Chemistry 101

[Tag-n-bag]

Alright ladies, any man who has ever spent any time on an agency site will tell you that women are always very concerned about "chemistry". I'll let you ladies in on a little secret, a flash of thigh in a tight miniskirt is all the chemistry a man requires. Thats it, no need for further discussion or debate.

Now, for a woman, I have a feeling it may be something entirely different. Well, it has to be because most men don't wear miniskirts.

I was hoping some of you ladies could give us men a clue when it comes to a woman determining if there is any chemistry present when she meets a man. Is the attraction instant like it is with men, or is it something that has to be cultivated over time?

If the chemistry is not initially present, is there a chance for it to develop over time?

What do you consider chemisty to be, is it merely a physical thing or are other things considered such as financial stability, parenting skills, etc?

 

[daveyj]

I'll let you ladies in on a little secret, a flash of thigh in a tight miniskirt is all the chemistry a man requires. Thats it, no need for further discussion or debate.

Uh, no.  When I was 13 maybe.

[Shostakovich]

I'll let you ladies in on a little secret, a flash of thigh in a tight miniskirt is all the chemistry a man requires. Thats it, no need for further discussion or debate.

 

Another soldier in the legion of morons.

[ECOCKS]

Uh, no.  When I was 13 maybe.

Let it go, these guys just make "real men" look better in the long run.

[Gator]

Tag,

Any man who believes the following:

I'll let you ladies in on a little secret, a flash of thigh in a tight miniskirt is all the chemistry a man requires. Thats it, no need for further discussion or debate.

....would not be able to comprehend the profound nature of women's answers to this question:

What do you consider chemisty to be, is it merely a physical thing or are other things considered such as financial stability, parenting skills, etc?

Perhaps you were trying to be cute.  However, it's almost silly.  I will give you a clue - RW don't like silly men, a man-child, and the like.  They have a SOH, actually a keen one.     

[Gator]

Another soldier in the legion of morons.

A good one. 

[Ludmila]

Tag,

Below is the clue :

if a FLASH of FLESH is all a man is fishing, his adventure may end up as a FLASH in the pan : after you buy her a car,  she may not only put on more FLESH than you were fishing for-- in a FLASH !   --  , but the idea to be  after her pound of FLESH will FLASH her mind sooner than you think.

:-)  :-)  :-)

Bye !

[Aloe]

Tag,

Below is the clue :

if a FLASH of FLESH is all a man is fishing, his adventure may end up as a FLASH in the pan : after you buy her a car,  she may not only put on more FLESH than you were fishing for-- in a FLASH !   --  , but the idea to be  after her pound of FLESH will FLASH her mind sooner than you think.
:-)  :-)  :-)
Bye !

No, no, here is the correct version:

If a flash of flesh is all a man is looking for, then his adventure will end in a flash, as soon as she gets a green card and half his assets, she will be gone in a flash, pursuing some hotter younger richer flesh!

[Aloe]

I was hoping some of you ladies could give us men a clue when it comes to a woman determining if there is any chemistry present when she meets a man. Is the attraction instant like it is with men, or is it something that has to be cultivated over time?

If the chemistry is not initially present, is there a chance for it to develop over time?

What do you consider chemisty to be, is it merely a physical thing or are other things considered such as financial stability, parenting skills, etc?

To answer your question, it's instant. There isn't much you can do about it; besides showering a lot, using nice cologne and brushing your teeth/chewing fresh breath gum/mints regularily (to at least not spark an immediate disgust). Oh and have nice beautiful teeth, there is nothing more disgusting than ugly unhealthy teeth/bad breath. Well actually bad smell is pretty disgusting too. But even if you are clean nice , smell like roses and are otherwise pleasant to look/feel , that still doesn't guarantee chemistry. It's just something else; But the things mentioned above certainly help I think nose certainly is a big part of chemistry. No matter how nice and clean a guy is, if i dont like his (natural) smell, there is nothing he can do to attract me. I think it may be about the natural smell of a guy, all the guys i liked always have very pleasant to me natural smell

[Aloe]

Oh and once, i knew a guy, he was so hot, literally. He smelled fine, but hugging him was like hugging a furnace, quite hot and unpleasant, i dont know how someone can have such super hot skin, everywhere.  

[Faux Pas]

Another soldier in the legion of morons.

That was funny
 

[Lily]

Alright ladies, any man who has ever spent any time on an agency site will tell you that women are always very concerned about "chemistry". I'll let you ladies in on a little secret, a flash of thigh in a tight miniskirt is all the chemistry a man requires. Thats it, no need for further discussion or debate.

Now, for a woman, I have a feeling it may be something entirely different. Well, it has to be because most men don't wear miniskirts.

I was hoping some of you ladies could give us men a clue when it comes to a woman determining if there is any chemistry present when she meets a man. Is the attraction instant like it is with men, or is it something that has to be cultivated over time?

If the chemistry is not initially present, is there a chance for it to develop over time?

What do you consider chemisty to be, is it merely a physical thing or are other things considered such as financial stability, parenting skills, etc?

 

Hi Tag-n-bag,

You ask a very right and complicated question, a million dollar question indeed. I'd love to provide a comprehensive answer, but afraid that there is still no correct answer to this. Every attempt would be most likely no more than beating around the bush

First of all, and I already wrote it on the fora some times, women are very very complicated creatures when it comes to gender relations. By gender relations, I mean the instinctive feeling of attraction, not the reasonable criteria about the man's alleged wealth, etc.  Hope that answers your very last question. Men seem to be simple in this respect, while women are darn complicated.

It all is different, and it all depends. Often, if woman feels that with this man, she apparently feels zero attraction, if her answer is 'no', this may come rather quickly. Again, it depends on a particular woman. Some women could tell quickly like, 'No, no way I would want this man'. Some women know at least what they don't want. The woman should know herself albeit it is also not always present with some women.

Another part of your question, whether if chemistry is not initially present, is there a chance for it to develop over time? Well, some time ago I asked the RWD men the same question about women. My personal take would be that the chemistry cannot be developed. If it is here, it is here; if there is zero, it will be still zero with time, and the man and woman in question would be better served by looking for another partner.

[GoodOlBoy]

I'll let you ladies in on a little secret, a flash of thigh in a tight miniskirt is all the chemistry a man requires.

Not to  BUT.... :selfharm:

GOB

[Lily]

GoodOldBoy,

It might be for you and other man like obvious, but see, people tend to perceive things through their own understanding. People may tend to think that the opposite gender should think exactly like themselves, while they don't

For me, for example, it used to be an enigma for a long time, how men are attracted to women   I mean, I heard about that, but it is not easy to understand Therefore, I personally wouldn't mark these quote as a beaten horse or something.

My belief is that there are no such things as silly questions, there may be only silly answers

[Aloe]

GoodOldBoy,

It might be for you and other man like obvious, but see, people tend to perceive things through their own understanding. People may tend to think that the opposite gender should think exactly like themselves, while they don't

For me, for example, it used to be an enigma for a long time, how men are attracted to women  I mean, I heard about that, but it is not easy to understand Therefore, I personally wouldn't mark these quote as a beaten horse or something.

My belief is that there are no such things as silly questions, there may be only silly answers

I don't think they are marking it as a beaten horse. I think they are marking that it's an incredibly stupid thing to say? Chemistry is not about flash of flesh for sure If that was all it took to develop chemistry, we wouldn't have a forum full of lonely men who can't seem to find the one, no matter how attractive and scantily clad the ladies they go out on dates with are. If mini skirt was all it took, then we would have trip reports full of 'i felt instant chemistry' with almost every single woman, but it's not the case

[GoodOlBoy]

I don't think they are marking it as a beaten horse. I think they are marking that it's an incredibly stupid thing to say? Chemistry is not about flash of flesh for sure If that was all it took to develop chemistry, we wouldn't have a forum full of lonely men who can't seem to find the one, no matter how attractive and scantily clad the ladies they go out on dates with are. If mini skirt was all it took, then we would have trip reports full of 'i felt instant chemistry' with almost every single woman, but it's not the case

GOB

PS....Good post Aloe!

[Misha]

If that was all it took to develop chemistry, we wouldn't have a forum full of lonely men who can't seem to find the one, no matter how attractive and scantily clad the ladies they go out on dates with are. If mini skirt was all it took, then we would have trip reports full of 'i felt instant chemistry' with almost every single woman, but it's not the case

Very true. It also does not explain the fact that you can feel intense chemistry for a woman who is wearing a long skirt or even a business suit  For some women, there would be chemistry even if they dressed like a medieval Catholic nun 

[Tag-n-bag]

 I was joking with the miniskirt remark and thought it would be obvious.

For those of you who are humor challanged, here ;-)

LOL

 

[Vaughn]

I was joking with the miniskirt remark and thought it would be obvious.

No sale, Tag. If you hadn't followed up with...

Now, for a woman, I have a feeling it may be something entirely different.

    ... I just might buy the disclaimer. Whatever. It's not really important now - but I hope if you
are simply trying to save face, you might rethink what true chemistry encompasses.

FWIW - my wife would agree with Aloe - in a word, presentation is paramount. Including footwear.

[DaveY]

I think nose certainly is a big part of chemistry. No matter how nice and clean a guy is, if i dont like his (natural) smell, there is nothing he can do to attract me. I think it may be about the natural smell of a guy, all the guys i liked always have very pleasant to me natural smell

I agree completely with your observation.

This reminds me of a story a married female friend once told me. She said that on occasions, when her husband would leave on a business trip. She would wear one of his shirts to bed, just so she could have the smell of his scent near her as she slept.

[Jumper]

*Chemistry*  seems pretty complex for both men or women.

i certainly couldn't begin to fully explain "why" i  would have "mutual chemistry"
 with one women over another (for sake of argument , lets say equally attractive in my eyes)


The number ONE factor would be the "mutual" part,
if i somehow sensed she dint feel the same, the chemistry wouldn't develope one sided

another important factor would simply be how we interacted/ the *mesh* of personalities,
this doesn't mean "similar" !! opposites can and do attract.
it's about how well the personalities  , mannerislms, style of speach, all interact that can  cause that special spark (that is beyond simple first lust or infatuation)

I would agree with aloe that pheromones and smell probably play far more into it subconciously than many realize,, but defining,or quantifying  that , science has not  yet been able to do..
Every significant other througoot my life,  would wear a shirt of mine, when i was away,,

however i never wore any of theirs (just in case JR was curious    .. )




I believe it to be almost instant .. or within the first  few minutes..

I do not feel it is "generally " different for men than women ,
 but of course it is different certainly for individuals ..

for me it's important,  since i have never dated anyone that i did not have pretty much instant *mutual chemistry* with..

[Gator]

Tag,

Okay, you were joking as I surmised.  Make sure you understand my comment about silly behavior.  RW appreciate humor.  It is splendid to joke, but don't lay an egg. 

AJ mentioned the word "mutual."  Great point.  Just like love, when both of you are feeling it, it builds upon itself.  You will know when it is happening.  You will not need to refer to a book on how to read body language.  And you surely will be enjoying everything she is saying and doing, to the point that lustful thoughts of her fine body move to the background.

[Tag-n-bag]

Wow, this is a tough audience! LOL!

Oh, and thank you for being so civil and informative Lily. Others...take note:-)

I agree that chemistry is ordinarily instant, but not always. Had I not experienced this for myself at one time, I would not have believed that chemistry between a man and a woman can change. I met a woman once and we instantly despised each other. This went on for quite some time until we went out one night with each other strictly out of boredom. Three years later, after an incredibly hot romance, we went our separate ways.
So, perhaps any type of initial chemistry, love or hate, is better than at all. However, if you don't like someones "scent", a 4 hour date can seem like a lifetime! :-)

 



  

[Ludmila]

Tag, on a serious note, actually, chemistry is a pretty serious  theme.

A couple of questions to you  :

how long do you expect your mutual chemistry last?

what can kill chemistry( from your personal experience)?

what will you do, if chemistry is no longer there? ( the latter was recently discussed on a R. women's forum ).

(The answers will "smoothly" take us over to the questions of life values, I guess).

[OlgaH]

what can kill chemistry

I recall one story told me by one of my old friends. He is a honored architect and in three days he will be 60 y.o. He also an artist. In his relatively young age he met a beautiful girl in his university. They were dating and his feelings grew for her, but one day when he came to pick her up at her place and saw her sitting at the table with a big bowl full of smoked pig ears... the chemistry was lost in that bowl forever.