life is what happens while your making other plans :))

[remiel6]

So my wife left a few days ago to visit her family in the Ukraine, so Its me and the dog here missing her. She calls me today and tells me "Your Wife is pregnant"  and this is wonderful news    and now I get to study for the bar exam in February with a pregnant wife  and suddenly it dawned on me. A) I have no idea how to be a father and b) how do I balance work, school, a child, my wife, and my creative work all at the same time?  :noidea:

[XMan]

Awesome.

No clue how you handle it all, but still, awesome. 

Best wishes.

X

[vwrw]

A) I have no idea how to be a father and b) how do I balance work, school, a child, my wife, and my creative work all at the same time?  :noidea:

You are going to be an extremely busy guy for the following several years. Congratulation!

[Faux Pas]

So my wife left a few days ago to visit her family in the Ukraine, so Its me and the dog here missing her. She calls me today and tells me "Your Wife is pregnant"  and this is wonderful news    and now I get to study for the bar exam in February with a pregnant wife  and suddenly it dawned on me. A) I have no idea how to be a father and b) how do I balance work, school, a child, my wife, and my creative work all at the same time?  :noidea:

Congrats on your great news and don't worry. Fatherhood like motherhood will come naturally for those willing to accept it. Balancing it all is a tough gig and taxing on your sanity. You'll get through that too. Enjoy as much of it as possible. One day you'll look back at the amazing job you did and wonder where the time went.

[Eduard]

Great news, and congratulations! Fatherhood is a great joy! It gives your life a whole new dimension, like nothing else in life!
Yes, it's going to be a lot of work, but it's all worth it. I started having kids late in life. I am 50 yo and have a 4 yo and a 1 yo! I'll be working till I die! LOL. But I wouldn't change a thing!
Enjoy it, this is what life is about.
Ed

[Steamer]

I have no idea how to be a father

Remember to keep some food in your stomach because you'll be drinking for 3 now.

Congrats!

[viking]

No one "knows" how to be a father. Dont read any books except for your school. They will just cost you money and tell you things that will come very naturally. Somehow it all works out. And the next thing you know you child will be in school and you will wonder where all the time went. Just enjoy every momnt. Its precious. I wish you and your family good luck.

Oh...when the baby is crying, you wife is stressed out, a final exam is coming, bad day at work....this is why god created bars.   

[ECOCKS]

Congratulations!

Coincidentally, my youngest son asked for me to meet him for breakfast yesterday yesterday where I learned I will finally become a grandfather.

Amidst trials and tribulations, frustration and exhaustion, I assure you being a father has it's rewards.

Enjoy!

[Gator]

I have no idea how to be a father and b) how do I balance work, school, a child, my wife, and my creative work all at the same time? 

Congratulations!

Been there, done that.  Great time of your life.

Work - probably the most demanding, especially being in private law practice with its demands for billable hours.  Yet you must not forget the family - some men do forget and realize too late the mistake.


School - let this one slide unless mandatory.


Child - Hug and hold them every day, talk with them (not to them) every day, go to all soccer games/recitals and smile even though they can not dribble or carry a tune.  Your wife as your partner could pick up the slack, yet do your best so that the child looks to both of you.

Wife - Hug and hold her every day, talk with her (not to her), do something with her that she likes.


Creative work - WTF is this!   You don't have a lot of time for it.

[Boethius]

Congratulations.

[Shadow]

This is a terrible thing for you. In a few months you will be without sleep, having to manage your wife, baby and still do the job and study. You might as well give up now.  :evil:

Sorry that was the father of a nearly two-month and a 18-month old speaking... but I can tell you that the joys does weigh up to all the bad things.

Your mood can be down because you are tired and doing your best to keep that little @#@! baby in your arms silent so your wife will get an hour of sleep.....then he smiles and for a moment you forget everything around you, and get all the strength you need.

Ok while you are preparing let me give you a tip for the clueless newborn parents.

There is a book written by William and Martha Sears, The Baby Book. We bought it a few months after our first born, and got a lot of information from it, enough to consider buying the other ones in their series.

The book is published both in English and in Russian, I would advise to buy it in both languages unless there is sufficient knowledge present to read and understand.

Now for some thing they never tell you....
- Morning sickness does not have to disappear. It might stay the whole pregnancy and not be limited to mornings
- Let your wife listen to her body. If she wants to eat, eat, if she does not, let her eat less.
- The first time the baby kicks, it feels like bubbles in the stomach. With a second child, she will notice it much earlier
- If she during pregnancy suddenly discovers a hard place in the chest, or gets pain, do not worry. Its the milk building.
- Pregnant women are not radiating with joy the whole day. You will need to support her in every way.
- She will NEVER look fat. NEVER. Even if she has the appearance and walking abilities of a penguin.

I could go on... but will give others the opportunity to chime in.

Oh and... congratulations.

[Blues Fairy]

Congratulations, wonderful news!

Key thing: DON'T STRESS!
The less you and wife stress yourself over this, the calmer the kid will be, eventually. Nature has wisely adapted human beings to raising offspring in the optimal way, unless human beings make a huge problem out of it. 

[FredC]

Congratulations........Remember the stress of meeting her for the first time, becoming engaged, getting the visa, her arrival, the wedding, etc.......All of those passed, and remember this stress will pass too. Also remember, there's still more stresses coming, its called life.....lol

[erudite]

On the other hand, your sex life will suffer a great deal most likely. It is one of the "trade offs" for the benefit you are getting. But what the heck, that is life!

[Eduard]

On the other hand, your sex life will suffer a great deal most likely. It is one of the "trade offs" for the benefit you are getting. But what the heck, that is life!

actually some women become highly sexual during pregnancy...    you also do not need any birth control during this time. Orgasms are very good for a woman because her uterus gets the stretching exercises needed for the birth of a baby. But you need to ease off closer to the time because powerful orgasms can set off premature birth. On the other hand if the baby is a bit late good sex will trigger the birth of a child. Another nice thing that some people don't know about, is that while a woman is breast feeding a baby she usually doesn't have her period!

[remiel6]

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I suppose I should clarify, right now work and school are the same as I am on an externship for my last semester.
I take the Bar exam in February. That is what I have to study for
and my mother is estatic because she was starting to give up hope on ever being a grandmother.

[erudite]

actually some women become highly sexual during pregnancy...    you also do not need any birth control during this time. Orgasms are very good for a woman because her uterus gets the stretching exercises needed for the birth of a baby. But you need to ease off closer to the time because powerful orgasms can set off premature birth. On the other hand if the baby is a bit late good sex will trigger the birth of a child. Another nice thing that some people don't know about, is that while a woman is breast feeding a baby she usually doesn't have her period!

Ed, I was just explaining what will happen AFTER the baby arrives.

[Eduard]

Ed, I was just explaining what will happen AFTER the baby arrives.

sorry, Erudite, I misunderstood! You are right, after the baby arrives he will have to go sleepless and sexless for a while    but still when that baby smiles at you, it's all worth it IMO!

[GQBlues]

Congratulations remiel!

The timing's great if you can pass the bar exam on 2/11. That should give you 4+/-  months to prepare for the baby!

Wonderful news!

[remiel6]

Never thought of it that way. Of course the baby may be here before I find out if I passed the bar or not lol.

[GQBlues]

Yeah, true, but the odds are much better that this will fall into place perfectly.

If it means anything to you at all, my buddy went through the same thing a bit over 10 years ago. So he's a 10-yr practioner with a 10 year old daughter :-) Unlike you, he had a back-to-back 60 day countdown (baby was due 2 months after his exam). One month after, he got offerred a paid internship by a firm located in that lone tall building east of the 405 freeway between the Marina and Sta Monica frwy. I can't recall the name of the firm.

Today, he's gone upscale and is working at one of the towers in the heart of Century City. It'll happen to you, too. So you have much, much to be excited and be inspired about. This will definitely be a fun and great moment in your lives...

I hope it's a girl! Good luck!

[remiel6]

my wife remains cryptically silent about whether she wants a boy or a girl.
Me I am not sure myself, but I'll put you down for 1 vote for a girl

[acctBill]

Congrats remiel.  While your wife is away now would be a good time to start prepping for the baby.  Set up baby's room, lots of time to renovate.  Start thinking about how to baby proof the house.  As the father of three I can testify it is better to do most of these things too early rather than too late.   

[groovlstk]

Congratulations Remiel, it's good to hear things are going well for you guys and soon to get even better.

[Vaughn]

This is fabulous news...  Congratulations !!

Nary a reply has mentioned the dog - so I will...
 
Don't forget to feed that dog.  

During the first few years of my first marriage, I was a fulltime college student, working
nights, juggling bills - and trying to not miss the fun stuff: ski trips, for example. They
were great times - but being young my wife and I spent too much time dwelling on how
tough we had it. We weren't even expecting a child then.

Believe me when I say I feel your joy. Book it hard. And love your family each day like there's no tomorrow.