Hello! Need your wisdom opinion

[Smile_too]

Hello everybody!
I am new for RWD but as for me personally I am at internet-search near 2 years (I mean serious relationships which can lead to the family) so I can't say that I have a great experience but at the same time I do understand already that to send money for somebody virtual who fell ill suddenly more than silly.
Here I did came to get an advice.

Although in spite of my own search I am still unmarried I wanted to introduce my good friend Waria. She is going to start her searching.  The situation is exactly looks so: she has no internet (can only come to me to use it) and she doesn't know English (has only the wish to learn).
So just now I translate her letters and sometimes speak at chat instead of her. So I have a question - can it be a real way or it is impossible to build good relations using a go-between.
May be some ideas how to improve what we do....or may be better to stop?


Thanks for all statements

Olga (or may be Waria)

[veritas]

Olga and Waria!  You'll get lots of good advice from both men and women here ...

Kevin

[Smile_too]

Thank you Kevin for your reply...glad to get warm welcome.
Does it mean that this topic only for introductions?
I have to write my  questions  somewhere  else (another topic)?

[veritas]

Thank you Kevin for your reply...glad to get warm welcome.
Does it mean that this topic only for introductions?
I have to write my  questions  somewhere  else (another topic)?

No, I think this topic will be OK for you ... If I'm mistaken, the moderators will correct both of us ...

Kevin

[Turboguy]

Welcome to the forum.  Guys here are very good at trying to help and most have a lot of experience to draw from.  You could ask your questions in this section of the forum but "Starting Out" might be the most appropriate place.

[Chelseaboy]

Hello Olga/Waria,

                         Well,men communicate with girls through a third party the majority of the time,when they use agencies in their search.If the girl doesn't know English well enough to communicate herself,then it's a sensible option.
Provided you write or chat using the EXACT words she says,then i don't see any problem.
Problems arise when the third party writes letters,or chats, on behalf of girls,in which the said girl does not have 100% input,which happens all too often in agencies : ((
Good luck to both of you in your search.

[Smile_too]

hmmm...yes I have a doubt that I put my vision on her likes or dislikes...not fully her choose and as a result not good match

if you please a little more about a translater with you at the meeting or during chating. What is it like???? Is it possible to feel yourself comfortable if you are not alone???? the words of love from translater???? ok not words of love but at least the flirting jokes or signs

men don't mind the woman doesn't know language? it can't be a barrier?

[ECOCKS]

My advice would be to list yourselves on Elena's Models. Write good profiles explaining what sort of man and life you wish for the future. Explain your interests and those things you enjoy doing honestly and clearly. Work on your English in our chatroom (look on the blue bar just below the Search box) and via Skype.

If the two of you can help each other it should be more fun and give you the chance to avoid the men who are not serious or truly interested in long term relationships.

Best of luck and Welcome to RWD!

[Smile_too]

Thank you ECOCKS for good luck and wellcome!
  seems you are a manager of Elena's Models... are you sure we can compete at the EM?

you see the problem is a little like: Waria has not opportunity to use the internet. She comes to me we look quickly what she has at the mail...if we have time I write quickly what she says, but nevertheless the reply is late in time and when the man asks about skype usually she is not near.
  so sometimes I use chatroom to speak - but this is my way of speaking and my thoughts may be she can tell the same but more genle way or more strict (I don't know)

as for my own profile seems that I need a time-out

"to avoid the men who are not serious or truly interested in long term relationships." - very interesting... any ready rulers?

[Smile_too]

Turboguy thank you
Nice to hear welcome

[Shadow]

Hi Olga and Walria.

First of all there is nothing wring with using someone to help out, and while not perfect I think your language is well enough to communicate.

As for the search not being successful, the main thing is the same as for the men who try this method. Before finding, first you have to know what you are searching for.
Then you have to take a good look in the mirror, and with a friend to compare notes that should not be too hard.

As for using an interpreter, it will always be hard as conversation can never become spontaneous unless there is some understanding of each others language.
Just imagine Walria making a quick joke on something the man say, and the two of you bursting in laughter... then you have to translate the joke, and hope you will at least get a smile from the guy...
Fortunately I can say from experience that using a language is the best way to get skills. By chatting you, and probably even Walria, will be able to improve and reach a level where communications will become fluent.

[ECOCKS]

Thank you ECOCKS for good luck and wellcome!
  seems you are a manager of Elena's Models... are you sure we can compete at the EM?

you see the problem is a little like: Waria has not opportunity to use the internet. She comes to me we look quickly what she has at the mail...if we have time I write quickly what she says, but nevertheless the reply is late in time and when the man asks about skype usually she is not near.
  so sometimes I use chatroom to speak - but this is my way of speaking and my thoughts may be she can tell the same but more genle way or more strict (I don't know)

as for my own profile seems that I need a time-out

"to avoid the men who are not serious or truly interested in long term relationships." - very interesting... any ready rulers?

No, I mean the chatroom at RWD, this site.

Elena's Models is generally the most recommended site by members of this board. A number of us, myself included, met our wives there. It is a handy, easily accessible site for putting your profile and pictures.

[JR]

Welcome Smile_Too   

Anything sincere is usually acceptable )))

[TheTraveler]

Hello everybody!
I am new for RWD but as for me personally I am at internet-search near 2 years (I mean serious relationships which can lead to the family) so I can't say that I have a great experience but at the same time I do understand already that to send money for somebody virtual who fell ill suddenly more than silly.
Here I did came to get an advice.

Although in spite of my own search I am still unmarried I wanted to introduce my good friend Waria. She is going to start her searching.  The situation is exactly looks so: she has no internet (can only come to me to use it) and she doesn't know English (has only the wish to learn).
So just now I translate her letters and sometimes speak at chat instead of her. So I have a question - can it be a real way or it is impossible to build good relations using a go-between.
May be some ideas how to improve what we do....or may be better to stop?


Thanks for all statements

Olga (or may be Waria)

Hi Olga and welcome to RWD!  Since your friend doesn't speak or understand English, I'd suggest that she just stick with the emails and forget about the online chatting and telephone calls for now.

When my future wife and I were communicating, I did not speak Russian well, and she similarly did not speak English well.

So she generally emailed me in Russian and I wrote to her in English.  Communication is much more natural in the native language, and the person on the receiving end can do the translation.  I was studying Russian while we were writing, but I also used translation software (ProMT) and the occasional help of some Russian friends.  Nowadays, it's somewhat easier with free online translation engines.

Before my future wife and I met in person, I don't think we ever spoke on the phone... or maybe we did just once.  But it was just too difficult.  If some chemistry develops between your friend and a guy(s), hopefully a meeting will occur where the relationship can blossom.

Hope this helps!

[I/O]

So I have a question - can it be a real way or it is impossible to build good relations using a go-between.

In my view, "relations" can and often are built this way but "relationships" are near impossible to build this way.

Translators and other "go betweens" may (not for me) have a place in the very early stages of introductions but I am yet to see a marriage or other long term relationship which relied on a "middle person" for more than a few letters or a handful of meetings.

[FredC]

Welcome ladies ,

I think some good advice has been given already.

The one thing that I would add is to be sure to tell any man that contacts Waria that she is having a friend translate her letters. You don't want any misunderstandings if she actually meets someone.

When I have visitted and talk with my fiancee we use a translator. It takes some getting use to but can be done. I also recommend that she just use on line translators for her emails. That is what we do, she writes in Russian and I write in English and we both use on line translators. It is about 90% effective.

[Manny]

Hello Olga.

If your friend is serious about a foreign husband, she needs to start learning English as her first priority. Better she works on that first and does the profile later.

[GQBlues]

Hello Olga.

If your friend is serious about a foreign husband, she needs to start learning English as her first priority. Better she works on that first and does the profile later.

+1.

As for the question of feasibility, many folks had used interpreters/translators as a mediator between two people in the past so that's an acceptable part of this venture. Some folks had even engaged the possibility of a relationship, even marriage, despite the lack of a common language and had worked through it within their means.

But from her POV, the more learned she becomes with the language, IMO, the more choices she'll afford herself. She may be limiting herself to 'secondary candidates' (or worst) for the simple reason prime candidates may not want to get involved with a woman who doesn't speak English.

Lastly, since neither of you are listed in any agency, it will be worth your while to get yourself acquainted, or read up about, a US law called 'IMBRA'.

[TheTraveler]

But from her POV, the more learned she becomes with the language, IMO, the more choices she'll afford herself. She may be limiting herself to 'secondary candidates' (or worst) for the simple reason prime candidates may not want to get involved with a woman who doesn't speak English.

Fundamentally, I agree with your advice for her to learn English.  As you said, it affords her more choices.

On the other hand, when I started searching for my future-wife 11 years ago, I understood Russian well enough to effectively communicate with almost any Russian girl.  As a consequence, a girl's ability to speak English was not something that even made my top 10 list of qualities that I was looking for.  Also, I preferred a small-town girl, and so I recognized that my future girl would likely have limited opportunities to learn & practice English.

So I'd imagine one could make a pretty good argument that a guy who is sufficiently bilingual has a bigger dating pool... and is therefore a "prime candidate".

It just depends on your viewpoint, I guess.

[GQBlues]

So I'd imagine one could make a pretty good argument that a guy who is sufficiently bilingual has a bigger dating pool... and is therefore a "prime candidate".

Without a doubt! Just as it will be for a woman, hence the advise....

[Smile_too]

Hi Olga and Walria.

First of all there is nothing wring with using someone to help out, and while not perfect I think your language is well enough to communicate.

As for the search not being successful, the main thing is the same as for the men who try this method. Before finding, first you have to know what you are searching for.
Then you have to take a good look in the mirror, and with a friend to compare notes that should not be too hard.

As for using an interpreter, it will always be hard as conversation can never become spontaneous unless there is some understanding of each others language.
Just imagine Walria making a quick joke on something the man say, and the two of you bursting in laughter... then you have to translate the joke, and hope you will at least get a smile from the guy...
Fortunately I can say from experience that using a language is the best way to get skills. By chatting you, and probably even Walria, will be able to improve and reach a level where communications will become fluent.

Thank you Shadow for your opinion / Shall put in the mind certainly

[Smile_too]

Welcome Smile_Too   

Anything sincere is usually acceptable )))

JR Hi for you too.
 

[Smile_too]

Hi Olga and welcome to RWD!  Since your friend doesn't speak or understand English, I'd suggest that she just stick with the emails and forget about the online chatting and telephone calls for now.

When my future wife and I were communicating, I did not speak Russian well, and she similarly did not speak English well.
So she generally emailed me in Russian and I wrote to her in English.  Communication is much more natural in the native language, and the person on the receiving end can do the translation.  I was studying Russian while we were writing, but I also used translation software (ProMT) and the occasional help of some Russian friends.  Nowadays, it's somewhat easier with free online translation engines.
Before my future wife and I met in person, I don't think we ever spoke on the phone... or maybe we did just once.  But it was just too difficult.  If some chemistry develops between your friend and a guy(s), hopefully a meeting will occur where the relationship can blossom.

Hope this helps!

Yes it sounds optimistic.
How to avoid chating at a polite way? How to refuse to speak by phone with out risk  to cause suspicion that you are not a  player?

[Smile_too]

In my view, "relations" can and often are built this way but "relationships" are near impossible to build this way.

Translators and other "go betweens" may (not for me) have a place in the very early stages of introductions but I am yet to see a marriage or other long term relationship which relied on a "middle person" for more than a few letters or a handful of meetings.

Thank you I/O - glad you replyed

[Smile_too]

Welcome ladies ,

I think some good advice has been given already.

The one thing that I would add is to be sure to tell any man that contacts Waria that she is having a friend translate her letters. You don't want any misunderstandings if she actually meets someone.

When I have visitted and talk with my fiancee we use a translator. It takes some getting use to but can be done. I also recommend that she just use on line translators for her emails. That is what we do, she writes in Russian and I write in English and we both use on line translators. It is about 90% effective.

Thank you FredC - good idea about on line traslators. We use them...only she is not sure about the quality of the traslated texts. May be really better to write in russian? But if to put at profile that she doesn't know even English I think not many will start to speak with her.