Expensive gift question...

[awarerwd]

Hi all,
I often visit this great place to get knowledge about Rus/Ukr girls but now I need to ask something that is a headache for me for a long period of time...
So the story goes like this:
My Ukrainian girlfriend (5 months relationship, Italy-Ukraine, 32 days being together only...) told me to my surprise that a guy from Australia (that according to her: she met him for 2 days before I meet her and with whom she had a little affair BUT didn't have sex) sent her two months ago 600 dollars hidden in a post card so she can buy a laptop she needed...
My worry, my headache, my problem is: Why on earth someone sends such a big amount to a girl so far from him?...
BTW, I suspect he isn't a millionaire but again 600 dollars is big....

All answers are more than welcome...

[Daveman]

 

heya awareRWD... welcome to the board and a very intriguing first post/question.  The answers should be quite interesting. Kick back, relax, and have some  too.   :evil:

[awarerwd]

No replies yet...
Maybe is a bit of quiz then...
I am clueless too

 

[Aloe]

There are 2 points for me to view your question. My russian point would be: 600? That's peanuts, i spent that money on a bikini.
My euro adjusted point is 600? OMG so much money.
People in europe have a very different perception of money, they count it a lot more than people in Russia, dunno about australia. Salaries are low in Europe, so it may seem like a lot of money to a person living in Europe, but for a person living elsewhere it may not seem as much. Also for people who live with parents (like many people in Russia do), it is very little money.
Actually it's not that salaries are low in europe, it's that are taxes are extremely high. You look it up in google, it says an average belgian earns 3000 euro a month, all good and well, but you need to remember that after taxes they only have 2 thousand a month at best, and i seriously doubt even that. From everyone i know here in Belgium, only 2 people make 2k or more netto per month, everyone else makes a lot less.

[GoodOlBoy]

My Ukrainian girlfriend (5 months relationship, Italy-Ukraine, 32 days being together only...)

OK so far.

told me to my surprise that a guy from Australia (that according to her: she met him for 2 days before I meet her....

Come again??

This is almost physically impossible, unless you mean "met" on the internet?

But then you said:

......and with whom she had a little affair BUT didn't have sex)

Do you also believe in the Easter Bunny?

sent her two months ago 600 dollars hidden in a post card so she can buy a laptop she needed.....

This is while you two have been "together" for 5 months?

And of course you already knew that she had been in "contact" with this other guy for the last 5 months while being your "girlfriend".

Right?

My worry, my headache, my problem is: Why on earth someone sends such a big amount to a girl so far from him?...

You have a bigger problem to worry about.

If you are truly her "Big Love", ask yourself why she told you about this other guy AND why she asked for money/gifts from him and kept his money ($600.)?

All answers are more than welcome.....

DUMP HER BUTT!


GOB


PS.... to the forum awarerwd.


 

[awarerwd]

According to her, she met him for a 2-day period (he was in Kiev only for for some days). This happened 1 month before we physically met, which btw was also the way we met... in Kiev.

And the gift was sent while we were together...

She could keep it as a secret but she told me about it after 2 months because (according to her): a) she couldn't feel well with her conscious by hiding it b) they had a so unimportant little affair so for her he is a friend and nothing special...

Also, FYI 600 Australian dollars convert to 603 USD...
There is some recession now all over the world...
Still 603 USD is a big amount for a girl you met for 2 days and a had a little affair with no sex and then left the country for good...

So the two big questions are:
1) Why on earth someone sends such an expensive gift from Australia?..
2) Why she told me if something so bad is behind this truth?...

It just drives me crazy, all this...

[Aloe]

According to her, she met him for a 2-day period (he was in Kiev only for for some days). This happened 1 month before we physically met, which btw was also the way we met... in Kiev.

And the gift was sent while we were together...

She could keep it as a secret but she told me about it after 2 months because (according to her): a) she couldn't feel well with her conscious by hiding it b) they had a so unimportant little affair so for her he is a friend and nothing special...

Also, FYI 600 Australian dollars convert to 603 USD...
There is some recession now all over the world...
Still 603 USD is a big amount for a girl you met for 2 days and a had a little affair with no sex and then left the country for good...

So the two big questions are:
1) Why on earth someone sends such an expensive gift from Australia?..
2) Why she told me if something so bad is behind this truth?...

It just drives me crazy, all this...

If you think about it, why on earth do men pay for tickets for 2 people, hotel rooms, food and gifts just to see someone they've never met before in a third country for a weekend, and that is more expensive than 600. Because they want to, and because they can. Strange question.
We can't possibly know why she told you without knowing the context.

[Daveman]

So the two big questions are:
1) Why on earth someone sends such an expensive gift from Australia?..
2) Why she told me if something so bad is behind this truth?...

It just drives me crazy, all this...

Well, we did manage to allow
Why does it drive you crazy? Relax... there are a variety of possible reasons behind her revelation... It could be as simple as you potentially questioning her about where she got the money to buy a new computer... or perhaps she's trying to push you into reacting in a more possessive manner, boosting the relationship to a more serious level... or it could be as nefarious as attempting to get you to compete to support her...  not really enough information posted to give you more than speculation.

As to why the guy would send such a large amount? Well, large is relative, however, it does seem a little strange and likely that this boy doesn't want to be "out of the picture".  Perhaps she mentioned you and that triggered this response...  You mentioned in the first post that this has been a headache for you for a while, and you've been in a relationship for five months.. so at what point and circumstance did she tell you? This could very well be the enlightening factor...

Some rhetorical questions (of course, feel free to answer here if you wish, but more important for you to ponder) do they still communicate? Do you believe they are just friends?  If so, why does she have  a need to be friends with a man with whom she had a two day fling? How serious are the two of you about each other? Will Batman and Robin escape the Riddler's maze? ooops, wrong forum...

BUT, we did wait until one woman answered the question..    

[viking]

Hmmmm. Just some thoughts on this.

1. He is rich, money means nothing, he felt sorry for her ( after only 2 days?) and sent her a laptop because he is just a generous soul. Doubt it.
2. He fell in love with her, she asked for the computer, and he sent it thinking this is the way to keep her interested. A pretty stupid man making a very stupid mistake. Quite possible.
3. She told you because she is a very honest woman and did not want to hide anything from you. Doubt it.
4. She told you to see if you would try and match his favors because she likes nice gifts. Quite possible.

Also understand that although you spent a month together, it still was only one trip and neither of you have developed a monogamous relationship. She can do what she wants, where she wants and with whom she wants right now. I think there may be more to this than you think. A 2 day meeting, no sex, he is gone for good, but still pops for a good laptop out of the kindness of his heart. Sorry, just does not sound kosher to me.

[dbneeley]

First, you should keep in mind that Western men showing up in the FSU the first time are a very small percentage of those who contact ladies there. After that, there is no more likelihood of a relationship working out than with someone you meet locally with less trouble involved. Until someone becomes a bit more focused and serious, it is not uncommon for anyone to "keep their options open."

In this case, I would also strongly doubt the "no sex" statement as being strictly accurate. Still, she seems to be trying at once to spare your feelings and now not to be keeping secrets from you about this situation.

Apparently, this other gentleman may be somewhat better fixed financially than you are--but that is not necessarily a show-stopper. For example, my wife had been visited by a gentleman before she and I met. That man was the owner of a pharmaceutical company in California--and was far better off than I was. However, the personal chemistry between Irina and I was undeniable to both of us, and she let him know after we met that it would do no good for him to visit again. Fortunately, my wife is not particularly money-motivated.

There simply isn't enough information in what you have said to make the kind of suggestion another poster already has to "dump her"--so far, I see nothing that would indicate that should be necessary unless there is something she is not telling you. Actually, I regard her sharing about the $600 gift as a very good sign.

As for "why would she keep the money"--that seems a bit foolish, frankly. Unless there is more to it than that, it may simply have been a gift from a generous man. If that is all it was, and there were no strings attached nor explicit expectations of what she might do for the cash, it would not bother me overmuch. Now, if it was after she had told him that nothing further was possible and that she was now involved with you, that might be another thing--or, of course, if she had solicited it. Without more information, I'd say you are upset about nothing.

As with any long-distance relationship, obviously as you become closer it still is a good thing to keep your wits about you. However, it isn't necessarily worthwhile to get all hot and bothered about what very well may be a quite positive sign that your feelings are becoming more important to the lady.

David

[Gator]

So the two big questions are:
1) Why on earth someone sends such an expensive gift from Australia?..

The world is full of idiots, even in Oz.  Don't worry about them.
  

2) Why she told me if something so bad is behind this truth?...

It just drives me crazy, all this...

If there was something happening between your girlfriend and the Ozzie, she would not have told you about the money.  Calm down.   Tell her you are happy for her.  You need to determine if your girlfriend now expects you to top the gift from Oz.  If she is that type of woman, I agree with GOB to dump her.  How many times have you met? Where?  Days each meeting? Whose idea was to meet in Italy?  Did you buy her many clothing gifts while in Italy?  I ask that because Italy is a favorite place for professional daters.  

[Lily]

I agree with previous posters who told that he did sent this money because he can do it, and because he considers this a good step on his part.
Some men just like to take care about women, including provide them with cash. Some men would do it for their woman only, but some, apparently those who are better off, would just give money to friends or just to someone who, in their opinion, deserve some cash.

The bigger question, in my opinion, would be why did the girl actually shared with you this fact? Did you asked her? What was her answer?

[GoodOlBoy]

... or it could be as nefarious as attempting to get you to compete to support her...

...She told you to see if you would try and match his favors because she likes nice gifts.

You need to determine if your girlfriend now expects you to top the gift from Oz.

Bingo!!

GOB

BTW awarerwd, don't feel bad, there's probably several other fish on the hook here. :evil:

[awarerwd]

I agree with previous posters who told that he did sent this money because he can do it, and because he considers this a good step on his part.
Some men just like to take care about women, including provide them with cash. Some men would do it for their woman only, but some, apparently those who are better off, would just give money to friends or just to someone who, in their opinion, deserve some cash.

The bigger question, in my opinion, would be why did the girl actually shared with you this fact? Did you asked her? What was her answer?

I saw the laptop in a video taped with her mobile phone, she told me it's not hers but of another girl. I didn't suspect a thing. After some 30 minutes, without any reason, question, pressure or suspicion, she announced this to me. I asked her why she told me, she said "consciousness"... She is 20 years old so it holds true as I see and feel it. Also, this happened after I met her mother, which is a serious move by both of us...

And I've been 4 times in Ukraine and she has been once in Italy.. Total 32 days

[GoodOlBoy]

She is 20 years old...

I am not even going to ask.

GOB

[awarerwd]

I am not even going to ask.

GOB

Come on, don't jump please to so quick decisions...

[Gator]

I asked her why she told me, she said "consciousness"..

If she meant conscience,  that is a good sign.

She is 20 years old so it holds true as I see and feel it.

A 20-yo still has a lot to learn about relationships, how to explain something, etc.

Also, this happened after I met her mother, which is a serious move by both of us...

Yes it is.

And I've been 4 times in Ukraine and she has been once in Italy.. Total 32 days

Good.  What are your future plans?

[awarerwd]

It was "conscience"...
And I have future plans, that's why I worry about this strange gift

[GoodOlBoy]

Good.  What are your future plans?

For her to finish school maybe?  

GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

A 2 day meeting, no sex, he is gone for good, but still pops for a good laptop out of the kindness of his heart. Sorry, just does not sound kosher to me.

...I would also strongly doubt the "no sex" statement as being strictly accurate.

Maybe it is the Bill Clinton (A.K.A. Slick Willie) version of "no sex".  :noidea:

GOB

[Misha]

My Ukrainian girlfriend (5 months relationship, Italy-Ukraine, 32 days being together only...) told me to my surprise that a guy from Australia (that according to her: she met him for 2 days before I meet her and with whom she had a little affair BUT didn't have sex) sent her two months ago 600 dollars hidden in a post card so she can buy a laptop she needed...
My worry, my headache, my problem is: Why on earth someone sends such a big amount to a girl so far from him?...

Did she tell him that she met someone else? Clearly, you are serious about her (hence the words girlfriend and relationship), but is it mutual? Does she also believe that you are her boyfriend and that you have a relationship?

[SMS60]

The famous triangle game

When a woman plays 2 men against each other for attention. Dont try and win this game. The only way to be out in front is to ignore and dont react to what she is telling you.

[Faux Pas]

There is sooooo much room for pure conjecture and speculation.

How old are you awarerwd? Where are you from?
Yes, it is important to know to even begin to guess what her motivations are.

My first instinct is that she is not telling you the entire truth. She is young, immature and playing some games with you. Those signs are not good. You admitted she initially lied to you about the laptop. If she received the laptop before she met you why lie about it? If it was after she met you, 4 meetings, it would appear she as been seeing Ozzie dude and yourself at the same time. She lied and she's playing some childish games. Neither of which are positive signs of a sincere woman.

If you are younger, you might be up for these kind of games.

I was once dating an AW I really liked. We were not exclusive and that was my choice however, during this time she liked to try to make me jealous of a couple of men that she was dating. It never worked but because she continued to try, I broke it off with her just because of the "game" factor. My point here is, women will do that. I suppose some men will too but, for me, life is too short to waste any of it with such trivial chit as game playing in relationships. It's infantile and immature. Your situation reminds me of it.

[Steamer]

So the two big questions are:
1) Why on earth someone sends such an expensive gift from Australia?..
2) Why she told me if something so bad is behind this truth?...

The only reason I can think of to send money for a laptop is that he hopes she will communicate with him (and tell him how wonderful he is for doing this).

I believe she told you about this because she has some confidence in you and was being honest.

It just drives me crazy, all this...

Ease up, you're overanalyzing.

[awarerwd]

I am 33, I live in Milan.
She told me about him from the first days we met. How? The mobile phone rang and they spoke on the phone. She was very cool, I couldn't see a sign of special talk. Plain talking with man using also a cool voice (I could hear). They spoke in English, I got surprised. I asked her, she told me it was a friend she met before me, he is now back in Australia, they exchange emails and he calls her once a week over skype at her mobile...
Just a friend... But I was curious. So every time we met, I asked her if she still communicates with him and she said yes, he is only a friend for me, it's not bad to communicate with him etc. I indirectly asked her to stop communicating with him and she refused like I ask her to stop talking to a real innocent friend...
All days I were in Kiev and she was in Milan, she didn't have any strange calls...
After I met her mother and after she told me about the gift, she eventually told me that she would stop next day communicating with him. She assured me in a way that I believe she did so.
Here is my understanding so far: she either is a very bad person doing very bad things, strange behaviours, lies etc that I can't grasp or control OR she is a rather good person (nobody is perfect...) that received a strangely expensive gift from a person that aims to have some action with her next time he visits Ukraine...