Survived the first MIL visit

[roykirk]

3 weeks in to my mother-in-law's first visit, she's getting ready to go home in a few days.  It really has been a wonderful time and it's been a great break for me and my wife who have basically been shut-ins for the last several months.  Grandma wouldn't let the baby out of her arms for even a second so my wife and I got out to the movies and out to a romantic dinner for the first time in months.  Grandma loves the baby so much and I can see the sadness starting to develop in her eyes as she realizes she won't see her granddaughter again for at least another year. 

There really haven't been any clashes to speak of.  Part of that may be due to the fact that she speaks zero English.     We've had this quiet battle over how warm to dress the baby going on that's actually quite humorous.  Grandma wants her dressed like she's going outside in Siberia in the middle of the winter...and this is just to go to bed (in a nursery that's already 70 degrees).  I keep sneaking in and at least taking the hat and thick blanket off of her.  Mostly due to knowledge that blankets in the cribs of a baby so young is not safe, but also because the poor girl is drenched in sweat when I check on her in the middle of the night.  Of course grandma will sneak in behind me and just put all the crap back on her.  One day she was actually running a low grade fever and her face was all red she was so warm.  Once I got all the layers of clothing off of her she went back to normal.  Then there was the nightly baths where she insisted on pouring camomile all over her.  She also freaked out if we let the baby look at herself in a mirror.     Then there was the time she opened some packages that arrived for me, apparently out of habit.  My wife scolded her about that and said "we don't do that here." 

Anyway, a learning experience and we hope to have grandma back soon.  We'll hide all the winter clothes first!   

[GoodOlBoy]

Hey Roykirk.
Obviously, she made it to your doorstep.
CONGRATULATIONS!!
IIRC you said that she knows zero English.
Would you please tell the rest of us what you did (DHS/Airport note, etc.) to get her there safely?

GOB

[facetrock]

  Roykirk I would be interested in how it went for the MIL too on the trip over.

 I am also going to rethink my position on having more kids 

 Glad you enjoyed the visit.

[roykirk]

The trip over was not easy, but as someone stated in another thread on this topic the problem wasn't with customs.  She breezed through customs without a single question.  The problem came when she missed her first connecting flight in the States due to a late departure from Moscow.  We had given her a piece of paper that simply said, "I am visiting from Russia and I do not speak English.  I am here to visit my daughter and her family.  Her phone number is xxx-xxxx and her husband's phone number is xxx-xxxx."  So I receive a call from a Delta representative saying she missed her flight and they were going to put her up in a hotel and give her a meal voucher until she could catch the next available flight in the morning.  Then they handed the phone to my MIL and I handed my phone to my wife.  My wife explained everything to her mother and things worked out fine after that.  She ended up arriving about 15 hours late to our city.  MIL acted like it was no big deal but I imagine it was pretty overwhelming for her to be stuck in a big American city, exhausted, and with no grasp of the language. 

Anyway, she loves it here and enjoys the nice clean neighborhoods, streets, and how everyone is so nice.  Living in a two bedroom apartment for her whole life she probably thinks we leave in a mansion.  We wish she could stay for a few months, but she still works and has to get back home to her job.   

[GQBlues]

Good to hear everything worked out fine for everyone Roykirk. The delay is unfortunate but luckily things worked out just fine.

My in-laws had to endure a 16 hour layover in Frankfurt the first time they visited because it was the least of all evil believe it or not. I asked them if they can get a one day visa for Germany so I can get them a place overnight outside the airport but like my wife used to be, they are stubborn as mules with an attitude. When they finally arrived they reluctantly admitted having the visa would've have been the better choice.

Anyway, happy to hear things all worked out. Delta pulled through for you folks.

[JR]

Getting along with MIL is oh so important)))

[tfcrew]

Fact is...the older someone is, the harder it is to learn any new language...esp English.
There are Russian speakers here that have been here for 30+ years. All they could ever say is 'hello'.
 
 

[acctBill]

Fact is...the older someone is, the harder it is to learn any new language...esp English.
There are Russian speakers here that have been here for 30+ years. All they could ever say is 'hello'.
 
 

In the UK the same thing.  Older Russian men and women who came to live with their children and know only a few words of English after 10+ years in the country.  Yet, if a cashier short changes them they know it.  If you ask them how to get somewhere in London on the city's complex transit system, they can tell you.  

I don't really think the problem is lack of brain power.  I think the main reason for their lack of English language skills is that they find no real reason to learn.  They live with their children/grandchildren and these people act as buffers to the English speaking world.  

The older Russians usually live in a Russian world shopping at Russian stores.  If they've learned how to use the currency of their new country they don't need to speak to buy items.  After all substitute dollars or pounds or euros for rubles, know how much tax to add and you can figure out the price yourself without learning the language.  

[ML]

 I think the main reason for their lack of English language skills is that they find no real reason to learn.  They live with their children/grandchildren and these people act as buffers to the English speaking world.  

The older Russians usually live in a Russian world shopping at Russian stores.  If they've learned how to use the currency of their new country they don't need to speak to buy items.  After all substitute dollars or pounds or euros for rubles, know how much tax to add and you can figure out the price yourself without learning the language.  

This is exactly my situation when I visit in FSU.  I am buffered by friends and business colleagues.  Despite upteen visits, I know less than 50 Ukr/Rus words and have zero problems.