For older guys . . . how young is too young

[GQBlues]

The loss of vaginal wall circulation, thickness, flexibility and lubricity is inevitable. Even with additives, sex can be a bloody mess. Anyone who has never heard of the term 'vaginal atrophy' had better get educated.

hhhmmm...is that knowledge based on extensive medical journal reads or actual field observations, TomT?   

[Gator]

I had two tickets to the basketball game the other day and some 23 year old, hot blondy with all the works thought
I was talking about the gun show.

Maybe she cracked a joke that went over your head:

http://www.inflexwetrust.com/2010/11/19/nba-kobe-bryant-ripped-over-tv-commercial/



Especially if Gilbert were playing:


http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=4802267

[TomT]

hhhmmm...is that knowledge based on extensive medical journal reads or actual field observations, TomT?   

Both. The field study volunteer lied through her teeth about what was going on (as she did about everything) so I did my homework.

[GQBlues]

Well, FWIW unless Markus was somewhere else other than Texas, like Kali, there was only one game the Lakers played against a Texas B-Ball team so far this season and that was the home opener against the Houston Rockets.

They've yet to play any of them IN Texas..Spurs, Mavs, and Rockets. So I'm thinking the blondie was either a bubble-headed bleached blonde, or....

Both. The field study volunteer lied through her teeth about what was going on (as she did about everything) so I did my homework.

They just don't age like they used to anymore...

[TomT]

They just don't age like they used to anymore...

They never did; it just wasn't discussed.

[GQBlues]

They never did; it just wasn't discussed.

Ha-hah! I always had my suspicion that all that talk about 'it's never the year that counts, it's the model' is nothing but hot dry air!

Good to see your humor is still as funny and dry as I remember...

[TomT]

Most of the levity aside, men should know what they're getting into with a perimenopausal woman. Without the benefit of a decade-long relationship before one gets kicked out of the bedroom (metaphorically or otherwise), the chances of survival may be less than with a child-bride.

[Boethius]

For most women, perimenopause begins in their forties.  For some women, it is as early as their thirties, and can last a decade.  That excludes a lot of women, and I can assure you, most women in their forties are still sexually vital.

[tfcrew]

Regarding the word 'menapause' ...I don't care if the lady is 75...Do not say..do not use .. that word.
 Never... ever ...mention it to her.

Back to age diff...It was not uncommon [at least in the Soviet days] that the wife would be somewhat older than the husband.

I believe that in these present days, a western guy shouldn't get married until around thirty. They can try, but usually, the maturity required just isn't there.
Again, more than 10 years older than the lady is a strain.
You 35 she 25
You 50 she 40
Being married here for 10 years gives me that perspective.
Milage always varies somewhat.

[Turboguy]

Again, more than 10 years older than the lady is a strain.

What kind of strain? 

[tfcrew]

The guy being 50 and the girl 30? Could work  maybe.
The guy 40 and she 20? Never seen that work ..not for long anyway.

As I stated milage varies.
The nationality of those involved not withstanding.

The 'strain' is the responsibility of marriage.
If that doesn't exist, then pretty well bank on a fast and sudden breakup.

 Most marriages some 80% I understand, fail anyway due to financial insecurity.
 

[Jumper]

The guy being 50 and the girl 30? Could work  maybe.The guy 40 and she 20? Never seen that work ..not for long anyway.

this presumed  diffrerence between 50/30"could work maybe"   .and 40/20 "not for long"
is what the OP was asking..


it's just "generally" assumed the age factor is too great when life stagers are vast like 40 to 20..
but when they get closeer,
50 to 30..
 60 to 40..?
the differences do not seem as vast , or as likely to be the root cause of a breakup?

 i believe  the op  was asking for opinions on why this is? or any detials in this thinking..


While I also feel the same regarding those ages ,
 i cant put exactly a finger on *why*, other than the "stages in life" differences (or similarities)..

 Most marriages some 80% I understand, fail anyway due to financial insecurity.
 

I agree that most studies indicate this to be the root problem,
but personally  i find it odd ,and at odds , with the reason people state they are getting married in the first place.

 Few people are finacially much different ,relatively in the big picture, , married or single.
(this doesnt count divorced lol)
so they are typically not any more ,or less, financial "secure" before the marriage or during it,
than they would be single,to me it just makes no good sense as a root cause of thier problems.
I've never understood these studies.. and wonder who they are studying..

I've never known a couple to divorce over financial instablty, that they wouldnt have regardless?
yes i have heard couples use the excuse,,
only to be even less financial secure after the divorce,  on both parties counts...
It just seems a weird excuse people give,, that doesn't seem based on lifes realities?

[GQBlues]

The guy being 50 and the girl 30? Could work  maybe.
The guy 40 and she 20? Never seen that work ..not for long anyway.

Yup, I agree.... 

[Daveman]

...
The guy 40 and she 20? Never seen that work ..not for long anyway.

...
 

Yeah, but 140 and 120 is perfect, they're both just rotten as hell.

[GQBlues]

I've never known a couple to divorce over financial instablty, that they wouldnt have regardless? yes i have heard couples use the excuse,, only to be even less financial secure after the divorce,  on both parties counts... It just seems a weird excuse people give,, that doesn't seem based on lifes realities?

Yeah, financial instability alright. But they have money to burn for their respective attorneys.

These age related threads sometimes do mystify me some. Sure I understand the wisdom that most couples with huge age differences face monumental challenges that just generally doesn't exist between couples with little or no age differential..

...but then so does marrying someone from outside your OWN culture.

Give me a break. This endeavor are between marriage folks with a cultural divide as radical as any age difference will ever present. Heck, you even see folks chasing women having to labor through an interpreter just to say Hello. How are you' to one another. Yet, there are those who do get married despite the odds - and yet succeed.

Life stages? C'mon...there's just as much difficulties relating to woman radically different from your culture and set in her ways, as there will be from a woman of that culture but younger and apt to adapt a bit easier. Life stages talk makes a whole lot of sense from men in their 50s-60s...you can easily guess why.

Now before anyone comes unglued and automatically deduct what I'm saying here as a recommendation to marry much younger women - chill-out. I won't even recommend you marrying anyone from a different culture let alone anything else.

All I'm saying here is, you cannot be so ignorant of the fact inter-cultural marriages in itself is not exactly a walk in the park - yet it doesn't stop any of you from diving in head first.

You want assurances and guarantees? Like DP always used to say...buy a toaster.

[Chicagoguy]

Check out Bernie Eccelstone, one of Englands richest men. Not counting the Russians 
This 80 year old owner of Formula One Racing was married to a woman 28 years younger for 25 years. She was 6' 2" and he is about 5' 2"

Now he has a Brazilian girlfriend who is 31. I doubt if I'll even be above ground when I am that age.

[mies]

My husband is 22 years older than me. I am happy with him and everything is great. I have the only consern, that its not for long (((( But my decision was based on the though: it's better to be with an absolutely wondeful guy, though in his late 50ths, than to be with a younger one, who is getting on my nerves and making me worry about his loyality. His younger age would never make me feel happier. His good attitute - absolutely yes.

Annie, why do you think it's not for too long? Or 30-40 years aren't long enough? Maybe people in USA have longer life expectancy than in Russia. My great-granma died at the age of 101, my great-grandfather was 90+ yo when he died.

[Jumper]

Yeah, financial instability alright. But they have money to burn for their respective attorneys.

These age related threads sometimes do mystify me some. Sure I understand the wisdom that most couples with huge age differences face monumental challenges that just generally doesn't exist between couples with little or no age differential..

...but then so does marrying someone from outside your OWN culture.

Give me a break. This endeavor are between marriage folks with a cultural divide as radical as any age difference will ever present. Heck, you even see folks chasing women having to labor through an interpreter just to say Hello. How are you' to one another. Yet, there are those who do get married despite the odds - and yet succeed.

Life stages? C'mon...there's just as much difficulties relating to woman radically different from your culture and set in her ways, as there will be from a woman of that culture but younger and apt to adapt a bit easier. Life stages talk makes a whole lot of sense from men in their 50s-60s...you can easily guess why.

Now before anyone comes unglued and automatically deduct what I'm saying here as a recommendation to marry much younger women - chill-out. I won't even recommend you marrying anyone from a different culture let alone anything else.

All I'm saying here is, you cannot be so ignorant of the fact inter-cultural marriages in itself is not exactly a walk in the park - yet it doesn't stop any of you from diving in head first.

You want assurances and guarantees? Like DP always used to say...buy a toaster.

GQ, just stop making sense..
it screws everything up around here..



my own thoughts are that generalizations are what we are forced to work with *here*,
they dont often fit well?? just the nature of a forum.

I feel  it is far more important two people in a relationship be on the *same page*,
whatever that page might be,
than what passport they hold, and  what dates are in there.
 My disclaimer would be they have to be old enough, or lets say mature enough, to actually know what they want and in a postion it isn't likely to change.

[ML]

Quote from: Turboguy on October 03, 2010, 01:42:47 PM
I do probably have a little more first hand knowledge with post menopausal women than some of the 30 year old guys would and yes, some older women may lose their interest in sex and some don't.

Quote from: TomT
The loss of vaginal wall circulation, thickness, flexibility and lubricity is inevitable. Even with additives, sex can be a bloody mess. Anyone who has never heard of the term 'vaginal atrophy' had better get educated.

- - - - - -

The 'loss' TomT talks about is less a concern than the 'lose their interest' that Turbo mentions.

There are dozens of ways for both men and women to enjoy sex that have nothing to do with the vagina.

But only the very selfish man would enjoy having sex with a woman who had no real desire for it herself.

The 'change of life', regardless of what you want to call it or what age it occurs, is real.

Hormone treatments can help overcome the 'change' for awhile, but many, many women now are choosing not to do the hormone treatments because of the recent, well known studies that show possible heart and cancer complications. 

These studies are thought to be flawed and inconclusive; but are enough to scare the sh!t out of most women, and I don't blame them.

The older the woman,  the greater the risk her sex life (and her partner's) is going to end sooner rather than later.

Yes, of course there are tremendous variations;  and yes the same applies to men with the corresponding wide variations.