Wife's Friends In New Country

[ccarten]

I am curious to hear from the other guys that are engaged/married, what types of friends your fianace/wife has found since coming to live with you. 

When my wife first arrived in the US, she met a few older Russian women (late 40's) while out shopping and tried to strike up a conversation with them and they were pretty nasty to her, basically telling her to be careful in the US and mind her own business.  She came home crying about it.

For about 6 months after that, she didn't want anything to do with anyone from the FSU until we went to a local party that was a bunch of AM/RW couples and she had a blast.  Now every single friend of hers outside of work is a RW and almost all of them are married to AM.

The AM/RW couples we have met will get together quite often for dinners, parties, etc. and we keep meeting other AM/RW couples also.  We have probably met about 25 to 30 other AM/RW couples in the Denver metro area now.

Clay

[Zhena]

As I heard the stories,the russian women after getting to usa becoming to be pretty agressive to each other...no idea why but I guess this is simply envy. I am sure there are many normal friendly women,but have to be careful...just read the forums of Russian women abroad! They say the negative things,mostly...

[ccarten]

[user=743]a fiancee[/user] wrote:

As I heard the stories,the russian women after getting to usa becoming to be pretty agressive to each other...no idea why but I guess this is simply envy. I am sure there are many normal friendly women,but have to be careful...just read the forums of Russian women abroad! They say the negative things,mostly...

 

My wife hasn't really run into to that, at least that I know of. 

She does know one of the wives, that her main goal in life (so it seems), is to get as much money and possesions out of her husband as possible, although from what she has told me, none of the other wive's really share her opinion.

[jb]

A Fiancee,

After my wife arrived some years ago she met quite a few of the gals already here, her reaction to them was varied, the same as if they were AW,  her opinion of them was based on personality, family background, age, education, and other things they might, or might not, have in common.  Some of the girls she made friends with, some she passed on.  Just because you come from the same country doesn't mean you are going to become fast friends with everyone from Russia.  It just isn't logical.

She did notice a certain "keeping up with the Jones" attitude, some girls were jealose because another woman's husband had a better paying job, or might live in a nicer house, or had a newer car, or was living in a better part of town.  Mostly she was snubbed because she was from Moscow and the other women were from small villages.  This became very evident when she was accepted as a professor at the local college right away while the other girls were trying to get sales clerk jobs at the mall.  I think it was just jealousy that prevented her from being accepted by some of the local RWs. 

[Zhena]

As I heard the stories,the russian women after getting to usa becoming to be pretty agressive to each other...no idea why but I guess this is simply envy. I am sure there are many normal friendly women,but have to be careful...just read the forums of Russian women abroad! They say the negative things,mostly...

 

My wife hasn't really run into to that, at least that I know of. 

She does know one of the wives, that her main goal in life (so it seems), is to get as much money and possesions out of her husband as possible, although from what she has told me, none of the other wive's really share her opinion.
[/quote]Yes,and I know many women like that...with the main goals...try to stand out of them.

[Zhena]

A Fiancee,

After my wife arrived some years ago she met quite a few of the gals already here, her reaction to them was varied, the same as if they were AW,  her opinion of them was based on personality, family background, age, education, and other things they might, or might not, have in common.  Some of the girls she made friends with, some she passed on.  Just because you come from the same country doesn't mean you are going to become fast friends with everyone from Russia.  It just isn't logical.

She did notice a certain "keeping up with the Jones" attitude, some girls were jealose because another woman's husband had a better paying job, or might live in a nicer house, or had a newer car, or was living in a better part of town.  Mostly she was snubbed because she was from Moscow and the other women were from small villages.  This became very evident when she was accepted as a professor at the local college right away while the other girls were trying to get sales clerk jobs at the mall.  I think it was just jealousy that prevented her from being accepted by some of the local RWs. 

Thats what I am saying about. It seems to me that more easy to make a friendship with AM,sometimes.

[ccarten]

As a side issue, there does seem to be some minor issues with RW and UW meeting each other in the US.  The vast majority of the couples we know, the wife is from Ukraine and when they don't seem to mingle with the wives from Russia too much.  They kind of end up in 2 seperate groups when a bunch of us get together. 

One of my wife's friends (Elizabevta) is from Moscow and she gets along with all the RW and UW just fine, but my wife's mother was here visiting at the same time Elizabevta's mother was here, and all they did was growl at each other.  But then again, maybe it was just them, who knows.

Clay

[Admin]

As a side issue, there does seem to be some minor issues with RW and UW meeting each other in the US. The vast majority of the couples we know, the wife is from Ukraine and when they don't seem to mingle with the wives from Russia too much. They kind of end up in 2 seperate groups when a bunch of us get together.Â

One of my wife's friends (Elizabevta)Âis from Moscow and she gets along with all the RW and UW just fine, but my wife's mother was here visiting at the same time Elizabevta's mother was here, and all they did was growl at each other. But then again, maybe it was just them, who knows.

Clay

Clay,

My wife's best friend in the area is an ethnic Russian gal from Latvia. Olya also is close to Irina (from Ekaterinburg), and of course, her best friend from Kremenchug who we set up with Norman and now lived here in the Denver area.

There was another girl from Kremenchug who Olya was somewhat close to in the early days, but they rarely speak now.

When Olya first arrived, she really shunned contact with anyone from the FSU. What changed that was not the meetings at Andy's place - but when Olya started providing childcare services, the vast majority of her customers come from the local community of former FSU residents. I think she now has only one child whose parents are both American.

- Dan

[ccarten]

As a side issue, there does seem to be some minor issues with RW and UW meeting each other in the US.  The vast majority of the couples we know, the wife is from Ukraine and when they don't seem to mingle with the wives from Russia too much.  They kind of end up in 2 seperate groups when a bunch of us get together. 

One of my wife's friends (Elizabevta) is from Moscow and she gets along with all the RW and UW just fine, but my wife's mother was here visiting at the same time Elizabevta's mother was here, and all they did was growl at each other.  But then again, maybe it was just them, who knows.

Clay

Clay,

My wife's best friend in the area is an ethnic Russian gal from Latvia. Olya also is close to Irina (from Ekaterinburg), and of course, her best friend from Kremenchug who we set up with Norman and now lived here in the Denver area.

There was another girl from Kremenchug who Olya was somewhat close to in the early days, but they rarely speak now.

When Olya first arrived, she really shunned contact with anyone from the FSU. What changed that was not the meetings at Andy's place - but when Olya started providing childcare services, the vast majority of her customers come from the local community of former FSU residents. I think she now has only one child whose parents are both American.

- Dan[/quote]
Hey Dan,

Tanya and I attended Andy's party also, it was our first time meeting a whole group of other AM/RW couples.  You and Olga had already left I think, we got there a little late ourselves.  If you remember Sean and Lilia from Andy's party, we see them every now and then.  I think I remember Norman, but he was still searching back then.

Most of the other couples though, we pretty much haven't seen since except on a rare occasion.  Most of the couples we know now, Tanya met the wife at a Woman's Day event up in Thornton a few years back.

Tanya and I contacted your wife about daycare for our daughter about a year or so ago, but Tanya's parents have been coming here for and providing it.  Tanya took 3 months off, then her mother was here for 3 months, now her dad is here for 6 months and her mom is coming back in a few more months.  Her mom would like to take our daughter to Ukraine for a few months, but after checking into it a little, it sounds difficult because of the different citizenships and last names.  Tanya wouldn't be able to deal without seeing our daughter for that long neither.

Andy put us as the local contact on his website for Denver since he moved and we have had about a half dozen AM/RW couples moving to Denver contact us.  Even had one RM/AM couple.

I don't know if you remember Erwin or not, but he got married a few months ago to a girl named Olga also.  They had their wedding at a nice little Russian church near DU.

Clay

[Albert]

CCarten says:  Even had one RM/AM couple.

That must be interesting!!

[ccarten]

CCarten says:  Even had one RM/AM couple.

That must be interesting!!

 

Ooops, I goofed on that one.  It was a RM/AW couple, not RM/AM.  Sorry about that.

Clay

[latstaley]

Hey Dan and CCARTEN,

I know this is a little off-topic, but I am moving from Las Vegas in about 1 year and it's looking like it's most likely going to be either Denver or Dallas. It's about 50/50 right now and I'm torn between the 2 towns for different reasons. Where do you guys meet there. If I do work in Denver, it looks like it's going to be the tech center. I have a lot of friends that live in Highlands Ranch, but I'm not sure I want to live that far out. Is there a pretty big FSU community there? Do they all tend to live in one part of town, or are they spread out pretty evenly across the front range? Also, if anyone has any similar information on the DFW area, I would also appreciate hearing from you.

[ccarten]

Hey Dan and CCARTEN,

I know this is a little off-topic, but I am moving from Las Vegas in about 1 year and it's looking like it's most likely going to be either Denver or Dallas. It's about 50/50 right now and I'm torn between the 2 towns for different reasons. Where do you guys meet there. If I do work in Denver, it looks like it's going to be the tech center. I have a lot of friends that live in Highlands Ranch, but I'm not sure I want to live that far out. Is there a pretty big FSU community there? Do they all tend to live in one part of town, or are they spread out pretty evenly across the front range? Also, if anyone has any similar information on the DFW area, I would also appreciate hearing from you.

 

Hi LATSTALEY,

My wife and I live right in the middle of the tech center.  As far as I know Dan and his wife live less than 10 minutes away themselves.   I know of one AM/RW couple that lives in Highlands Ranch (Stanley & Iryna) and another couple (Les & Olga) live a couple of blocks from us, but for the most part the couples my wife and I know are spread out all over Denver and a few of them in Colorado Springs also. 

As far as getting together for dinners/parties, we have been all over Denver, from just south of Boulder, to Brighton, to Highlands Ranch, just depends on who is hosting.  My wife and I usually host an annual event ourselves in the summer.  Had to skip last year since our daughter was on the way at that time.

Last I heard, Denver has about 60,000 or so Russians mainly in the Glendale area with quite a few in Aurora also.  The vast majority are older Russian Jews though I think that came here in the 1970's, but I could be wrong.  There are some Russian stores in the Glendale area and we have run in a few AM/RW couples there before.  Also have a couple of Russian resturants.

I had another couple from Las Vegas contact me a few months back (Scott & Fatina) that were going to move to Denver this summer, is this you by chance?

Clay

[latstaley]

No, that's not me. Like I said, I'm not even set for sure on Denver yet, and I could honestly flip a coin right now on the whole Denver vs. Dallas thing. I like both of the towns, but for different reasons. 60,000 is a pretty significant number, IMO. I think it's great that you guys have a whole network of support up there. We also have a couple of Russian restaurants here, but the Red Square restaurant in Mandalay Bay is really not much more than a tourist attraction. The real Russian restaurant is called Cafe Eliseevsky and it is completely Russian owned and operated. The food is good, but I wouldn't recommend going there unless you have some time to kill. Is this typical for Russian restaurants to take a long time?

[Admin]

No, that's not me. Like I said, I'm not even set for sure on Denver yet, and I could honestly flip a coin right now on the whole Denver vs. Dallas thing. I like both of the towns, but for different reasons. 60,000 is a pretty significant number, IMO. I think it's great that you guys have a whole network of support up there. We also have a couple of Russian restaurants here, but the Red Square restaurant in Mandalay Bay is really not much more than a tourist attraction. The real Russian restaurant is called Cafe Eliseevsky and it is completely Russian owned and operated. The food is good, but I wouldn't recommend going there unless you have some time to kill. Is this typical for Russian restaurants to take a long time?

We frequent a nearby restaurant called 'The Little Russian Cafe', owned by a Russian family. On any given night, one will find the place at least half-filled with people of Russian descent.

They have a Russian dance troup which performs there at least two nights each week - and while a little 'cheesy', it is a gret introduction to those who have never seen traditional Russian dancers before.

We have been there often enough that the owner recognizes us and depending on who may be accompanying us, often seats us in a special area when the dancers are to perform.

I don't recall it taking any longer for service than any other restaurant. In fact, when the flavored vodka starts flowing, I daresay the time just FLIES by - but maybe my sense of time is distorted  :cool:

In the Denver area there are at least several Russian restaurants - there are two traditional style Russian banyas - one of the public libraries has established a large collection of Russian books and magazines, and acts as the formal 'center' of FSU activities in the area with publication of community events and such. There is a local Russian newspaper - which is where my wife advertises her childcare business, and it is very well-read.

In terms of Dallas, send a PM to Jack. He lives in the DFW area and hosts an annual gathering of the local RW/AM community. He is probably as tapped-into that scene as anyone.

- Dan

[ccarten]

No, that's not me. Like I said, I'm not even set for sure on Denver yet, and I could honestly flip a coin right now on the whole Denver vs. Dallas thing. I like both of the towns, but for different reasons. 60,000 is a pretty significant number, IMO. I think it's great that you guys have a whole network of support up there. We also have a couple of Russian restaurants here, but the Red Square restaurant in Mandalay Bay is really not much more than a tourist attraction. The real Russian restaurant is called Cafe Eliseevsky and it is completely Russian owned and operated. The food is good, but I wouldn't recommend going there unless you have some time to kill. Is this typical for Russian restaurants to take a long time?

We frequent a nearby restaurant called 'The Little Russian Cafe', owned by a Russian family. On any given night, one will find the place at least half-filled with people of Russian descent.

They have a Russian dance troup which performs there at least two nights each week - and while a little 'cheesy', it is a gret introduction to those who have never seen traditional Russian dancers before.

We have been there often enough that the owner recognizes us and depending on who may be accompanying us, often seats us in a special area when the dancers are to perform.

I don't recall it taking any longer for service than any other restaurant. In fact, when the flavored vodka starts flowing, I daresay the time just FLIES by - but maybe my sense of time is distorted :cool:

In the Denver area there are at least several Russian restaurants - there are two traditional style Russian banyas - one of the public libraries has established a large collection of Russian books and magazines, and acts as the formal 'center' of FSU activities in the area with publication of community events and such. There is a local Russian newspaper - which is where my wife advertises her childcare business, and it is very well-read.

In terms of Dallas, send a PM to Jack. He lives in the DFW area and hosts an annual gathering of the local RW/AM community. He is probably as tapped-into that scene as anyone.

- Dan[/quote]
Dan,

The "Little Russian Cafe" you are refering to, is it the one over on Orchard & University? 

Clay

[Admin]

Dan,

The "Little Russian Cafe" you are refering to, is it the one over on Orchard & University?

Clay

Yes - that's the one.

We have heard good things about 'Festival' - but have not made it over there as yet. Westword rated Astoria as the best Russian restaurant in Denver, but we haven't made it over there either. I guess we just haven't felt too much need to explore around for better.

- Dan

[ccarten]

Yes - that's the one.

We have heard good things about 'Festival' - but have not made it over there as yet. Westword rated Astoria as the best Russian restaurant in Denver, but we haven't made it over there either. I guess we just haven't felt too much need to explore around for better.

- Dan

I went there twice, once before my wife arrived, nice place, kind of pricey though.  One of my wife's co-workers picked it for a place for her birthday party also, even though she is an AW.  My wife was the only speaking Russian at our whole table.

For New Year's the past 2 years, we went to a place in Tamarac Square, a Monglolian/Russian resturant with a bunch of other AM/RW couples.

Used to like Romonoffs downtown, but it closed.  Haven't tried any of the others.

Clay

[momo22]

[LatinSwede]

She did notice a certain "keeping up with the Jones" attitude, some girls were jealose because another woman's husband had a better paying job, or might live in a nicer house, or had a newer car, or was living in a better part of town.  Mostly she was snubbed because she was from Moscow and the other women were from small villages.  This became very evident when she was accepted as a professor at the local college right away while the other girls were trying to get sales clerk jobs at the mall.  I think it was just jealousy that prevented her from being accepted by some of the local RWs. 

Yeah, this keeping up with the jones is something I intend on whole heartedly avoiding.  I told my fiance upfront.  I don't care what the neighbors have, what they're doing, if they're kids play soccer, or what ever else.  It's our home that matters, and we'll run it our way.  IMO, most American people (not the guuy on this board) are dense and shallow.  Ofcourse I've worried about what possible backbiting other FSU women could do. Thank the good lord for dual nationality.  While those other silly fools are wasting money trying to impress each other, I'll secure my future elsewhere. For the price of a modest vehicle up here, I can get a nice house in Panama.  The Bahamasa are overrated and boring.  Let those ignorant fools waste their money their.  Meanwhile, there's a lot more room on La Playa for me and the wife.  She loves Pina Coladas.

[Captmonk1]

  My wife has made friends here in Memphis with roughly 4 other "Russian" girls with some others mixed in sometimes. Funny thing is my wife is the only one from Russia. Others are from Estonia, Azbajan ( Spell check ) Ubakistan (Spell check ) and Ukraine.

 Not to beat my own drum...but I had a lot to do with her meeting these girls. Once I had come back engaged from Russia, I made a point to "watch" for other Russian women whether it was while I was out or on the net.

 So I met two of the girls here in Memphis before my wife got here and got thier numbers and once my wife arrived...wala they all becamse friends. None of them knew each other before my wife arrived so I guess we are the starting glue.

 Based solely on my experience, I say try to get your wife to meet people and make friends ASAP. Perhaps we have been lucky but she has made some good friends.

ALSO and this may be most important...it depends on your wife and how friendly she is and how outgoing etc.

[Wayne]

We have several hundred people who recently moved to Traverse City from Ukraine because of religion freedoms here.  These are families not UW married to AM.  There are two chuch groups trying to start churches here.  Of course, these are minority churches--not Orthodox. 

I would consider trying to introduce Oksana to these people once whe arrives here--however, Oksana says she does not like Ukrainian people!  She lives in Siberia but grew up in Uzbekistan until 18 years old.  I have heard other people say that Ukrainian and Russian people do not necessarily get along together--even if thay both speak Russisn.  By the way, it seems to me that there is a large difference between Ukrainian and Russian language.  Anyone notice this?

 

[catzenmouse]

This all depends on the people involved. It's like people from the West Coast saying they don't like New Yorkers. As individuals they will sort out who the do and don't like.

There are some differences in the languages but not enough that they cannot understand each other.

Ken

[LatinSwede]

This all depends on the people involved. It's like people from the West Coast saying they don't like New Yorkers. As individuals they will sort out who the do and don't like.

There are some differences in the languages but not enough that they cannot understand each other.

Ken

 

Just make sure she stays away from New Jersey people. They're meaner than New Yorkers. 

[rose]

What I'm going to say is sad, but true. When I came to the US I was also very excited to meet Russian people. Unfortunately, my own experience shows, that it might be tricky. You guys, and your wives need to be very selective, because a lot of Russians here somehow are not as nice as we'd like. Some envy, some talk behind your back...
It might sound crazy, but I know a lot of people who share my opinion. You maybe don't understand what I'm talking about if you don't have too much experience with Russians here, but trust me, with time you'll discover all this.