Eliminating the Agency

[Daveman]

Yeah.  I think I will.  Thanks, Daveman.  =)  My only reason for waiting a while is because I didn't want to sound desperate... or worse, like a stalker.

Well opinions may vary, but in my experience that is very unlikely to be the case.  That's more of a western idea.  Going after her shows you are interested in *her*... "being desperate" would be something she would determine by your behavior after you kinda catch her. 

[LoneWolf]

Thanks!  I've sent the message.  Now all I can do is wait and see what happens.

[LoneWolf]

The good news is that I found a Facebook page for her.  Because I know her last name now (from the search on VK) I had enough info to find her on Facebook.

The rest is not so good.  I've sent a message to her on VK and Facebook, but I haven't heard anything back yet from those sites.  I have, however, received a message from her through the agency.  This new letter is her longest letter yet... and it contains photos that she had sent me in the previous letter!  I feel ripped off!  I have to pay for each photo!  In my previous message to her, I mentioned my vacation photos that she could see on my Facebook page.  In her letter back, she never mentions Facebook, but asks me to send the photos in my next letter.  I'm not going to send about 40 photos to her through the agency!  I would go broke!

So while I believe this girl actually exists, I am starting to believe it is not her that is sending the letters.  If she actually is sending the letters, I think the agency is sugarcoating our letters and filtering out some content.  This girl has always seemed too good to be true... so I was always a little skeptical.

I have to say that I think the agency has gone downhill.  I used it about a year ago (a bit before I first joined this site), and I think back then it was a pretty good agency... but expensive.  I talked to a Ukrainian girl for a while, but it didn't work out.  Then I talked to a girl from South America.  I confirmed her existence outside of the agency and confirmed that we knew of the content sent in the messages through the agency... but in the end, it didn't work out with her either.  Now things seem to be different.  Now my inbox is full of letters from different girls that are "supposedly" interested in me.  I have to pay to see any of these messages, and I bet that the girls didn't actually send them.  I think it's the agency trying to make extra $$$.

This is my last letter to her through the agency.  I'm not willing to keep paying for something that I believe isn't real.  I would do the phone call... but at this point, I think they would probably connect me with someone that works for the agency instead of the girl herself.  It's just a sad shame.  A lot of us are honest guys looking for an honest relationship.  It's hard enough without the agency working against us.

LW

[SANDRO43]

So while I believe this girl actually exists, I am starting to believe it is not her that is sending the letters.

Quite likely . The MOB industry may not be dead - yet - but some of them seem to be getting desperate .

[ML]

I am always mystified why we keep reading such stories.

All the man has to do is avoid all avenues that go through pay per contact sites.

Just sign up with several of the free or monthly pay sites for unlimited contact with no middle man.

All of this has been discussed dozens of times here and the relevant sites have been quoted by many folks dozens of times.

[ECOCKS]

The myth is strong and the ego is weak.

[facetrock]

  It sucks when you fall in love with a picture.

[Daveman]

I am always mystified why we keep reading such stories.

All the man has to do is avoid all avenues that go through pay per contact sites.

Just sign up with several of the free or monthly pay sites for unlimited contact with no middle man.

All of this has been discussed dozens of times here and the relevant sites have been quoted by many folks dozens of times.

Yeah, you are right of course -- but such threads usually come from the guys new to this possibility/pursuit.  LoneWolf is a bit different than the usual crowd in that he took what he needed from the thread, proved to himself what he needed to know, and did not begin making all kinds of defensive postures to place the fantasy on life support.  He seems to have his head on straight and eyes open.

This woman could very well contact him through Facebook, or vk, and if so, he may very well be speaking with the real lady though she probably will have no recollection of all their amazingly long letters at the agency. 

[LoneWolf]

Please understand that I did not "fall in love" with a picture.  The content of the messages was what was maintaining my interest... and it was causing my skepticism at the same time as it seemed a little too good to be true.  I first started using this agency a long time ago because I read good reviews about them from different sites.  Also, as I said before, I managed to get in touch with a girl from South America (face to face... not phone or email).  We confirmed everything that was said through express mail.  The translations were not 100% perfect (nor could it be, really)... some adjustments to the letters were made, but they were few.  So at that time, I would have said that the agency seemed reliable, albeit expensive.  Unfortunately, things didn't really work out with her.  Afterwards, I put my search on hold for a while.

I have decided to start my search again.  I decided to try the same agency again since it seemed reliable before.  I was not even aware that there were agencies that didn't do the "pay per message" method of contact.  Now I would say that the agency is a sham.  I get a ton of letters all the time that I believe do not come from the women themselves, but are spammed from the agency.  I don't even have a real profile there for anyone to view.  Why would I get letters from so many women without a profile?  The answer is simple... I wouldn't.  It's the agency trying to cash in on anyone desperate enough to pay the money to read the letters.  It's sad, really.

Thanks for the help and the kind words, guys.  It really means a lot.  So I have heard good things about Elena's Models.  Is that what you guys would recommend?  I have to admit that I feel a little odd using a site about "models" in my search for a significant other.  The title makes the site sound like it is all about outward appearance... and I'm not someone who is looking for a "model" appearance when looking for that special lady.

LW

[ECOCKS]

It's good that you are reflective and not giving up your search.

You can get scammed anywhere but the thing most of us are reacting to is that you violated one of the 10 Commandments. You aren't going to hell for it (well maybe if you marry her) but it's frustrating to state something as a law and then hear stories where the guy is strung along into paying for those translated letters, pictures and supervised conversations.

Most here recommend EM as having a higher percentage of "real" FSUW, although many of the sites are usable if you remember the Commandments and keep yourself grounded in reality when screening. There are guys who SUCCESSFULLY use agencies known for scamming and manipulating just as there is the occasional age gap success story out there. If you have rational expectations and keep your awareness of the situation turned up, you can find a wonderful gal. As the gals say though, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince(ss).

Best of luck.

[SFandEE]

With this specific agency the reason that has been given to me is the IMBRA release.  Perhaps you can pursue that as well directly with them.  Depending on where she lives you may have more success if she is in a city that has an AFA agency or uses a sub-contractor.  AFA claims that with the release that information can be shared.

I agree with others that not having it by now is a red flag though.

I have been invited to join VK, but have not been able to get verified since I do not currently have a FSU number.  Interested in how you were successful in getting set-up.  I understand this became the problem a little over a year ago.

[LoneWolf]

I have asked AFA about this, actually.  I asked them if we could send each other personal contact information through express mail if she has seen my criminal & marital history information.  The answer was no... because there is nothing in the express mail system to indicate who has seen the information and who is not... so they just assume nobody has and they filter all personal contact information regardless.  I found this to be a weak explanation.

As for VK, I don't remember it ever asking me for a FSU number.  Maybe it doesn't ask anymore?  I just went to www.vk.com and signed up as if I was signing up for Facebook.

LW

[SFandEE]

LW,

Sounds like we have had similar conversations with them.  Similar results, but different solution.  Perhaps that is an indication as to how genuine that site, sub-contractor, or woman is about communication.  Certainly there is no financial incentive for any MOB to convey the message and solution that if she signs IMBRA you can exchange personal contact information.

My success in getting personal information is through phone calls and personal visits. 

Perhaps AFA is getting more pressure than we knew about this insistence that can result in discouraging the exchange of personal contact information even when the consenting adults want to sign the releases and do the work to eliminate the MOB from the communication.  I have met some nice people that are associated with AFA--this is an unfortunate part of their service that can be improved.

[ECOCKS]

There's one, or sometimes two, born every minute...

[SFandEE]

There's one, or sometimes two, born every minute...

Oh jeez (I am trusting you spell the word right, since you seem to use "jeez" a lot.  Gal darn it.

Seems like the ability to contribute to a thread is a challenge for some prolific posters, more commentary, not so much content.  Perhaps a challenge that cannot be overcome without a gun.

[ECOCKS]

Oh jeez (I am trusting you spell the word right, since you seem to use "jeez" a lot.  Gal darn it.

Seems like the ability to contribute to a thread is a challenge for some prolific posters, more commentary, not so much content.  Perhaps a challenge that cannot be overcome without a gun.

Okay, go buy one if it helps you any then.

[SFandEE]

Oh jeez

[LoneWolf]

Oh jeez (I am trusting you spell the word right, since you seem to use "jeez" a lot.  Gal darn it.

Seems like the ability to contribute to a thread is a challenge for some prolific posters, more commentary, not so much content.  Perhaps a challenge that cannot be overcome without a gun.

I have to agree.  Isn't this forum supposed to be a place where we can discuss our experiences in our search?  Our failures and successes?  This is the "starting out" section... where we are going to find people who are probably going to make the most mistakes... mainly because we are new.  This is also the area where new people are going to want to see information on what they should and should not do at the beginning.  Comments like that only serve as an anti-incentive for people to post their own experiences... which I believe are relevant to this forum.  I would think it would be in the best interest of the community if such posts were encouraged instead of discouraged.

SFandEE, have you tried signing up for VK recently?  Any luck?

[Muzh]

I have to agree.  Isn't this forum supposed to be a place where we can discuss our experiences in our search?  Our failures and successes?  This is the "starting out" section... where we are going to find people who are probably going to make the most mistakes... mainly because we are new.  This is also the area where new people are going to want to see information on what they should and should not do at the beginning.  Comments like that only serve as an anti-incentive for people to post their own experiences... which I believe are relevant to this forum.  I would think it would be in the best interest of the community if such posts were encouraged instead of discouraged.

LW, unfortunately there is an expert in every corner. Try to be specific with the questions; take the necessary information; and ignore the hot air.

Eventually, you'll realize who will offer you examples that can and will apply to you and those who will give you unsolicited advise that you are better off ignoring.

[ECOCKS]

LW, unfortunately there is an expert in every corner. Try to be specific with the questions; take the necessary information; and ignore the hot air.

Eventually, you'll realize who will offer you examples that can and will apply to you and those who will give you unsolicited advise that you are better off ignoring.

EXACTLY!

[SFandEE]

I have to agree.  Isn't this forum supposed to be a place where we can discuss our experiences in our search?  Our failures and successes?  This is the "starting out" section... where we are going to find people who are probably going to make the most mistakes... mainly because we are new.  This is also the area where new people are going to want to see information on what they should and should not do at the beginning.  Comments like that only serve as an anti-incentive for people to post their own experiences... which I believe are relevant to this forum.  I would think it would be in the best interest of the community if such posts were encouraged instead of discouraged.

SFandEE, have you tried signing up for VK recently?  Any luck?

RWD has a few toxic personalities that post frequently.  Some are very much against dating FSUW (some with good reason, some because they made poor choices).  Some advocate their way to success, especially EM, as the way to success.  Since I have had some experience with this situation and have been trying to improve my experience with the business, I posted.  I think the unsolicited emails are as you stated a concern and the key as was in one of the first posts is to get away from the agency as soon as possible.  Unfortunately in this situation it sounds like it is not going to happen and that they were probably using the pictures of this woman to create an interest that never existed.

I haven't tried to get on VK for a while--I should probably try again, not using the invitation and see if it works fine.  Sounds like you were not required to verify through a code sent to your mobile phone.  I have had good experiences through AFA too and have met, dated, and had ongoing conversations with great women apart from the agency.