If You See This Picture on a Marriage Site, Click NEXT Immediately!

[GregfromGa]

So exactly how late was he?   She probably didnt forget and if she's anything like the few UW that I know, she holds a grudge like the late Ayatollah Khomeini.

[Steamer]

I thought we were supposed to be helping each other. 

I understand your hurt and anger. Going through a divorce gave me a similar attitude. All I can say is the best revenge is to be a success. Prove these women wrong and make them eat their words. The first step (after the anger cools down) is to do an honest analysis to find out what your part was in all this, so you don't do the same things again. Even if it is all her fault it's still your fault for choosing her.

Hang in there brother.

[I/O]

So exactly how late was he?

About 2 hours according to the record.

[GQBlues]

Al_C-

I'm sorry to hear your relationship ended in this fashion. I'll add another whack at the dead horse and just simply say move on. You laid out some pretty strong words towards the woman you once 'love' enough to marry and spend the rest of your life with.

That in itself rather speaks more about you than the woman you now scorn...

She 'invested' just as much time as you, and frankly, if she really is who and what you say she is - she isn't much a scammer. Certainly, at her current age, having you 'spend' 12K for the period of 30-36 months (likely a huge chunk of that is what you spent for yourself as well) in exchange for 2.5-3 years of her life seem highly unlikely to make her a scammer.

You're a bit more than 'just upset' about the situation, as everyone here can easily understand and sympathizes with. But AL, judging from what you're doing and saying right now only moves the proverbial hot potato unto your lap.

Don't worry about any imagined '3rd' victim as unfortunately right now that only serves to show that is as much a creation of your frustration as this woman scamming you...

Bottom line is, pride and integrity is something no one can ever take away from you, but something you can easily lose.

If you feel you were wronged, then what better opportunity can come your way than having the ability to continue your search for someone else worthy of your companionship.

Take a break for a while, man.

[erudite]

As an objective observer having read the threads related to this situation, it seems the woman probably saved both of them a lot of heartache, time, trouble and misery in the long run. It could have been a whole lot worse if she was not intent on sticking with him long run, come to America, gotten married and then turned everything upside down. Al would have been saying "why didn't she stop before she came here in the first place".  She saved you both a lot of grief and even more money.

Of course Al should realize his mother and father will never stop rubbing his nose in this "pile of S**t" situation and what happened.

[Ravens9273]

Adding my 2 cents.

Concerning the 2 strike rule for a K-1. There is no limit to filing for a spouse.
Your search is not over. If you cannot get a waiver then you marry outside the USA and file an I-130.
Some here have married outside their country before bring wife over. I myself am one of them. We married in Jamaica.

[rockford75]

Changed her mind? On 2 different men? No way! I dont buy it! Shes a total scam!

[GQBlues]

Adding my 2 cents.

Concerning the 2 strike rule for a K-1. There is no limit to filing for a spouse.
Your search is not over. If you cannot get a waiver then you marry outside the USA and file an I-130.
Some here have married outside their country before bring wife over. I myself am one of them. We married in Jamaica.

Ravens-

Do you happen to know if the 2-file lifetime limit effective when IMBRA became law (2006), or is it retro-active?

[Ravens9273]

GQ

I know nothing about the 2 strike laws and everything around the K-1. My response was more to the idea AL stated his search was over because he could not file another K-1.
All I know is there is no limit when filing for a spouse. I cannot make any comment for filing the K-1. To be honest I did not even know there was a 2 strike rule.
My knoweldge is strickly around filing an I-130 and this there is no limit on as long as the marriage is legal.

[SMS60]

Al

Take the high road and don't blame the woman. You chose to pursue the wrong woman. Im sure if you are honest with yourself you know you ignored some "ah ha" moments. This all lays on your shoulders. You had complete control over your actions. You could have stopped and walked away at anytime. This forum does not focus enough on a man working on self improvement. Its noble to think you can warn the next man but a man who has his chit together does not need your warnings. He knows when he should walk away.

[GQBlues]

Thanks Ravens-

The I-130 is definitely a viable option for AL_C if nothing else. The only info I can see regarding K-1 is this...

Limits Placed on How Many and How Often Fiancé(e) Visa Petitions May be Filed; Petitioners with Violent Criminal Records Barred from Serial Sponsorship.

IMBRA limits a US petitioner’s sponsorship of K1 (fiancé(e)) visas to 2 total, with no less than 2 years between the filing of the last approved petition and the current petition. A petitioner may seek a discretionary waiver of these limits from DHS. However, DHS cannot ordinarily waive the limits if the U.S. petitioner has a record of violent criminal offenses. (Section 832(a)(1))

He'll have to wait at least 2 years even if he files a waiver apparently. But then, not sure if his filing was *approved* before the woman broke it off. If it wasn't, it leaves me an impression it doesn't technically count..

Just side curiosity....  :noidea:

[Faux Pas]

GQ

I know nothing about the 2 strike laws and everything around the K-1. My response was more to the idea AL stated his search was over because he could not file another K-1.
All I know is there is no limit when filing for a spouse. I cannot make any comment for filing the K-1. To be honest I did not even know there was a 2 strike rule.
My knoweldge is strickly around filing an I-130 and this there is no limit on as long as the marriage is legal.

Precursor  

Ravens, good to see you posting again

[Vaughn]

Al, sorry things went south. I have to agree with many others here and note that advertising her "deception" (and
I do use that word loosely) will only hinder your own future progress. Spend the rest of the week venting - after
that, though, it's time to regroup, relax - and indulge in the disaster you so narrowly avoided.

FWIW - a half dozen of my wife's friends viewed the photo of you with Ms Blondie in St Pete from what - 5 years
ago? They couldn't believe the lady couldn't muster so much as a smile... not implying you have any self-image
trouble, but these women also couldn't believe handsome Al wasn't "off the market" long ago.

A few have bared their usual fangs here - including Jack, who IMO occasionally drops the gloves in truly
classless fashion - so consider from where it comes - and I suspect you have.

Will somebody clear this question: does a K-1 automatically submit to IMBRA compliance? If yes, do not the
very letters of the IMBRA acronym imply a Marriage Broker was involved?

[Faux Pas]

Will somebody clear this question: does a K-1 automatically submit to IMBRA compliance? If yes, do not the
very letters of the IMBRA acronym imply a Marriage Broker was involved?

IIRC, the I-129f has a question as to "did you meet through International Marriage Broker, Yes-No" then those marking yes get another question(s) as to IMBRA

[dogspot]

Al,

Having followed your posts on Visa Journey for the past six months, and knowing you as a very active participant over there and suddenly falling off the map, I can honestly say I was concerned. But to be honest with you, I was concerned long before then; at around the two month mark when you beat up your mailbox out of frustration because of the injustice of the Vermont Disservice Center; Because of your constant negativity and hostile behavior over there. I couldn’t help but worry that much of that hostility was carrying over into your conversations with Elena, possibly causing her to see a side of you that just wasn’t cool with her. You were warned by others (and me) to cool it down for your own sake and for the good of your relationship. But you defied this advice and went on, making yourself more and more miserable with each passing day.

I’m not writing this to say “I told you so” but to possibly shine some light on what you might have done to cause her to flee. Did you see any changes in her during your conversations? Did you talk about immigration too much? Do you think her changing her mind could possibly have to do with your frustrations with the system?

I wish you the best, Al, and hope that you come out of this a stronger person. Take a break and, when the time is right, get back in the saddle and find the woman that you were meant to be with.

[Maxx2]

I know it is over.  But this woman now has two heads mounted on the mantle over her fireplace.  I just can't sit back and do nothing while she hunts for head #3.  She needs to be stopped, and I am in the best position to do it.

I know one guy who set up a facebook account in the name of his ex-wife Martha http://www.facebook.com/bellia666

Frankly I think it is crazy and does more damage to him than her. Using abusive means to fight an abuser is beyond stupid. 

[Maxx2]

It could have been a whole lot worse if she was not intent on sticking with him long run, come to America, gotten married and then turned everything upside down.

AMEN! to that! It's every man and woman's dream who has been scammed by a GCG wife/husband to push a magic button and have their situation wind up like Al's.

[Al_C]

Elena complained ONCE in December that she was tired of hearing about the visa, so I accommodated her wish by shutting down all conversation about the visa with her except to answer questions she asked from time to time.  She never had to ask me for anything twice because she always got what she wanted on the first request, visa talk included.

I hope that answers your question.

My opinion remains the same:  Once the lady cooperates with the man to get the visa filed, backing out is no longer a morally valid choice.  Honoring her commitment is the only morally correct choice.  I honored mine, but she spat on hers.  Case closed.

Since one poster here brought up Olga, the woman from St. Petersburg I visited 5 years ago, while that one didn't fly either, at least Olga didn't play any games.  She told me flat out after our week together was done that we were not going anywhere, but she stayed with me for the entire week, even though she might have concluded that we were done before that week was up.  Not the ending I was hoping for, but no stupid games and no hard feelings.  She thanked me for my kindness and caring during that week and left with my respect for her intact.  She even e-mailed me later with detailed advice on what I could have done better with her in the hope that I could put the knowledge to good use with another Russian lady.  I know she didn't smile well, but I'll take her respect and her sour puss over a smiling succubus any day.

[LiveFromUkraine]

My opinion remains the same:  Once the lady cooperates with the man to get the visa filed, backing out is no longer a morally valid choice.  Honoring her commitment is the only morally correct choice.  I honored mine, but she spat on hers.  Case closed.

You make it sound more like a business agreement then a relationship.  I think she made the right decision judging from your posts here.

[Gator]

Will somebody clear this question: does a K-1 automatically submit to IMBRA compliance? If yes, do not the
very letters of the IMBRA acronym imply a Marriage Broker was involved?

IIRC, the I-129f has a question as to "did you meet through International Marriage Broker, Yes-No" then those marking yes get another question(s) as to IMBRA

The I-129f asks the applicant to identify the name, contact information and location of the IMB.   All men, even those who did not meet his fiancee via an IMB, must answer  whether he has been convicted of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, stalking, etc.   Any man requiring a waiver would probably be denied if he had been convicted of such crimes.

[Rubicon]

I want to post that it is lost on me why the events in this story would ruin a life, upset and unsettle--sure.

If all complaints were accepted as valid, at the worst money (not a lot), time (2-3 yrs), and emotion were lost to this woman.  Sounds like some distress and perhaps some physical concern too--more problematic.

Is it possible that the reaction to this situation has been worse than the deception for the well being of life?  Best wishes to getting through this issue to hopefully better times.  My experience is that the sooner I let go away from my anger and feelings of revenge, the easier it is to get on with moving forward.  Best wishes.

well said!

[Rubicon]

Al C,

1.  you were two hours late picking her up at the airport, I guarantee she NEVER forgot that.

2.  you compared filing paperwork with the US Government to somebody living in Nazi Germany or North Korea.  if you don't think that kind of ridiculous negativity did not bother her, than you are delusional.

any new person reading this thread needs to read the other threads where he admits being late to airport because of working for mommy and daddy, and where he whines that US govt is similar to Nazi germany or N Korea.  pretty sad that Karma bites you on the ass, but it does.

[Faux Pas]

My opinion remains the same:  Once the lady cooperates with the man to get the visa filed, backing out is no longer a morally valid choice.  Honoring her commitment is the only morally correct choice.  I honored mine, but she spat on hers.  Case closed.

Whoaaaaaa! Here you and I will never agree. The commitment on a moral basis doesn't begin with a filing of a visa application and YES, it is never to late to back out . If there is a moral lock IMHO it would be when during the vows portion of the wedding. That Al, would be the finish line (for lack of a better word). Guy, your thought process is appearing warped. Sounding more and more like there's much more to the story than we're getting

[felix8787]

My wife wanted me to post something that she says, but I will not. 

[Rutherford]

I agree with this  below , lets grow up and grow on

You make it sound as if you never had one good day with her in those 2 1/2 years.   IMO $12,000 is not much money for 2 1/2 years.   Just imagine how much you would have spent if she came here, married you and then changed her mind. 

It is time to move on.  First step is to accept the fact that she changed her mind.  Second step, forget about revenge.