Bad consequences of taking someone "home"?

[mies]

I am so dreading the summer time, it's gonna be so awful. And i can sure forget going to any warm place for vacation unless i wanna deal with drama the entire time we are there. He just walks around annoyed and pouting then. Very sad. I wish it was winter again I do love summer but i'm scared of what it's gonna do to our relationship. AGAIN.

Aloe, darling... there really is no problem. You just need to find a "scientific article" that says something of a sort "British scientists through a series of surveys and experiments have discovered that moderate to intense tan in both men and women leads to promiscuous behavior. Second finding was that people with intense tan on average spend 200% more money than people with no tan, and 150% more money than people with mild tan. And finally, people with intense tan are 10 times more likely to divorce their partner than people without tan."

 and then, with tears in your eyes, and trembling voice, tell your husband "so is this what this all is about? you want a promiscuous wife who spends money like there is no tomorrow?" add some оскорбленная невинность flair, then say "i can never cheat on you, but if you want me to spend more money.. well... it's going to be hard, but for you I can try.." и немного после этого похлопать ресницами, тяжело взыхая чтобы показать как сложно это будет сделать )))) and your problem should be solved :evil:

Optionally, you can tell your husband that you are mildly allergic to sun. And if you tan a lot, the allergies will become more severe.

And while on vacation - go scuba diving instead of tanning on the beach. The more time you spend under the water, the less time remains for tanning.

[viking]

Aloe

A little bit of sun is a good thing. First, it just feels good being outside and warm. Secondly, you dont need to "be in the sun" all day. That is what umbrellas are for. Just being on a beach and walking back and forth to the water will give you a nice, but small, tan. Nothing that will hurt your skin. It's those people who are out there for 5-6-7 hours a day, 7 days a week,with no SPF protection, that will have a problem. Heck, just living in a place like Florida will give you a small tan just going to work/store/gardening. My wife has fair skin but will take in the sun at the beach for maybe 2 hours, 2-3 days a week. And she uses a high SPF. She developed a very light, but glowing tan, after a few weeks. Maybe you hubby wants a tan on you so he can look at the "white spots" in the evening?  :evil:

[The Natural]

Here's what the experts say:

Sunshine,Solariums (Sunbeds), and Vitamin D. interview with Dr Michael Holick

[Aloe]

Aloe, darling... there really is no problem. You just need to find a "scientific article" that says something of a sort "British scientists through a series of surveys and experiments have discovered that moderate to intense tan in both men and women leads to promiscuous behavior. Second finding was that people with intense tan on average spend 200% more money than people with no tan, and 150% more money than people with mild tan. And finally, people with intense tan are 10 times more likely to divorce their partner than people without tan."

 and then, with tears in your eyes, and trembling voice, tell your husband "so is this what this all is about? you want a promiscuous wife who spends money like there is no tomorrow?" add some оскорбленная невинность flair, then say "i can never cheat on you, but if you want me to spend more money.. well... it's going to be hard, but for you I can try.." и немного после этого похлопать ресницами, тяжело взыхая чтобы показать как сложно это будет сделать )))) and your problem should be solved :evil:

Optionally, you can tell your husband that you are mildly allergic to sun. And if you tan a lot, the allergies will become more severe.

And while on vacation - go scuba diving instead of tanning on the beach. The more time you spend under the water, the less time remains for tanning.

It's not that easy, i already showed him multiple articles, he refuses to read them and then i told him all about what those articles say, he just wants me tanned everything else be damned. If i find an article like the one you say, he will just laugh, cuz he knows its not true. And when we go on vacation he gets pissy if we don't sit on the beach. And he gets pissy if i sit under umbrella. Last time i was even sitting with upper body under umbrella and legs in the sun, and he still was pissed. Not a single word of encouragement for the legs

[Aloe]

Aloe

A little bit of sun is a good thing. First, it just feels good being outside and warm. Secondly, you dont need to "be in the sun" all day. That is what umbrellas are for. Just being on a beach and walking back and forth to the water will give you a nice, but small, tan. Nothing that will hurt your skin. It's those people who are out there for 5-6-7 hours a day, 7 days a week,with no SPF protection, that will have a problem. Heck, just living in a place like Florida will give you a small tan just going to work/store/gardening. My wife has fair skin but will take in the sun at the beach for maybe 2 hours, 2-3 days a week. And she uses a high SPF. She developed a very light, but glowing tan, after a few weeks. Maybe you hubby wants a tan on you so he can look at the "white spots" in the evening?  :evil:

I don't find it pleasant to sit in the sun unless its below 21 C outside. If it's above and i sit in the sun in a bikini longer than 10 minutes i get too hot and start sweating like a piglet, all over the body! And that is under belgian sun. Not even mentioning Spain. It feels freakin awful, feels like someone is slow frying me on a pan!

[GQBlues]

Hey GQ! Mam sa dobre!
Slovak girl came to visit me in November, but was being "difficult" so I sent her home after one week  

That's too bad, Mikket! Oh well, you seem to be having fun anyway! You should've made her some halusky, bro!...or even buchty na pare...

I don't find it pleasant to sit in the sun unless its below 21 C outside. If it's above and i sit in the sun in a bikini longer than 10 minutes i get too hot and start sweating like a piglet, all over the body! And that is under belgian sun. Not even mentioning Spain. It feels freakin awful, feels like someone is slow frying me on a pan!

Nata feels the same as Aloe when she first arrived in LA. She tells me she hates the sun in USA (LOL) as it's different than Siberia despite my argument LA's in the same planet that revolves around the same sun as Siberia. I let it be....A little less than a year after, I convinced her to try boogie boarding with me at the beach since it was a hot summer day and the water was very warm. Reluctantly, she did. Then she caught the bug. She liked boogie boarding so much, she literally begged me to go with her every chance we get since then.

When I can't, she calls her friends and they all go. Next thing I know, all of them have their own boards. Then Mumski and Popski came over for a vacation before, and they caught the bug as well....now they're all beach bums. I wish I can post photos of all them here. I bought a canopy for them to use since they mostly spend the entire day at the beach and used to have picnics, too. Crazy...

All the while I started enjoying the perpetual summer tanned delight. Never mentioned the word 'tan', just kept telling her she looked so sexy every chance I get. The tan made her eyes so incredibly beautiful, too!

I, too, can't stand to just lay-out and do nothing at the beach. If I can't be in the water, I would at least be on rollerblades, a bike or trikke, or at least be playing volleyball or  basketball...to lay out just for the sake of sunning? Nope...

[TomT]

But if I´ve found someone, and let´s say I actually speak russian so we can communicate and I know who she is and I fall in love with her. Everyone changes with time, and that is hard to predict sure, but I fell in love with her for a reason. I don´t want her to be too different from that or atleast not evolve in a bad direction

The evolving in a bad direction goes for no matter where she is from. I´m just wondering if the chances are greater that she´ll change a lot more than she would if she were from the same western country as you are.

There is a term in psychology called convergence. To oversimplify, it means that people who care for each other, value their relationship and spend most of their time together tend to become more alike on many levels. It is a natural process, requires no effort and people may no even be aware that changes are taking place. Conversely, people who grow apart, rather than together, should be apart.

Either way, the correct outcome is achieved.

[mies]

It's not that easy, i already showed him multiple articles, he refuses to read them and then i told him all about what those articles say, he just wants me tanned everything else be damned. If i find an article like the one you say, he will just laugh, cuz he knows its not true. And when we go on vacation he gets pissy if we don't sit on the beach. And he gets pissy if i sit under umbrella. Last time i was even sitting with upper body under umbrella and legs in the sun, and he still was pissed. Not a single word of encouragement for the legs

however funny it may sound, I do actually think that if such study were performed, the findings would be probably very close to what I suggested in previous post. I can explain more in PM.

Viking, there are cases when tanning is not good.
Demanding from Aloe to tan if she doesn't want to do it, is pretty much the same as if she came to her husband and said "please, let me make small cuts on your skin, there is not going to be much bleeding, and it's completely safe".  

[Ranetka]

My hubby and i have a very big issue because of my not changing after he "brought me home". He wants me to tan, and i don't want to tan, because it irreversibly ruins your skin and makes you age prematurely. I see these middle aged tan babes running around Belgium, looking scary as hell and 10 years older than they really are, they definitely look 10 years older than the men they are with, it is an awful site of saggy rubber brown skin. I don't wanna get crappy skin like that by the time i'm 30. So anyway, i am very against tanning, but my hubby wants me to tan, and last september when we were in spain, he was making a huge drama about my unwillingness to tan, but he knew before marriage that i wouldn't tan. Although i did make a mistake telling him i will tan, and i made an effort to do it, but then i googled it some more and it just made me even stronger against tan But he really really really wants me to tan dammit, i don't know what's wrong with him. I am so dreading the summer time, it's gonna be so awful. And i can sure forget going to any warm place for vacation unless i wanna deal with drama the entire time we are there. He just walks around annoyed and pouting then. Very sad. I wish it was winter again I do love summer but i'm scared of what it's gonna do to our relationship. AGAIN.

...Just buy a tunning spray....

[FredC]

Next time that he insists that you tan, you should. Then that night when he tries to get close to you, tell him no that you are too burned from tanning. Repeat as necessary until he stops making you tan.....I bet it doesn't take too long.

[The Natural]

Next time that he insists that you tan, you should. Then that night when he tries to get close to you, tell him no that you are too burned from tanning. Repeat as necessary until he stops making you tan.....I bet it doesn't take too long.

And that would even make this on-topic. It will be Bad consequences of taking someone "home"? Yes, his sunburned Russian wife who then refuse contact 

[Aloe]

Next time that he insists that you tan, you should. Then that night when he tries to get close to you, tell him no that you are too burned from tanning. Repeat as necessary until he stops making you tan.....I bet it doesn't take too long.

Every sunburn you receive in life is accumulated (it never gets really healed altho to a naked eye it went away, but really the skin is damaged for life) and gets you that much closer to getting this http://www.livemedinfo.com/images/Skin%20Cancer.jpg
I'm not going to ruin my skin to prove a point

[Aloe]

...Just buy a tunning spray....

I did get a fake tan in a beauty shop, it was awful, not only can't you shower well, cuz it will rub off, it also rubs off on clothes and sheets and very quickly it becomes spotty and in patches. But hubby was so happy 
You really need to maintain it very often for it to look acceptable, and that's too much money. He also thinks it was too expensive.

[Ranetka]

I did get a fake tan in a beauty shop, it was awful, not only can't you shower well, cuz it will rub off, it also rubs off on clothes and sheets and very quickly it becomes spotty and in patches. But hubby was so happy 
You really need to maintain it very often for it to look acceptable, and that's too much money. He also thinks it was too expensive.

I understand.

Dove (Procter and Gamble? Dove brend name) produces a body milk with a tanning effect, it's cheap, here in the UK they sell it in a supermarket. It is easy to apply, does not leave any marks and tan is even. To use after shower like a regular body milk/lotion etc  If you are fair skinned it will give you a nice light tan.

Keep hubby happy!

[Aloe]

I understand.

Dove (Procter and Gamble? Dove brend name) produces a body milk with a tanning effect, it's cheap, here in the UK they sell it in a supermarket. It is easy to apply, does not leave any marks and tan is even. To use after shower like a regular body milk/lotion etc  If you are fair skinned it will give you a nice light tan.

Keep hubby happy!

Thanks for the tip, i'll have a look

[Chicagoguy]

Aloe,

Also try tanning lotion [ not suncreen ] by Neutrogena and/or L'Oreal. Let it dry and they should not smear. Be sure and wash you hands right away when you finish.

[Mike78]

Best would be go to a tanning salon and get sunless spray tan. However it is quite expensive and depending on your skin it might not look that good (might be orange, etc.), But I'm sure you get better results than with self tanning lotion.

[Jumper]

Aloe-
Drama over a tan? 

sorry to throw hubby under a bus, but he did pick a strange country to look for a wife in, if he likes darker skin tones? and he seems rather insistent on something pretty minor.

It's like if you insisted he shave his head regularly now ,just because you like that look on men.

 I completely understand him bringing it up, as he likes the look.
or encouraging an activity in the sun like boogie boarding or other outdoor things..
that you both could enjoy.

I'm  a beach bum all summer for the most part..but i don't just lay out for a tan, that would drive me nuts with boredom. I'm wake boarding, surfing, diving ,snorkeling,  jet ski, or other activity.
and i do like the look of a healthy tan as well..
I agree  over done looks bad,and is bad for you.

 The  level of his insistence, or enough drama ,to make you dread summer or a warm weather vacation to me is a very odd behavior.

I can't imagine some RW here , insisting her man be tan, or ruining a vacation over this..
 You really need to let him know his insistence ,and thought of the possibly conflicts over it , are causing you to dread summer.

[Aloe]

Aloe-
Drama over a tan? 

sorry to throw hubby under a bus, but he did pick a strange country to look for a wife in, if he likes darker skin tones? and he seems rather insistent on something pretty minor.

It's like if you insisted he shave his head regularly now ,just because you like that look on men.

 I completely understand him bringing it up, as he likes the look.
or encouraging an activity in the sun like boogie boarding or other outdoor things..
that you both could enjoy.

I'm  a beach bum all summer for the most part..but i don't just lay out for a tan, that would drive me nuts with boredom. I'm wake boarding, surfing, diving ,snorkeling,  jet ski, or other activity.
and i do like the look of a healthy tan as well..
I agree  over done looks bad,and is bad for you.

 The  level of his insistence, or enough drama ,to make you dread summer or a warm weather vacation to me is a very odd behavior.

I can't imagine some RW here , insisting her man be tan, or ruining a vacation over this..
 You really need to let him know his insistence ,and thought of the possibly conflicts over it , are causing you to dread summer.

Lol, coincidentally he does shave his head regularily, but not his face. Lucky he has big lips, otherwise he would never get away with a perma-stubble!! But i get your point, i shall come up with something funny to demand and persist as long as he persists with tan!  Maybe i'll demand he don't shave his head for a few months! mwahaha, how evil.
He wasn't looking for a wife, when we first met he was anti marriage even
And yes, i also do not understand it. Well actually there is drama only if i ask what's wrong. Otherwise he just walks around perma-annoyed and pouting. I'm just not gonna ask what's wrong and enjoy myself next time   

[Kunstkammer]

Correct me if I´m wrong but I get the impression that most of you here wish to find someone special. A FSU girl which is different from most western ones and then you want to take her home to good ol England or USA or France etc right?

But.. I would imagine she is who she is largely because of where she grew up, lives and those she has spent her time with. What do you think happends when you take her out of the environment that created her? Those who have experience, what did happen?

I´m simply curious and a little afraid that it will change her and turn her into a western woman.

I married my wife because I was in love with her, not because of the country she was from, she could have been from anywhere.  Oddly enough she married me because she is in love with me.  I've turned into a Russian man in a lot of ways and it is no issue for her.  Do you want a to be happy with a wife, or have a souvenir from some Slavic country?

[2tallbill]

Correct me if I´m wrong but I get the impression that most of you here wish to find someone special. A FSU girl which is different from most western ones and then you want to take her home to good ol England or USA or France etc right?

I´m simply curious and a little afraid that it will change her and turn her into a western woman.

You can take the girl out of Russia, but you can't take the Russian out of the girl.

There are so many things that she couldn't change if she wanted to and she doesn't want to.
my wife isn't going to become a feminist, start dressing like a slob, stop being direct and blunt.
Stop wanting me to be a man. She isn't going to suddenly become less stubborn. She
isn't going to forget how to cook or lose her desire to be feminine.

My wife secretly makes fun of Western women with all her FSU girl friends.

The stubborn part is sometimes even good. A lazy school teacher/administrator trembles in fear
when she is determinedly marching towards them.