"I don't drink alcohol"

[Anotherkiwi]

This one could equally have gone into the "Questions for Russian Women" forum, but it's something which I'm sure nearly everyone searching will see (or has seen) at some stage.

Does my heading mean something different in the FSU?  To me it's quite clear - "I don't drink alcohol" means just that (I would point out here that I don't drink, so for me this is quite an important consideration).  On so many profiles I see this statement, yet in at least one photo the lady will be holding a glass of what is obviously wine.  The ultimate was one profile I saw yesterday where the woman stated that she didn't drink, but in her expanded information she mentioned that one of her favourite things was to curl up on a sofa at the end of the day with a glass of red wine.

I have personal experience of this as well - a woman I met in Kyiv described her drinking as "no more than twice a month," but on each of our two dates (consecutive nights) she polished off nearly a full bottle of wine.  She's a very nice person, but there is no way that I could live with somebody like that.  Maybe they were the two occasions, but somehow I doubt it! 

[Ade]

I've heard the opinion quite often (here) that a lot of FSU people only consider spirits (Vodka, Whiskey etc) to be "alcohol".

However, my wife says that in her experience this is nonsense, they know exactly what constitutes "alcohol" and that these women are just fibbing in their profiles. She does concede that if there's a question with just a yes/no answer in their profile then a light drinker would most likely answer "no" just so they would differentiate themselves from heavy or regular drinkers.

[Shadow]

I don't drink alcohol should be translated as "I am not an alcoholic".

Also note that translation and culture can create such comic effects.
When reading "do you drink alcohol" a woman could think of the (dangerous) habit to make vodka by mixing alcohol and water, and answer no, without realising it refers to drinking beverages containing alcohol.

If you are looking for someone who does not drink alchoholic beverages at all, and this is a strict requirement, be sure to mention this in you profile and early in correspondence. It will limit your options, but is not impossible.

[GoodOlBoy]

Simple answer.
From my experiences with FSUW alcohol does not include wine and beer.

GOB

PS...Sometimes the same thing happens with the "I don't smoke". 

[Ade]

PS...Sometimes the same thing with the "I don't smoke". 

You mean that it doesn't include tobacco smoking only the "strong stuff"?

[Gator]

I agree with Shadow's definition. 

It is likely that there are some RW who have had such bad experiences with an alcoholic parent or an alcoholic ex-husband, so bad that they are teetotalers.  However, I never met one.   I  met only two  RW who would not drink a cocktail or sip a cognac.   Yet, those two would drink sweet wine. 


I always pre-screened women who smoked.  One said she did not smoke yet smoked 2-4 cigarettes per day. 

[Ger]

Interesting... but remember there are very health conscious women out there also. The rest of her lifestyle should be a better guide than what she 'says'. For example yoga, health & fitness, what she eats, her attitude towards nightlife... etc.

[Lee08]

If a woman says she does not smoke or drink there's 99% chance it's B.S.
My wife says she has never known a woman in Moscow that didn't drink or smoke, and most of the time they do both.
If you're looking for a woman that does not have a sip of alcohol at all, you better look elsewhere.

[ECOCKS]

Make clear what your standards are and then see if they "get it".

I was very clear about cats and cigarette smoke. Only one gal lied about the smoking part. It is wild when they tell you they don't and seem oblivious that it's in their hair, clothing and on their fingers. I saw that a lot with the younger gals who would show up reeking of smoke and insist they were hanging out in the smoking area with their friends yet be embarrassed when you ask to smell their hands.

None ever were caught on the drinking issue, then again few made it to a date where alcohol was an option. My wife doesn't smoke at all and only went through the phases of experimenting with it when younger and was up front that she enjoys wine with a meal and a few times a year will indulge in a highball or three.

Decide what you can tolerate and hold the line on your beliefs. Compromising on this out of fear of losing her is a danger signal.

[Shadow]

I was very clear about cats and cigarette smoke.

How many lied to you about cats ?
And doyou object to cigarette smoke only or any form of smoking ?

[Nat]

I don't drink alcohol should be translated as "I am not an alcoholic".

I agree with Shadow - I think he has a point here, at least for some Russian people it'd sounds just like that.
And besides, don't forget that a lot of people do tend to lie on their profiles Like "I don't want him to think I'm an alcoholic, so I'll choose "non-drinker" - a glass of wine now and then is nothing anyway".
But it doesn't mean that there are no women who choose "I don't drink alcohol" option and mean it. It's just that if it's so important for you, you'll have to be extra attentive on that matter and may be ask some additional questions if you have any suspicions

[Gator]

I was very clear about cats and cigarette smoke.

Something else to like about you.  I can't stand the prissy, independent hairballs. 

... yet be embarrassed when you ask to smell their hands.

Just when I thought we were connecting, you disclose this.  Are you sure they were embarrassed?   You probably sent them into shock.  They are thinking, "What's next, my feet.   Here in public no less.   What does this man do in the bedroom?" 

I would wait for the kiss to tell me because kissing smokers is the same as licking ashtrays. 

[Misha]

yet be embarrassed when you ask to smell their hands

I am with Gator on this one. I would have found it extremely odd if, on a date, a woman asked me to smell my hands 

[Misha]

Does my heading mean something different in the FSU?  To me it's quite clear - "I don't drink alcohol" means just that (I would point out here that I don't drink, so for me this is quite an important consideration). 

AS SJ noted, it depends on the options available. If the only options are yes and no, most women will say no even if they drink socially.

Also, does the "I don't drink" apply to social situations? My wife drinks next to nothing, but she will partake in a glass of wine if we are visiting friends and wine is served with the meal. Would this be considered too much for you?

[Anotherkiwi]

Thanks very much for all the feedback - it certainly gives me pause to think. 

I don't drink alcohol should be translated as "I am not an alcoholic".

Also note that translation and culture can create such comic effects.
When reading "do you drink alcohol" a woman could think of the (dangerous) habit to make vodka by mixing alcohol and water, and answer no, without realising it refers to drinking beverages containing alcohol.

If you are looking for someone who does not drink alchoholic beverages at all, and this is a strict requirement, be sure to mention this in you profile and early in correspondence. It will limit your options, but is not impossible.

That was pretty much the answer I was expecting.  The main reason I don't want to have someone who drinks alcohol as a partner is that I can't stand the taste or the smell, so from that point of view it's simple - no alcohol, full stop.

AS SJ noted, it depends on the options available. If the only options are yes and no, most women will say no even if they drink socially.

Also, does the "I don't drink" apply to social situations? My wife drinks next to nothing, but she will partake in a glass of wine if we are visiting friends and wine is served with the meal. Would this be considered too much for you?

I could probably live with that if the woman otherwise ticked ALL my boxes, but she would really have to be ultra-special.  All my family and friends know that I don't drink, so there's no way that they would serve alcohol to me.  However, I don't have a problem with other people drinking if they want to.

[Chicagoguy]

I think the reason that some women might check the box "I Don't Drink Alcohol " is because they have had such bad experiences with Russian men and their drinking that they don't want to end up with an alcoholic man for themselves.

I agree with previous posts that most of the women I met who said NO drank some but not much.

My wife, however, does not drink at all. It seems her body cannot process alcohol.

I have seen some web pages where there are more choices for the profiles and have even seen some women check
" I drink often"

[Shadow]

Something else to like about you.  I can't stand the prissy, independent hairballs. 

Guess why...
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAF8gMN9c0[/youtube]

[ECOCKS]

I am with Gator on this one. I would have found it extremely odd if, on a date, a woman asked me to smell my hands 

Obviously you missed the point that I was talking about university students rather than dates. 

Jumping to conclusions is another thing that I didn't have much patience for either. 

[BC]

ECOCKS..

Somewhere I missed your reference to students also.. even did a page search and found none except in your last post..

[Misha]

Obviously you missed the point that I was talking about university students rather than dates. 

Jumping to conclusions is another thing that I didn't have much patience for either. 

Sorry Ed, but asking to smell the fingers of students would also come across as embarrassing and odd in most cases as well no matter the context 

[ECOCKS]

ECOCKS..

Somewhere I missed your reference to students also.. even did a page search and found none except in your last post..

My bad originally I wrote  "at the university" in there and went back to correct the "u" to a capital letter. Apparently I erased the phrase somehow.  Old eyes. It should have appeared as this.

I was very clear about cats and cigarette smoke. Only one gal lied about the smoking part. It is wild when they tell you they don't and seem oblivious that it's in their hair, clothing and on their fingers. I saw that a lot with the younger gals (added ...)at the University who would show up reeking of smoke and insist they were hanging out in the smoking area with their friends yet be embarrassed when you ask to smell their hands.
ide what you can tolerate and hold the line on your beliefs. Compromising on this out of fear of losing her is a danger signal.

My apologies for my too-curt, response/rebuke Misha.

[ECOCKS]

Sorry Ed, but asking to smell the fingers of students would also come across as embarrassing and odd in most cases as well no matter the context 

Whatever Misha, your limitations are your own and if you aren't comfortable so be it.

[Ranetka]

What an amazing video. Why people are not afraid of alligators? And why noone of these people try to stop the cat? He will get eaten one day

[mies]

You would rarely see russian woman on dating sites admitting that she "drinks alcohol" in the profile - because perceptionally such statement is close enough to admitting "i am an alcoholic" or "I have problems with alcohol" or "I cannot resist drinking alcohol".
Another reason for saying they do not drink alcohol - because they want to meet a man who would not be drinking. Therefore, the chances to meet such man would be higher if woman will state she doesn't drink. Whereas when she tells "I do drink alcohol" - she may attract disproportionally many men who have drinking problem.

The problem is not with women being dishonest, the problem is with overly simplified questionnaires at the dating sites. If the options are "drink alcohol" and "do not drink alcohol" - they hardly can capture the whole wide spectrum of choices.
For example, in my case - i can have a glass of wine if everyone else is having it, I can have whiskey or scotch, or absinth, on some occasions - for example when I am going out late at night, they keep me awake.
At the same time - when I drink wine, it is usually few sips per evening, maybe 1/10 of a glass, few times a month. With harder drinks - it could be few shots, but far less often. I never go out for the purpose to drink, and I never buy alcohol drinks for home consumption for myself. I can be perfectly fine if I do not drink alcohol at all - I will not suffer in any way, nor miss it, nor seek the opportunity. Finally, I never drink to the point of being drunk.

So if I answer the question "yes I drink" - that would put me in the same category with people who can habitually finish a 6-pack or more in one evening, or a bottle of wine along with dinner, or people who go to the bar every week for the only purpose to drink.
On the other hand - if I state that I do not drink, it also will not be completely true, because I can drink alcohol, in small quantities, and I do drink it occasionally.  

With smoking it is similar. I do not smoke cigarettes, and I never did. I can occasionally (1-3 times a year) go to a hookah bar, or smoke hookah at friend's place or have a cigar. Do I smoke sometimes? yes. Am I a smoker (a regular smoker)? no.

Something else to like about you.  I can't stand the prissy, independent hairballs. 

the opposite in my case. I was always very clear with all people around me that living with me will be always associated with some extra fauna and flora in the apartment/house. Now we have 2 adorable and independent "hairballs" I'm hopeful to expand that eventually to other animal varieties too.

[I/O]

Does anyone really expect anyone to say "I drink" in their bio? BTW if you're looking for a total abstainer, the FSU is the wrong place. Mrs I/O would be as close to that as it comes and even she will have a least 1 glass of wine per year.