Women's Day -should I?

[GoodOlBoy]

Remember him now?

Yeah......Photoguy.

GOB

[SMS60]

LOL!  Flowers are already done guys, relax!

-Salt

sheesh, Im glad this crisis is over and put to bed.

At least she knows you are a nice guy and not like every other Tom, Dick, and Harry.

You should be able to sleep better knowing she wont think you are a jerk for not sending flowers.

[Gator]

I can't speak for everyone, but Tax Write-offs is as good a guess as any...

GQ, there are many people of the world who have a charitable heart.  I am sure they take tax deductions, yet the deductions don't carry much weight to the bottom line.

[Saltheart]

You guys are hilarious!  Jaded, cynical, lifers, but funny as hell, I will grant you that.

Did I send chocolates?  I shall never tell.

I did ask however for some security to check her papers, inspect her home and make sure she really is who she says she is.

Next Women's Day, I shall send her a chocolate coated cadaver's foot and show her who's really in charge!

*poof*

-Salty

[ECOCKS]

ECOCKS - In your view, is it possible to feel an emotional attachment to someone you haven't met in person?  When people donate money to a charity (e.g., Haiti) to help people they don't know, what impulse is driving them?  They are connecting with something yes?  I guess I'm just a little unclear as to why there are certain do's/dont's when each situation is a little different depending on the variables? 

  are somehow so exceptional or incredible that the odds somehow don't apply to them. I don't waste my time with living in a fantasy world. 

I once had a relative whom I had never met,...but had spoken to and bonded with over the years and grew to love very, very much prior to meeting them.  When I did, it was like I had known them all my life and she became a huge part of my life, so I am unclear as to why that's different?  I was much younger than and not in a position to send my relative flowers at that age, but I certainly would have had I been able to.  I hadn't met her but I loved her regardless..

I'm not criticizing you by the way, just genuinely want to understand the view point and I know you have a lot of experience with this stuff.  I dunno, I think I am going to turn out to be a WOVO.  I don't see the point I guess unless I am feeling some sort of connection, and a serious one at that.  Thanks for the feedback.

-Saltheart

[Chicagoguy]

Are we going to go through this every year ?   

[I/O]

Are we going to go through this every year ?   

Probably.

[Blues Fairy]

Actually if the woman's as westernized as the OP says, it would have made sense to inquire if she cared for March 8 at all.  Many women nowadays are irked by this silly "Women's day" tradition and tend to dismiss it outright. 

[Saltheart]

I didn't know about Women's Day until she mentioned Men's Day a couple weeks back or whenever that was....she didn't actually mention women's day at all, I just sort of thought hmm, maybe I should find out if there is one and when.

[Gator]

Many women nowadays are irked by this silly "Women's day" tradition and tend to dismiss it outright. 

I asked my lady what she wanted for Woman's Day.  She answered, "Make me that delicious pineapple ice cream."   She is visiting soon.   And while she is here, there will be plenty of flowers too.  Not because it is Woman's Day, but because flowers make her smile, and I enjoy flowers.  Nothing special, just the $10 special at the food store.

[BillyB]

despite the short period of time there's been something like 50,000 words written, not to mention IM and Skype.

50,000 words? Sure? Count that again! We like accuracy around here. Although you already made your decision to send flowers my suggestion would to send flowers only if you feel your lady is talking to you in a way that she doesn't talk to the other men and you know you're her favorite or one of her favorites.

Keep communicating with other women. Build friendships with them and if it doesn't work out with this lady, you won't have to waste months trying to start over making new friends with since you'll already have them.

[Simoni]

Actually if the woman's as westernized as the OP says, it would have made sense to inquire if she cared for March 8 at all.  Many women nowadays are irked by this silly "Women's day" tradition and tend to dismiss it outright. 

Silly tradition, you say?

While you are at it, let's end Valentine's Day as well!

[Blues Fairy]

Silly tradition, you say?
While you are at it, let's end Valentine's Day as well!

I don't mind.

My husband and I have our wedding anniversary on January 25 (the third this year!) so celebrating practically the same in mere 3 weeks just doesn't make sense. 

[I/O]

wedding anniversary

There's the kicker, most of these single guys are still trying to buy themselves a lay the old fashioned way.

[tfcrew]

Actually if the woman's as westernized as the OP says, it would have made sense to inquire if she cared for March 8 at all.  Many women nowadays are irked by this silly "Women's day" tradition and tend to dismiss it outright. 

Not in Iran...

WOMEN'S DAY
Rallies Planned in Iran Despite Crackdown--
The life and body of a women is literally counted as half of a man. If I'm in a car accident with a female companion and suffered an injury, the male person would receive twice the financial compensation under Iranian law. The women also has no rights to divorce,

http://ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=54727

For the most part in the USA though, Women's Day is a magazine.

 

This March, Woman's Day's embracing their own kind of madness... for cleaning, surviving a lay-off, embracing spring fashion, redecorating, eating well and more. Flip the pretty pages of our issue—also featuring a mouth-watering leek, pea and parmesan shell pasta recipe on the cover—for our tips, tricks and creative meal suggestions.

  Mmmmm yummy...

http://www.womansday.com/In-The-Magazine

[Simoni]

I don't mind.

My husband and I have our wedding anniversary on January 25 (the third this year!) so celebrating practically the same in mere 3 weeks just doesn't make sense. 

Congrats, BF :-)

[Simoni]

Although Woman's Day is NOT an American holiday, it certainly is in many places in the world, including the FSU.

I have a number of international women that work for me.   Thus, I am giving them candy and a card Tuesday.  And since I can't single out just the women from other counties, I am buying for all the ladies!  This will set me back big time, but is worth it :-)

BTW-- I have been in Ukraine twice on March 8, and it is a magical place.  Girls are smiling and smiling as men congratulate them and give them candy and flowers. They are dressed to the hilt and are wonderful to the eye!

Buying flowers is a challenge....big greenhouse tents are set up beside the street and are full of flowers. I remember pushing through about 100 guys to get the flowers I wanted--i was the only American there.  And don't be fooled--the price of flowers there on March 8 is about the price we pay normally in the US.

But it was all worth it when I gave my girl the flowers.  She was so proud that I had navigated the city streets and managed the language barrier to get her flowers.

This Tuesday night we have a baby sitter and will go out for dinner.  I already have the gift and candy--just have to get flowers.

[Saltheart]

50,000 words? Sure? Count that again! We like accuracy around here. Although you already made your decision to send flowers my suggestion would to send flowers only if you feel your lady is talking to you in a way that she doesn't talk to the other men and you know you're her favorite or one of her favorites.

Keep communicating with other women. Build friendships with them and if it doesn't work out with this lady, you won't have to waste months trying to start over making new friends with since you'll already have them.

Is that a joke re: the words?  It actually exceeds that - although the last week or so its just skype phone and skype video...talk about twice a day for an hour at a time... (she much prefers skype video, I hate it though but I suck it up regardless) - but it's just one ongoing thread and when you throw it into a text file it's something more like 60-65k words, and that's just emails, nevermind IM chat...which is ridiculous of course, but it's allowed for some interesting things to come out..., but then again, brevity was never my strong suit... I'm sure i'm at least 40k of those words, haha.

And yeah, I hear you on that re: if she is talking to me the same.  We both decided to disable our profiles about 2 weeks ago as we've both determined this is definitely worth pursuing to a new level....now the discussions are more in terms of when to actually meet, what to do, where to go...she will be coming stateside for 2 weeks near the end of April which I am really looking forward to.  Which does beg the next question - I am loathe to roll her out to family/friends not because I wouldn't love to, but more-so because I just want dedicated time to spend with her, get to know her, etc., and not have the pressure of family crap yet.  I know this thread is diverging but would be curious how you guys handled that stuff in terms of family/friends meeting your potential interest?

-SH

[Nat]

Such a simple topic, such a long and controversial discussion
Come on, it's just flowers! It's not a ring or money to pay for driving lessons or tickets to the USA
Saltheart, if I understood you correctly, you've already bought the delivery. If so, I think you did right If you feel like it - why not indulge? As for the original question - as you're not just being polite, but perusing possible romantic relationship, I think it's better to send flowers only to your gf - she'll feel special in such a way. If you send flowers to everybody - it won't be special, it'll be just polite
And for some participants - if a man considers flowers as an investment or money loss and can't send them just because he likes a girl, I personally don't think that such a man will be successful among Russian women. It contradicts with the Russian culture, you know

[Gator]

...she will be coming stateside for 2 weeks near the end of April which I am really looking forward to. 

Splendid.  Is her trip just to meet you, or is she here on business?  Other?

Which does beg the next question - I am loathe to roll her out to family/friends not because I wouldn't love to, but more-so because I just want dedicated time to spend with her, get to know her, etc., and not have the pressure of family crap yet.  I know this thread is diverging but would be curious how you guys handled that stuff in terms of family/friends meeting your potential interest?

Loathe? Really?  "Hesitant" would be a better choice of words.

Much depends on your family's sophistication, support of you, etc.  Yet, if you discover that your high expectations for this woman are valid, you must introduce your family after a few days together.  I say such because that is what a RW would do if you visited her in her hometown.  Family is very important to most RW (e. g., your RW lives at home with her mama and younger sister).  I consider "family values" one of the endearing qualities for RW.  If you do not introduce your family, she may think you weird or you don't like her.

[Simoni]

And for some participants - if a man considers flowers as an investment or money loss and can't send them just because he likes a girl, I personally don't think that such a man will be successful among Russian women. It contradicts with the Russian culture, you know

Bingo, Nat!  You have it exactly right.   I think a guy who is by nature greedy is not going to be successful in a long term relationship.   When dating (and yes, in advance of dating), I never skimped in showing my affection and interest.

[SANDRO43]

Loathe? Really?  "Hesitant" would be a better choice of words.

Loath (adj., from Middle English loth, lath, Old English lāth).
To loathe (verb, from Middle English lothen, Old English lāthiān).

[chivo]

Such a simple topic, such a long and controversial discussion
Come on, it's just flowers!

Agree.

At this point in the relationship it really doesn't matter either way as far as sending flowers. If he wants to (and did) that's OK and if he chose not to that would have been OK too.

She wasn't going to stop talking to him, think he's greedy or any other thing that may affect the relationship negatively at this point if she doesn't get flowers on Tuesday. It's all a personal choice with no real consequences now because if for some reason the relationship goes south after they meet all the flowers in the world before or after this fact will not change a thing.

[Muzh]

...she will be coming stateside for 2 weeks near the end of April which I am really looking forward to.  Which does beg the next question - I am loathe to roll her out to family/friends not because I wouldn't love to, but more-so because I just want dedicated time to spend with her, get to know her, etc., and not have the pressure of family crap yet.  I know this thread is diverging but would be curious how you guys handled that stuff in terms of family/friends meeting your potential interest?

-SH

SH, play it by ear. You'll know when and where to do that since you are the only one here who knows your relatives and their potential reactions to such meeting. That you should spend a number of days together before any meetings with the family is a given. Anything else, IMHO, is potential for disaster.

[GQBlues]

GQ, there are many people of the world who have a charitable heart.  I am sure they take tax deductions, yet the deductions don't carry much weight to the bottom line.

I was being facetious Gator as I do know about this. Since my first employ after getting out of college, I happened to work for a company that had an active charitable baseline. They match employees contribution to any foundation/organization they donate to. 50 cents to the dollar. 4 other new emplyers since, I kept it on and now my wife partcipates in it as well. I started at 8% of my annual salary and is now at 10% (in addition to wifey's contribution). Not much but I had maintained it through all these years. The list, a couple of children foundation (yes, one Russian orphanage) and a few animal rights sanctuaries.

Of course, Big 'O' even wants to changed that now and force me to indirectly donate the monies to his cause and people instead. BS!

...And for some participants - if a man considers flowers as an investment or money loss and can't send them just because he likes a girl, I personally don't think that such a man will be successful among Russian women. It contradicts with the Russian culture, you know...

Bunk.

If a woman whom I haven't met held it against me for NOT sending flowers before meeting her, then meeting her or having further conversation with her is utterly unnecessary AFAIK. If a woman I know *expected* flowers from me in exchange for her continued interest and favor, I'll tell her to take a long hike around the rim of Balkai. I find the quote above irresponsible. It smacks agency hype. Goes along the same line of thinking that men are labeled as *greedy* simply because they don't want to lavishly throw money at women they BARELY know. Or even ones they ALREADY know. Sheesshh. If they call these men greedy, fine. Men ought to just call these women suka.

The first time I sent my wife flowers while she was still in Russia - BEFORE we even met - she asked the delivery person information and source of the service. When she found out how much the service cost, the next time we spoke she thanked me well but then VERY carefully explained how despite how much she appreciates it that I should refrain from doing this again.

The one 'celebratory holidays' we celebrate that ushers buying dead plants as a measure what she means to you (LOL) is our anniversary, V-Day and her birthdays. Even then she never expects them. According to her, V-Day for her is everyday, especially on our anniversaries...

OP. there's a HUGE difference between charities and using money in hopes of facilitating your relationship/s. I do believe you need to see the difference between the two, now, if you haven't yet already. If you don't, welcome to the BIG HURT, baby.