Women's Day -should I?

[Saltheart]

Hi there, quick question.  I've been corresponding with a lovely lady this last month.  It is proceeding quickly and so far so good.  We both seem to like each other very much and despite the short period of time there's been something like 50,000 words written, not to mention IM and Skype.

My question is regarding Women's Day.  I would like to send her flowers.  She lives at home with her mom and younger sister (mid twenties)... I was wondering if I should send some flowers to them as well?  How would that be perceived do you think?  Also, bot entirely sure what type of flowers she likes...lol...that topic hasn't come up yet.  Also, should i include like a box of sweets, etc?

Thoughts?  Thanks

[Aloe]

Where do they find these guys?? In my 3 years of talking to foreign men, not a single one ever sent me a flower or chocolates or anything else for that matter... lol. I think it would be a very sweet gesture if you did that, doesn't matter what flowers, it's the thought that counts

[Kunstkammer]

A mimosa branch would be a pretty traditional thing.

[Gator]

If you are really serious,  send her 15 red roses.  Her family will also enjoy looking at the roses and will say nice words about you (especially if no man sent them anything).  You could add chocolates for mama and sis'.

BTW, 15 red roses on Woman's Day will cost the the same as a good pair of shoes.

If you have not talked about a trip, you are not serious yet.

[viking]

It need not be roses. Any nice arrangement will work. All flowers are appreciated. Don't ask. If you go to www.roses.ru you can find a nice selection. As gator mentioned, flowers sent on that day are like Valentines day here. More expensive. You can also read up on how to send (odd numbers only) and what each type of flower represents.  Mom and sis need not be included now. But adding some sweets is a good idea. All can share.Your just starting off here, so go easy.

[viking]

Aloe. In 3 years no one ever sent you flowers? Sorry. But that really surprises me.

[GoodOlBoy]

This can become a controversial thread with several different opinions.

Personally I wouldn't send flowers to somebody I haven't met in person. Period.

On the other hand if you have money to waste, why not!

Just do yourself a favor Saltheart.

Don't fall in love with her e-mails (words), pictures, or Skype images.

Get your butt on an airplane and go meet her!

I sent flowers to my wife back in 2004 (Birthday), BUT....We had already taken 2 trips together (Greece and Thailand) and I had already spent 90 straight days in her hometown (Omsk).

After doing all of this, we both pretty much knew the good, the bad and the ugly about each other.

I don't know where you are sending the flowers to, but if it is in the central part of Russia I can recommend these folks: http://www.asap.ru/

They are straight up and honest.

I have never had a problem with them.

My wife and I sent flowers, sweets and a couple of bottles of champagnski to Mom and Dad for their 45th anniversary a couple of years ago.

They were both very happy.

Good luck.

GOB

[ML]

This can become a controversial thread with several different opinions.

Personally I wouldn't send flowers to somebody I haven't met in person. Period.

On the other hand if you have money to waste, why not!

I agree with GOB and with Aloe's experience.
Bad idea and a waste of a lot of money to get started in this flower and gift routine.
I have never sent anything and have not wanted for subsequent female companionship.

Let the romantic guys who will spend their last dime do such; and then you come along with your rock solid financial situation, be the man with follow-through always, treat them like a queen when you are with them etc.

I have been with women who received flowers from other men.  I help her pick out one of them to decorate her hair or dress . . . while she goes out on date with me.

But do send a nice email to them on the general special days, and on their own special days.  A poem is a good touch also.

Save your flower and chocolate money until AFTER you are with the woman.  And then, still do not buy such.  Rather present her with some items from Victoria's Secret.  Long after the flowers are gone (and without the pounds from the chocolate), you will both be enjoying the lingerie.

[SMS60]

What should you do?

Do nothing , but keep chatting and communicating as you have.

[Saltheart]

Thanks so much for the feedback.  Good stuff.

It's true, we haven't met yet but plan to very soon.  In fact, she will be coming stateside.  It's an unusual situation and she has unusual flexibility - in good ways..she's very "westernized" already, which has made communicating really easy.

I don't feel a huge need to send flowers or anything like that, and she certainly is not going to be expecting them...in fact, I think they would be a gigantic surprise to her.  It's a little out of character for me to do so... I would probably be giving the same advice frankly, but I'm not sure, something tells me I should...not any sense of pressure or anything like that... I'm going to do it.  Feels right.

The hilarious thing is, here's a woman I've never met and she is "healthier", or certainly appears to be, than most WW I've ever met in terms of mind, body, etc.,...It's really been a very nice experience thus far and even a bit eye opening.  I'm a realist, I promise I won't fall in love with the emails and words.  Granted, I will probably fail miserably, but I'll go down swinging!

Ok - so - Flowers.... not necessary to send to Mom and Sis... that would be a little over the top at this time I agree...  and thank you for someone reminding me not to ask, I can be a dip shit occasionally  Sweets - check.  Does 15 Roses have significance ?  The number I mean?

Thanks again.

[GoodOlBoy]

 Does 15 Roses have significance ?  The number I mean?

Any girl from Russia loves flowers. However, some girls may pay a lot of attention to the choice of flowers you make. They believe in Russia that the way you treat flowers is how you are going to treat your woman. Giving flowers should be a pleasant experience, as well as receiving them, because a bouquet of flowers brings some special charm with them, and such moments stay in memory for a long time. So, here are some “don’ts” that will help you avoid making mistakes while giving flowers to a girl from Russia.

        Don’t buy your Russian girl carnations

       Red carnations are a symbol of war. In Russia people bring these flowers to graves of their relatives who died in a war to commemorate them. On May 9 – Russian Victory Day – thousands of people place these flowers in front of the soldiers’ graves on the Red Square in Moscow. That is why giving a bunch of carnations (especially red ones) to a girl from Russia is inappropriate.

        Don’t give her a dozen of red roses (an even number)
       Actually there is nothing wrong with the roses. The problem is about the number. In Russia they always give an odd number of flowers. Giving an even number is a bad sign, because they also place only an even number of flowers on graves. So unless she knows that in foreign countries they sell and give flowers in dozens, you risk upsetting her.

        Don’t give her 13 flowers
       Even though it’s an odd number, it is an unlucky number too, and I believe not only in Russia. So, make sure that your bouquet of flowers is an odd number other than 13.

        Don’t give her yellow flowers
       Any yellow flower is a symbol of parting or deceit in Russia. According to an old custom, if a boyfriend in Russia wants to break up in a nice and peaceful way, he gives his girlfriend yellow flowers. So don’t bring your girl yellow flowers unless, of course, you have a reason for that.

        Don’t buy old flowers
       Make sure that you buy fresh flowers because in Russia they also believe that if the man who gives a bouquet of flowers doesn’t have true, sincere and kind feelings for the girl, the flowers will not last long. Look closely at the leaf structure: if the flower leaves look rumpled on the edges and lacking water, the flowers are old.

       Of course, these are all superstitions and they may seem quite silly. But they may be helpful for the man who cares about the impression he has on his girlfriend. Even if your girlfriend doesn’t believe in any superstitions, she may have friends or relatives who may drop a careless word and upset your girlfriend pointing out some details.

       However, it’s not only the choice of flowers that matters. The things your Russian girlfriend will probably pay even more attention to is how you give her the flowers and what words you say. The process of actually giving flowers should be something to think over in advance. So, keep in mind these advices, prepare a speech and good luck!

Source: http://www.aerotranslate.com/russian-girls/giving-flowers-to-a-girl-from-russia.html

[Kunstkammer]

No, 15 has no real significance.  If you want to send roses, send roses, if you want to send some other type of flower - send some other type of flower.  I mentioned the 'traditional' flower that is part of arrangements for 8 March, but there is no law as to numbers or types of flowers.  Just think, if this turns into to something wonderful the first flowers you sent might happen to take on a significance for you and her.

And don't get too caught up on 'odd numbered flowers' - yes it is a custom, but you are going to be dealing with a Russian flower shop via the internet, they are going to take care of you.  If by some odd reason she gets an even number of flowers, the world isn't going to end and she isn't going to send them back and never talk to you again.  Contrary to the belief presented on this forum and ones like it, the first thing a woman does in Russia when she receives flowers is not to count them to make sure you did proper research before giving her a gift from your heart.

[SMS60]

Salty

In your mind what does sending flowers to a person you have not met and only communicated with for less than a month show or do?

If possible could you put it into words?

[Ade]

Depending on how close you've become and how close you are to visiting I would send flowers to her but don't go overboard with very expensive choices until you've actually met her - some of the prices on roses.ru are very high so be sensible. Don't send any to her mother or sister though; it wouldn't be expected from a stranger and it may be seen as being just a little weird. If you want, add a box of chocolates with the flowers to "your girl" and tell her she can share them with her family if she wants.

Oh, and FWIW, my experiences with roses.ru are very good (for my wife's area) and the standard and large options are usually much more impressive than the photos shown. I made the mistake of ordering a large selection once and my poor wife had more flowers than would fit in the apartment comfortably!

[Saltheart]

Really appreciate the info on the flowers! 

SMS - Excellent question and it certainly puts me on the spot.

The situation is unusual to say the least, and as much as I want to discuss it, it's not appropriate for me to do so yet.  Not so much her situation as mine.  I do hope to come back and share the experience however when I am in a position to do so as I think it might have some value to others who may find themselves in something similar.

With that said, there isn't an actual need to send them to her, not in the sense of "woo'ing" her ... she is very cautious, as am I, I'd like to think neither of us are being naive and we've both been around the block a couple of times.  We've moved past the cautious stage - think it's been more like 6 weeks actually....and sort of going with it at this time.  Her English is flawless, actually, her command of the language is frightening...as are her written communications, she is one smart cookie!

Yet, there is something dramatically different about her and I think she feels the same, perhaps more than I do.  There has been a "click" that I haven't experienced since my early twenties (late thirties now) and it's certainly been a lot of fun.  How will things be in person, I don't know - we discuss that too, the fact that here we are developing feelings and yet have never met, it's kind of weird, no doubt...but it doesn't make it any less real, for the current reality.  Video Skype, while a little awkward, keeps my head in check.  She's human with all the glorious faults and imperfections that goes along with that, so I try hard not to put her up on any sort of unrealistic pedestal, not that she should be on any pedestal, period.

Why do I want to send the flowers?  Honest answer - I want to.  Why would I have sent flowers in the past.... to engender warm feelings, woo her, etc... in the past I would've done it to benefit me as sick as that sounds (just being honest here), but now I want to send them because I know it will make her day and put a huge smile on her face and that's enough for me.  I respect her, I respect the relationship thus far and I respect the process.  The money isn't an issue, hell, for the enjoyment I've received out of this the last month this is the cheapest thing I do on a daily basis.

Not sure that's the best answer but it's my answer

-Salty

[Aloe]

        Don’t give her yellow flowers
       Any yellow flower is a symbol of parting or deceit in Russia. According to an old custom, if a boyfriend in Russia wants to break up in a nice and peaceful way, he gives his girlfriend yellow flowers. So don’t bring your girl yellow flowers unless, of course, you have a reason for that.
    

Really? Never heard of such a tradition, let alone a guy giving flowers to indicate he wants to break up  

Yellow flowers as a sign of parting comes from Master and Margarita, a classical russian novel that very many are familiar with, so from the book alone i think they are a sign of parting, not because it's a tradition.

[viking]

Oh, and FWIW, my experiences with roses.ru are very good (for my wife's area) and the standard and large options are usually much more impressive than the photos shown. I made the mistake of ordering a large selection once and my poor wife had more flowers than would fit in the apartment comfortably!

Which is why I recommended them. My wife never, ever, had a bad experience with them. However, if your gal happens to be in St. Pieter, then I have someone else for you.

[Kunstkammer]

Really? Never heard of such a tradition, let alone a guy giving flowers to indicate he wants to break up  

Yellow flowers as a sign of parting comes from Master and Margarita, a classical russian novel that very many are familiar with, so from the book alone i think they are a sign of parting, not because it's a tradition.

Considering the color of most 8 March flower arrangements revolves around yellow it is pretty funny.  I should have taken a picture of the flower vendor outside the metro station when I went to meet my wife there a couple minutes ago, so many yellow flowers for sale.  Many people must stop their on the way to break up with their woman. 

[Aloe]

Considering the color of most 8 March flower arrangements revolves around yellow it is pretty funny.  I should have taken a picture of the flower vendor outside the metro station when I went to meet my wife there a couple minutes ago, so many yellow flowers for sale.  Many people must stop their on the way to break up with their woman. 

Many people don't read classics or don't get bothered 

[tfcrew]

A mimosa branch would be a pretty traditional thing.

 

That's a new one on me. As you haven't met her in person yet..a fancy ecard would be OK.
 

[GQBlues]

Why do I want to send the flowers?  Honest answer - I want to.  Why would I have sent flowers in the past.... to engender warm feelings, woo her, etc... in the past I would've done it to benefit me as sick as that sounds (just being honest here), but now I want to send them because I know it will make her day and put a huge smile on her face and that's enough for me.  I respect her, I respect the relationship thus far and I respect the process.  The money isn't an issue, hell, for the enjoyment I've received out of this the last month this is the cheapest thing I do on a daily basis.

Not sure that's the best answer but it's my answer

-Salty

That contradicts why you even asked the question in the first place. No matter. In the end you need to do what you want to do..I have a feeling your thoughts are completely isolated with thoughts of this strange, distant, pretty foreign woman wrapped up with thoughts of only you. So that makes you fall in a state of mind of falling in love. Not necessarily with her, but THE thoughts of her loving you.

If a gorgeous woman walked by you today and gave you a 'come get me' look, I'd bet you'll be thinking differently about this matter altogether...

I sent flowers to the women I was communicating with prior to meeting any of them in person, too. In looking back, that's probably the one thing I would do differently if I have to do the whole experience over again. Sending flowers prior to meeting someone in person, to find out if you'll like each other, is not something I've done in my life before. Why did I make an exception with the FSU experience? Call it foolish, rode the hype, caught in the overall board silly dynamics, etc...maybe all of the above. My regret is limited and damage insignificant so it's all good...

My only advice if you plan to send her flowers anyway, do so with proper discretion. Sending bouquets to her sis and mumski as well is a bit overboard to me. You may as well send their cousins and neighbors, too.

btw...did she sent you flowers, or at least an eCard for V-Day? It's not just for lovers, you know...

[Wayne]

If you send her blowers, arrange to have her photograph taken with the flowers and have them verify her address.

[GQBlues]

If you send her blowers, arrange to have her photograph taken with the flowers and have them verify her address.

Yeah...I think for another hundred bucks, they'll add installation of a keylogger in her computer when she's not looking. Ordinarily, they'll send two persons to her residence and while one person is taking her pictures, the other sidestep unseen and installs the gadget.

The deluxe service will include camera installation her in bedroom and the premium one includes all of the above plus installation of a micro-chip they'll embed under her skin so you'll know her whereabouts via GPS at anytime.

Chastity belts are thrown in, if you want, for free with these upgrades.

[Kunstkammer]

If you send her blowers, arrange to have her photograph taken with the flowers and have them verify her address.

Is this a post from 1996 or something?  He's talking to her and skyping with her, if it is that big of a deal wouldn't be better to ask to see the flowers on Skype?  Pretty insulting to have some one take a picture of you getting a gift when you are skyping with them.  Times have changed.  

He just wants to send a girl flowers, and everyone one is going crazy telling him he needs to go there first, or make sure she is not scamming him, yadda yadda yadda.

Dude, you want to send her flowers send her flowers, don't get too wrapped up in copy and pasted lists of formalities that have mixed levels of accuracy, remember the old saying 'its the thought that counts.'

[Kunstkammer]

Yeah...I think for another hundred bucks, they'll add installation of a keylogger in her computer when she's not looking. Ordinarily, they'll send two persons to her residence and while one person is taking her pictures, the other sidestep unseen and installs the gadget.

The deluxe service will include camera installation her in bedroom and the premium one includes all of the above plus installation of a micro-chip they'll embed under her skin so you'll know her whereabouts via GPS at anytime.

Chastity belts are thrown in, if you want, for free with these upgrades.

Астарожна, ктото может падумать что тьi это сирьезна. (typos, да)