break up from RW - difficult time

[Kuna]

Good decision....  now... can we help you decide what type of trip to take next (WMVM/WOVO) and what sort of age gaps is appropriate???

There are always the feisty debates in here.

;-)

[Gator]

Partizan,

You seem to have made a remarkable recovery from that forlorn Irishman crying in his Guinness.  Yes, the best cure is to get back into the saddle.  And establishing an interim goal (shaping at the sport club) is also excellent.  All of this in a short period of time.  Your pragmatism will serve you well in Sochi, as will knowledge of Russian.

Have fun in Sochi and with the local talent in the interim.

[Partizan]

Good decision....  now... can we help you decide what type of trip to take next (WMVM/WOVO) and what sort of age gaps is appropriate???

There are always the feisty debates in here.

;-)

What does that mean? Seriously, I'm not into the whole internet brides/organised tours thingy. I just like to meet women in their natural environment but however I am willing to accept and take any advice from their experts here  The kind of pitfalls to look out for, appropriate age gap and overall content of trip. I'm all ears.

[Partizan]

Partizan,

You seem to have made a remarkable recovery from that forlorn Irishman crying in his Guinness.  Yes, the best cure is to get back into the saddle.  And establishing an interim goal (shaping at the sport club) is also excellent.  All of this in a short period of time.  Your pragmatism will serve you well in Sochi, as will knowledge of Russian.

Have fun in Sochi and with the local talent in the interim.

Well Gator, I havent fully recovered yet. I'm still in pain, I do get the pangs and I miss her but there is no use crying over spilt milk. She is gone and there is nothing I can do to bring her back. Time to get positive and snap out of my self induced melodramatic stupor. I joined a gym before Christmas in a bid to get back into the shape that I had a few years ago and I'm already seeing the results.

A couple of my Russian friends work in the hospitality & tourist sector in Sochi and they have invited me over. I'll be in Russia for 3 weeks in June/July this year and I plan on dividing it up between Sochi and Ekaterinburg where I have friends and relatives. I picked up some Russian in Bulgaria and I'm studying at the moment on Rostetta Stone. I ws always good at languages having been brought up in a bilingual home (English & Irish).

Now what I'm looking for is a bit of advice and how to handle these ladies, pitfalls, the do's & dont's, structure of holiday etc.

P.S. I bloody hate Guinness. 

Sláinte.

[JR]

Mood swings, depression...better off without it.

Move on.

Tick Tock, hear that? It's your life passing, don't waste it on empty tears. Life is ahead of you, not behind.

[Faux Pas]

P.S. I bloody hate Guinness. 

Sláinte.

Jesus' H. Criminy! It's worse than we thought.

I love me some Guinness and I ain't even Irish 

[2tallbill]

JMO.....(and opinions are like assh*les, everybody has one) Stay away from "damaged" women.
You can't help them and you certainly cannot "fix" them.
Have "healthy" relationship(s).
Good luck!

GOB

+1

Consider this a learning experience and move on. Is it tough? yes, but
you are one step closer and wiser to finding a high quality woman to share
your life with.

Udachi

Bill

[GQBlues]

Is it tough? yes,

Aww, c'mon Bill. No it isn't! It's an oxymoron but heartache is just a state of mind. Why? Because....

...you are one step closer and wiser to finding a high quality woman to share your life with....

Besides, breaking up is actually fun because you can declare open season on any/all cute women until then.  

An 'ex' broke up with me before saying she doesn't want to ever see me again. The next day I went out on a date and she stumbled upon me and my date making out by my car outside a restaurant, and my 'ex' wigged out and just stood over us.

My date was surprised and asked if I knew this woman. I turned around at the same time my 'ex' screaming, "I'm his GF!". I said, " EX! We broke up yesterday, remember?".

"But that was only yesterday, you SOB!"

"Good. That should give you ample time to sort things out yourself! Without me in it!"

Life's too short. Why spend some (time) of it under someone else's life's insecurities and uncertainties?

[2tallbill]

My date was surprised and asked if I knew this woman. I turned around at the same time my 'ex' screaming, "I'm his GF!". I said, " EX! We broke up yesterday, remember?".

"But that was only yesterday, you SOB!"

"Good. That should give you ample time to sort things out yourself! Without me in it!"

Life's too short. Why spend some (time) of it under someone else's life's insecurities and uncertainties?

LOL

[I/O]

Now what I'm looking for is a bit of advice and how to handle these ladies, pitfalls, the do's & dont's

Generally it's considered more polite to remove the blouse before the skirt.

[Partizan]

Generally it's considered more polite to remove the blouse before the skirt.

hardy har  

Seriously I'm looking for advice here. I'm in the recovery process now.

[I/O]

Partizan: My point in being deliberately flippant was and is, it isn't rocket science. I do NOT subscribe to the argument that women are the same the world over, far from it in fact and I have dated across a fair range of areas but................for the most part, some things are common and reading the "tea leaves" as it were is one of the commonalities IMO. In other words, if you don't know your way around people and women in particular to some extent, nobody can help you and you shouldn't be involved in dating across borders. Somehow I suspect you do know your moves to some extent and are suffering from battered confidence right now. Get over it.

The moralists and prudes will howl it down but stepping back "on" here and there isn't the worst way to find your form again. Apart from language, there really isn't anything very specific to dating a RW (in the context of women in general) however, (IMO) when you get a bit further down the track there are a few oddities, most of them positive but not always the same. Those things, IMO, you really do have to figure out as you go along. Back to the basics, start from the top and work................ 

[Kuna]

Partizan,

Don't let the advice in here overwhelm you... in some ways it may seem highly theoretical and complex, but really at the end of the day what we all were seeking, and you are still seeking, is one genuine relationship with one genuine woman with whom you can build a life with.

So...

I think it starts with WHO YOU ARE... you really should be highly introspective to understand who you are, what you're looking for and why?

What do you  seek in a lady? Professionally?  Socially? Spiritually?How old?  What shouldher likesand dislikes be?  It's more than whether she is a smoker and  or drinker(though thesemay also be important?

Where will you search? Russia? Ukraine?  Somewhere else???

Big city girl? Small city girl? Villages? There's debates about all of the above?

How oldare you... how old would you like her To be?  What sort of age gap makes sense and what doesn't?  Are girls under 25 actually different than girls over 25 and why???  

How will you find her?  Marriage Agency? Introduction site? Local (FSU) dating site?  Free sites?  How about just traveling and meeting someone naturally? Some men use guides...some would never use a guide? Some go on tours, some not.

How do you find a trustworthy site?

Are you comfortable WMVM (Writing to many girls and visiting many girls)? What do you say if they ask if you'rewriting toothers?

Are you more comfortable WOVO (Writing to One girl and then Visiting that one girl)?  What happens if sparks don't fly when you meet that one girl??? What will your backup plan be?

When you connect with girl(s) online how long should you write before traveling? Should she already be able to speak English? What if she doesn't?  Can you speak Russian? How will you communicate?  

It goes on and on...but the best way of getting info in here is to ask questions as they arise... listen to the answers and try to workout who is full of sh!t and who has half a clue.  Ultimately you'll need to choose the advice that makes most sense (sometimes it's painful advice too) and then it's all up to you.

Most of all I'd say keep your feet on the ground.  Don't believe the web sites... don't pay per letter... don't trust any service providers no matter how much they want you to trust them and remember it's not a relationship until after you meet and click.

Never, EVER send money and don't treat them differently than you'd treat a girl at home just because they have a sexy accent and she has great legs...  this needs to be a relationship that lasts right?

Enough to get you thinking???

Ask away...  there's lots of men here who'd like to help!

[GoodOlBoy]

Never, EVER send money......

....and make sure to check out the RWD 10 Commandments:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?pid=2

GOB

[Gator]

Now what I'm looking for is a bit of advice and how to handle these ladies, pitfalls, the do's & dont's, structure of holiday etc.

It is important to act normal.  Seriously.  If you make a woman feel comfortable, it will encourage her to open up, and only then will you get to know her.  Many men are not normal around pretty women.

I agree with I/O that women are not the same around the world.  I don't know about Irish women, yet American women enjoy talking about past relationships.  RW are the opposite; past is past.  Because you are still in the recovery stage, you may easily dwell on the moody RW who ditched you rather than the woman looking into your eyes.  Don't do that.   Avoid any discussion.  Be mysterious about that failed relationship.  There will be a better time to discuss it.

Regarding more specific advice, there was a well written, lengthy thread about "game" and RW.  It was a central part of TwoBitBandit's trip report to Novosibirsk.  Something about tears.

[JR]

I am willing to accept and take any advice from their experts here   

There are no experts here, just opinions and you know what they say about those.

[Faux Pas]

It is important to act normal.  Seriously.  If you make a woman feel comfortable, it will encourage her to open up, and only then will you get to know her.  Many men are not normal around pretty women.

I agree with I/O that women are not the same around the world.  I don't know about Irish women, yet American women enjoy talking about past relationships.  RW are the opposite; past is past.  Because you are still in the recovery stage, you may easily dwell on the moody RW who ditched you rather than the woman looking into your eyes.  Don't do that.   Avoid any discussion.  Be mysterious about that failed relationship.  There will be a better time to discuss it.

Regarding more specific advice, there was a well written, lengthy thread about "game" and RW.  It was a central part of TwoBitBandit's trip report to Novosibirsk.  Something about tears.

Partizan

I don't particularly agree with I/O or Gator on that line but, no matter. I haven't traveled as much as these guys but I have traveled and where I have, I find the emotional core values of women to be pretty much the same the world over, more specifically, first world countries. Different experiences will yield different results. Oh yes there are many differences in RW from AW and I suspect IW. These are cultural based differences, language issues and a whole host of others. Bottom line IMO, reaching the emotional core for women from different cultures requires a different path than what you are accustom to. The game is as different as the women but, the victory, the prize and the relationship is the same.

I'm not stating that dating or marrying a Pygmy women from New Guinea is the same as an Irish, Russian or an American. It's not. I am saying that the core of these women are the same. They are looking for love, emotional and financial security (mostly). Appeal to that and I think you'll find women much more receptive to your desires and what you require in a woman. Regardless of what continent you are on there are still some basic rules to attraction that do not change any where.

[SANDRO43]

 

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipzh4_W1KQ0[/youtube]
1962

[GQBlues]

Take a cue from Yuri & Co.

They don't put too much stock in one woman, at least not after a week or two. There's so many of them out there they hardly suffer silly heartaches. I doubt any of them, if any at all, sits around moping with a broken heart listening to the radio and trying to relate their state to every song they hear, e.g. YMCA, Disco Inferno, etc..

I will never understand why western men do this all the time. Hallmark cards and FTDs make a killing over this every year. Think about that for a minute...

Life and living is not a tediously complex equation and this is not the time to be philosophical about any of this either. Make it simple. That song in the radio is not about you. It never was.... Russian men will never take this type of attitude - and look how their women react to them. Tell any of them about your heartache and they'll look at you as if you're nuts.

[I/O]

Russian men will never take this type of attitude - and look how their women react to them. Tell any of them about your heartache and they'll look at you as if you're nuts.

GQ: Your point is taken but....................have you noticed, although the Hallmark card sales don't depend on the divorced men in Rusisa, Vodka sales are assisted by that group?

[GQBlues]

Soviet urban legend has it I/O that the women were the ones that seeded the spirit. They needed to at least slow sexy Yuri and beasty Sergei down some and it appears the 'V' has been fairly effective. I doubt there's enough females in Russia to go around had these guys been sober more than just half the time.

But now with this latest thread, I am left to ponder what purpose those Irish Pubs really serve...

[Rubicon]

Take a cue from Yuri & Co.

They don't put too much stock in one woman, at least not after a week or two. There's so many of them out there they hardly suffer silly heartaches. I doubt any of them, if any at all, sits around moping with a broken heart listening to the radio and trying to relate their state to every song they hear, e.g. YMCA, Disco Inferno, etc..

I will never understand why western men do this all the time. Hallmark cards and FTDs make a killing over this every year. Think about that for a minute...

Life and living is not a tediously complex equation and this is not the time to be philosophical about any of this either. Make it simple. That song in the radio is not about you. It never was.... Russian men will never take this type of attitude - and look how their women react to them. Tell any of them about your heartache and they'll look at you as if you're nuts.

if AM, WM did have the cajonies to act more like Russian Men, than western women would have to reform their negative attitudes in order to get a date!!

[Rubicon]

hardy har  

Seriously I'm looking for advice here. I'm in the recovery process now.

the best way to forget her is to meet someone new!!  you are wasting time moping over a manic depressive woman.  Pychs get paid big money to deal with them, not you!!

[2tallbill]

hardy har  

Seriously I'm looking for advice here. I'm in the recovery process now.

OK, here is a plan.

First make a list of what you are looking for in a woman.

Then find a woman with the characteristics on the list you made.
The easiest way to forget a woman is in the arms of another

[Partizan]

Partizan,

Don't let the advice in here overwhelm you... in some ways it may seem highly theoretical and complex, but really at the end of the day what we all were seeking, and you are still seeking, is one genuine relationship with one genuine woman with whom you can build a life with.

So...

I think it starts with WHO YOU ARE... you really should be highly introspective to understand who you are, what you're looking for and why?

What do you  seek in a lady? Professionally?  Socially? Spiritually?How old?  What shouldher likesand dislikes be?  It's more than whether she is a smoker and  or drinker(though thesemay also be important?

Where do you want want me to start? Professionally, well yes she must have a legit career. Socially, yes I women I can relate to, i.e. compatibility. Age: 25-31

Where will you search? Russia? Ukraine?  Somewhere else???

Anywhere

Big city girl? Small city girl? Villages? There's debates about all of the above?

Doesnt matter where she is from. Does it to you or the guys here?

How old are you... how old would you like her To be?  What sort of age gap makes sense and what doesn't?  Are girls under 25 actually different than girls over 25 and why???  

I'm 33 y.o. Regarding age group, half my age + 7 = 24 onwards. From my own experience, I find women who are >25 are more mature than there younger peers in terms of life experience, sexuality, attitude etc. These women know what they want whereas their younger peers just want to party, fool around, experiment and have a good time.

How will you find her?  Marriage Agency? Introduction site? Local (FSU) dating site?  Free sites?  How about just traveling and meeting someone naturally? Some men use guides...some would never use a guide? Some go on tours, some not.

I have no intention of using any agencies, dating sites or Introduction sites. I am more into meeting people naturally and it is how I usually do and have had sucesses.

How do you find a trustworthy site?

N/A

Are you comfortable WMVM (Writing to many girls and visiting many girls)? What do you say if they ask if you'rewriting toothers?

N/A

Are you more comfortable WOVO (Writing to One girl and then Visiting that one girl)?  What happens if sparks don't fly when you meet that one girl??? What will your backup plan be?

N/A

When you connect with girl(s) online how long should you write before traveling? Should she already be able to speak English? What if she doesn't?  Can you speak Russian? How will you communicate?  

N/A. My Russian is ok but I'm improving it via Rostetta Stone. By the time I go to Russia in the summer, I will have a good command of the language.

It goes on and on...but the best way of getting info in here is to ask questions as they arise... listen to the answers and try to workout who is full of sh!t and who has half a clue.  Ultimately you'll need to choose the advice that makes most sense (sometimes it's painful advice too) and then it's all up to you.

Good advice and I intend on taking it 

Most of all I'd say keep your feet on the ground.  Don't believe the web sites... don't pay per letter... don't trust any service providers no matter how much they want you to trust them and remember it's not a relationship until after you meet and click.

Never, EVER send money and don't treat them differently than you'd treat a girl at home just because they have a sexy accent and she has great legs...  this needs to be a relationship that lasts right?

I have no intention as I have previous said of using the internet/introduction sites or marriage agencies. I prefer to meet the women in their natural environment. That way I get to know them more.