Does she sound real to you?

[az28]

Hello everyone,  Newbie here.
     I'm in a bit of a situation and I would like some opinions of the more experienced group. 
     I signed up on several american online dating sites, usually just staying an unpaid guest, picking one at a time to try my luck at.  One of the unpaid ones sent me a message that i had gotten an email, so i checked it out.  It was someone suggesting I write her on a yahoo account.  The persons account on the site was cancelled, i assume because she sent me an alternate communication method and sites dont like that.  I figured what the hell, the worse that happens is I get another email full of links to dating sites that i can chuck in the junk folder.
     I sent her an email that frankly was less then suave saying 'Pardon me for thinking your a spambot, and feel free to tell me about yourself which will prove your a human being on the other end'.  To my surprise she responded.  It was obvious that while she knew english well enough to type it, it was broken english and Some of the things she typed out I had to scratch my head to deciper such as "For me it is unusual and unusual" and such.  She attached a picture that was modest and I found her attractive so I read her letter and responded.  She did not mention russia in her first email, her second without my saying anything or asking about it however, she admitted that She was in russia and wanted to know if that was a problem.  I said it wasnt, and I was still willing to talk to her at least. 
      We have been trading emails practically every day since then, and I think I can trust that shes genuine from the reasons i list below but I also have reasons that cause doubts So could use some opinions.

1)  She has sent me numerous photographs, none of them obscene or nude...this is obviously a big plus for her as I would think anyone trying to do a cash and grab for immigration purposes would be trying to push the sex angle. 

2)  Shes 32 years old.  From what I understand this is beyond 'old maid' in russia, but im 36 myself so this is not an issue for me.  However I think this means shes a bit desperate at this point.  Is this a reasonable assumption?

3)  She says she does not have a phone.  Is this common in the smaller towns?  She claims she is visiting an internet cafe, and that seems to be correct from the times shes reading and sending my messages but I find the lack of phone suspicious. 

4)I have hinted that I would love to meet her, but while she is being very forward in her emotional attachment via email she has not pushed for this..she has even avoided giving me her address when i offered to send her a present. 

5)  She has not asked for money.  I know better then to go this route, but does this tell me anything?  Are they usually smart about this or are they stupidly forward when they think they have a 'mark'. 

6)  Since this is not connected to any 'official' 'mail order bride' like company Does this make going forward with this relationship more or less risky from the possibility of an immigration sceme...


I'm perfectly aware that  I may be going overboard on the paranoia but obviously I kind of have to be.  I am aware that there are many ligitimate RW looking for husbands this way, but after dealing with american women I find it hard to believe that its this 'simple'.

Thanks for any advice.
   






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[I/O]

she admitted that She was in russia

Punishable by ..................... Americanizing?

[Faux Pas]

Hello everyone,  Newbie here.
     I'm in a bit of a situation and I would like some opinions of the more experienced group. 
     I signed up on several american online dating sites, usually just staying an unpaid guest, picking one at a time to try my luck at.  One of the unpaid ones sent me a message that i had gotten an email, so i checked it out.  It was someone suggesting I write her on a yahoo account.  The persons account on the site was cancelled, i assume because she sent me an alternate communication method and sites dont like that.  I figured what the hell, the worse that happens is I get another email full of links to dating sites that i can chuck in the junk folder.

Because of the manner in which you were contacted makes her (if it is a her) Highly suspect


     I sent her an email that frankly was less then suave saying 'Pardon me for thinking your a spambot, and feel free to tell me about yourself which will prove your a human being on the other end'.  To my surprise she responded.  It was obvious that while she knew english well enough to type it, it was broken english and Some of the things she typed out I had to scratch my head to deciper such as "For me it is unusual and unusual" and such.  She attached a picture that was modest and I found her attractive so I read her letter and responded.  She did not mention russia in her first email, her second without my saying anything or asking about it however, she admitted that She was in russia and wanted to know if that was a problem.  I said it wasnt, and I was still willing to talk to her at least. 
      We have been trading emails practically every day since then, and I think I can trust that shes genuine from the reasons i list below but I also have reasons that cause doubts So could use some opinions.

1)  She has sent me numerous photographs, none of them obscene or nude...this is obviously a big plus for her as I would think anyone trying to do a cash and grab for immigration purposes would be trying to push the sex angle. 

There is a slow bait and hook thing that goes on with many of these "scams"

2)  Shes 32 years old.  From what I understand this is beyond 'old maid' in russia, but im 36 myself so this is not an issue for me.  However I think this means shes a bit desperate at this point.  Is this a reasonable assumption?

If she is real, not really. Old to some, not to others

3)  She says she does not have a phone.  Is this common in the smaller towns?  She claims she is visiting an internet cafe, and that seems to be correct from the times shes reading and sending my messages but I find the lack of phone suspicious. 

Don't only run, throw rocks and run. The chances she could slip into the backdoor of a Western dating site yet, doesn't have a computer of her own is VERY remote. She's very likely lying, if she is real and not a fantasy

4)I have hinted that I would love to meet her, but while she is being very forward in her emotional attachment via email she has not pushed for this..she has even avoided giving me her address when i offered to send her a present. 

5)  She has not asked for money.  I know better then to go this route, but does this tell me anything?  Are they usually smart about this or are they stupidly forward when they think they have a 'mark'. 

You are a mark. You've believed her thus far. You have made the right choice to find RWD. Looks like you made it in time. There is a lot of reading and information for you here if Russian/Ukrainian women is your interest. Stick around and read the archives

6)  Since this is not connected to any 'official' 'mail order bride' like company Does this make going forward with this relationship more or less risky from the possibility of an immigration sceme...


I'm perfectly aware that  I may be going overboard on the paranoia but obviously I kind of have to be.  I am aware that there are many ligitimate RW looking for husbands this way, but after dealing with american women I find it hard to believe that its this 'simple'.

Thanks for any advice.
   

Your paranoia is warranted or you wouldn't be here. Quite honestly, she stinks to high heaven. There is a very small, slight remote chance she is sincere. My advice would be to cut contact completely and if you wish to meet "serious" RW/UW, stick around RWD and learn.

 

[Faux Pas]

Punishable by ..................... Americanizing?

I/O are you aware your avatar pic isn't visible?

[Daveman]

welcome az28, unfortunately with the situation as you describe there's about a 99.999999% chance this is a scam.  To drop an email and disappear on the website is common in such situations.  To not have a phone (but able to get on the internet) is not completely impossible, but highly implausible.  Their mobile phones are pretty much glued to their heads 24/7.  She may not have a home phone, but very unlikely that she doesn't have a mobile phone. Plus, if she's interested, she will find a way to speak to you.  For how long have you communicated via email?

From where does she write you?  Does she claim to write from an internet cafe? if so, check the header of the email for a mailer "The Bat  x.x" in there... that's a dead giveaway if she says she's writing from an inet cafe.  The Bat itself isn't a bad thing, but it's an email program similar to Outlook, only far more powerful.... and... no one would download their emails at a cafe.. they'd use the web portal.

Does she actually communicate with you or does she blather on endlessly about love and family in her letters?  Is she from an orphanage?  does she address you as "My Prince", or "My King", or something similar?  And no, they won't grab for the sex angle, they'll grab for the "I'm your perfect fantasy girl you've always been waiting for to fall madly in love with" angle.

It's a common scenario.. play along with it and see where it goes if you wish, but more than likely there's a money angle coming soon. Let's just say, I would be completely shocked if she is actually both female and sincere.  I don't think it's an immigration scheme at all..


ah.. I see others have already responded.. but I'll post this anyway.

[az28]

Shes using a yahoo mail account.  She claims to write from an internet cafe once a day.

Are mobile phones really that common even in small areas?  When you say money angle, is this just a 'send me money so i can visit you' thing?  If so I already know better then to do that.  But I've not exaggurated my income or anything, I've stressed that im not wealthy in any way, so would they keep persuing someone that way?  Would they actually put money out front for something like that?  Like if i said, you pay for the flight here, and I'll pay for your visit here, would they even be trying at that point? 

Any questions i could ask her that might prove or disprove my suspicions without being obvious about it?

[JohnDearGreen]

Hello everyone,  Newbie here.
     I'm in a bit of a situation and I would like some opinions of the more experienced group...

az:
       Why do you choose to let a lady choose you,  instead of you choosing a lady(s)?
If your list of requirements for a lady are more than a few, the chances of a random
lady who contacts you first being a better match for you than a few other ladies that you hand-pick from the dozens of web sites is very small.  You mention that you are pleased with her looks.   Is that your only requirement?  How about personality, interests, and various other things?

Does she sound real to you?

Ask what dating/agency sites she is on.  If you like her better than the other ladies on the site, continue on.  Otherwise choose someone else.

[Misha]

Are mobile phones really that common even in small areas? 

Yes.

[BillyB]

az28,
  It's normal to want something so bad but chances are you are wasting your time with that lady. You are on an American dating site and with all the international dating sites and marriage agencies out there, she chooses the wrong site to find a man. Why? Because American men not specifically looking for a woman overseas are the most naive to scammers and the almost zero chance of a young beautiful foreign women to get a visa to fly to their doorsteps.

She's got money for internet but not a phone? Not even a landline at home? It's best to have a policy of not taking any woman seriously that has no phone. Maybe she's a scammer or not smart enough to manage money to afford a phone. I don't think you want to get involved with either one.

Write to a number of women and get their phone numbers. Find one that is into you and keeps you busy on the phone and you'll someday look back at this thread and wonder why you wasted your time with that woman and this thread.

[Eduard]

the only questionable thing in my mind is whether this is a Nigerian scam or a Ukrainian one. I'd have to read her letter in Russian to tell for sure. But yahoo email is usually used by Nigerians. Hope this helps.
Ed

[Vaughn]

3)  She says she does not have a phone.  Is this common in the smaller towns? .....  I find the lack of phone suspicious.

Let me tell a quick story...   back in late July, my wife, stedaughter, sister-in-law and I took a long 2 hour ride in a shuttle bus
to a little village called Paran'ga - basically in the eastern part of the middle of nowhere in a Republic called Mari-El. The point
was to visit some relatives that had a farm out there. We traveled through countryside where riders would hop onto the bus,
and get off maybe 10 miles down the road. They didn't even speak Russian, but a dialect called Mari - so you can imagine how
far out of town we were. This woman boarded the bus. She was maybe early thirties with a young daughter - the two of them
were dressed like characters in Little House on the Prairie - ankle length dresses, high collars, tightly pulled back hair, and not
a trace of any makeup. After about 10 minutes pass, I hear (No Kidding) the notes to Woolly Bully by Sam the Sham & the Pharoahs
emanating from her little purse. Out comes the cellphone, she snaps it open and barks, "ALLO?"

At that very moment all the RWD threads about ladies not having a phone came to mind. If this lady had a cellphone,
then everybody's got one - or access to one. You're correct, it's suspicious ~ to the point of outlandishness.

[Daveman]

Shes using a yahoo mail account.  She claims to write from an internet cafe once a day.

Are mobile phones really that common even in small areas?  When you say money angle, is this just a 'send me money so i can visit you' thing?  If so I already know better then to do that.  But I've not exaggurated my income or anything, I've stressed that im not wealthy in any way, so would they keep persuing someone that way?  Would they actually put money out front for something like that?  Like if i said, you pay for the flight here, and I'll pay for your visit here, would they even be trying at that point? 

Any questions i could ask her that might prove or disprove my suspicions without being obvious about it?

How long have you been writing? are her letters overly romantic?  Try copy and pasting some of the "unusual phrasings' of her letters into google and see if you find a match.

[Eduard]

and you'll someday look back at this thread and wonder why you wasted your time with that woman and this thread.

if it is a woman... scammers and prodaters sometimes will give their number so a guy can "varify" that she "is for real". The fact that this one doesn' want to give the number could mean that it's a man or the number might be a Nigerian one... makes it harder to explain.
And FYI, practically every one over 15 in the FSU has a cell phone. And besides that a landline...

[Vaughn]

Try copy and pasting some of the "unusual phrasings' of her letters into google and see if you find a match.

If he googles "What a beautiful and wonderful my day has passed" - he just might find
one of my wife's old letters out there somewhere...  

[az28]

az:
       Why do you choose to let a lady choose you,  instead of you choosing a lady(s)?
If your list of requirements for a lady are more than a few, the chances of a random
lady who contacts you first being a better match for you than a few other ladies that you hand-pick from the dozens of web sites is very small.  You mention that you are pleased with her looks.   Is that your only requirement?  How about personality, interests, and various other things?

Well while i dont think ill be scaring small children as i walk past, I know im no pretty boy.  Also some social phobia issues have not given me many options in the past.  Of course personality/interests are all important factors to me, however I can't help but feel flattered and alot less pressured (even relieved) when a woman makes the first move.  It eliminates alot of doubts that cause me not to approach many women in the first place myself.  My requirements arent strict in the looks department, but ive had no luck to speak of on the dating sites, and far too many responses that are nothing but an invitation to look at 'my hawt naked pics' spammers.

I've had some relationships in the past that didnt work out for various valid reasons but I met those people through online interaction, so I'm not new to the risk of meeting someone for the first time.  I guess I'm just an ignorant american that still thinks much of russia is occupied by slightly poor, submissive, women who are happy to get away from vodka swilling russian men.  So it was easy to believe.

[BillyB]

if it is a woman... scammers and prodaters sometimes will give their number so a guy can "varify" that she "is for real".

If a guy calls often to a scammer/prodater to verify if she's real and into him, the scammer/pro dater may be able to act enthusiastic about his calls for only so long unless he's pumping money her way. There is a clear difference, at least to me, on how scammers/pro daters talk compared to sincere women who enjoy when I call.

The fact that this one doesn' want to give the number could mean that it's a man or the number might be a Nigerian one... makes it harder to explain.

The fact there is no phone increases the probability that this scam is coming from the FSU. Nigerian scammers are organized and they give out phone numbers. I called them for fun. There are usually a lot of people talking in the background. Makes me think they are all on computers chatting up a storm with Western men or on the phone speaking words of love with a very bad accent.

[JR]

Welcome az28.

First of all she is a "he" and he is a scammer.

google the email address.

tineye.com the photos he sent you.

Bet you one dollar you get at least one hit on a blacklist.

Hasn't asked for money yet? Give it a few days, usually takes 7 to 14 emails for him to fall in love with you then shortly there after the requests for money will begin.

This one's a scammer, RUN!!!!!

[JohnDearGreen]

however I can't help but feel flattered and alot less pressured (even relieved) when a woman makes the first move.  It eliminates alot of doubts that cause me not to approach many women in the first place myself...

Your first post made it sound like you were using US sites and had no experience with RW web sites.   They are a totally different playing field and there are ladies there at all different levels of ages and looks and such.  The only way you will find out where you stand with them is to contact a few dozen and find out.   If this lady is out of your normal league,  it only means she is playing games with you...or your lucky day has come...or you haven't really found out what your normal league there is yet.

[az28]

I ran all the pictures shes sent me through tineye, did not find anything for any of them.  search on her yahoo address on google/yahoo does not return anything..*sigh* something concrete would make this much easier. 

I've tried putting some areas of her emails into yahoo, no direct hits. 

Heres an example of the broken english:

I wish to tell more about myself. I think, for you there will be no news, that I love flowers. I are favourite roses, camomiles. I wish to tell, that from colours it is pleasant to me crimson and blue. Except for flowers I love a sweet. My growth 168 sm (5 ' 6), weight nearby 56 kg (121 lbs). I have been born 9 March  1978. I live with a family in one apartment. A city in which I live, name Belebey, it in Russia. I wish to tell, why I have written your country on my profile. I could not be registered from Russia. Me simply did not let in on a site. I think, what it will not prevent our dialogue?! What do you think of it?! If you do not wish, dialogue the Russian girl, you inform at once to me. I do not want, that between us there was a deceit, lie and mistrust.

[Voyager36]

     I signed up on several american online dating sites, usually just staying an unpaid guest, picking one at a time to try my luck at.  One of the unpaid ones sent me a message that i had gotten an email, so i checked it out.

Did you have a profile on that site with a picture?

3)  She says she does not have a phone.  Is this common in the smaller towns?  She claims she is visiting an internet cafe, and that seems to be correct from the times shes reading and sending my messages but I find the lack of phone suspicious.  

Yes, she likely has a phone.
 However it may be that she simply doesn't want to give out the phone number, and doesn't want to explain to men why.
I I have heard horror stories from the woman's side, where they can be called in the middle of the night by men who can't figure out the time difference, or being constantly called at work.

[remiel6]

Everyone I know of in Russia/ukraine has a cell phone, there are no exceptions it doesn't matter how big or small or remote the town is, they have a cell phone.
I don't find anything suspicious in her writing to you first, but the rest I find suspicious.

[Eduard]

I ran all the pictures shes sent me through tineye, did not find anything for any of them.  search on her yahoo address on google/yahoo does not return anything..*sigh* something concrete would make this much easier. 

I've tried putting some areas of her emails into yahoo, no direct hits. 

Heres an example of the broken english:

I wish to tell more about myself. I think, for you there will be no news, that I love flowers. I are favourite roses, camomiles. I wish to tell, that from colours it is pleasant to me crimson and blue. Except for flowers I love a sweet. My growth 168 sm (5 ' 6), weight nearby 56 kg (121 lbs). I have been born 9 March  1978. I live with a family in one apartment. A city in which I live, name Belebey, it in Russia. I wish to tell, why I have written your country on my profile. I could not be registered from Russia. Me simply did not let in on a site. I think, what it will not prevent our dialogue?! What do you think of it?! If you do not wish, dialogue the Russian girl, you inform at once to me. I do not want, that between us there was a deceit, lie and mistrust.

you were right, BillyB, it's an FSU scam, not Nigerian.

[az28]

Out of curiosity what about this snippit tells you that?

[I/O]

I/O are you aware your avatar pic isn't visible?

Count your blessings bud..!!

[Faux Pas]

Count your blessings bud..!!

My motive was merely to inform, not to critique