The man is always wrong

[GoodOlBoy]

.....Billy B who set her dripping in those few streetside moments. S'pose he flopped his nothing-to-be-ashmed-of-whangger out and she just burned up on the spot.

 

GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

Hah! GOB. You should've laid a bet on mine. Although wifey's 27 now, *I'm* still 'hot'   

Hey GQ.
Your a smart guy and you know the inherent risks in this caper.
I still say the "younger" ones are a lot more risky.
Yeah I know, with high risk you get high rewards. :evil:


GOB

[Daveman]

Daveman-

For the sake of discussion, let's just assume the RM was Adonis in the flesh. Let him be the gawd's present to all women...she reacted to it.

He then realized at that moment someone else gets to be Adonis' in this world and obviously it ain't him...'Hello Reality, anyone home?'

So where's the problem again?

Or, let's say it's a movie star, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Sean Connery, whomever.  Of course a normal man will not toss out a relationship if a woman gets all excited and ga-ga eyed... so that alone isn't a problem -- but the guy wasn't a god, demi-god, or movie star and rarely do events occur in vacuum sealed isolation.  I'm considering the guy's reaction rather than hers.  Yeah, he could be a total hypersensitive, overreacting nutjob (and his newly formed back-up plan is questionable).  His reaction, IMO, is more indicative of coming to terms suddenly with something he already knew but refused to admit to himself. Livin' that dream. so I doubt the part of the story we read is really the whole story.  And admittedly, that falls into the realm of Daveman Speculative Story Enhancement Technology.

But... what's even more bizarre.. I gotta sneakin' suspicion that what he said to ML was alllllllll a crock in the big picture.  I doubt he'll actually end the relationship.  

[GoodOlBoy]

I gotta sneakin' suspicion that what he said to ML was alllllllll a crock in the big picture. I doubt he'll actually end the relationship. 

I agree.
Poontang fever is hard to break.
Especially when it's 20 something years old. :evil:

GOB

[Vaughn]

It sounds to me that both man and woman were settling for one another from the very beginning. As Gator so
wisely wrote early on in this thread....

 

Sometimes, perhaps more frequent than not, men and women just go through the motions with no hope for love.

A very timely dump it was: pre-wedding. If the guy plays out his hand foolishly, he'll marry her anyway, with a
profession of forgiveness. As I see it, she did nothing wrong, though now he's drawn a line in the sand. Chances
are others will "light her up" in the future - she'll momentarily forget she's walking on his eggshells, and express
excitement, perhaps even in mixed company. The whole fiasco plays out once again. I see tremendous opportunities
for issues like Control and Dysfunction to manifest themselves as survival techniques for a marriage that was never
really meant to be.

I hope the lady heeds the big red flag as well. Both can, and should - do better.   

[GQBlues]

GOB, Daveman:

LAMan said the same thing I'm saying...the nature of the MOB (not just FSU-based), where most of life's reality is temporarily put on hold, (many) men often neglect, because of the relative ease of meeting/dating these hot young(er) women, that soon enough these women they take home will be exposed to the more younger, sexier US males. Especially in such an aggressive town like LA. Heck, why do you think LA is the 'shrink' capital of the world?

A guy is either nuts for bringing 'home' a hot 20 year old in this part of the woods, or he is just one silly MF.

If our 'hero' gets all tied up in knots because he perceived his gal was 'lit-up' by this ONE dude, he'd be bound and gagged to what she (their relationship) will be subjected to everyday here.

This is a reality that I believe many dismiss when they hike up to FSU. You better be touting bigger fangs than the collective pack if you want to bring your fresh meat into the den of hungry wolves.

'Lit-up'? Don't be silly. That's for the dogs. This is the big leagues.

[LAman]

GOB, Daveman:

LAMan said the same thing I'm saying...the nature of the MOB (not just FSU-based), where most of life's reality is temporarily put on hold, (many) men often neglect, because of the relative ease of meeting/dating these hot young(er) women, that soon enough these women they take home will be exposed to the more younger, sexier US males. Especially in such an aggressive town like LA. Heck, why do you think LA is the 'shrink' capital of the world?

A guy is either nuts for bringing 'home' a hot 20 year old in this part of the woods, or he is just one silly MF.

If our 'hero' gets all tied up in knots because he perceived his gal was 'lit-up' by this ONE dude, he'd be bound and gagged to what she (their relationship) will be subjected to everyday here.

This is a reality that I believe many dismiss when they hike up to FSU. You better be touting bigger fangs than the collective pack if you want to bring your fresh meat into the den of hungry wolves.

'Lit-up'? Don't be silly. That's for the dogs. This is the big leagues.

GQ......been there done that! I had a moldovian girl(29) come here on an invitation( somehow got a tourist visa ... ???), figured we would spend some time together and I can show her all the great spots in LA( she wanted to see LV too). After a couple days on the internet.....had gobs of guys wanting to entertain her, the frickin phone ringing constantly at night.......... and since I was working, I told her to go ahead have fun with her 'russian speaking' clique. Quite a different girl from when I was in chisinau with her!!!!    Attention.....Attention......Attention

[Jumper]

Regardless whether what he saw was reality or a misguided perception.
the mid 30's something man acted immaturely  ,not the 25yo?
So i'm not sure where you guys are going with her age.
 I see a lot of stereotyping lately from men involved in MOB, and/or married to younger and attractive  women, and frankly it just seems odd.


She may, or may not , have made a mistake.
Or simply not been that into him.
or simply been relieved after a week of speaking english to finally speak in russian.

if his perception is spot on ,
then its far better he found out now ,and he should never have proposed if she dint light up at that moment !

I find it a sketchy story..possible but pretty odd as told.

He is just running back to the room for water, she EXPECTS him back at any moment !
yet  takes the time to *light up*  with a RM that approached her in a roughly 3 or 4 minute window  of time . . when she knows her fiancee should be stepping around the corner any minute.
Yet she continues to chat,,, and "light up" even knowing he is due, all while he is within eye sight watching?
Since she then "runs" over to her fiance when she sees him and that he is distanced and appears distraught.

Did we see this  on some  teen sitcom?
Sounds like 90210, or Hannah Montana 

If he went for a 30 minute swim or workout, and came back early it would make more sense..
but i digress !

Ultimately either way , it IS  absolutely his fault for going back to get water !!


because ..





drum roll.....












he should have sent her!!!!
  :evil:



She's got younger legs  to hike those resort stairs,
what on earth was  the  guy thinking?

 


now where is that sarcasm font ?

[chivo]

My first thought was the language angle GOB initially mentioned. I've seen it many times here. I remember when Me and G/F were headed to Prague a few years ago and she talked to the driver I hired the whole way to the airport like I wasn't even in the car. I had never seen her like that and at first I was a little taken aback.

Didn't think much of it afterward and never really questioned the situation as nothing more than her being able to use her language (and hear it) in a way she couldn't with me at the time. She was laughing, sitting up on the edge of the backseat, talking a mile a minute and "preening". She's very good with her language but like me, can't use it in a way that best brings out her personality with foreigners.

I have to admit when I hear English now anywhere in Moscow I gravitate to it for a chance to use my language like I can't here because most if not all wouldn't understand me. When I speak English to Russians here it's just not the same.

Ed has touched upon this when he talks about how the woman's attitude changes drastically when he goes from English to Russian with the girls he talks to as opposed to speaking English and I have noticed it now more because of my better Russian language skills. Not all, but many absolutely "lite up" when I start speaking Russian and the ones that don't usually tell me later that they were pleasantly surprised with a certain "LOOK" in their eyes.

Try being around someone and speaking their language all the time, it can be exhausting trust me. I can't go much over 45 minutes before my head wants to explode and I have been with many RW who speak English well but much perfer their own language of course, because it makes them relax and show their true personality.

Yes the guy is insecure. And she is certainly no whore . My guess is the girl was just being a flirt and using her language for a change (FSUW might be the worst flirts BTW) and he turned into a drama queen. I mean 3 whole months of sporadic face time and she wasn't totally in love? She may have consciously or subconsciously been trying to get a reaction from him in the first place, who knows, she's a woman after all and he read it the wrong way and overreacted, unfortunately not in the right way for the situation.

And this is my other angle.

You have to at times go totally alpha with these girls/women unlike you would with AM for instance (actually it wouldn't hurt doing with AW although you might end up in jail ). If he didn't like the situation he should have stepped up and handled it quickly and firmly, even aggressively if need be, but he choose to put his tail between his legs. It was a good opportunity to demonstrate his manliness to her and he folded. Especially at this stage of the relationship.

The mentality here is one of being told what to do, not asked. They might be years out of the old Soviet time, but the mentality in this regard hasn't changed. They don't coddle people here like they do in America. There's no politically correct BS. You hear it in their language and you see it in their actions. This IS what they're used to. When I went from asking for things to telling and at times demanding, I was surprised by the response because 99% of it was positive.

If he would have taken the bull by the horns instead of crying about it to another man my money would have been on him as the one she would be "lit up" about. It certainly would have taken the relationship up a notch at the very least.

[ML]

Thanks to you Gator for laying out the 'lit up'  situation.  Of course everyone who claimed otherwise earlier really knew all along what it meant.  But with your prestige here; it finally shut down that silly sub-thread.

Many other continued to make more and more of a fool of themselves by continuing to deny that they would have acted EXACTLY as the man did.

Daveman's comments stood out by capturing the essence in a pretty concise manner:  "The guy saw her "reaction" to this other man.  It kicked his soul to the dirt.  That's beyond the realm of jealousy. That's realization.  Certainly he could have "realized" something erroneously... I just don't think so.

And again I will repeat what many keep trying to ignore by giving such examples as "she was probably elated to be able to talk in her own language"

It doesn't matter WHAT was the reason or cause for her to light up!!!!!!!!!

It was simply that she did so to a degree far above that ever displayed toward him.

Each of you who deny that you would have felt exactly the same as this man did after that simple scenario are absolute total liars.

And, of course, I am fully aware of the frequent tendency here to fall back on the old standard "this poster, ML in this case, is actually describing himself" when you want to discredit a person.

Well I can tell you that I actually did get fairly sick to my stomach when this man described it to me.  I really felt for the guy.

As for me and my gal . . . we are having a great time and it is she who keeps being a little worried when I smile at other women.  I am not flirting, it is just my fake AM smile that I cannot stop.  But I have tried to hold back, whenever I can  remember, as I really don't want to cause her any uncomfortableness.

But interestingly, my gal frequently points out to me when some other woman is not wearing a bra or seems to be wearing no panties, etc.  Strange that she does this when she is otherwise a bit jealous.

[Aloe]

But interestingly, my gal frequently points out to me when some other woman is not wearing a bra or seems to be wearing no panties, etc.  Strange that she does this when she is otherwise a bit jealous.

Surely, i hope you don't stare at them and say "indeed, she isn't wearing any". You are supposed to say (without looking) "Maybe, i don't care, i only care about you"  
What are you doing eyeing other women in the first place?
For a woman, when you are with a man and there are scantily clad women around and he doesn't even notice them and doesn't look and gives you a 100% of his attention, it's a fantastic feeling, especially for a slightly jealous woman. That will give you a 1000000 points in her eyes.
Too bad after a year of marriage they go back to eyeing other women and watching porn 

[Gator]

For a woman, when you are with a man and there are scantily clad women around and he doesn't even notice them and doesn't look and gives you a 100% of his attention, ....

If you are with the woman of your dreams, you don't notice other women, and for sure you do not flirt with them.  It is natural,  not forced abstinence.   That was always a subconscious clue to myself about the woman at my side.

....it's a fantastic feeling, especially for a slightly jealous woman. 

That is how I feel when it is my woman who ignores men smiling at her.  Aloe, do you agree that the equitable counterpart is for the woman to ignore other men?

Too bad after a year of marriage they go back to eyeing other women and watching porn 

What if one day it is the woman who wants you to watch a little porn with her?   I guess she needs some fantasy material. 

[Daveman]

GOB, Daveman:

LAMan said the same thing I'm saying...the nature of the MOB (not just FSU-based), where most of life's reality is temporarily put on hold, (many) men often neglect, because of the relative ease of meeting/dating these hot young(er) women, that soon enough these women they take home will be exposed to the more younger, sexier US males. Especially in such an aggressive town like LA. Heck, why do you think LA is the 'shrink' capital of the world?

A guy is either nuts for bringing 'home' a hot 20 year old in this part of the woods, or he is just one silly MF.

If our 'hero' gets all tied up in knots because he perceived his gal was 'lit-up' by this ONE dude, he'd be bound and gagged to what she (their relationship) will be subjected to everyday here.

This is a reality that I believe many dismiss when they hike up to FSU. You better be touting bigger fangs than the collective pack if you want to bring your fresh meat into the den of hungry wolves.

'Lit-up'? Don't be silly. That's for the dogs. This is the big leagues.

Perhaps the guy realized that his current set of fangs isn't quite captivating enough for this woman? I'm not writing about "panties in a wad" types of behavior.  The point I am trying to make is about "gut instinct/reaction".  Usually, that comes first followed by the processing of it which can include those rationalizations so often brought up around here.  Gut instinct is almost always spot on. It's the ensuing internal processing that tends to lead one astray when one rationalizes away what one neither wishes to face nor wants believe. My take on this is that if he followed the logic stated along this thread, he would indeed be rationalizing away the very internal guiding force he needs for manifesting his dream/goal/whatever - i.e.,  his gut instinct is telling him point blank "The current situation as it stands will ultimately fail".  He can then decide to change his "fangs", or change the woman.

I don't disagree with certain aspects of the "Alpha" comments, and there is more than a little truth to what Chivo (and you) stated above. 

[vwrw]

I noticed that when walking with a proper RW, she will not give attention to other men, will not even acknowledge their prescence.  My Cossack woman upon receiving a flirtacious smile from a stranger will cut off eye contact, stick her nose in the air and give a facial expression that says she is a celebrity and he is nothing more than an annoying, little fan.  His smile disappears and the word сука appears on his lips.
 

If you observed this behavior in public places where your woman was in motion ( for example, walking on a street  ), then this behavior does NOT say anything about the woman’s propriety nor does it mean that she feels  her heart is occupied.  About a half of my female friends (including me) would behave the same way, even if  they were interested in getting acquainted with a man.  Complaint from the single ladies with content like “a nice man was trying to attract my attention while I was going to a “bus -stop –place”, but I, as usually, pretended that I had no any tiniest interest in his attention. When will I have lost this idiotic habit?” was a common topic for discussion.  I even remember we read a book which explained how to get rid of the unreasonable reaction.

From my personal experience, when a woman is in relationship with a man whom she adores and admires, she stops showing any reaction at flirtatious smile from a stranger. She would not stick her nose in the air or change her facial expression. She would behave exactly the same way as if the flirtatious smile had never got in her attention's realm. In other words, there will be complete physical indifference to the stimulus.

[vwrw]

Gator, if I remember correctly your woman is ex-modal, ask her if she is aware of the reason why modals demonstrating clothes of famous designers are required not to keep eye contact with the audience, stick thier noses in the air, and in general, have a facial expression that says the modals are celebrities and the audience is nothing more than an annoying crowd.  I assure you the customary look of modals demonstrating clothes is NOT intended to drive the public away. 

[Faux Pas]

Thanks to you Gator for laying out the 'lit up'  situation.  Of course everyone who claimed otherwise earlier really knew all along what it meant.  But with your prestige here; it finally shut down that silly sub-thread.

Many other continued to make more and more of a fool of themselves by continuing to deny that they would have acted EXACTLY as the man did.

Daveman's comments stood out by capturing the essence in a pretty concise manner:  "The guy saw her "reaction" to this other man.  It kicked his soul to the dirt.  That's beyond the realm of jealousy. That's realization.  Certainly he could have "realized" something erroneously... I just don't think so.

I have the utmost respect for Gator and Dave. Their opinions, experience are always cause for caution but certainly not the end all. The "lit up" aspect has not diminished overall nor has their opinions changed my opinion. "Lit up" is only one perception from one uninformed set of eyes. And it appears to be one immature juvenile set of eyes at that.

And again I will repeat what many keep trying to ignore by giving such examples as "she was probably elated to be able to talk in her own language"

It doesn't matter WHAT was the reason or cause for her to light up!!!!!!!!!
It was simply that she did so to a degree far above that ever displayed toward him.

Of course it matters. Depending on the woman there are an infinite number of things to cause a woman (or man) to light up.

Each of you who deny that you would have felt exactly the same as this man did after that simple scenario are absolute total liars.

And, of course, I am fully aware of the frequent tendency here to fall back on the old standard "this poster, ML in this case, is actually describing himself" when you want to discredit a person.

Well I can tell you that I actually did get fairly sick to my stomach when this man described it to me.  I really felt for the guy.

You couldn't possibly know who has felt what or why in their lifetimes. Why persist in this vein? You seem to be feeling way to much for "the guy". Why not quit posting in the "third" person and admit this guy is you?

As for me and my gal . . . we are having a great time and it is she who keeps being a little worried when I smile at other women.  I am not flirting, it is just my fake AM smile that I cannot stop.  But I have tried to hold back, whenever I can  remember, as I really don't want to cause her any uncomfortableness.

But interestingly, my gal frequently points out to me when some other woman is not wearing a bra or seems to be wearing no panties, etc.  Strange that she does this when she is otherwise a bit jealous.

So when you look and flirt she keeps being a little worried but, when she does it, you want to blow up, call the whole thing off?
 

[Muzh]

There are certainly a large number of people here who are complete idiots or bald faced liars, or both.

I have very clearly stated the situation.  Yes, you are right, as related to me, I didn't see it.
But I was closer to the situation than anyone else here who is second guessing and coming up with wild 'facts' and interpretations.

And to read that anyone here (who has lived in USA for more than let's say 3-5 years, doesn't know what 'lit up' means is beyond absurd.

I will give one more example here so that some can continue to make a fool of themselves.

Assume each of you (man or woman) has gone to visit your 'other' in their country 3 times and stayed exclusively with them for a few months.

Everything seemed fine.  There were good times, good smiles, good meetings with relatives, a marriage proposal and acceptance.

Now, you see your 'other' talking to a total stranger of the opposite sex.  (You can't bring in here BS about this might be her brother, etc.  You know no such; and in this case it was a complete stranger.)

Now, you approach from a side view where you can very clearly see your 'other's face' and you see it is lit up (and don't bother saying you don't know what this means) in a way and to a degree that you have never, ever, ever, ever seen displayed toward you.

It doesn't matter if this is an old school mate, a long lost relative, a person who just told a funny joke or any other silly reason you can throw out here.  Your other is displaying an emotion toward a person of the opposite sex that he/she has never, ever, ever, ever shown toward the person he/she is about to marry.

This would stop each and every one of you dead cold in your tracks and make you close to the vomit stage.  Go ahead and make a fool of yourself by denying.

None of you would boldly move forward to introduce youself, etc.  You are close to vomit and realize that all your dreams are out the window and that your other has never, ever, ever,  felt the strong emotion toward you that you now see for the first time that he/she is capable of.   Yes, you have enjoyed the company and had great times, but now you see that there could have been much more if he/she had felt toward you as he/she is really capable of feeling.

There is no spying at all.  You are stopped dead cold and cannot move forward.  You can only watch this and get sicker and sicker in your stomach.

It doesn't matter if you are a wimp, playing out of your league or any other such nonsense anyone wants to throw at you.

Each and every one of you (man or woman) would have reacted the same as this man.  I am not talking about what you might have done later; I am referring to the instant case.

Sorry to burst your bubble. IF my other would "light up" while talking to another guy I would NOT go into a fetal position and start sucking my thumb. All you have to do is ask for an explanation. If I'm not satisfied I will say so and then take it from there.

Just beacuse everyone didn't agree with you doesn't mean they are idiots. They are just different and would do things differently. It's called 'Free Will."

[GQBlues]

I have the utmost respect for Gator and Dave. Their opinions, experience are always cause for caution but certainly not the end all. The "lit up" aspect has not diminished overall nor has their opinions changed my opinion. "Lit up" is only one perception from one uninformed set of eyes. And it appears to be one immature juvenile set of eyes at that.

I fully agree with this. 'Lit-Up' in of itself, especially in this specific sample story is not enough to demonize the woman, that's why I was asking what else is being left out of the phrase 'lit-up like a christmas tree'. LOL. Is this a WWII lingo?

'her blood rushing up to her head' seem such a silly thing to be overly-dramatic about. If that bothers you, tell the woman and be done with it. Stop acting like a phocking child.

A woman was having 'fun' speaking to someone who speaks the same language she does - in a foreign country - does not deserve any of the treatment she got from this idiot. Period. This is a good example of how different RMs are from AMs.

[SMS60]

From my personal experience, when a woman is in relationship with a man whom she adores and admires, she stops showing any reaction at flirtatious smile from a stranger. She would not stick her nose in the air or change her facial expression. She would behave exactly the same way as if the flirtatious smile had never got in her attention's realm. In other words, there will be complete physical indifference to the stimulus.

Hope men who are looking or dating reads this and understands what VWRW is saying.

I always say dont pursue a woman who is not interested in you. You have enablers who push men to try and create attraction or interest. If its not there you cant create it. Buying boat loads of flowers and gifts mixed in with trips and acting like the nicest guy in the world will not do it. It may appear you have won her heart until you can see things crystal clear as the guy experienced in Turkey.

And as we can see in this thread the 3 trips and other actions did not create enough attraction in the woman to give her undivided attention to the guy. What he experienced was fake and not genuine.

[Muzh]

ML, with all due respect...

Daveman's comments stood out by capturing the essence in a pretty concise manner:  "The guy saw her "reaction" to this other man.  It kicked his soul to the dirt.  That's beyond the realm of jealousy. That's realization.  Certainly he could have "realized" something erroneously... I just don't think so.

This guy came to the realization that he is a weenie.

And again I will repeat what many keep trying to ignore by giving such examples as "she was probably elated to be able to talk in her own language"

It doesn't matter WHAT was the reason or cause for her to light up!!!!!!!!!

It was simply that she did so to a degree far above that ever displayed toward him.

This is called immaturity and therefore, insecurity. I know. When I was young and in college I would date some serious babes. Whenever I would see the "Lighting up" with some guy I would go:"Next" Sometimes friends of the girl dumped would berate me that I broke her heart and all this time I thought she was eyeing some guy. Live and learn.

Each of you who deny that you would have felt exactly the same as this man did after that simple scenario are absolute total liars.

POP! goes the balloon.

And, of course, I am fully aware of the frequent tendency here to fall back on the old standard "this poster, ML in this case, is actually describing himself" when you want to discredit a person.

Nah, I knew it was not you and was ready to say so.

Well I can tell you that I actually did get fairly sick to my stomach when this man described it to me.  I really felt for the guy.

I guess you are kind of sympathetic guy. Better be careful with those terms such as sympathy, empathy, etc. You may be accused of being an Alan Alda-type.

As for me and my gal . . . we are having a great time and it is she who keeps being a little worried when I smile at other women.  I am not flirting, it is just my fake AM smile that I cannot stop.  But I have tried to hold back, whenever I can  remember, as I really don't want to cause her any uncomfortableness.

Great, that's what you should be doing; not sympathizing with a weenie.

But interestingly, my gal frequently points out to me when some other woman is not wearing a bra or seems to be wearing no panties, etc.  Strange that she does this when she is otherwise a bit jealous.

Been there. See vwrw's response.

[Daveman]

Hope men who are looking or dating reads this and understands what VWRW is saying.

I always say dont pursue a woman who is not interested in you. You have enablers who push men to try and create attraction or interest. If its not there you cant create it. Buying boat loads of flowers and gifts mixed in with trips and acting like the nicest guy in the world will not do it. It may appear you have won her heart until you can see things crystal clear as the guy experienced in Turkey.

And as we can see in this thread the 3 trips and other actions did not create enough attraction in the woman to give her undivided attention to the guy. What he experienced was fake and not genuine.

Yep. I wouldn't go quite so far as to say "fake" but maybe "shallow".

It's interesting to read the various reactions concerning a woman not "lighting up", mind you, but rather "lighting up" with another man like she never has with him.. guys should read vwrw's post again...

But, then there's a reason it has been said time and time again... "Men tend to be clueless, right until the point where she walks out that door... then everything was crystal clear all along"

[Jumper]

ML said:

Many other continued to make more and more of a fool of themselves by continuing to deny that they would have acted EXACTLY as the man did.

acted? or felt?

 You have no idea exactly how someone else will react.
Why act like you do?
why is so important to you to assure yourself that all people would react the same?

if someone pushes another  man today on the street right  in front of you,.
you will have absolutely no  idea if the man will fight , shout, or walk away.
if its a business man, a construction worker ,or a wino being pushed , the reactions will likely be a bit different.
The fact is you'd have a "preset idea" of how they would be your assumptions of who theywere..
the wino you'd expect to mutter and shuffle along..
you wouldn't know for sure  what he would do , but your expectation would be from his dress and demeanor. you yourself would most likely predict another persons reaction simply by how they appear at that moment it time, but want to debate here there could be only one action.

So lets put an aggressive 25 yo steel worker, and a passive 38 yo entomologists in your scenario.
 Both are exactly the same reaction right?


Your assumptions of how every single person on the earth would react in any given situation is astounding..  

If any number of men here  saw what he saw , and believed exactly what he believed, (that the 3 month  relationship was over)
Many would not react exactly as he did.
In fact there are several options.
 Personally my own  most likely action would have been  to walk up and join the conversation in a
cordial way ,but one that left both no doubt why i had done so, in either of their minds.
Their reaction after, would determine my own.
but there are other reactions i might be capable of as well ,  both better or worse..

 So keep pontificating on what all others would do, or that they would behave exactly like this stranger you met in Turkey ,if it makes your world seem more stable and confined in a nice little box of cookie cutter behaviors .
 It  just amazes me you  think every human will react the same, or that they are fools and liars if they don't agree with your entrenched point of view.

most ,including myself, in a snap emotionally charged situation like that,
 would not have the *exact*  same reaction to that scenario, even during the course of our own lives.
lets say at age 20, at 30 , or at 50.. etc.

Yet you continue to debate  that all men ,no matter age , character, past experience, or personality ,, must  react the  exact way this man did a this point in time ..
A very strange and oddly defensive stance to take.

There could be no variance in behavior?
In the realm of human possibilities in highly emotional situations -
 Some men might go back to the room and jump off the balcony in complete despair!!!
 others might foolishly walk up and sucker punch the guy ,
there are a LOT of areas in between.
To not recognize that is foolish.

He certainly wouldn't be the first man to have a g/f that was not into him and
actively flirting with another man,and tell you this tale from his perspective.


He also wouldn't be the first man to be controlling or jealous and fabricate a story out of thin air ,
or from the slightest interaction he witnessed,and tell you this tale from his perspective..
 he could be a  drama queen , or a completely rational man  that felt screwed over.

In either case various individuals  could have different reactions.

[tim 360]

+1  AJ.  I don't personally know many guys who would have behaved just like ML's friend did.  Plus all this "lit up" stuff--I guess ya really had to be there to see her "light up like a Christmas tree."  Sounds like some 50's expression.  

All this is is some guy tells another guy (ML)a story and ML identifies with the guy and posts it on here.  Who knows?  Not one person in this whole thread was there to even see a thing that happened between the girl and the RW while her fiance was taking a dump.  LOL. 

[GQBlues]

....Gut instinct is almost always spot on. It's the ensuing internal processing that tends to lead one astray when one rationalizes away what one neither wishes to face nor wants believe. My take on this is that if he followed the logic stated along this thread, he would indeed be rationalizing away the very internal guiding force he needs for manifesting his dream/goal/whatever - i.e.,  his gut instinct is telling him point blank "The current situation as it stands will ultimately fail".  He can then decide to change his "fangs", or change the woman...

Forget about the conjectures, Daveman, because the bottom line is we can't even seem to agree the full scope or impact of what the phrase 'lit-up' is, let alone trying to envision what (Mars) the subject dude, actually saw in that moment. He can't even fully define 'lit-up' himself despite being asked multiple times, and dispenses it simply by saying 'we know what he's talking about and are just denying it' silly response.

That is a sign of someone BSing for the sole purpose of getting the audience to just take his word verbatim and earn judgment in his favor.

Even if there was truth in what happened - all the woman is guilty of is having 'sexual thoughts' or feelings of infatuation to, at best and worst, with another man who she found to be attractive in the span of less than 7 minutes! And all that stopped once he re-appeared.

Trust me, the OP better turn 'frigid' if that thought bothers him because I guarantee you it happens to every single man & woman regardless of how much in love they are to their respective men/women sooner or later and every time in between.

Bottom line is,

1) they are involved in a relationship. They're in Turkey to act like rabbits and practice gawd's bidding. If he cannot act/expect/demand what he's entitled to in any relationship, in this instance voice his displeasure in what he perceived he saw, that's his fault.

2) If he (Mars), in his mind, never saw the kind of reaction from this woman ( I will assume all women because the fact we know is, he's committed himself in a relationship with this woman - likely any women in the past- void of any personal 'lit-up' moments), then he's really got some serious problems and it ain't the wimmen.

3) If his gut instinct tells him something is wrong, then hell yeah, something is wrong. Too bad however, the woman had to take the fall for his insecurities, immaturity and social ineptness.

[Wayne]

I agree with what AJ wrote up-thread. You cannot say that everyone would have reacted the same way. Some men may have become very angry and start a fight with the RM. Some may had gotten angry with the UW.

It think very few men would have done what this guy did!

If it was me, never in a million years, would I have done what he did!