If You See This Picture on a Marriage Site, Click NEXT Immediately!

[Al_C]

Let's face it. You'll be a single man from now on.

I hope I don't sound offensive, but this post is about as useful as a screen door in a submarine.

[TomT]

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10114.0

That puts things into perspective.

Moderator: Please consider deleting Elena's name and photo; there is no obvious scam here.

[Yuri-the-fat]

This is my second I-129f filing, so under IMBRA, I am done.  

Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence. Women don't dump men for no reason. You don't have to tell about your little skeletons on the forum, but you need to make a thorough self-analysis about what you're doing so wrong.

[Muzh]

Hey Gator, I don't even have to tell you that if GOB can remember "little mistakes" like that one, this poor RW probably has a whole treasure trove of bad memories from being involved with AL_C and his "family".

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10114.0  (Thread Locked)

To any newbies reading this, Russian Women NEVER forget, NEVER!


GOB

Oh MY! What a soap. Thanks for the background. Something here was not Kosher.

[Faux Pas]

Perhaps people are being a little harsh with Al and it's understandable that he's a bit upset.

FWIW, if I were interested in this woman, I for one would want to know that she's had "cold feet" after two fiancée visa applications to two different men... It certainly seems a little odd that she would have these relationship epiphanies only after it comes down to the wire...

Oh and I believe that we're all, every single one of us, capable of being fooled by some people. If any man had done this, he would undoubtedly be posted on anti-date.

SJ perhaps my posts have come off as harsh or unsympathetic but it is not intentional. I can feel for the guy. There's much emotional investment  in 2.5 years but a woman changing her mind is not an uncommon occurrence and doesn't necessarily make her spoiled goods or evil. The fees he paid to file the visa seem to have a more stinging effect for him. Maybe because it is so fresh and I will give him the benefit of that doubt.

I never said it was a scam.  In fact, I said explicitly that it was not a scam.  But it was a lie and was a fraud.

Hopefully they will have enough sense to not let their fine system be soiled with this total fraud and pathological liar

Thats about as close to an accusation of a scam without being a actually called a scam I suppose.

I did NOTHING bad to her beyond that one single mistake two years ago at the airport, which never came up at any time after the day I made that mistake.  In fact, when she started to turn on me, I did everything to try to save it.  I sent her flowers.  I sent her chocolates.  I sent her a stuffed teddy bear.  I e-mailed her love songs.  I sent her e-cards.  I sent her the nicest and kindest letters even though my blood was boiling.

But none of it did any good.  She already decided that I am some sort of demon when the only demon she ever saw was when she looked in the mirror.

I told her all about the first K-1 who turned on me three days before her interview date in Moscow.  She assured me that this would never happen with her because she will not accept my marriage proposal until she is sure.  And when she turned on me, she denied ever saying it.

Under IMBRA, for those unaware, you get TWO strikes and then you are out.  And it does not matter if the strikes were the result of unfairness, lies, or outright fraud by the woman, which was the case with me both times.  To get a third, you need to apply for a waiver, which is discretionary by USCIS.

So how can I propose marriage again, knowing that I may very well have to face my new bride to be and tell her that because of the fraud committed by two demons from the abyss, my government is denying a visa to a human woman?

I don't know the guidelines on the 3 strikes your out thing but am I wrong in thinking it was two marriages from K-1 visas or is that just two applications?

 

[wicheese]

Al,

Sorry it did not work out, but much better to know now than after you got married (trying to find a silver lining).  Also, why worry about the FSU as there are plenty of nice women in NYC and it's a lot easier to get to know the true lady when she lives in the same city vs. across the ocean.  Now the $12,000 is not that much money and if it's a lot for you, then maybe you should really think twice about looking overseas as the searching and courting part is still going to be cheaper than marrying someone with all the associated costs of bringing her to your country.  

Also, if you applied your definition of her being a bad person to me, then I must be really evil.  After all, I had more than two relationships where we started getting serious (not to the K-1 filing point) and after multiple visits to each I learned more about them and backed out (in none of the cases was it easy).  Well, I'm sure a few choice words were used to describe me afterwards, but does it make me a bad person, because in each case I knew it would not last and getting married would have been a MUCH bigger mistake than leaving a relationship at that point (does not matter how far along the process you are).    Plus, I had kept up with one lady and she's now happily married to a man (RM) who is probably a better fit than what I would have been.  In the same respect, I'm with someone who I have no doubts about and more than happy I did not go forward with the other relationships.  I write this to let you know that it'll not be the end of the world for you as everything happens for a reason, you just need to make the most of it.

In the case of your lady, she might just be one who suffers from cold feet repeatedly.

[Al_C]

That puts things into perspective.

Moderator: Please consider deleting Elena's name and photo; there is no obvious scam here.

I am trying to protect her third victim from ever becoming one in the first place.

This is not my board and I do not call the shots here.  So if protecting a third innocent Western man from this hideous succubus is a problem, let the mods do as they will.  At least I tried.

[Al_C]

Al,

Sorry it did not work out, but much better to know now than after you got married (trying to find a silver lining).  Also, why worry about the FSU as there are plenty of nice women in NYC and it's a lot easier to get to know the true lady when she lives in the same city vs. across the ocean.  Now the $12,000 is not that much money and if it's a lot for you, then maybe you should really think twice about looking overseas as the searching and courting part is still going to be cheaper than marrying someone with all the associated costs of bringing her to your country.  

Also, if you applied your definition of her being a bad person to me, then I must be really evil.  After all, I had more than two relationships where we started getting serious (not to the K-1 filing point) and after multiple visits to each I learned more about them and backed out (in none of the cases was it easy).  Well, I'm sure a few choice words were used to describe me afterwards, but does it make me a bad person, because in each case I knew it would not last and getting married would have been a MUCH bigger mistake than leaving a relationship at that point (does not matter how far along the process you are).    Plus, I had kept up with one lady and she's now happily married to a man (RM) who is probably a better fit than what I would have been.  In the same respect, I'm with someone who I have no doubts about and more than happy I did not go forward with the other relationships.  I write this to let you know that it'll not be the end of the world for you as everything happens for a reason, you just need to make the most of it.

In the case of your lady, she might just be one who suffers from cold feet repeatedly.

Exactly my point.  I have had other RW turn on me, but that was before the K-1, so I just wrote them off and forgot about them.  But once the I-129f is filed, it is too late for that.  At that point, commitment becomes the operative term.  It is not like I filed it without her knowledge.  She did sign off on it.  What did she think she was signing?  Some kind of joke?

[Turboguy]

I don't know the guidelines on the 3 strikes your out thing but am I wrong in thinking it was two marriages from K-1 visas or is that just two applications?

 

A waver is required after (2) K-1's lifetime or one within 24 months previous to the application.  This applies no matter if the visa was approved or denied or even withdrawn.  So far they have been approving the wavers with little problem.  One of our former members who is an immigration attorney had his waver approved for his 5th K-1.   You still have the option of marrying in her country and doing a spousal visa.  There are no limits on that at this time. 

It is not the end of any dreams for Al, but it does make it harder.

[Jack]

Some of you here will have better memories than I or time to go back and look, but isn't Al the guy who was late getting to the airport to meet this woman and she was at the airport for some time, a few hours maybe, before he showed up to meet her?  And the reason he was late was due to something to do with mom and dad or had to stay late for work?   And did anyone here ever see any signs that this woman actually committed a scam?   I do not recall this but I'm not going back to read thru all the bs. 

Maybe someone has a 'cliff notes' version of what happened. 

I wish Al would look for a Latin or Asian wife. Hate to see a good Rus/Ukr lady getting involved with Al, mom and dad. 

[wicheese]

Exactly my point.  I have had other RW turn on me, but that was before the K-1, so I just wrote them off and forgot about them.  But once the I-129f is filed, it is too late for that.  At that point, commitment becomes the operative term.  It is not like I filed it without her knowledge.  She did sign off on it.  What did she think she was signing?  Some kind of joke?

Al,

I'm in the middle of the K-1 process now and if I received the call that you did, I would be devastated as you probably are.  But, in retrospect I would still be better off than if she went through and got married because she had a sense of commitment as it could lead to a lot of unhappy/frustrating years for her and myself (much more than the 2.5 you have invested at this point).  Trust me on this one!  

In regards to the lady, she did not try to hide her cold feet with the Englishman and that probably means she'll not hide her experience with you from the next man and if he wants to jump in with that knowledge, then it's all on him, so probably no need to publically chastise her.  With you, it makes marrying someone overseas that much more difficult due to the K-1 limits you mentioned, but maybe that's not a bad thing as there are many nice AW available (no need to look overseas) and if you still feel you must have a foreign bride, then I'm guessing you can go the K-3 route.

[Al_C]

Some of you here will have better memories than I or time to go back and look, but isn't Al the guy who was late getting to the airport to meet this woman and she was at the airport for some time, a few hours maybe, before he showed up to meet her?  And the reason he was late was due to something to do with mom and dad or had to stay late for work?   And did anyone here ever see any signs that this woman actually committed a scam?   I do not recall this but I'm not going back to read thru all the bs.  

Maybe someone has a 'cliff notes' version of what happened.  

I wish Al would look for a Latin or Asian wife. Hate to see a good Rus/Ukr lady getting involved with Al, mom and dad.  

Yep, one single mistake in 2 1/2 years.  And you, of course, being perfect, are in a position to parlay that into a condemnation of me and my entire family.

By the way, thanks for letting us know that Latin and Asian ladies are inferior to Russian and Ukranian ladies.

[Muzh]

I am trying to protect her third victim from ever becoming one in the first place.

This is not my board and I do not call the shots here.  So if protecting a third innocent Western man from this hideous succubus is a problem, let the mods do as they will.  At least I tried.

Are you sure you want to "save" the next "victim" and not wanting a pound of flesh?


Jack, a latina will chew him and spit him out like a wad of gum after she's "done" with him.

[Al_C]

Jack, a latina will chew him and spit him out like a wad of gum after she's "done" with him.

I am so glad you know everything about me that you can make statements like this.  I dated Latina women in the past and had no problem with them.  I even speak their language.

So why don't we stick to the things we know?

[Jack]

Yep, one single mistake in 2 1/2 years.

One!  I think not by reading of your recent cataclysm.

And you, of course, being perfect,

HAaaaa,   me, .. perfect!     I could write a book on unperfectism   (new word I think I just made up).

in a position to parlay that into a condemnation of me and my entire family.

No, I do not condem your family, the fault 100% has to lie with you.  You have a woman flying to the US for the first time, I think on a K-1 visa.  The woman arrives at the airport, clear's customs and with great excitement is looking for you,  after a day and a half, maybe two days of travel, excitement, tired, weary, she is looking for you.  And where are you?   Your no where to be found  :burnedup:.   momma and pappa have you working late and you decide this woman can wait, I forget how many hours, she can wait for you and she has no idea where you are, when you will arrive.  Maybe she is at wrong airport?   I can only imagine what is going thru the womans mind.   You are NOT ready or mature enough for such a relationship,..period!

What other races do you consider inferior?

To Ukraine/Russian women?   All

[Muzh]

I am so glad you know everything about me that you can make statements like this.  I dated Latina women in the past and had no problem with them.  I even speak their language.

So why don't we stick to the things we know?

Oiga Caballero. Honestamente you dudo que usted no tuvo ningun problema con una latina. Las latinas le gustan hombres hechos y derechos, no los que estan apegados a las faldas de su madre.

Si alguien aqui sabe de mujeres latinas, ese soy yo. Lo demas que usted dice es un cuento.

[Turboguy]

Well said Muzh.  I agree with every word you said.  Humm I wonder what they were however.   

[Turboguy]

Al, you seem to think that keeping her waiting at the airport was a non issue that she forgot about and never mentioned again.  I am not in her head to know what she thought but there have been lots of times in my life that people did things and I didn't go on about it forever, but often I kept it in the back of my mind even if I didn't mention it. 

Sometimes things happen.  Very possibly you treated her like a queen the rest of the time and she is some kook who can't make up her mind and enjoys destroying peoples lives and dreams but just maybe there was some blame on your side and whatever it was I hope you both find happiness in the future and can't see dragging anyone, her or you through the mud to any degree.  Move on.  Your life isn't over and there are good women out there.

[Al_C]

Well said Muzh.  I agree with every word you said.  Humm I wonder what they were however.  

Nothing worth responding to, nor of my effort to translate it for everyone.

It is sad that every thread in this board has to be peppered with contempt that all of us are forced to wade through.

I know it is over.  But this woman now has two heads mounted on the mantle over her fireplace.  I just can't sit back and do nothing while she hunts for head #3.  She needs to be stopped, and I am in the best position to do it.

[Muzh]

Well said Muzh.  I agree with every word you said.  Humm I wonder what they were however.   

 

Nothing worth responding to, nor of my effort to translate it for everyone.

Indeed, just a couple of short sentences telling you to grow some balls.

It is sad that every thread in this board has to be peppered with contempt that all of us are forced to wade through.

I know it is over.  But this woman now has two heads mounted on the mantle over her fireplace.  I just can't sit back and do nothing while she hunts for head #3.  She needs to be stopped, and I am in the best position to do it.

Contempt? You came here ready to burn this woman at the stake. The problem is that no one is buying it. There will be no posse. You are on your own. Er, and mommy too.

TG, it simply says "Latinas love real men, not mamas boy."

Sound familiar?

[Turboguy]

Actually I could read most of it.  There was a word or two I didn't understand.  Sort of a hangover from when I started looking outside the USA and at first looked at Latino women.  I would sit with a dictionary and translate the letters word by word and did get to the point where I could read Spanish pretty well.  Some stuck with me.

You know Al, sometimes it is healthier to let things go and just move on with your life.  I went through much the same thing and it didn't leave me damaged.  It made me more determined than ever to do whatever it took to succeed.  

If you look at it as a learning experience you can be a better and stronger person who will look back on this someday and say, Wow, I am really glad she didn't marry me.  Look how much happier I am now.  She did the best thing for me that she ever could have done.

There is an oft quoted line that goes.  What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  Don't let it kill you.

[tim 360]

Nothing worth responding to, nor of my effort to translate it for everyone.

It is sad that every thread in this board has to be peppered with contempt that all of us are forced to wade through.

I know it is over.  But this woman now has two heads mounted on the mantle over her fireplace.  I just can't sit back and do nothing while she hunts for head #3.  She needs to be stopped, and I am in the best position to do it.

AL, Easy to see that her bailing on your K1  has got you upset.  But all this bitterness and negativity isn't going to do a thing for you or your life.  Fuggetaboud her.  Don't waste your time trying to get any revenge on her etc, it just exacerbates the bitter mindset cycle you have right now and it ain't really doin' YOU any good.  Maybe she's a flake anyway.  Do yourself a favor and concentrate on doing some good things for yourself and enjoy life--forget the hate.  Peace. 

[Al_C]

FINE!! Since my edit on the original post has now timed out and I can no longer change it, I join in the call on the mods to remove the photo and her last name.

I wash my hands of her next victim.

Happy now?

I thought we were supposed to be helping each other.  There is a deadlly succubus on the loose, feeding on innocent Western men looking for Russian wives.  She is no longer my problem, as I know who she is.  But I don't want to hear anything from her next victim as I tried to stop her.

[SFandEE]

I want to post that it is lost on me why the events in this story would ruin a life, upset and unsettle--sure.

If all complaints were accepted as valid, at the worst money (not a lot), time (2-3 yrs), and emotion were lost to this woman.  Sounds like some distress and perhaps some physical concern too--more problematic.

Is it possible that the reaction to this situation has been worse than the deception for the well being of life?  Best wishes to getting through this issue to hopefully better times.  My experience is that the sooner I let go away from my anger and feelings of revenge, the easier it is to get on with moving forward.  Best wishes.

[I/O]

AL: You've used some awfully strong language in this thread regarding this woman and none of it is justified based on what you've told us. You did, very seriously, eff up in being late for that airport meeting. She may not have mentioned it but I suspect she wouldn't have let that one go. I can't know the reasons for her bailing out but it would be naive' at best to believe that incident wouldn't have had residual effect and perhaps even directly contributed to her final decision making.