Be careful out there

[civi68]

Guys, I wanted to share some recent experiences I had with FSU women sharing their opinions on guys. I am not talking about young women with old men but attractive women in their 30's with age appropriate men. A woman that I don't plan on visiting her city continues to correspond with me as a friend. Also, a recent friend went on a blind date in the US set up by a FSU woman friend. The woman he met wasn't interested in him. She was divorced from her American husband. When he talked to her friend, she replied that once an attractive FSU woman is in the US, she has a lot more choices of men so she will be more particular and interested in more attractive men. She emphasized that FSU women feel that they have to settle for the average/below average men who travel but a new world opens up when they are here to meet the above average man. He was somewhat disappointed in that her reaction towards him was nowhere near the reactions when he meets women in Ukraine. But it was good to hear that his FSU friend was married to an "average" man, was in love with him, and had no interest in leaving him for other men.
    The woman I write to as a friend shares her and her friends' frustrations with the quality of men on sites and who travel. The frustration is just not about older men but about the overall attractiveness of 90% of the men. They wonder where are all of the good looking men from the US and Europe. I respond that they are here but they don't travel because they can find attractive women here. The challenging part we have to look out for is that her friends and her are still willing to meet these men and some also pursue visas.
    While they may not share their trues thoughts with the men so the men may think that the woman is just nervous about leaving her country or doesn't know him well enough, the women are ambivalent because they are not attracted to the men but want to leave their country. This woman I write is considering leaving the site because she doesn't find most of the men physically appealing.
     I don't want to give out the specific dating site I use but it is one of the paid ones with women from everywhere. There are more than enough men and women on the site. Rarely, do I find scammers there asking for money. Interestingly, of the several women I contacted over the past few months, over half are no longer active on the site or deleted their profiles after about two months on the site. I doubt the reason is because of lack of men interested in meeting them. I would suspect they didn't find most of us appealing.
      I am not saying that none of the women are interested in the men. It is just good for us to be careful. Many guys have been doing this for years and some met a woman early in their search. In reading posts on discussion sites, a lot of discussions are about challenges of finding someone sincerely interested, getting mixed signals on whether a woman is interested, wondering if a problem is a cultural/language barriers or just not genuine interest , women meeting you for dinners but the relationship going nowhere, women on sites and agencies for years, etc.
     We sometimes call these women "professional" daters. A lot of complaints about agencies is that men feel that some women are not sincere. There are bad agencies but I have used some good ones for meeting women. Even the good ones have women who may be sincere for a relationship but not interested in most of the men who visit. If a woman meets 20 American men and doesn't like most of them, she is probably not going to like most of us traveling.
     Men complain about the socials for the same reasons. When I first traveled in 1999, I used the socials and it was great for 80% of the men. Most of us got sex within a few days and the women pursued us. But that was after the ruble crashed. Upon my return in 2001, there was a different feel to the socials with less visas and less potential relationships. More men were complaining they did not meet anyone. Only a few had sex. The social concept was good when most women were interested in leaving but not with today's conditions.
     From my experience, it takes at least two trips to get a feel for the woman. While there are some debates about sex, having sex a few times as opposed to never having sex before a visa is preferable. A woman should be as excited and passionate about you as you are about her. After about 3 or 4 dates, if she won't spend time with you in your flat or won't sit on the couch with you and be affectionate, or have sex at some point, it may be time to move on. Of course, I found out later that some of my worst ones had sex with me, too!
      Some men also consider the English teaching option to live in an environment where the women have less choices. That can work as well. However, I know of a recent English teacher who left Russia saying that those days are not as good as they were years ago. He taught in Russia for about 10 years.
     So everyone, be careful out there. Finding an attractive women who will stick by you is tough for most guys, whether they find an American one or one from somewhere else. Hopefully, many of us will find a good one.

[BC]

May sound a bit crude, but on this day I don't believe folks really relish either the leftover turkey or the trots..

Is there a similarity?

Oh well..

[mies]

    So everyone, be careful out there. Finding an attractive women who will stick by you is tough for most guys, whether they find an American one or one from somewhere else. Hopefully, many of us will find a good one.

For a person who's traveling to FSU for 11 years you sound either too naive, or what's more likely - delusional.
Can you imagine a guy who will pick unattractive control freak for a wife, 10 years his senior, if he can date a "perfect 10" and a sweetheart, 5 years his junior? Ok, how about if the guy is dirt poor, and the "old witch" comes in a package with nice inheritance/real estate/sweet bank accounts etc?
Why do you think women are any different than men are? Why do you think FSU people are completely different from USA people? They aren't.
btw -  have you been married in these 11 years of search for a perfect Russian wife?

[civi68]

That was my point, that people are not different. No, I was not married.

[mies]

That was my point, that people are not different.

Then basically, what you are saying is: "Beware, Russian women are no different than American men." 

[Daveman]

Then basically, what you are saying is: "Beware, Russian women are no different than American men." 

It's a little deeper. I think he's saying "Beware the trap of your own possible delusive thoughts about RW."

[tfcrew]

Re: Be careful out there

Yeah these warnings come in every month or so.
Remember Amerikanski anyone?

[Vaughn]

Remember Amerikanski anyone?

Yeah, except he misspelled it "amerkanski". Creepy dude. Got friendly with me in chat, then
reared his ugly side in a thread. 

[SFandEE]

For those of us who are able to attract quality women here, but have also created options by exploring opportunities in other countries it sounds like the prevailing thought from this thread is

don't bother with RS/UW the downside is too big

[Daveman]

For those of us who are able to attract quality women here, but have also created options by exploring opportunities in other countries it sounds like the prevailing thought from this thread is

don't bother with RS/UW the downside is too big

Well, it does seem to be a wonderfully adventurous pain in the butt.  I don't think many share the belief that the downside is exceedingly large, but rather that it's a delusion to believe that the FSU and her women are some sort of panacea for relationship woes.  Wouldn't you agree that many of the guys doing this tend to create their own "downsides" with what they want, wish, and ultimately choose to believe about RW and/or women in general?



 

[wicheese]

The woman I write to as a friend shares her and her friends' frustrations with the quality of men on sites and who travel. The frustration is just not about older men but about the overall attractiveness of 90% of the men. They wonder where are all of the good looking men from the US and Europe. I respond that they are here but they don't travel because they can find attractive women here.

I think this is pretty common sense as most men get started looking in the FSU because they believed the propaganda they read on the Internet, throw in the usual unrealistic expectation (why else do we even read the propaganda in the first place as its because we want to believe it) as I have never seen a post on these forums where a man admitted to being ugly (OK, I have not been on-line a long time so it's only my experience,  ) with the net outcome being most men contacting women out of their league (after all, unless we can upgrade the type of lady we can date here, why go through with the hassle of looking overseas) and unless the lady has a strong motivation (thinking economics) to accept the man then she'll pass. 

Now with everything there are exceptions.  As an FSUW friend who lives locally told me about meeting three UW at a ladies only party over the weekend and said one of them was happily married for 10 years while admitting that her husband was 27 years older. 

[Markus]

Oh yea, be very careful.

My wife just happened to get the best looking guy available during her "available" time. Wait, maybe it was the other way around...

Be careful? There are some common sense things to watch out for, but, if I was pursuing an AW down the road, I'm still going to be careful.

Jeez, this process isn't rocket science.  

As usual in my responses, I proposed during the 1st week of meeting my wife, got married 6 months later and have 6 years of marriage; 7 in 8 months.

The differences between courting a RW or AW are not as different as some of the opinions I read so often.

In the long haul, there are not  many differences at all....just a few.