Lying about age

[possum]

Oftentimes when I browse through the profiles on dating sites- international and local- I come across women who are obviously older than the age they declare themselves to be.. Granted, I may not be very good at guessing age, and most women, at least to me, look their age or younger, this trend is very alarming, not to mention ridiculous.. Furthermore, it seems counter intuitive to me.. Wouldn't you rather be complimented on how good you look at your age than leave a man wondering what may have happened to you that destroyed your looks before your time?.

On to the question part of my post.. Do you find it acceptable to start a relationship with a lie? Do you think it's a smart thing to do?. Or maybe you think I'm making something out of nothing, and everybody does it, and there's nothing wrong with this little white lie?

[BillyB]

On to the question part of my post.. Do you find it acceptable to start a relationship with a lie? Do you think it's a smart thing to do?. Or maybe you think I'm making something out of nothing, and everybody does it, and there's nothing wrong with this little white lie?

I dated a local RW who lied about her age. She was older than what she stated in her profile. She revealed to me the truth on the first date and I didn't hold the lie against her. I was more interested in figuring out her character. Her excuse for saying she was younger was to increase her chances to find a man for marriage. She said many Russian men don't want to marry a woman over 30.

Does a little white lie reflect on her character? I don't know but when she figured I was not moving toward marriage with her, she said she needed financial help with her education in exchange for intimacy.

[acctBill]

Possum don't women lie about their age where you live?  AW, European women and FSUW all lie about their ages.  Not only do some of the older women lie about their age to make themselves younger, some of the very young women (18 or 19) will lie about their age to make themselves older if necessary.  Certainly any information a woman gives on a dating website is going to be suspect.  Just like any information a man gives in his introductory letter is going to be suspect.  Is he really 6' and 43 or 5'10" and 50?

[Aloe]

I was 18 for many years From 14 to actual 18. Don't see a purpose in saying i'm younger though

[possum]

Possum don't women lie about their age where you live? 

Yes, they do, hence my mention of local sites..

AW, European women and FSUW all lie about their ages.  Not only do some of the older women lie about their age to make themselves younger, some of the very young women (18 or 19) will lie about their age to make themselves older if necessary.  Certainly any information a woman gives on a dating website is going to be suspect.  Just like any information a man gives in his introductory letter is going to be suspect.  Is he really 6' and 43 or 5'10" and 50?

If I understood you correctly, you're saying that all Internet relationships are based on mistrust and suspicion.. Lies and deception, however significant or petty, are to be expected and met with equal amount of insincerity.. But doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of having a relationship in the first place? If you have to assume you are being lied to from the beginning, what's the point of continuing communication?.

[possum]

I was 18 for many years From 14 to actual 18. Don't see a purpose in saying i'm younger though

It's one thing for a teenager to pretend to be of age, Lord knows I was guilty of that myself when I first discovered the Internet , but it's quite another for an adult to knowingly lead another adult astray..

[Aloe]

It's one thing for a teenager to pretend to be of age, Lord knows I was guilty of that myself when I first discovered the Internet , but it's quite another for an adult to knowingly lead another adult astray..

Nah, i think it's pretty much the same, adult or teenager, still lying. So if you did this yourself, then its kettle calling the pot...

[Shadow]

Not only the women lie about their age.
Although men usually instead of lying about their age add the famous sentence "But I look 10 years younger" while adding a picture of 20 years ago...

[possum]

Nah, i think it's pretty much the same, adult or teenager, still lying. So if you did this yourself, then its kettle calling the pot...

Nah, a teenager is still a child.. I'm talking about people over 40, for the most part.. Should they get a pass?

[Aloe]

Nah, a teenager is still a child.. I'm talking about people over 40, for the most part.. Should they get a pass?

So what are you saying, people from 13 to 19 should not be convicted for murder cuz they are still children? They are fully aware of what they are doing. Murdering or lying or anything else So they should get the same consideration for the same actions (be it murdering or lying) as adults. I do not think that a 20 yr old or a 40 yr old lying is more grave than a 19 yr old or a 15 yr old lying. It's the same. 

[possum]

So what are you saying, people from 13 to 19 should not be convicted for murder cuz they are still children? They are fully aware of what they are doing. Murdering or lying or anything else So they should get the same consideration for the same actions (be it murdering or lying) as adults.

Apples and oranges.. Lying about one's age is not a criminal offense unless it's used to facilitate illicit activity, such as buying alcohol or posing as a child in the case of child molesters, and so on..

[possum]

Think of it this way: when a child breaks wind on the bus, no sane person wants to punch them in the face.. There are different standards of acceptable behavior for different age groups.

[Aloe]

Think of it this way: when a child breaks wind on the bus, no sane person wants to punch them in the face.. There are different standards of acceptable behavior for different age groups.

I don't wanna punch adults in the face for farting. What exactly are the standards you are talking about? Personally i find most of the standards silly. For example when people laugh at women "who dress wrong for their age", who cares what a person wants to wear? Or when an older woman dates someone 20 years younger, again, who cares, good for her. Yet people come up with special names for such women. Most of these "standards" for every age are BS, imo. Anyone above 14 should be fully responsible for their own actions. Under 14 ok, different standards are the right thing, but over 14, not so much. IMO

[possum]

I don't wanna punch adults in the face for farting. What exactly are the standards you are talking about? Personally i find it silly, when people mock women "who dress wrong for their age", who cares what a person wants to wear? Or when an older woman dates someone 20 years younger, again, who cares, good for her! Yet people come up with special names for such women.

None of what you've written above has anything to do with the questions in the OP.. Perhaps you're confusing this thread with the "cougar cruise" thread.. But just so we're clear, I have nothing against older women dating younger men..

Anyone above 14 should be fully responsible for their own actions. Under 14 ok, different standards are right, but over 14, not so much. IMO

Besides your personal experience, what are you basing this on?. I actually agree with the part about responsibility for one's own actions, but I also think it's rather silly to compare something you or I may have done when we were teenagers playing a computer game with lying/misrepresenting oneself on a dating site as an adult..

[Lily]

 There are different standards of acceptable behavior for different age groups.

Lies are never good. As far as I can remember, President Clinton's bad was not what he did with Levinski, but that he lied.

Some people do not want to disclose their age because of the reason that I quote. However, not disclosing and lying are different things.

On the other hand, on the dating sites there are other considerations. First, one cannot omit the age in the profile. Profiles show the person's age right away, even before the photos are shown. Also, sometimes computerized profile systems show it incorrectly, in either side.

The profile owners, men and women, sometimes lie about their ages mostly because of one apparently valid reason, this would be to get into a more sought after age group. I knew men who, irrespectively of their year of birth, showed themselves as 39 yo in order to get into the 'under forty' group and therefore appear in searches.

As for me, I used to be truthful in my profile. If someone is into me but at the same time is less than comfortable about the year when I was born, he is free to move on from me. 

Also I don't ask people how old they are, because I don't think that this is a significant information for me. I look at the person, not in his ID.

[possum]

Lies are never good. As far as I can remember, President Clinton's bad was not what he did with Levinski, but that he lied.

Some people do not want to disclose their age because of the reason that I quote. However, not disclosing and lying are different things.

Amen to that.. It's better to leave them guessing than wondering why a 30 year old woman looks like their granny..

On the other hand, on the dating sites there are other considerations. First, one cannot omit the age in the profile. Profiles show the person's age right away, even before the photos are shown. Also, sometimes computerized profile systems show it incorrectly, in either side.

One way to protect your privacy on a dating site is to put an obviously bogus date of birth, like Jan 1, 1910.. Your age will show as 100 years, and no one will be the wiser as to your actual age bracket..

The profile owners, men and women, sometimes lie about their ages mostly because of one apparently valid reason, this would be to get into a more sought after age group. I knew men who, irrespectively of their year of birth, showed themselves as 39 yo in order to get into the 'under forty' group and therefore appear in searches.

What happens when they misrepresent themselves in such a manner and then fail to "pull it off" in person?. I can't imagine their date being too happy about that..

[Faux Pas]

possum

I think it's more a case of vanity and denial. Kind of what shadow eluded to. This is a trait with both men and women. Some people are unwilling to accept the obvious, that they are not as young as they use to be thus, do everything to convince themselves and others that they can pass for a younger age. Those that can are usually much more rare than those who can't. Again, vanity and denial, 

[kievstar]

Many times it is the agency that changes the age and height of the RW.

If a RW is actually 180 cm or taller most agencies will list her in the 174 - 178 cm range.  Why - the shorter man and  taller woman issue.

Also many RW who are 30 to 32 are listed at 28 or 29 on the agency website. 


Agencies are about letter writing and they will change the profile of RW as they tend to write it anyways.


Until you meet face to face you really do not know the weight, height, age.  If it bothers you, than stop writing and visit often. 

[Chicagoguy]

I was pleasantly suprised to find out that every woman I dated was exactly as represented. Also, in my older age bracket I never saw any women who were suspicious.

[Turboguy]

I have to go along with Chicagoguy.  With a very few exceptions everyone I met was as advertised.  I can think of one woman who used very old photos, one of the first I met actually.  I did meet one who probably understated her height a little.  I belive she listed her height as about 6 feet and was really about 6'3". 

Now with American women I found a lot of dishonesty about weight.  One of the last women I communicated with through POF listed her weigth as average.  Actually she was 5'2 and 180 and that is what she told me on the phone and may well have been another understatement.  She said since most women her age are fat (not her words) that she felt "average" was a proper description. 

[Nat]

Not only the women lie about their age.
Although men usually instead of lying about their age add the famous sentence "But I look 10 years younger" while adding a picture of 20 years ago...

Exactly  Some gals lie about their age to get into the group during screening process, and some guys keep sending out 20 years old photos and claiming they look the same now

[Chicagoguy]

More lies on age.

At a retirement community a 70 year old gentleman walked into the clubhouse with his new 29 year old drop dead gorgeous wife.

As soon as they were seperated some of the men gathered around him. What is going on here ?   How did you do this ?

Easy, he replied. "I told her I was 90."

[tim 360]

Most teenagers would like to say they are a little older than they really.  I've known many 17 year olds who will say they are 18 or almost 18 even when their birthday is many months away. Early to late 20's most girls will tell you their actual age and be proud of it.  But as women get older I was taught it was impolite to ask a woman's age..or weight, yet some may ask you to guess their age.   By their mid-30's most women would rather round-down their age, yet as a teenager they rounded-up. 

Most people really look the age they are.  Gravity, sun, and time are very strong forces upon the human body.

I know,  there are some guys out there who will tell you they really look younger than they are.  They will say that most people even tell them that.

Well,  I've had many women ask me to guess their age in conversations and in social settings.  I will usually round-down by at least a good number of years and although I may lose because I guessed too young--it usually works out just fine and I've made a lady very happy by telling...a little lie.  :evil:

[GQBlues]

In the lower left coast, men of advanced ages can be easily spotted. They'll be the ones driving convertibles while women of advanced age drive only Benz/Lexus...

[Gylden]

I don't get it???

First people spend much time convincing each other that age gaps really don't matter.

Then discover people who lie about their age......and then spend a lot of time talking about if it is bad to lie about it.

Just kidding of course, but enjoying the bit of irony!