more single men than women article

[civi68]

If you wondered why women don't reply on local internet sites and seem fickle,
or the clubs are two to one guys, it is all about the law of supply and demand.
Not to mention that 70% of women are overweight.
http://www.livescience.com/culture/women-shortage-men-commit-100915.html

[Shostakovich]

If you wondered why women don't reply on local internet sites and seem fickle,
or the clubs are two to one guys, it is all about the law of supply and demand.
Not to mention that 70% of women are overweight.
http://www.livescience.com/culture/women-shortage-men-commit-100915.html

Worthy as sociological studies like this are, to me they are just another reason to stay a head of the curve - where population stats do not define your life.

[kievstar]

Clubs here in Texas have a lot more women in them than men.  Same thing in Chicago, Brussels, Zurich, Shanghai. Sao Paulo, Kiev and Detroit.  I have lived in all cities mentioned.

Most men are fat as well.

#1 reason men go to Ukraine or Russia is for the age gap as there not going to marry in current country with big age gap a very good looking woman.  

[JR]

If you lack self-confidence you can be the only man a room full of women and go home alone.

If you believe in yourself you can be in a room full of men and just a few women and still get the date.

[Nat]

May be I should start packing to Las Vegas 

[ML]

May be I should start packing to Las Vegas 

Quote JR:  "If you lack self-confidence you can be the only man a room full of women and go home alone.  If you believe in yourself you can be in a room full of men and just a few women and still get the date."

= = = =

Both Nat and JR have valid points.

However, I would still go with Nat's idea.

Use all of your strengths, etc., but it still makes sense to always go with the odds when you have a chance to do so.

All else being equal and given freedom to go to various places for visit or permanent move, it makes a lot of sense for women to go where there is shortage of women and for men to go where there is a shortage of men.

If one really had the time and the info was available, this could be further sliced and diced to hone in on the age group and perhaps education level that you were interested in.

[Nat]

Quote JR:  "If you lack self-confidence you can be the only man a room full of women and go home alone.  If you believe in yourself you can be in a room full of men and just a few women and still get the date."

Yeah, right, what is JR doing going there and back to Ukraine all the time then? 

[JR]

Yeah, right, what is JR doing going there and back to Ukraine all the time then? 

I went once, how is that "all the time?" The FSU is an option, that is all.

I you're a man and you want a target rich environment go to a mall, any mall and the ratio of women to men will be somewhere between 3 to 100 women for every man, just be prepared to look at a lot of women's shoes

[Al_C]

Clubs here in Texas have a lot more women in them than men.  Same thing in Chicago, Brussels, Zurich, Shanghai. Sao Paulo, Kiev and Detroit.  I have lived in all cities mentioned.

Most men are fat as well.

#1 reason men go to Ukraine or Russia is for the age gap as there not going to marry in current country with big age gap a very good looking woman.  

I can say the same for clubs in New York.  But how many of those women are looking for a good man, compared to how many are just out to soak a man for a few drinks and maybe a free dinner?  The issue is not how many women there are, how many attractive and/or slim women there are, but instead how many potential good wives there are.  The lack of that last category is what drove me out of the clubs and on to the airplane to Moscow.

[JR]

I can say the same for clubs in New York.  But how many of those women are looking for a good man, compared to how many are just out to soak a man for a few drinks and maybe a free dinner?  The issue is not how many women there are, how many attractive and/or slim women there are, but instead how many potential good wives there are.  The lack of that last category is what drove me out of the clubs and on to the airplane to Moscow.

Did you immediately go to the clubs in Moscow looking for a wife? The pond you're fishing in has a lot to do with the fish you'll catch....

The women in Moscow are little different than the women in New York.

[Nat]

I went once, how is that "all the time?" The FSU is an option, that is all.

Only once? Times to FSU: 4-10 - isn't that yours?

[Jumper]

Nat-  lol good eye..

Pretty sure JR has been to Moscow ,and Tashkent , at least
 :0

but to be fair , JR always readily admits why he is going ,
 for younger /prettier . .

[Nat]

Nat-  lol good eye..

Pretty sure JR has been to Moscow ,and Tashkent , at least
 :0

And Donetsk too

but to be fair , JR always readily admits why he is going ,
 for younger /prettier . .

Ha, if I was going to Las Vegas, I'd also be going for more handsome (I'm not sure about younger though)  

[kievstar]

JR said once to Ukraine.  Those others places you mentioned are not Ukraine.  Go back and read what JR wrote.

[Jumper]

JR said once to Ukraine.  Those others places you mentioned are not Ukraine.  Go back and read what JR wrote.

I did.
He wrote:

I went once, how is that "all the time?" The FSU is an option, that is all.

You are correct that technically he was replying to Nat, who stated Ukraine,
(although its easy enough to understand she was referring to the generality of traveling far abroad to find a mate, and a RW in the context of JR prior comments and this thread .. yes?)
but he did answer FSU.


Kievstar ,we are just busting JR's arse a bit,
 

 i think in a friendly way.. ?

How about  reading JRs original statement.. which i agree with,
and Nats reply?

I simply acknowledge that Nat brings up a valid point.
I travel as well.. and that for  any confident man capable of  JR's observation  , there is not much need to travel.It's an oddity.
She has every right to question the sanity of that....be that me,JR or you..?

(i gather you worked there,which indeed is a bit more natural,but then you used agencies which while working there long term,  seems equally at once both reasonable and yet odd )

Really i don't think Nat, myself,  or JR is sweating the details,  as much as it might appear.
He has always been pretty good at taking things in stride ,or understanding it's mostly in jest..
 

[Eduard]

If you lack self-confidence you can be the only man a room full of women and go home alone.

If you believe in yourself you can be in a room full of men and just a few women and still get the date.

I agree with you, self-confidence is very important. On the other hand a man's self-confidence can take a real beating when you get turned down by women you approach day after day for a year or two. I haven't been single since age 20 and when I became single at the tender age of 42 or 43 it was an eye opening experience. I thought that I would have a ball dating women, feeling good about myself and in control. I owned my nice house mortgage free, drove a beautiful late model Nissan 300ZX, had an interesting careere, worked out every day, took marshal arts and was not a bad looking guy, in good shape, although not the Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise type.
I was actively seeking dates on match.com and yahoo personals, also tried CL, I went to book stores, museums, night clubs, dance clubs, festivals, concerts, art shows, you name it. I approached attractive women using all these venues only to be turned down every time. I was occasionally approached by women who weren't attractive to me. I went out with a couple. They were totally into me and would have done anything for me. They weren't fat, but they were "thick", not very attractive face (to me) and although they wanted to jump my bones on the first date I had to say "no" since I didn't see any future with them. One time when I went to a dance club I did meet a stunning girl, about 28. I was instantly infatuated by her beautiful face and incredible body. We went out, she had a very controlling personality, it was all about her. We had to listen to the songs she liked and she demanded that I sing along with her to the radio, then she invited me to her place where we had to lay on the couch and watch her favorite show - "All in the family". I couldn't read her signals clearly and didn't want to make any moves, unless she gave me a clear indication that it was OK. Nothing happened and we didn't go out any more...maybe I didn't read her signals right... but I saw her a few years later when I was already married. Her boyfriend or husband was driving and she was loudly yelling at him. The look of despair on his face was worth a thousand words. Maybe I just got lucky. I think she married a doctor. I had a choice of cougars around 50yo (I live in a retirement community after all, so what can you expect?) but knowing that there probably won't be any desire on my part to have any intimacy I turned them all down. After about a year of all that "excitement" I did date one Russian woman who lived in Orlando, FL for about a month.  I knew from date one that this wouldn't turn into a relationship, because she had a real bitchy personality, but she was very attractive and I was desperate for some serious boot knocking at that point. She was the only truly memorable date I had in almost 2 years of being single, but every time I'd get together with her I was kicking myself in the butt for compromising and settling for such a bitch. I finally ended that relationship and was alone again. I did have some interest from midwestern women on match and yahoo. They were my type and I was theirs, but they had their careers and were unwilling to move to Florida, and I absolutely loved (and still do) my lifestyle here in Tampa Bay and was unwilling to move to Illinois or Michigan somewhere.

When I went to Russia, things were 180 degree different. The women were slim and beautiful. They also looked at me with definite interest and were flirting mercilessly. My first experience after coming back to Russia (after not being there for about 25 years) was with a stunning blond, 22 year old medical student. Sexy as hell, but after a week of being together I realised that 22 is jut too young and mentally we were the world apart. Meeting women in Russia was so easy and they were beautiful, the type that wouldn't even give me the second look in Florida. I was even contemplating moving back to Moscow (where I was born and raised) at this point. My self-confidence went back to where it used to be, I felt great once again. The feeling I almost forgot from my single days in SW Florida. It's like you feel completely different over there because of this. But one thing I realised was that if I moved there I probably wouldn't be able to settle with just one girl and become a serial dater like many other local RM. You really do feel like a kid in a candy store there and it becomes like "I want to taste this one, now that one, now the other one", and the thing is that it is possible and real over there. I mean you would have to be a complete looser drug addict, street bum not to have a nice looking woman in Russia, in my experience. Why is it so? I think it's the ratio of men to women, but I had gotten enough flack for saying this here in the past so I'm not even going to get into that.

I was 43 at that time and really felt like I was ready to settle down and have a family. I really missed having children at that time of my life. Therefore I decided that moving to Moscow would probably be not a good idea and that I should find me a nice, attractive, family oriented girl, who also wants family more than anything and bring her to Florida. I found my Siberian cutie in about 3 months and after a couple of visits we knew that we wanted to be together. We were married in about a year and are now raising 2 beautiful kids together. Life is good.

But I know that my experience of dating in the USA is not unique. I talk to many AM who tell me pretty much the same story. And I don't blame them for the lack of confidence because of my own experience.

[civi68]

I heard the same thing over the years, lack of confidence. For me, it was more of getting tired of doing it. Here is an interesting article I found a few years ago.

Adam Rosen has a law degree from Villanova and trained in psychology at Harvard. He's also handsome and has a passion for social causes. But there's one thing the 37-year-old bachelor doesn't have in his life: candidates to be Mrs. Rosen.
'I thought I'd be married by 30. This is a great divergence from what I imagined my life would be.'
There's a new biological clock out there - the one ticking inside bachelors. After decades in which men statistically had the upper hand in the dating world, the demographics have reversed: For a big chunk of the dating pool - people ages 30 to 44 - the number of single men and women are now about even, or in some cases, slightly tipped in women's favor. The odds are especially dismal for men looking for younger mates: By 2010, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, men in their late 30s and early 40s will outnumber women five to 10 years younger by two to one.
What's happening here is a subtle but significant change in the birth rate. While the numbers of men and women born every year are roughly the same, the overall birthrate dropped 40% from 1955 to 1973. Because more than half of all men marry younger women, that means their pool of prospects shrinks a bit every year. "The tables have turned," says Sherry Cooper, an economist who has written about demographic shifts. "Guys in that 35-year-old range are going to have a harder time."
Matchmakers and dating companies are already seeing the impact. Social Circles, a New York singles group, has seen membership among 35-to 44-year old men soar 25-fold since it started in 1997, while women in the same age group grew at about half that rate. At It's Just Lunch, which pairs professionals, the percentage of female membership dropped 9% in the last three years. And online firm Match.com is so anxious to recruit women, it started a new ad campaign to find more. The pitch: Women no longer have to rely on "fate" or "destiny" to find the right mate.
"We're all chasing after the same women," says Jim Hague, a 33-year-old Web designer from California who says he got only a handful of daily e-mails from some online services. His female friends, however, got 200 e-mails a day. "They can easily delete you," Mr. Hague says. Indeed, 40-year-old Suzanne Mulroy got so many e-mails from her service that she put it on hold. "I thought I'd get a response," Ms. Mulroy says, "but I didn't think I was going to get this deluge."
All of which, of course, is a significant shift from the 1980s; at the start of that decade, for example, there were about 1.3 women for every eligible man from 35 to 44. The odds were even better for the narrower group of men in their late 30s dating women in their early 30s: Almost two women for every single man. Many people still remember the 1986 Newsweek article that famously, if controversially, declared that a single, college-educated, 40-year-old woman had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than of ever tying the knot.
But in the years since, the odds have gotten worse for the one-time supermale. Far from an abundance of bachelorettes, today there's a small shortage - for every million thirtysomething women, there is a surplus of 80,000 men of the same age. Men looking for younger women will find even more competition: Within nine years, there will be one woman 30 to 34 for every two men 35 to 44, according to one set of projections by the U.S. Census.
How did this shift occur? For starters, with more women than men on the dating scene, men played the field and postponed marriage - sometimes until their 40s, much later than previous generations. (The percentage of 35- to 44-year-old bachelors almost tripled from 1980 to 2000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Surveys.) Thinking they had tons of options, especially as divorce rates grew, some men got pickier, too, demanding not only good looks but also good jobs from their mates. That narrowed the field even more: By one estimate, men in their early 30s making $75,000 or more outnumber women of the same earning power two to one.
All the while, pop culture only perpetuated the belief that men had the advantage, with shows like "Sex and the City" and novels like "Bridget Jones's Diary" harping on themes of the desperate, single woman. And lots of people still believe it. "Men feel they have the upper hand," says Lisa Doherty, a 40-year-old public-relations executive. When she's gone on dates, Ms. Doherty says men have told her they want a younger woman.
But slowly, evidence of the shift is cropping up. Take personal ads, the quintessential dating device of the '80s and '90s. While the ratio of men to women placing ads varies from city to city, many towns are seeing notable jumps in male advertisers. At Chicago Magazine, for example, the percent of personals placed by women skidded 38% in just two years. During the past three years, the percentage of men placing personal ads in the Cleveland Plain Dealer jumped 14%, according to People2People Group, a firm that creates personals.
Other men are going where experts say they need to - older women. When Match.com polled its members earlier this year, the company discovered that its average male client is now willing to date a woman three years his senior, up from two a few years ago. At It's Just Lunch, men 35 to 43 are now asking to date women 36 to 40 - up about four years from a decade ago. 
So when will things get better for members of the lonely hearts men's club? Not until the generation born in the late 1970s and early 1980s comes of marriageable age, according to demographers. By then, higher birthrates will tip the scales back in men's favor. About 2005, experts say it'll be rich pickings for men who now are in their early 20s.

[Eduard]

this makes plenty of sense. I think that the situation in the FSU is exactly the opposite hence a man has plenty of choices there.

[civi68]

An interesting observation I am finding on one of the paid Russian/foreign man sites I use is that Russian women are getting hundreds of letters, too. Most of the women tell me (I write to women from 34 to 47 and I am 42) they are getting hundreds of letters. For the men who think that Russian women prefer older men or that they have little choices, the women in their 40's tell me they get letters from men in their 20's, too, and can date a younger man. The women tell me that they have several choices of foreign men but they only like a few of them. Most have met various men. A friend of mine has a friend in his 60's who meets the women in their 50's. Even he has been facing competition and was surprised to see that several men are interested in the women he met. I guess what it comes down to is if a woman is attractive, she will have a lot of suitors until she loses her attractiveness. It seems that the women in their 40's with adult children are in demand from men of various ages. The women also tell me that it is very easy for European men to visit them. All it takes is a weekend train trip. So, for those of you who think that the FSU is where you will be in demand, maybe think again so you don't get fooled.

[Vinnvinny]

Quality men are in high demand whether they be from Europe or the USA. Men who don't wash so much and those with dubious character traits will be in low demand, wherever they are from.

[facetrock]

  I've always believed American dating sites had far more men than women. I dont care what part of the USA you are from its the same all over. Quality men and quality women have a habit of finding each other and its seldom through an American dating site. As far as women on the sites. After you delete all the land whales and flakes there isnt much left. The same can be said for men. The blubber boys and control freaks love those places. IMHO its pretty much a waste of time especially if your in a less populated area.

[Lily]

facetrock, I probably wouldn't be that strict in saying that people on the sites are of somehow less than good quality.

About a habit to find and attract people besides of any online tools, this would not be a habit but rather a lucky occurrence. Everyone's life is different, and the mere fact that someone is single at that given time does not tell that he or she is no good.

Dating sites are comfortable for someone who would be willing to work a little and to give it a try. By placing a profile on a site, people declare their availability at least, whereas in real life this is not visible. If we are hungry, we go to supermarket or cafe. If we need clothes, we go to a mall or boutique. If we are single and would like to change it, we go to the dating sites to see, who else would be available. It is as simple as that

[Misha]

Quality men and quality women have a habit of finding each other and its seldom through an American dating site.

True, most people find their spouses at school or college and then work. If neither is an option, then people look elsewhere including dating sites 

[GQBlues]

I honestly can say that I've never really spent time on dating sites back when I was single. There was a time when AOL chatrooms was big and thought that was fun for a short time, but then it became a freak show.

Online dating to me, FWIW, while it has it's purpose and merits, do take away one big segment in social interaction ( the most fun and important part for me)....the very first time two people meet/speak and the play that happens shortly before, during and after the encounter. I remember I would get such a rush everytime it happens that I more than look forward to it everyday and was always out creating opportunities.

Meeting women, especially beautiful women, was such a huge rush for me...that and basketball were my personal drug. I was hopelessly addicted to those two.

[Eduard]

An interesting observation I am finding on one of the paid Russian/foreign man sites I use is that Russian women are getting hundreds of letters, too. Most of the women tell me (I write to women from 34 to 47 and I am 42) they are getting hundreds of letters. For the men who think that Russian women prefer older men or that they have little choices, the women in their 40's tell me they get letters from men in their 20's, too, and can date a younger man. The women tell me that they have several choices of foreign men but they only like a few of them. Most have met various men. A friend of mine has a friend in his 60's who meets the women in their 50's. Even he has been facing competition and was surprised to see that several men are interested in the women he met. I guess what it comes down to is if a woman is attractive, she will have a lot of suitors until she loses her attractiveness. It seems that the women in their 40's with adult children are in demand from men of various ages. The women also tell me that it is very easy for European men to visit them. All it takes is a weekend train trip. So, for those of you who think that the FSU is where you will be in demand, maybe think again so you don't get fooled.

I don't think you are getting the true feel for what's going on in the FSU with dating dynamics. Sites like the one you are using represent a very minute percentage of FSU women, a fraction of 1 percent. The reality of dating for general population of women in the FSU is quite different! Women, age 34 through 47 "getting hundreds of letters" is not the reality outside of a MOB web site. With any MOB agency who markets their women to WM you have a few hundred of attractive women (large agency) or a few dozen in a smaller agency. And since most WM use this venue to contact RW, these women do get hundreds of letters from thousands of WM who are looking for FSU women. The situation is completely different for FSU women who are not on any MOB agency site.