Its mostly about finding a wealthy westerner, isn't it? :)

[Andreas]

There are a lot of RW in Norway that came here as skilled workers, many more than those that came to marry Norwegians.

Andreas' "retarded chubby teens" do exist but there are vastly more tall athletic blonds here. Unfortunately for Andreas, his type is not that attractive to the average attractive and emancipated Norwegian woman; he's is an egotist that wants a BillyB type "traditional" relationship, he'd also be considered a right wing racist here, and has the look of a 130Kg (the last I read) power lifter (yeah, you know, squat, square, and lots of muscle but still looks way overweight). He rationalises his failure to find a woman by any means he can, that is to say he insults, denigrates and basically makes things up rather than looking to himself and seeing what the real reasons are. Go figure.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add that he's also a hypocrite; in spite of his racist stance and derogatory rhetoric, he was bonking a Filipino (as far as I remember) that he was using for sex but had no intention of forming any sort of relationship with while looking for someone a little more white and "traditional".

1) There's nothing wrong with being a 130kg powerlifter, but I might add that I lost 29kgs of weight after busting both my knees and tearing my left pectoral muscle in half. I'm currently weighing 109kgs with visible abs.

2) As for the Asian chicks (plural) I've slept with, I made it very clear from the beginning that I met them for one night stands. If grown women want that type of deal, I see nothing wrong with. Nor do I see anything wrong with wanting to marry someone of your own race.

[Andreas]

Kindness? Seriously Lily, my opinions are based entirely on posts made by Andreas himself, here and over on RUA.

If Andreas wants to bemoan the lack of suitable women here in Norway, that's his right, but I'm just pointing out that there are very good reasons why Norwegian women just aren't interested in him and those reasons are probably very much the same for the RW here. I for one don't think men like him deserve any softening of the truth.

1) From what I recall, the majority of the members on RUA supported me and told you to calm the hell down. I also seem to remember you defining RUA as "Manny's racist page" and storming out like a five year old having a tantrum.

2) I'm very critical and demanding when it comes to women, so its not that I've been rejected by Norwegian girls but rather that I can't seem to find any single girls that I find attractive for the purpose of marriage. I have very little free time and therefore I have little or no interest in dating women that are not marriage material.

[Andreas]

Size has never intimidated me. I regularly got into scuffles as a teenager with guys literally twice my size and several years my senior and it's the reason my nose is the shape it is.

That explains the nose, but what the hell happened to the rest of your face?

[BC]

I have very little free time and therefore I have little or no interest in dating women that are not marriage material.

Andreas,

I ignored the rest of the fluff in this thread but your statement above is a red flag.

If there is one essential ingredient I could name it would be time.

Maybe this one you don't have is the real show stopper, FSU or locally.

Oh.. btw you're a lawyer so don't get upset about the cross.. you'll just loose sympathy with the jury.

[Jooky]

Russian women in the West would be IMHO on the normal western dating sites like match, plentyoffish, lavalife. Why looking for a Russian guy when they can find a number of good Western guys here?

Well, Andreas said he was looking at singles.ru. Russian women living in Norway aren't posting ads in Russian on singles.ru because they want to meet Norwegian men.

Why are they looking for other Russians? Probably because they didn't move to Norway for the men and are more comfortable with men they can communicate with in their native tongue.

An example... a Russian gal I know was living in Sweden. She did not like Swedish men. She thought they were a bunch of wusses and would prefer a Russian man over them (but she'd prefer me over a Russian man  ).

Now, if Andreas contacts women on singles.ru that are still in Russia, it's a different story. They're not surrounded by Norwegian men. They don't get hit on by foreigners every day, so they are more likely to respond as it's something new and interesting.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Until you're on the other side. They you long for the green green grass of home.

So that's my simple explanation to his conundrum.

[Lily]

I'd say I have some good selling points:

1) At 28 years old I'm already a licensed lawyer and out of the 30 or so lawyers in our firm, I'm currently the firms second highest earner.  My boss have told me he expects to make me a partner in our law firm next year. My salary reflects this. I'd say this makes me rather successful, which is something women generally look for in a man.

2) I work out six days a week, and since the last time we spoke I've gone from powerlifting to strongman and currently have wash board abs. This means that getting laid is not a problem; finding a woman that's worth keeping for a long term deal is.

3) I'm serious about settling down with only one woman and start a family.

Andreas,

You are right that all these are good selling points, and should give you some edge over a number of RW seekers.

At the same time, if you believe that women look for wealthy westerners, this per se should give you an advantage,  see your item # 1 above. Right?

Therefore, personally I don't see any big issue with your marketability to Russian women. Additionally, Norway is relatively close to Russia, thus there should be less obstacles for moving there.

The other consideration would be that, in case Andreas would restrict himself to looking locally only, he will be competing with other Norwegian guys for the women who are already in his country, with any status.

Last but not least, just a friendly reminder, my dears, could you please watch your usage of words while posting here, and abstain from something that may provoke a verbal fight here, please

[Aloe]

Someone with a temper THAT short does not have a lot of advantage over others. On the opposite, it seems to put him below others, more mature men

[Nat]

SJ, I don't know neither you nor Andreas personally, but you seem to be prejudiced against him a lot. Is he a raging racist according to you  only because he honestly wrote that he wants a white wife? Is there something wrong with that? It's better to be honest and say it as it is than to be a hypocrite and try to hide this true reason below other artificial ones, when turning somebody down.

2) I'm very critical and demanding when it comes to women, so its not that I've been rejected by Norwegian girls but rather that I can't seem to find any single girls that I find attractive for the purpose of marriage. I have very little free time and therefore I have little or no interest in dating women that are not marriage material.

Andreas, don't be carried away - remember what you wrote earlier:

Its a matter of preference, but here in Norway that look is not so popular, and Norway is a small country for such a big guy (125kgs+)

You have pros and cons - like anybody else. If you want to find a local Russian girl, try to find something in yourself, that will be an advantage and will interest her from from the first sight. And then you won't have to deal with internet dating.

[Misha]

You have pros and cons - like anybody else. If you want to find a local Russian girl, try to find something in yourself, that will be an advantage and will interest her from from the first sight. And then you won't have to deal with internet dating.

The challenge with finding a local Russian woman will be the much smaller pool if he is using singles.ru. There are only 281 profiles in all of Norway of women 27 or younger. If he were to simply expand his search to the city of Saint Petersburg, there would be 46,332 women listed in profiles with photos 27 or younger 

[Gator]

If there is one essential ingredient I could name it would be time.

I did not understand the remainder of your post, yet this is an excellent point.  

Andreas,  in comparison with American attorneys your age, you are well ahead of the curve.  To achieve such success (i. e., billable hours) requires talent and time, a lot of your time.  It is not done working 40 hours per week.

You have a time conflict.  To know a RW takes a lot of time also.  "Time" is indeed the one "thing" that successful people don't have enough of.

So my advice is not to be in a rush to marry but to go slowly.  To speed the process you may be tempted to lead with your success (i. e., money).  Big mistake because such a lure may catch you a shark, albeit a pretty one but not fulfilling in the way a decent, sincere loving woman can be.  So let your success be a surprise to a RW after she is sold on you.  This goes to the title of your thread.

One other item, you do seem narcissistic and intense.  I suggest you tone down the former, both at work and with women, and find a woman who calms you.

Good luck.  I hope you stay around RWD and keep us informed of your progress.

  

[Gator]

Someone with a temper THAT short does not have a lot of advantage over others. On the opposite, it seems to put him below others, more mature men

Aloe, I usually agree with your insights yet I don't see a temper in Andreas.  What am I missing?

I ask because SJ's comments were highly insulting.  MY opinion is that Andreas's response was measured, certainly less reactive than most men at RWD.  In American talk, his comment "That explains the nose, but what the hell happened to the rest of your face?" shows a sense of humor.

[Aloe]

Aloe, I usually agree with your insights yet I don't see a temper in Andreas.  What am I missing?

I ask because SJ's comments were highly insulting.  MY opinion is that Andreas's response was measured, certainly less reactive than most men at RWD.  In American talk, his comment "That explains the nose, but what the hell happened to the rest of your face?" shows a sense of humor.

I was basing it on this comment :

Oh, really *snip*tard?

If somebody writes purposely offensive comments to me, i just ignore them and don't say anything, cuz i'm not bothered, he on the other hand, with that comment, flew off the handle = short temper

[BC]

Gator,

See below, added some emphasis that should make more sense...

Quote

I have very little free time and therefore I have little or no interest in dating women that are not marriage material.

Andreas,

I ignored the rest of the fluff in this thread but your statement above is a red flag.

If there is one essential ingredient I could name it would be time.

Maybe this one [asset] you don't have is the real show stopper, FSU or locally.

Oh.. btw you're a lawyer so don't get upset about the cross [examination].. you'll just loose sympathy with the jury. (referring to somewhat loosing his cool with his responses)

[kievstar]

You said your always at work or at the gym.  I think that is your problem going forward.  Not many wives want a husband who is not home.  Now if you find a woman who goes with the gym with you that is what you should do. 

[Lily]

You said your always at work or at the gym.  I think that is your problem going forward.  Not many wives want a husband who is not home.  Now if you find a woman who goes with the gym with you that is what you should do. 

Women who want a wealthy man, are IMHO usually prepared that he will be either at work or on business trips almost all the time, as money do not grow on trees even in the U.S.

[Ade]

SJ, I don't know neither you nor Andreas personally, but you seem to be prejudiced against him a lot. Is he a raging racist according to you  only because he honestly wrote that he wants a white wife? Is there something wrong with that? It's better to be honest and say it as it is than to be a hypocrite and try to hide this true reason below other artificial ones, when turning somebody down.

No, wanting a white wife is just a preference; we all have them. Unfortunately Andreas is a real, 100% pure racist who believes in such things as the superiority of the white race and other such twaddle.  And yes, racists of his type really do make me angry.

I won't bother answering his posts as it'll just escalate; anyway, apparently he's a catch so he's nothing to worry about... but I have to wonder then why can't he get one of the many very stunning women I see here every day... or a RW to call his own.

[Ade]

SJ, I don't know neither you nor Andreas personally, but you seem to be prejudiced against him a lot. Is he a raging racist according to you  only because he honestly wrote that he wants a white wife?

If you are interested you can see the original thread where his racism and other personality traits came out in this thread over on RUA http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=4406.0.

[Andreas]

Well, Andreas said he was looking at singles.ru. Russian women living in Norway aren't posting ads in Russian on singles.ru because they want to meet Norwegian men.

Why are they looking for other Russians? Probably because they didn't move to Norway for the men and are more comfortable with men they can communicate with in their native tongue.

I would assume - and this is just a theory of mine - that most young Russian girls who come to Norway as students, au paris or such, do so partly because they want to settle down here. It would make little sense to prefer Russian men in such a situation.

An example... a Russian gal I know was living in Sweden. She did not like Swedish men. She thought they were a bunch of wusses and would prefer a Russian man over them (but she'd prefer me over a Russian man  ).

....and this is one of the reasons I go for Russian girls - I thought they were more conservative in terms of wanting masculine men and getting married and settled down at an earlier age. Seems to me that this might just be a marketing tool for marriage agencies looking to "push their merchandise".

[Andreas]

Andreas,

You are right that all these are good selling points, and should give you some edge over a number of RW seekers.

One should think so, but as my first post states, it seems that RW are less interested in finding a man that's good marriage material as soon as they get into the West. It could seem that searching for a wife among RW brings a great risk of being used as a "trojan horse" for green card girls.

At the same time, if you believe that women look for wealthy westerners, this per se should give you an advantage,  see your item # 1 above. Right?

Well, the way I see it there's a fine line here. If a woman wants a successful man because she wants to marry a winner, then that's admirable. Who wants a loser to father their children, right?
But if said women covets the successful man's money, then its definitely a problem.

The other consideration would be that, in case Andreas would restrict himself to looking locally only, he will be competing with other Norwegian guys for the women who are already in his country, with any status.

But that's the point - if RW are all they're cracked up to be, then I would out-compete literally 99% of Norwegian men. Norwegian girls go for feminine, submissive meterosexual "men", whereas RW supposedly go for ambitious, family-oriented, hard working men that have a manly physique.

Last but not least, just a friendly reminder, my dears, could you please watch your usage of words while posting here, and abstain from something that may provoke a verbal fight here, please

Well, I'm over-worked, sleep deprived, worn out and generally in a cranky mood these days. I'll try to behave, though.

[Andreas]

You have pros and cons - like anybody else. If you want to find a local Russian girl, try to find something in yourself, that will be an advantage and will interest her from from the first sight. And then you won't have to deal with internet dating.

Yeah, being twice the size of a politically correct western man is definitely considered a "con" here in Norway, but I think it should obviously be a "pro".

The thing is that the only reason for me to consider a RW instead of a local girl is if RWs truly are more marriage oriented, less interested in a "party girl" life style and genuinely appreciate guys who lift weights while listening to heavy metal on a daily basis.
If not, then I there's no reason to waste my time.

[Andreas]

The challenge with finding a local Russian woman will be the much smaller pool if he is using singles.ru. There are only 281 profiles in all of Norway of women 27 or younger. If he were to simply expand his search to the city of Saint Petersburg, there would be 46,332 women listed in profiles with photos 27 or younger 

True enough

I wanted to see if the attitude of RW changed once they hit Norwegian soil, though, which it seems to have done I'm afraid.

Also, its very practical for me to meet someone who is already in Norway as I have way too little time on my hand to visit Russia on a regular basis right now. So far I haven't had more than a mere handful of vacation days this year. Even if I were to visit Russia or Ukraine during Christmas (for example), its pointless if I can't commit to seeing a girl within the next 6-10 months.

[ECOCKS]

One should think so, but as my first post states, it seems that RW are less interested in finding a man that's good marriage material as soon as they get into the West. It could seem that searching for a wife among RW brings a great risk of being used as a "trojan horse" for green card girls.

Well, the way I see it there's a fine line here. If a woman wants a successful man because she wants to marry a winner, then that's admirable. Who wants a loser to father their children, right?
But if said women covets the successful man's money, then its definitely a problem.

But that's the point - if RW are all they're cracked up to be, then I would out-compete literally 99% of Norwegian men. Norwegian girls go for feminine, submissive meterosexual "men", whereas RW supposedly go for ambitious, family-oriented, hard working men that have a manly physique.

Well, I'm over-worked, sleep deprived, worn out and generally in a cranky mood these days. I'll try to behave, though.

It's not about you, it's (supposed) to be about a couple. Until you get your head in the right place, you're going to screw this up.

Find a good woman, fall in love, build a relationship and be sure of each other. That's the basic pattern that leads to success.

Tactically, I agree with the thought that instead of trumpeting your perceived financial and physical assets, you should focus on your personality and beliefs about family and the future. Let the girl be pleasantly surprised by your achievements rather than being bombarded with them like an ad campaign.

As someone brought up the other day, I would rather see my sister married to a trucker than some narcissistic jerk too full of himself to contribute to building a family and relationship of love and respect.

[Andreas]

I did not understand the remainder of your post, yet this is an excellent point.  

Andreas,  in comparison with American attorneys your age, you are well ahead of the curve.  To achieve such success (i. e., billable hours) requires talent and time, a lot of your time.  It is not done working 40 hours per week.

Thanks, Gator!

My boss posted a stat on our internal web page today where he listed each attorneys billable hours so far this year. I'm currently nr. 1 and I'm about 200 hours ahead of the first runner up. As you pointed out, this is not done working 40 hours a week; and then
there's the three (or so) hours that I spend at the gym working my ass off after work.

I often have problems finding enough time to sleep, which means I get irritable, cranky and tell people like Seriously Jaded where to go and burn.  

You have a time conflict.  To know a RW takes a lot of time also.  "Time" is indeed the one "thing" that successful people don't have enough of.

This is a good point, and its frustrating as hell.
I would think that women would be more reflected and actively search out guys who are winners instead of just getting drunk at a night club and find a "fun" loser to go out with.
As the narcissist that I am (and you probably have a point here) I actually think that I shouldn't have to stroll night clubs and bars to find women; it should come more naturally than that, like a side effect of being an alpha male. Yeah, I'm arrogant, but that doesn't mean that I'm wrong.

To me it seems that western women aged 18-30 are more interested in fun "party guys" who are losers with a capital "L" than searching for men that are marriage material. After they've had a couple of kids with these good-for-nothing bums and find out that being a single mom isn't a hoot, then they change their attitude (at age 38).

OK, so I'm exaggerating to make a point, but I don't think I'm way off here. In the mid 70s the average age for women bearing their first child in Norway was 24.
Today the average age (at least for women in the Oslo region) is a whopping 32!
When you take into account that most of the immigrants live in this area the stats are even worse, as immigrant women have children at a far earlier age. Norwegian women seem to pretty much live the same party life style at age 30-35 as they did as teenagers. For someone who hated that life style and thought of it as an un-productive waste of time even as a teenager its completely unbelievable.

So my advice is not to be in a rush to marry but to go slowly.  To speed the process you may be tempted to lead with your success (i. e., money).  Big mistake because such a lure may catch you a shark, albeit a pretty one but not fulfilling in the way a decent, sincere loving woman can be.  So let your success be a surprise to a RW after she is sold on you.  This goes to the title of your thread.

Yeah, I know its easy to fall into these traps, but on the other side I'm sick and tired of being CHEATED out of my prize. Let me explain:

When I grew up I was constantly told (in school, by parents, by TV etc.) that if you worked hard, stayed away from drugs, got an education etc. that it would be rewarded. Now I've spent every god damn minute of my waking life the last 10 years working hard to become a trial lawyer, and an elite level power lifter, and I deserve the hot chick waiting for me when I got home from job, dammit!
Instead these girls hang out with "exciting" drug dealers from Marroco, or "fun" party boys from Sweden who works for minimum wage as bartenders so they wouldn't have to get a real job. God damn, those skinny Swedish party boys are nuisance. They are just so f-ing metrosexual. What the hell does anyone seen in them. *Shakes head in disbelief"

This pisses me off, but I'm not going to lower my standards, change who I am or settle for a green card girl either. If I can't have it all, then I'd rather have nothing!
At this point it seems that Russia have a higher percentage of good marriage material, but that weeding them out from the flock of gold diggers and green card girls could be the project of a life time. As you pointed out - who has that kind of time on their hand?

One other item, you do seem narcissistic and intense.  I suggest you tone down the former, both at work and with women, and find a woman who calms you.

Yeah, I've always been a fanatic. Its what brought me where I am.

This has been mentioned at work as well (for example that time that I worked through the weekend trolling the internet for psychology articles proving that I was right and the court appointed psychologist with 40 years of experience was wrong in a child custody case. Or when I read a nearly 2000 page long commentary edition/encyclopedia on the Norwegian civil process law just for the heck of it. I have been asked - repeatedly - if I'm autistic as a result of this).

It should be noticed that studies show that its nearly impossible to reach elite level in anything - sports, music etc. - without at least 10 000 hours of practice. Even if one is talented, this is the minimum effort required. If you want to be the best, you need to put in maximum effort. Some people call it fanaticism, but that's how Michael Jordan became Michael Jordan, how Steve Young became Steve Young and how Gretzky became Gretzky.

Being a narcissist and extremely intense is probably also a result of me having fought tooth and nails for everything that I got, and I did it (more or less) alone. I studied alone, I worked out alone, and I succeeded alone:

As I've pointed out I have the attitude that everything I produce, every subpoena, every trial, every letter I send out, should bear the mark of quality through and through. If there's room for improvement then it must be improved. Always.

As for my training, I go at it with the same intensity.
I severely tore my groin muscle during a work out that actually made a ripping sound that could be heard 10 yards away. The pain was unbelievable. I recovered and came back stronger. Alone.

I busted both my knees and could hardly even walk a flight of stairs for 18 months, but I refused to give up and I came back. Alone.

In May I tore 40% of my chest muscle in half - all the way from the attachment in my elbow to the center of my chest and I ended up in the emergency room and couldn't even move my arm over my head for several weeks (while looking like I had been in a car crash from all the internal bleeding). I'm still not back in the shape that I was, but I force myself to bench press with that torn muscle four days a week and I hope to make a full recovery in January - about 7-8 months after the injury. Alone.

I put myself through all of this to become (one of) the best at what I do, both in the courtroom and in the gym. Am I then supposed to pretend that the "average Joe" who spends his life with a beer can in one hand and remote control in the other is my equal?

Good luck.  I hope you stay around RWD and keep us informed of your progress.

Thanks, although don't expect any progress anytime soon.

[Andreas]

Gator,

See below, added some emphasis that should make more sense...

Quote
Andreas,

I ignored the rest of the fluff in this thread but your statement above is a red flag.

If there is one essential ingredient I could name it would be time.

Maybe this one [asset] you don't have is the real show stopper, FSU or locally.

Oh.. btw you're a lawyer so don't get upset about the cross [examination].. you'll just loose sympathy with the jury. (referring to somewhat loosing his cool with his responses)

Yeah, from reading trip reports it seems that you must have quite a bit of free time on your hand if you want to find a marry a RW.

[Andreas]

You said your always at work or at the gym.  I think that is your problem going forward.  Not many wives want a husband who is not home.  Now if you find a woman who goes with the gym with you that is what you should do. 

Yeah, she would have to be active and do sports herself.
If I were to find a woman and have kids I would buy a house and build a gym at home in the basement or the garage. That way I'm available even when working out. A lot of the family guys at our gym do that on the weekdays and visit the gym only in the weekends.