Shopping as an interest

[SFandEE]

Do you consider it to be a red flag when someone puts "shopping" as a personal interest or hobby?  Especially curious about FSUW thoughts on this.  What are your read flags in a written profile?  One of mine is 18 to 99 under age interest--with words something like "to me age is only a number".

I can see how shopping is fun, but an interest.

[acctBill]

SFandEE you can't have ever been married or in a long term relationship. Most adult women seem to love shopping, it's probably genetic. I, on the other hand, try to see how fast I can go into a store buy something and get out of the store, totally different gene.   If you're ever in a city in the FSU and want to see beautiful women go to areas that have lots of stores catering to women, that's where the women go to spend money.

My wife loves to shop, she said she really started to shop when she moved from Moscow to the UK. Moscow in the early 1990's still had a mostly Soviet styled selection of women's fashions, my wife said that she thought she'd gone to paradise when she saw the shopping in the UK.

I've noticed in the last year or so that my 12 year old daughter has taken a far greater interest in going shopping with her mother.  The shopping gene probably doesn't kick in until close to puberty.     I wouldn't take it as a red flag, just an honest statement of what women in general like to do with their free time.     

[SFandEE]

Most certainly been in long-term relationships with women and I do know it is fun and important, but just putting that observation out there.  Hope this thread won't become about me.  If this is not a red flag, the question remains what do others see as red flags in a profile?

[Doll]

It can be  a red flag in terms of spending too much.

[BC]

  If this is not a red flag, the question remains what do others see as red flags in a profile?.

Age: 16

Kidding aside (or maybe not), the word sponsor appearing would likely be a red flag for the marriage minded.. But that's about it.

[OlgaH]

It can be  a red flag in terms of spending too much.

Yes, for some people shopping like a drug.

Omniomania: Shopping Addiction
http://manageaddiction.com/shoppingspending-addiction/omniomania-shopping-addiction/

[SANDRO43]

If this is not a red flag, the question remains what do others see as red flags in a profile?

Have a look at the ScamCard in the Scam Avoidance menu at left .

[acctBill]

Most certainly been in long-term relationships with women and I do know it is fun and important, but just putting that observation out there.  Hope this thread won't become about me.  If this is not a red flag, the question remains what do others see as red flags in a profile?

SFandEE no insult intended.  I've been married 14 years this June and I've noticed that women in general, not just FSUW, love to shop in the same way that some men love sports or working on cars. If a woman you've just met wants you to buy her a $500 leather jacket, that's a red flag, but a woman stating that she loves going shoe shopping with her girlfriends that's just life.   

[Gator]

Some women just enjoy looking even without buying.  I say "looking" when a better word is "touching."  They can not pass garments on a rack or shelf without touching and feeling the fabric.   

The woman to fear will be self-evident after 10 minutes with her.  She shops as if she is on a mission. 

When shopping with RW you will notice that many RW study the workmanship carefully, while AW tend to just look at the  label and price tag.

Personally, I enjoy shopping with my Cossack woman.  From modeling fashions for over 10 years she knows quality and has a great eye.  Her quick assessments are entertaining.   She even listens to me sometimes because my eye is not so bad.  The best part - she will accept the phrase "enough for now."   We walked into the Versace shop on Capri, and while the staff normally snubs the "just looking" tourist, they gave her full attention.  It was the way she looked, not me - I was in tourist garb.  I nearly fainted at the price tag for one long sweater she liked - 1,200 Euro!!!!   (a sweater!).  She noticed the price tag and never changed expression. 

[Nat]

Well, it can either be a sign that she's an honest person, because all girls like shopping, or she's a shopaholic and wastes all her money on this hobby. I think the best variant is to ask her about it

[Kuna]

Do you consider it to be a red flag when someone puts "shopping" as a personal interest or hobby? 

It's better than shopping being an addiction.   

My wife loves to shop, but it's not specifically about spending. I can enjoy shopping... but I prefer buying. 

The difference?

When my wife "shops" she wants to walk, stop, touch, feel, look, imagine, compare, talk, drink coffee, eat cake, take the boys to the playground... and when we're all exhausted she'll go back and buy the very first thing she saw that day.   

When we go "buying" I know what I want,  I find it, I buy it. 

I don't think this is a red flag...  until you go shopping with a new lady and start thinking about second mortgages. 

[KevinD]

When I see the word "generous" I tend to be skeptical. It is not an automatic disqualifier but it is a red flag to me.

Am I wrong? Is "generous" the same as "not greedy"?

[SFandEE]

Both are red flags to me, would likely move along if both of those were in her profile.  Generous is certainly an important quality in a prospective WM mate, but considering the business implications I would prefer the word "thoughtful" "kind" or "considerate".  Still has the same meaning, but does not carry the materialistic implications of a pay as you go, kept woman on the lookout for a bigger, better deal.

[Muzh]

What's the matter? Is your wallet feeling a little strain?

SF&EE, you really don't want to be labled greedy, that's the kiss of death.

[KevinD]

I don't consider "not greedy" as a show stopper.  There are many posts on this site explaining the concept. One of the nicest woman I met here used the term in her profile.

We did talk about what the term meant to her and it would be close to stingy or selfish.

Maybe that is the lesson. If a woman interests you, write her and discuss your concerns.

[SFandEE]

What's the matter? Is your wallet feeling a little strain?

SF&EE, you really don't want to be labled greedy, that's the kiss of death.

Muzh--this is a forum, for discussion.  I hope it is not necessary to make it personal about me and matters of my wallet.  I am not a stingy man with my emotions or my money.  I agree that being labeled greedy would be a very bad thing--and also I think it is likely that what is generous to one FSUW would be considered over the top and wasteful to another FSUW.  Gator referenced in another post about a family member who was receiving to him what were mind-boggling gifts from Russian suitors, perhaps to many Russians it is normal  I think there is behavior we would all agree as greedy and other behavior that is highly subjective, especially based on the intentions of both parties.  I would suggest for a WM to give a gift with expectations of physical intimacy would be a huge red flag on his part.

I started this subject as an opportunity for people to share their profile red-flags.  For me shopping as an interest or a hobby has always been odd to me.  All of the family females in my life are not like this--I do have female friends who are like this and it is not an unattractive quality, like has been said, perhaps it is a comment that merits further conversation and observation.  

This thread does not need to be about me though in order to be interesting or valuable.  What are your profile red flags--that's all?  I mentioned earlier wide age ranges of prospective mates as another.

[Misha]

SF&EE, you really don't want to be labled greedy, that's the kiss of death.

Actually, with some women, you are probably better off to be written off because of your alleged "greediness" which is in reality a reflection of their true greed 

[Muzh]

Muzh--this is a forum, for discussion.  I hope it is not necessary to make it personal about me and matters of my wallet.  I am not a stingy man with my emotions or my money.  I agree that being labeled greedy would be a very bad thing--and also I think it is likely that what is generous to one FSUW would be considered over the top and wasteful to another FSUW.  I think there is behavior we would all agree as greedy and other behavior that is highly subjective, especially based on the intentions of both parties.  I would suggest for a WM to give a conditional gift with physical intimacy would be a huge red flag on his part.

SF, chill. Why are you looking for potential red flags? Why are you muddying the waters knowing you will have to drink from it later?

For the life of me I cannot understand this constant quest of the worse RW can offer.

After a while it gets stale.

For example: Women who consider shopping an interest, is that considered to be a red flag? Boy, do we know the answer to that one.

Was it the end of the world? Did we stopped chasing after them? Do they make us horny?

I started this subject as an opportunity for people to share their profile red-flags.  For me shopping as an interest or a hobby has always been odd to me.  All of the family females in my life are not like this--I do have female friends who are like this and it is not an unattractive quality, like has been said, perhaps it is a comment that merits further conversation and observation.

 

I've never been good a double negatives. Seriously. Do you mean it is an attractive quality?

Now, since you want to compare what a Russian woman does with your American family females, let me try to understand it.

My wife speaks Russian and none of my family females don't. Is this a red flag?

Or how about, can some of the Russian ladies here give me some background on why such ladies would say that one of their interests is shopping? Actually, why don't you ask any woman? They'll be more than happy to tell you that it is a normal thing for many women and should not be considered a major red flag. Mostly minor if you manage to discuss the issue with the woman you live with and come to an agreement how much can be spent based on your budget. There.

Why is it that RW have to have a third eye on their foreheads?

This thread does not need to be about me though in order to be interesting or valuable.  What are your profile red flags--that's all?  I mentioned earlier wide age ranges of prospective mates as another.

It is not only you who will ask these kind of questions. I can understand that there are cultural differences but geez some things are basically constant.

Do the Russian ladies here find some of these questions dumb or offensive? Or is it just me?

[SFandEE]

I'm hoping it is just you.  Since I am not dumb and I have no intention of being offensive.

But who knows--maybe your contributions and threads that you start are more valuable than mine.  I still insist there was no need for this thread to be about me and as soon as we can get it back to the "obvious" the better.

Will you be agreeable to this Muzh, I have been trying to re-direct and can and will let it go.  Perhaps the thread will dry up and go away since red flags are obvious.

[OlgaH]

 For me shopping as an interest or a hobby has always been odd to me.  

I can understand such interest and hobby as gardening, collecting something, antique, theater and so on, but just shopping... it sounds odd to me too.

[OlgaH]

I agree that being labeled greedy would be a very bad thing--and also I think it is likely that what is generous to one FSUW would be considered over the top and wasteful to another FSUW.

Some women will easily label men as greedy men if the men will not take them to shop on their first date  

[Faux Pas]

For me shopping as an interest or a hobby has always been odd to me.  All of the family females in my life are not like this--I do have female friends who are like this and it is not an unattractive quality, like has been said, perhaps it is a comment that merits further conversation and observation.

Actually, just asking this question does to a large degree "make it about you". Why do you find it odd? I'm a bit perplexed. Shopping has been a major source of both entertainment and pleasure for most women I have ever known. My Russian wife is no exception. She never mentions how much she spent but frequently brags about how much she saved. Shopping is not a bad thing SF. Sure some women don't care for it like some men don't get football but saying women stereotypically do live to shop would be a true statement.

It's should not IMO be considered a red flag. If it was an addiction she likely wouldn't mention it.

[Gator]

Some RW take pride in themselves as excellent shoppers; they feel they can benefit the family by buying better, if not more, for less money.

[Gator]

Greedy!  Learn this word, know its implications.

Women members of RWD, please correct me if I am wrong.

A sincere RW interested in having a family will indeed consider whether a man is "greedy."  "Greedy" is not about a RW wondering if you will spend money buying gifts for her.  It is her assessment of whether a man will put his family first, especially in tough times.  Synonyms:  selfish, egotistical, self-absorbed,  narcissistic and any other word suggesting that a man doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone other than himself.


A wealthy man will not be a good husband if he is greedy.

[OlgaH]

 Shopping has been a major source of both entertainment and pleasure for most women I have ever known.

Though I'm not a big shopper but I try to make my shopping time as an entertainment and find pleasure, otherwise I would not be able to bear it,   probably because I don't shop when there is no necessity. But I would not say that the shopping is a major source of entertainment or pleasure, and I would not put it into the list of my interests.

 

Some RW take pride in themselves as excellent shoppers; they feel they can benefit the family by buying better, if not more, for less money.

I also like benefiting from shopping and I do it well  

One of my interests now is gardening and I would call this interest as one of my major sources of both entertainment and pleasure. Yes, I do some shopping as I need seeds, pots, dirt, fertilizer and so on. I shop for the sake of my gardening interest, but not for the sake of shopping