Its mostly about finding a wealthy westerner, isn't it? :)

[Faux Pas]

Your deduction is fair enough taking into account your limited knowledge of me.
I know of a lot of "intense" powerlifters who have slowly gotten a more "mellow" personality (in lack of a better word) after meeting a woman, though.

I'm not trying to bust your bawls here Andreas. I just tend to call them like I see them where it may have a chance of helping somebody. If not you, maybe somebody else. The only thing I know of you is what you've declared here in this thread. I haven't really known any powerlifters or bodybuilders since college. The ones I remember mostly, were a good bit more mellow than you project here although still full of testosterone and megalomania. Although, some felt the world revolved around their regimens even they eventually figured out that it doesn't.

My point to make to you here is, relationships take time, effort and commitment. Even bad ones. Generally, you'll get out of them what you put into them. It is as unlikely a woman is going to change you or your habits as you could change her or her habits. 99 times out of 100, it doesn't happen. Nobody can change you, but you. If you want a working healthy relationship to work it will require as much or more, time and commitment than you put into work or working out. The chances of a woman playing third base behind your current calendar is quite remote. If she does for any period of time, beware.

I personally think I would be less "pissed off at the world" if I had the right type of woman, but I'm definitely a person who demands a lot from a potential GF/wife, just as I demand a lot of myself.

This statement is an example and why I fear none of this is soaking in. Even if you are demanding in other aspects of your life, you can't "demand" anything from your partner and expect compliance or submission. Relationships don't work that way. Relationships based on love and mutual respect anyway. It's 50/50 and you have to be prepared to accept much less than your 50 while at times contributing 99.

Right now my attitude is that I have nothing in my life expect what I have built myself through hard work. Thus I have nothing to be humble or grateful towards others for having, either. This might be narcissistic or even outright misanthropic, but that's just the way I feel, these days.

I expect most people on this forum feel the same way for what they have. What you seem to be referring to are material possessions or "stuff". Big deal, it's just stuff. Are you prepared to live alone and cherish your "stuff" over an emotional and physical connection with a lifetime partner?

Again Andreas, I'm not trying bust your bubble or demean your current lifestyle. I have a number of good friends with a similar outlook. They make no excuses for it either. They are alone. Just some food for thought

[BC]

Andreas,

As a lawyer, you know the value of being objective.

I know of a lot of "intense" powerlifters who have slowly gotten a more "mellow" personality (in lack of a better word) after meeting a woman, though.

Were these women RW?  Who were the women who mellowed them out?

You obviously like what you see with other relationships, but instead should maybe first reflect regarding your own past relationships.

I personally think I would be less "pissed off at the world" if I had the right type of woman, but I'm definitely a person who demands a lot from a potential GF/wife, just as I demand a lot of myself.

Resolution is usually found within one's self rather than looking for the solution elsewhere, such as a bottle, box of pills, syringe or fantasy awakening RW websites.  Don't look for a solution or 'easier, softer way'; look for the problem.  Why is a healthy, young, successful, good looking lawyer lonely? Note I did not use the word 'alone' - that can be easily cured at your local bar or happy house.

An emotionally successful relationship is not based on what you demand, but instead what you put into it.

Right now my attitude is that I have nothing in my life expect what I have built myself through hard work. Thus I have nothing to be humble or grateful towards others for having, either. This might be narcissistic or even outright misanthropic, but that's just the way I feel, these days.

Yes, sounds like you are on top of the world and that's great. That you earned your own way to the top an admirable accomplishment.  But don't turn around and say that because of that the world somehow owes you something on the personal side.  Business and emotional satisfaction are somewhere here and somewhere there, rarely do they mix well together, nor does one make the other possible.  Will a hot to trot RW help increase your billable hours?  In my experience definitely not.  In fact the distraction may even get you fired.    

[SANDRO43]

Andreas, maybe your 'intensity' IS one of your basic problems, the word 'maniac' may come to mind reading what you have written about yourself .

Your 'intense' focus on yourself, for admirable reasons to some, may have hampered your developing some social graces that ease rather than obstruct interaction with the female universe .

Concentrating so much on yourself can be detrimental to developing an awareness of others in general: you do NOT deserve anything automatically - regardless of your efforts, which were mainly self-aimed anyway, whatever you gained was for your own personal benefit and enjoyment which, incidentally, no longer seems to be all-fulfilling now. 

Just my €0.02 - I did take Psychology for 2 years in my Uni curriculum, although I cannot boast to any major subsequent achievements in that area .  In other words, try to unbend and relax a little, you might find it surprisingly rewarding for a change .

[ECOCKS]

It might also be worth considering that your intense devotion to certain aspects of life enable you to excel in those areas. Perhaps then you'll need to devote an equal amount of concentration and dedication to achieving maximum success in building a home and attaining a perfect family life.

Look in the mirror awhile and decide if you have the bandwidth for a full life or if your career and quest for physical perfection allow you the room in your life to over-achieve at your expected level. At some point, you have to look at your future ALONE and determine what price (financial, emotional, physical and time) you are willing to pay for your expected gain.

[Gator]

Andreas,

It seems that you are already in a state of change.  You certainly seem rather introspective for a 28-yo.  I am amazed by your ability to discuss complex issues in English far better than some many American men.

Earlier I mentioned your intensity and narcissism, which you acknowledged.  Your obsessiveness concerns me.  No, I am not suggesting that you have OCD, yet you seem compelled to do things.  I don't understand how someone can injure their body so severely in the task of building their body.   Football players do it as part of their professional career, not as a hobby.  Does this behavior spill over into other aspects of life?  No need to respond because we don't need to know the answer.  However, you sure need to know.

Do you feel compelled to seek a hot chick because she is hot? Or do you seek a pretty woman for a complete and profound relationship, loving and mellowing.  File that away please.

My advice is to keep boinking the local talent, and meanwhile keep looking for Ms. Right.  You will at unexpected opportunities cross paths with some.  Keep your eyes open and don't miss any opportunity.  Quite possibly you should explore different sources for women.  For example, have you tried contacting some women from your law school?  Maybe not so pretty, yet they may understand you better than most.  And I doubt they are chasing the Swedish party boys nor do they want a mental midget. 

I still think you should spend a little money on someone like Eduard to find a few promising RW candidates off the beaten path.  Talk to the RW.  See where it goes.  Even make a trip to a city such as St. Petersburg.   If you connect with RW from the provinces, most will be happy to take the train or fly to St. Piter and meet you there.  Some of them are medical doctors or attorneys.


 

[Vinnvinny]

'Andreas' is a figment of someone's imagination 'sent' here to up the post count. I can't believe you guys haven't sussed that yet. 

[Avis]

What a long thread, and all the replies are from RW lol honestly joking.

Being a RW, just wanted to answer the original OP quiestion: 'It's really all about getting into western Europe, isn't it girls?'

Nah it's not
When I met my SO, he lived in Oman, and now he's not even going to live in his Western Motherland, ever
Still I'm going to join him in a so called 3rd world country to settle down permanently
So no, it's not.

It's more about which type of girls you personally pick up.

[Jumper]

Again Andreas, I'm not trying bust your bubble or demean your current lifestyle. I have a number of good friends with a similar outlook. They make no excuses for it either. They are alone. Just some food for thought

same here..

I reread my post and it sounded more accusing than intended..
I simply have several friends that fit the 'general description" you posted here,and they almost all have similar problems with long term relationships.but no problem with short term flings.
.
so it just seems a set pattern for the personality type ,but some do find a good match.

You have  balanced replies to what many would take personally ...
It would seem you'd have little trouble in finding a suitable partner

There wouldn't be all those endless novel's ,poems ,songs ,and movies of unrequited love or relationships ,
if it was easy though ?


Good luck in your search...
 

[Andreas]

Andreas,

It seems that you are already in a state of change.  You certainly seem rather introspective for a 28-yo.  I am amazed by your ability to discuss complex issues in English far better than some many American men.

Thanks again, Gator.
I used to play basketball and american football with some American semi-pros, and that really helped my get a working grasp on English.

Earlier I mentioned your intensity and narcissism, which you acknowledged.  Your obsessiveness concerns me.  No, I am not suggesting that you have OCD, yet you seem compelled to do things.  

You know, I'm starting to suspect that I might have OCPD:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder

Quotes:

"The primary symptoms of OCPD are a preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, and schedules; being very rigid and inflexible in their beliefs; showing perfectionism that interferes with completing a task; excessive focus on being productive with their time; being very conscientious; having inflexible morality, ethics, or values; hoarding items that may no longer have value; and a reluctance to trust a work assignment or task to someone else for fear that their standards will not be met. "

I generally never quit until something is close to perfect. If it can be improved, then I must. Even when playing video game, I fell I "must" complete it, even if it stopped being fun (a long time ago). When playing sports games, I absolutely must win every single game, every season. I think my stat in Madden 2002 was litterally 150-0.

When completing Gears of War, I "had" to complete it again on the "nightmare" difficulty setting. I have a hard time understanding how my friends are able to play a game halfway through and then sell it on EB Games without completing it. I have more than 40 000 gamer points on my xbox account.

I always had a bit of a hard time working in groups at school, unless I knew that the remaining members of the group were all perfectionists with top grades in all subjects. If paired up with average students, I tended to do the entire project myself and simply delegate menial tasks to the others.
I'm currently suing an insurance company (as a client, not a lawyer), and I made sure to put their (mediocre) jurist in his place before hiring a colleague to represent me. Even after handing the case over to another lawyer, I feel a need to double-check everything that's being done in the case to make sure it's being done "right".

More from Wikipedia:

"They may even insist on taking over a task someone else is doing so that it will be done properly. About one in four OCPD individuals may display rigid and stubborn characteristics, a defining criterion".

Yeah, I've definitely got that.

There are a lot of traits in this article that I haven't got, but I think we're on to something here.
I remember that before most of my (serious) injuries I've been in (moderate) pains, sometimes for several weeks, before things finally tear in half. Still I insist on going on with my training regime with the same weights and excersises as the routine calls for, simply because the program "must be finished" and my goals "must be met". I don't compromise on this matter, although I do take steps to alter my routine after every crippling injury.

I don't understand how someone can injure their body so severely in the task of building their body.   Football players do it as part of their professional career, not as a hobby.  Does this behavior spill over into other aspects of life?  No need to respond because we don't need to know the answer.  However, you sure need to know.

Now you sound just like my orthopedic surgeon. 

Do you feel compelled to seek a hot chick because she is hot? Or do you seek a pretty woman for a complete and profound relationship, loving and mellowing.  File that away please.

One alternative does not exclude the other.

My advice is to keep boinking the local talent, and meanwhile keep looking for Ms. Right.  You will at unexpected opportunities cross paths with some.  Keep your eyes open and don't miss any opportunity.  Quite possibly you should explore different sources for women.  For example, have you tried contacting some women from your law school?  Maybe not so pretty, yet they may understand you better than most.  And I doubt they are chasing the Swedish party boys nor do they want a mental midget. 

Some sound advices here, Gator.
I do seem to get much better responses from hot and educated women than I do from hot and uneducated women; and I'll try to socialize more with other jurists in the future.
I've had a tendency to limit my social interaction to a handful of friends, and usually combine socializing with an activity (like training, fishing etc.) as I see the act of sitting down and just doing small talk as somewhat frustrating and unproductive (which brings the OCPD theory right back up again ).

[BC]

Andreas,

In today's world many believe it's necessary to put things in a box and slap a label on it.

The only thing this has created is a huge stack of organized boxes with acronyms stenciled on them. Out of that stack little really gets resolved and much of the contents remain in dispute.

Instead of slapping a label on your comfortable, manageable box, it would be much healthier to learn to think outside of it, better yet climb out and explore things outside your comfort zone.  Upon reflection you may find you even desire some kind of adventure or 'out of box' experience.  The RW 'thing' may have appealed to you because it seemed like a manageable adventure - and the folks around here are telling you it isn't so.

Just food for thought.

[Jooky]

Hey Andreas,

Something for you to think about: Reading this thread makes me picture you as the 'bad guy' in just about every romance fantasy.

Here's how it normally goes: Beautiful girl is betrothed to the wealthy and powerful king/lord/aristocrat who is an arrogant, controlling, narcissistic perfectionist who thinks he is entitled the beautiful girl. She is rescued by the less 'perfect' but more adventurous and romantic knight/renegade/Dread Pirate Roberts/Leo DiCaprio/Shrek.

It's like Gator, AJ and others said above, women more often seek fun, excitement and romance. They want a man that turns them on, not just one that they can admire for his hard work and dedication.

I'm not saying all women think this way. There is someone for everyone. But, the qualities you think should make women fall at your feet, might be the very things that are turning women away.

[Gator]

You know, I'm starting to suspect that I might have OCPD

I don't think so.  People with OPCD do some really weird stuff.  When walking do you avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk pavement?  However, obsessiveness is not a "black-white," "either-or condition."  It is on a continuum, and at the extreme is true OPCD.

Based on the little that we have seen in your posts, I would say a better description is that you are uncompromising and strong willed.  Successful people tend to have the same traits plus something else - they enjoy people and make life a pleasure for those around them. 

If I were you, I would focus not on my strong determination but on my interpersonal relationships.  Start with your peers at work. If you conflict frequently with your peers, or simply turn them off, the same style would probably spill over into your relationships with women.  Keep in mind that the person usually selected to be managing partner is productive yet a "people person."  Andreas, you are young with much to learn. It can be done.

[GQBlues]

I used to play basketball and american football with some American semi-pros, and that really helped my get a working grasp on English.

Memorial? Summer league?

If you went to Russia and tried to import a wife back to your life and country, it'll be like playing through 48 minutes of intense basketball with a pebble in your shoes you can't pull out. That's not a negative view of the women themselves but of the process Andreas. Not with you and what you state here as your personality.

Goodness man....what's wrong with Swedish women?

[Andreas]

Memorial? Summer league?

I played basketball for six years and american football for three. Bother in Norwegian leagues.

Goodness man....what's wrong with Swedish women?

Swedish women are OK; they're usually pretty sweet. It's Swedish men I have a problem with.

[Andreas]

I don't think so.  People with OPCD do some really weird stuff.  When walking do you avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk pavement?  However, obsessiveness is not a "black-white," "either-or condition."  It is on a continuum, and at the extreme is true OPCD.

No, I haven't done anything that weird, but today I refused to leave the office at a reasonable time as I found out I had billed 1 499 809 Norwegian kroner this year, and I couldn't get any peace of mind until I passed 1,5 mill. 

Based on the little that we have seen in your posts, I would say a better description is that you are uncompromising and strong willed.  Successful people tend to have the same traits plus something else - they enjoy people and make life a pleasure for those around them. 

Well, as long as we can all agree that I haven't got ED it's all fine by me. ED:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_dysfunction

If I were you, I would focus not on my strong determination but on my interpersonal relationships.  Start with your peers at work. If you conflict frequently with your peers, or simply turn them off, the same style would probably spill over into your relationships with women.  Keep in mind that the person usually selected to be managing partner is productive yet a "people person."  Andreas, you are young with much to learn. It can be done.

Well, the thing is that I get along great with everyone in my office, so I don't have anyone to "practice" on.

[JR]

Swedish women are OK; they're usually pretty sweet. It's Swedish men I have a problem with.

Then don't date the Swedish men )))

[GQBlues]

I played basketball for six years and american football for three. Bother in Norwegian leagues.

Wow! Were you a Wizard? Patroon? Lightning? Mayhem? Stampede? Interesting, do tell...Euro-Ballers are definitely getting so much better...Legitimate talent pool.

Anyway, there was an incredibly sexy woman from Moscow that I went out with back in '04 that would have fit nicely into your vision. At the time, she was 29, lived and educated in NY for 7 years and was working at a very high level position in the City. Man alive she definitely was fun and a real breathe of fresh air during my search period. She was more like AW than RW. She would have fit your criteria and met your standard fairly easily....

After I got back from the trip, she actually had to go to NY for business and sent me an email wanting to know if she can make a short detour to LA for a few days to, well, see the sights...

I still see her pic on Elena's Model. I'm not sure if that's just an oversight or she's actually still searching...

[tim 360]

Andreas,  I just don't understand?  For a young guy you seem to be very successful in many different pursuits and your English is the best I've ever seen from a Norwegian.  It seems you have conquered many different summits and congratulations. The Scandinavian girls should be all over you like white on rice.  If that's accurate then I would expect RW's would be likewise unless ...you have some negative baggage that turns women off.  Whats wrong with Scandinavian girls?

[BC]

What's wrong with Scandinavian girls?  For a Scandinavian, not exotic enough.  What's wrong with French girls? For a frenchman not exotic enough.  What's wrong with Italian girls? For an Italian not exotic enough.

And no one seems wants made in USA..

[Gator]

I still see her pic on Elena's Model. I'm not sure if that's just an oversight or she's actually still searching...

Bad boy!  Why are you looking?   

Elena's Models gives information their last log-in and response rate to EOIs. 

There was one woman on EM who impressed me very much in 2007.  So this year I try to reconnect. email rejected.  Hasn't logged onto EM in a coon's age.

[GQBlues]

Bad boy!  Why are you looking?   

I really never thought I would be a one-woman man before I married my wife. With the exception of one recent weekend day in Sta. Barbara, I don't even look at women the way I used to anymore.

Hasn't logged onto EM in a coon's age.

Haven't heard that term in a while...'fair to middlin'' is another one. 

[Gator]

I really never thought I would be a one-woman man before I married my wife.

Knowing you, that was difficult.  Be good to the woman whose mere presence makes you stop thinking about other women. 

With the exception of one recent weekend day in Sta. Barbara, I don't even look at women the way I used to anymore.

Sta Barabara must have been exceptional.  Hope it was a shemale.


Are you ready for the Manny Pac-Man show?

[erudite]

Haven't heard that term in a while...'fair to middlin'' is another one. 

Ever heard the terms "hoeing a long row" or "gettin' in the short rows"?  What about "Gee and Haw"?

[GQBlues]

Are you ready for the Manny Pac-Man show?

Manong Manny could get rocked tonight. Training didn't get done...too much Congress in his mind. He's not peaked...but maybe 70% is still fast enough to mow Margarito down. Margarito did have to shed a few pounds down so he'll be running close to empty by the 3rd round. Just like Coto. If not, win or lose...Manong will likely still carry a happy attitude.

Manong needs to quit. Serve the people through politics instead from now on. Sponsor contract money should funnel enough money for a while for the community. Besides, it's time...

Ever heard the terms "hoeing a long row" or "gettin' in the short rows"?  What about "Gee and Haw"?

Second one I remember first hearing in Lincoln, Nebraska. I was visiting a GF from Omaha and drove down to Lincoln to watch Cornhuskers' football game against Kansas State...4th quarter and she said, 'Darlin'..we're gettin' down the short row and we'll be done back to havin' fun!" LOL.

Gee and Haw was always mentioned when I had my QH. I was told that originated from HeeHaw, which came from the sound horses make when they neigh and buck, then skip left to right. Gee and haw as in turn left and right, yes?

First one, I never heard of....I remember scrambling through dictionaries to find meanings to some of these words/phrases and be so clueless....the 'F' word is a good example.

[Aloe]

Uh oh, where do i start... Men who do not compromise, men who show off all the time, maniacs who tear up their own body in spite of any kind of common sense, all get discarded very very fast. Let alone a man who combines all 3. I'm having a tough time trying to decide which of the 3 is the worst. All 3 are pretty damn awful and a gigantic, galaxy size turn-off.