better off for that at least.

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2010, 02:37:57 AM »
Hey another question...do they have someone screening the email before they get sent ???

Offline Chelseaboy

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2010, 04:32:41 AM »
Yes,all emails will be screened,to make sure no direct contact details are being exchanged.That's the way all the sites like HRB work.
Agency girls and/or the local agencies first priority is to make money out of you.To the girls at this stage,you're just a penpal,among many they WILL have writing to them,and this may well be their job,or a way of supplementing their income.Many men writing to them will never visit,so the girls will not take you seriously,until you do visit.
Some of these agency girls would be interested in a foreign man,if the connection is there when you do meet,but many wouldn't.Many/most of these agency girls have local boyfriends,and they only see foreign men as a way of making money,through letter writing,online chat ( with or without webcam),and if you go to meet them,through interpreter scams,taxi-fare scams,apartment scams,expensive restaurant dates ( do you like Sushi ? ),shopping trips funded by you.Adverts are run in Ukrainian newspapers offering paid work to attractive girls to communicate with foreign men in marriage agencies.This is the reality we are facing.
You will have no way of knowing beforehand if any of the girls you are writing to are serious,or even if they are writing to you at all,and not the agency interpreter.That's the risk you take,with sites like HRB.
Good luck.
Just saying it like it is.

Offline Gator

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2010, 05:59:24 AM »
Hey another question...do they have someone screening the email before they get sent ???

Welcome!  Your age gap goal is very reasonable.  Also, by not eliminating women with children you are opening up a large pool that is ignored by many men.

Interpreters not only screen your HRB email, they read and write email.  The question is whether your RW knows that you exist.  Worst case:  fabricated email.  Best case:  your email is read to the RW and then the interpreter prepares a response based on her reaction.

My suggestion - Stop spending money at HRB without a word of farewell.  Join more legitimate agencies and develop relationships with some prime women.  When you decide to visit one or more, use the HRB women as backup. 

Offline veritas

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2010, 06:06:31 AM »
Welcome!  Your age gap goal is very reasonable.  Also, by not eliminating women with children you are opening up a large pool that is ignored by many men.

Interpreters not only screen your HRB email, they read and write email.  The question is whether your RW knows that you exist.  Worst case:  fabricated email.  Best case:  your email is read to the RW and then the interpreter prepares a response based on her reaction.

My suggestion - Stop spending money at HRB without a word of farewell. Join more legitimate agencies and develop relationships with some prime women.  When you decide to visit one or more, use the HRB women as backup.  

:welcome:  I agree wholeheartedly with Gator here ... Perhaps you should try "Elena's Models", for example ...

Kevin

P.S.  It sounds like you're doing pretty well in heeding the HRB warnings on here ... Kudos to you ... :)
« Last Edit: September 07, 2010, 06:23:22 AM by newkt »

Offline ECOCKS

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2010, 07:14:29 AM »
Welcome Zeke!

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're taking steps to learn and make adjustments. My advice, read the 10 Commandments (look just under the top bar, third choice from the left), then look over topics of interest here for some background information and then read a few TR's (Trip Reports) for some real-life examples of how trips to the FSU actually play out. Then start asking questions or getting to the Chat Room for discussions to clarify your thoughts.
Pick and choose carefully among the advice offered and consider the source carefully. PM, Skype or email if you care to chat or discuss

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2010, 08:52:38 AM »
Thanks for the reality check everyone...kinda depressing finding this stuff out...so a lot of these women at least on this site (HRB) look at American men like fools and cash cows  :wallbash: good for me I found out early and wasn't looking for what I would consider a pipe dream type woman..Unfortunately I haven't played "the field" in like 18 years and been a one woman man me entire life..so I'm 20+ Email deep with two of these girls and pretty emotionally attached spending most of my time talking about their kids etc... makes me feel like an idiot.. to what is probably not even them...bummer..well I will defiantly check out other sites and keep my correspondence at HRB to a minimum.

« Last Edit: September 07, 2010, 09:47:31 AM by Zeke0123 »

Offline kievstar

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2010, 09:06:51 AM »
If something looks to good to be true it probably is.  Most letters from hot 20 year old women are written by agency workers.  The women never know you even exist.

Offline Jooky

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2010, 09:07:55 AM »
Hello Zeke,

The best thing to do is to try to get in direct contact with these women without using the agency site.

Most likely these women are listed on social sites or other personal sites where you can get in direct contact with them and continue your conversations without agency interference.

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2010, 09:25:12 AM »
If something looks to good to be true it probably is.  Most letters from hot 20 year old women are written by agency workers.  The women never know you even exist.
Wasn't really going for the "hot" ones..something in my brain told me the bathing suit girls posing seductively were not what I wanted in the first place...Id like a child but I don't want to marry one..one of the ones I caught kinda early in my experience there said she had just started and she was using some type of text translator I had to keep re reading some of it to understand what she was saying and some of the words still came through it in russian...anyways we emailed back and forth for like 3 hours she said it was her first week trying the site and she had just posted her profile..It was going what I thought was rather well I'm pretty good at cutting through and getting to know someone pretty quickly a few days go buy a few more mails since we weren't on at the same time then poof...she is gone.. In over a month she hasnt logged back in she read my last mail then nothing...I find that a little strange if she was their to pump me for cash..I wonder If she quit?

anyways is there such a thing as the text reader/translator ??
« Last Edit: September 07, 2010, 09:29:49 AM by Zeke0123 »

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #12 on: September 07, 2010, 09:27:56 AM »
Hello Zeke,

The best thing to do is to try to get in direct contact with these women without using the agency site.

Most likely these women are listed on social sites or other personal sites where you can get in direct contact with them and continue your conversations without agency interference.
great Idea...I will defiantly look into that :) could you maybe point me in the direction of some of the more reputable..larger ones??? I'm VERY new to this...both of these girls had "real name" type nicks.

Offline kievstar

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2010, 09:36:20 AM »
Hi Zeke, try to get to phone communication quickly or even instant messenger.  Emails can only go so far and a woman may lose interest. 

Even the hot 20 -29 year old women with clothes on rarely write letters in agencies - it is the agency worker your talking to.  Get away from agencies if you like to write letters.  Free personals a better idea. 

Offline ECOCKS

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2010, 09:41:07 AM »
Thanks for the reality check everyone...kinda depressing finding this stuff out...so a lot of these women at least on this site (HRB) look at American men like fools and cash cows  :wallbash: good for me I found out early and wasn't looking for what I would consider a pipe dream type woman..Unfortunately I haven't played "the field" in like 18 years and been a one woman man me entire life..so I'm 20+ Email deep with two of these girls and pretty emotionally attached spending most of my time talking about their kids etc... makes me feel like and idiot.. to what is probably not even them...bummer..well I will defiantly check out other sites and keep my correspondence at HRB to a minimum.

Advice re: the women you feel invested in.

1. You need to reality check whether they are invested in you. If you are hesitant to walk away without being as "sure" as possible even after thinking through what you have read here on whether any are "real", then send one last letter with your Skype information and see how many contact you directly. Just make it clear in forceful terms that you are moving off of the HRB site and the ONLY way they can contact you is through direct voice contact.

2. Any that do contact you further just need to be considered in light of the things you learn and application of the Commandments and good, common sense.

3. Remember in the future that you can't REALLY fall in love without direct personal contact, usually face-to-face. Don't get caught up in the fantasy game so many play.

Hang in there!
Pick and choose carefully among the advice offered and consider the source carefully. PM, Skype or email if you care to chat or discuss

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #15 on: September 07, 2010, 09:44:12 AM »
Hi Zeke, try to get to phone communication quickly or even instant messenger.  Emails can only go so far and a woman may lose interest. 

Even the hot 20 -29 year old women with clothes on rarely write letters in agencies - it is the agency worker your talking to.  Get away from agencies if you like to write letters.  Free personals a better idea. 
was going more for the 28-34 range but I get it and neither of there profiles had any type of "sexy" posing just what I would consider "normal" pictures and the attachments they sent weren't sexy either just "normal" pictures...I guess maybe these sites have learned how to trap all types of men...well fuck me...but who ever promised this was going to be easy or bump free right ?? and yes I prefer the emails...lets you get a coherent conversation going in my opinion..

Offline Jooky

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #16 on: September 07, 2010, 09:45:36 AM »
Here ya go Zeke:

vKontakte (Russian Facebook)
http://vkontakte.ru/
87 Million members and counting

odnoklassniki (Russian Classmates)
http://www.odnoklassniki.ru/

mamba.ru (Russian free personals network)
http://mamba.ru/?lang_id=3

Russian Euro (Russian / European personals network)
http://www.russianeuro.com/

It's very likely that the women you've been emailing are listed on some of these sites. They might also be on Facebook.

There are a few other sites but I can't remember the links off the top of my head.

Offline veritas

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #17 on: September 07, 2010, 10:00:46 AM »
Wasn't really going for the "hot" ones..something in my brain told me the bathing suit girls posing seductively were not what I wanted in the first place...Id like a child but I don't want to marry one..

You sound like a really decent guy, Zeke, and very receptive to good advice ...

I've learned through much reading on RWD that the collective wisdom of these guys (and gals) here is unsurpassed ...

Yes, hang in there!  :)

Kevin

Offline Jumper

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #18 on: September 07, 2010, 10:01:25 AM »
just the name

Hot russian brides,,

seems pretty cheesy???? :)

 it is kind hard to expect it to be legit?


for the record, its best to avoid any website named something that a serious RW would likely not sign up with ..


HotrussianBABEushkas.com

smokinhotkova.com


i guess the flip side of that is , I know some legit RW with profiles on such sites,
 and they have no idea since they are commuinicating through the local affliate agency they signed up with.
so do not always know the "larger agencies name(s)" and  the profiles are often sold or used by many many agencies..
odds are you will find the same women over on anastasia.com..


Theses agencies simply have a poor business model,, for a seriouis man.
they are geared to keyboard romeo's which comprise the bulk of letter writers.


There are some serious women signed up at them (actually the local affiliate) but you are hard pressed to wade thru the 'noise' to be able to communicate directly with them.


.

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #19 on: September 07, 2010, 10:34:10 AM »
just the name

Hot russian brides,,

seems pretty chees
y???? :)

 it is kind hard to expect it to be legit?


for the record, its best to avoid any website named something that a serious RW would likely not sign up with ..


HotrussianBABEushkas.com

smokinhotkova.com


i guess the flip side of that is , I know some legit RW with profiles on such sites,
 and they have no idea since they are commuinicating through the local affliate agency they signed up with.
so do not always know the "larger agencies name(s)" and  the profiles are often sold or used by many many agencies..
odds are you will find the same women over on anastasia.com..


Theses agencies simply have a poor business model,, for a seriouis man.
they are geared to keyboard romeo's which comprise the bulk of letter writers.


There are some serious women signed up at them (actually the local affiliate) but you are hard pressed to wade thru the 'noise' to be able to communicate directly with them.



Yes I guess it does...figured it was just a way to get men to start looking.. and on the front page they show some happy couples with good stories.. I surfed around there for a long time before I joined.

Funny Im sure it must be frustrating for the real searchers that are over there..Ive had a few of them ask me if my profile pictures are recent (I look younger than my age) telling me a lot of the guys there post old pictures etc and how they only want to talk to the "young" ones..Bizarre that there is an entire industry set to bilk lonely American/Canadian men out of money looking at it now it makes sense.

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #20 on: September 07, 2010, 10:38:25 AM »
You sound like a really decent guy, Zeke, and very receptive to good advice ...

I've learned through much reading on RWD that the collective wisdom of these guys (and gals) here is unsurpassed ...

Yes, hang in there!  :)

Kevin
Thanks sir  :)..Nope I'm not a bad guy..actually I'm a pretty nice guy..I work hard and don't ask for much  ;D...Ill hang in there..although I'm not sure this is the thing for me...I could care less about the money..I'm not rich but I do ok and don't even really care about the hassle it could be with the visa etc...but navigating bullshit is something I'm probably not willing to deal with.

Offline Eduard

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #21 on: September 07, 2010, 11:01:12 AM »
Hi Zeke,
All guys that I have worked with in the past 5 years or so had success finding their soulmate on free local Russian social networking sites.
It is not easy to do on your own if you are not a Russian speaker and do not have extensive experience with RW/UW and culture, but IMHO your chances of meeting a good woman, future mother of your children on local Russian sites are a lot better than many other venues.

The women on these sites are not looking for foreign men specifically, and many of them wouldn't even entertain the idea of moving to another country, away from their family, friends, carere and culture. But there are enough women frustrated with the situation with local men who would be willing to give a WM a chance. Usually they are a bit sceptical at first, but the more they get to know a WM the more they like him, the more they are willing to persue this further, meet him in real life...and if the chemistry is there then it is just pure magic.
I just got back from a month long trip with 2 guys (2 weeks with each). And as many times before I got a chance to observe how after a few months of corresponding a couple meets, spends a few days together, getting to know each other in real life and usually one of the prospects that a guy meets is that special one.
It is a very different route from the usual MOB agency way but in my experience it works like a Swiss clock. This is how I met my wife, by the way!
Good luck in your search!
Ed
« Last Edit: September 07, 2010, 11:06:24 AM by Eduard »
realrussianmatch.com

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #22 on: September 07, 2010, 11:28:55 AM »
Hi Zeke,
All guys that I have worked with in the past 5 years or so had success finding their soulmate on free local Russian social networking sites.
It is not easy to do on your own if you are not a Russian speaker and do not have extensive experience with RW/UW and culture, but IMHO your chances of meeting a good woman, future mother of your children on local Russian sites are a lot better than many other venues.

The women on these sites are not looking for foreign men specifically, and many of them wouldn't even entertain the idea of moving to another country, away from their family, friends, carere and culture. But there are enough women frustrated with the situation with local men who would be willing to give a WM a chance. Usually they are a bit sceptical at first, but the more they get to know a WM the more they like him, the more they are willing to persue this further, meet him in real life...and if the chemistry is there then it is just pure magic.
I just got back from a month long trip with 2 guys (2 weeks with each). And as many times before I got a chance to observe how after a few months of corresponding a couple meets, spends a few days together, getting to know each other in real life and usually one of the prospects that a guy meets is that special one.
It is a very different route from the usual MOB agency way but in my experience it works like a Swiss clock. This is how I met my wife, by the way!
Good luck in your search!
Ed
Thanks Ed..going to have to do some reassessing obviously...If I do decide its worth trouble I would probably try and find an alternate way..way to much with the dating sites for a guy like me to bother I take people at their word and and am a bit naive in thinking I'm corresponding with someone with good intentions on these sites..definitely  bummed though it was like a door had open to a whole new world of possibilities and something I had never even considered before I think I followed a link from a football site I frequent the first time I was linked there...very devious the way its set up I read all the happy couple stories all the way back to the very first ones checked out all their propaganda about scammers..read all the "why the women want American men" Bull*snip* and upon re reading they don't actually lie..O well..Ill sit and marinate on this a bit and figure out what I really want to do...I'm actually kinda happy alone after being married so long.

Offline dogspot

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2010, 11:44:47 AM »
I'm actually kinda happy alone after being married so long.

Zeke, how long were you married and how long have you been 'alone'?

Offline Zeke0123

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Re: Wow this is awkward..
« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2010, 12:07:06 PM »
Zeke, how long were you married and how long have you been 'alone'?
17 years..3 months.

 

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