RW and nerdy men

[defrag010]

When most people hear the word "nerd", they assume it as a stereotype and think of This guy.
However, if you look the word up in the dictionary, you will see:

an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit

I am making my post about men who fit the dictionary definition of the word "nerd".
He looks and acts like an average person. His hobby or pursuit could be anything ranging from cars, performing arts, photography, reading/writing, cooking, gardening, to collecting. He has a rich inner life and is very passionate about what he does. He doesn't depend on being social with other people to be happy. He has a couple close friends who he enjoys time with occasionally, but he prefers to be by himself enjoying his pursuit or in the company of a significant other. He CAN talk the talk at social events if he needs to, but most of the time he is reserved and keeps to himself. When nobody else is around, he will let his guard down and open up to you in the deepest of ways.  He loves meaningful conversation yet loathes empty chitchat/smalltalk. He loves to have fun and is unpredictable: spontaneous and exciting one day, then the next day stays home and engulfs himself in his hobby. His personality type is INFJ.

I know it's generalizing, but would a guy with a personality like this be considered attractive in the least bit to a passionate RW?

[dbneeley]

Defrag---

Your question was a bit on the theoretical side, perhaps. Rather than the long list of potential activities such a person might have, why not simply spit out the one in question?

That said, just as with Western women, the best idea for such a person focused on a narrow interest range would be to find a lady with similar if not identical interests. Offhand, I can think of none that are exclusive to the West and that are not also present in the FSU to one degree or another.

David

[Shadow]

A guy like that would be found attractive by an RW who would share interest or be same minded.
If the guy would try to meet RW who enjoy going to clubs, bars and nightlife, it would probably not work.

If the guy would be honest about who and what he is, there is no reason why he could not find someone who would like him for himself. If he tried to pretend being different, it would be a trainwreck waiting to happen once he stops pretending.

[Lily]

I would say that generally the described type of person may be attractive to some women, why not?

Single-mindedness may translate in female minds as strong will and willingness to achieve much in life. This should be attractive by definition. Hobbies may make a man interesting in a woman's eyes. Overall, you described a quietly interesting type.

However, this is all generalities. Whether a particular person can attract women, and if not, what he can reasonably do about it, is a different question.

[GregfromGa]

I would say that generally the described type of person may be attractive to some women, why not?

Single-mindedness may translate in female minds as strong will and willingness to achieve much in life. This should be attractive by definition. Hobbies may make a man interesting in a woman's eyes. Overall, you described a quietly interesting type.

However, this is all generalities. Whether a particular person can attract women, and if not, what he can reasonably do about it, is a different question.

Just another shinning example as to why Lily has always been one of my favorite posters here. I remember when Lily first made her appearance here. Some here doubted she was a woman at all. As you can easily see they really really missed the boat on that one. Hope all is going well for you in the Canada dear. As for the question of the OP. I think you'll be fine. Not everyone has to be the Marlboro Man to attract women. It was very easy for me because I'm well a very good looking man and I kept myself in great shape during my run back and forth to the FSU. That along with a great sense of humor and lots of spending money is always a plus as well.

[Nat]

Everybody here who attend the chat know that I LOVE nerdy men They are even in my interests on facebook So it depends on a woman, really. If a woman (and it doesn't matter Russian or American one) isn't into nerdy stuff, she'll be bored and this kind of relationship isn't likely to work. If she does like all those geeky activities, then why not?

[Muzh]

Hey!

Who gave you permission to post my picture?? Huh, huh?

My wife said that if you are as handsome as me (the guy in the picture) you should have no problems.

Seriously, she said that based on your description you should have no problems.

Now you are armed with self-respect. Go get em Tiger.

[Nat]

He has a couple close friends who he enjoys time with occasionally, but he prefers to be by himself enjoying his pursuit or in the company of a significant other. He CAN talk the talk at social events if he needs to, but most of the time he is reserved and keeps to himself. When nobody else is around, he will let his guard down and open up to you in the deepest of ways.  He loves meaningful conversation yet loathes empty chitchat/smalltalk. He loves to have fun and is unpredictable: spontaneous and exciting one day, then the next day stays home and engulfs himself in his hobby. His personality type is INFJ.

However, this isn't a description of a nerdy man, this is a description of a sociopathic man (well, the link didn't open so may be I missed something). A lot of nerds are sociopaths, but not all sociopaths are nerds. You initial description "an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit" is quite accurate, but the extended version can be applied to a lot of non-nerdy people and actually is something else. For example, look at the characters of the Big Bang Theory - they are classical nerds and they have their nerdy company and engage in all kinds of nerdy activities together

[Blues Fairy]

I LOVE nerdy men

Me too, me too!    I'm married to one. 

[Aloe]

me three

[dogspot]

I know it's generalizing, but would a guy with a personality like this be considered attractive in the least bit to a passionate RW?

Definitely. There are plenty of nerdy women there as well. Are you into nerdy women? Sexy RW who like to read, go to the theatre, ballet or opera, and prefer to share a bottle of wine with her man to socializing with others? Who loathe television, Hollywood movies, and popular culture in general? So do I. That's why I'm marrying her: fits me like a glove.

[Ranetka]

To the OP:

if your post your picture (and bank balance  ) it will allow forum members give you much more precise prediction if RWs are going to like you or not. 

After all, she is not going to know if you have many friends or not while seing you a week or two on holiday? And what is your hobby exactly, may be it is not THAT antisocial?

[Shadow]

To the OP:

if your post your picture (and bank balance  ) it will allow forum members give you much more precise prediction if RWs are going to like you or not. 

After all, she is not going to know if you have many friends or not while seing you a week or two on holiday? And what is your hobby exactly, may be it is not THAT antisocial?

If his hobby is collecting $100 bills and her hobby is to spend them they will fit together.  :evil:

[dbneeley]

However, this isn't a description of a nerdy man, this is a description of a sociopathic man (well, the link didn't open so may be I missed something). A lot of nerds are sociopaths, but not all sociopaths are nerds. You initial description "an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit" is quite accurate, but the extended version can be applied to a lot of non-nerdy people and actually is something else. For example, look at the characters of the Big Bang Theory - they are classical nerds and they have their nerdy company and engage in all kinds of nerdy activities together

Nat,

I strongly suggest you again look at the definition of "sociopathic"--which the description was certainly not. Somewhat "antisocial" perhaps, but very very far from "sociopathic."

David

[vwrw]

This description typifies  an introverted man.

defrag010,  is the person you have described likable and caring? Do people say him that he exudes positive vibes or something of that sort? If yes, he may have a good chance of finding and sustaining a satisfying relationship with a passionate woman.   

[Gator]

defrag010,

You name suggests you are a nerd.  Have you ever taken a scientific test to identify your "nerd purity?"  One such test consists of 500 questions covering social behavior, attire, food, etc.  A typical question is, "Are you on first name basis with employees of Radio Shack?"

You score one point for each question you mark as “yes” or “true.”  Examples of questions:

Are your socks unmatched?
Do you own a digital watch?
Do you own a pocket protector?
 Do you have greasy hair?
 ...without realizing it?
 Do you own any clothing with scientific knowledge printed on it? (e.g. t-shirts with Maxwell's equations)
 ...which you still wear from time to time?
 Have you ever worn a radiation film badge?
 ...while not in the laboratory?
 Are your pants too short?
 Does your underwear have your name in it?
 Is your outfit uncoordinated? (have someone else evaluate this)
 Have you ever worn a button-down shirt and left the tails hanging out?
 Have you ever bought similar looking shirts/pants in order to save time when dressing because "everything goes together"?
 Do you wear glasses?
Have you ever taken a "higher" math course? (Trig, Calculus)
 ...at the college level?
 ...and received an A (3.7 grade point)?
Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course?
Was your SAT math more than 300 above your verbal?
Is your IQ greater than your body weight?
Can you count in binary? (up to decimal 10)
Have you ever solved Schroedinger's Equation?
 ...for fun?
 Do you know the difference between a scalar and a vector?
Have you ever said "quartz crystal"?
Answer yes for each time you know what the acronyms stand for:  RADAR, MODEM, DNA, WYSIWYG, LASER, NORAD,….
You know the value for mass of an electron, molar gas constant,….?
Do you know more than 3 digits of pi?
Can you give the conversion factor between Celsius and Fahrenheit, AU and light years,…?
Do you still own any computer with less than 512k of RAM? (e.g. Commodore 64, Apple II +/e/c, TRS 80, ad infinitum)
Have you ever lost sleep over a computer game?
Do you have any "shareware"?
Have you ever posted to a sci. or science-related news group?
Have you ever written a FAQ for a USENET news group?
Have you ever felt jealous of someone merely because they owned a better computer system than you?
Do you frequently find yourself with more plugs than outlets?
Do you currently own a can of compressed air?
Have you ever taken something apart when nothing was wrong with it?
 ...and put it back together correctly?
 ...without worrying about voiding the warranty?
Were you ever on a chess team?
 ...on a math team?
 ...on a "trivia" team? (college bowl, JEOPARDY)
 ...the captain for any of the teams listed above?
Did you ever join one of the above teams for the purpose of picking up members of the opposite sex?
 Were you ever in a science fair?
 ...that you placed in the top three?
Have you ever used a rare earth element?
Can you name more than 5 shows on PBS? (inc.:A&E, Discovery Channel)
Have you ever read anything by...
 ...Douglas Adams?
 ...Isaac Asimov?
 ...Arthur C. Clarke?
 ...Robert H. Heinlein?
 ...Piers Anthony?
 ...J.R.R. Tolkein?
 ...TSR Hobbies? (i.e. a novel published by the D&D people)
 ...Richard Feynman? (e.g. his lectures, etc.)
 ...Stephen Hawking?
 ...Carl Sagan?
Have you ever slept an inverted day? (sleep at dawn, wake at dusk)
 ...for more than one day in a row?
Was the last naked person you saw a hi-res computer scan?
 Do you talk to yourself?
 ...when other people are around?
Did you go stag to your Senior Prom?
 Have you ever found a grammatical error in a published book?
 Have you ever quoted a piece of literature from memory? (poem, quote)
 Have you ever eaten pizza cold?
 ...do you like it that way?
 ...because you're too lazy to reheat it?
Have you ever given an inanimate object a name? (inc.: stuffed animal)
Was the object something electronic or mechanical?

[GQBlues]

defrag-

When all is said and done, there's always someone for everyone. Sometimes far more than one's fair share...

What will be a certainty is you'll never find out unless you give it an honest try.

[Aloe]

defrag010,

You name suggests you are a nerd.  Have you ever taken a scientific test to identify your "nerd purity?"  One such test consists of 500 questions covering social behavior, attire, food, etc.  A typical question is, "Are you on first name basis with employees of Radio Shack?"

You score one point for each question you mark as “yes” or “true.” 

You answered "yes" to 124 of 500 questions, making you 75.2% nerd pure; that is, you are 75.2% pure in the nerd domain (you have 24.8% nerd in you).
According to the scoring guide, your nerd experience level is: Nerd in Training
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 13%, based on a comparison of your test results with 52554 other submissions for this test.

[neo]

it depends entirely on the girl/woman in question.

theres some mileage in the transformers storyline of the akward geek played by Shia LeBeouf managing to pry the airhead uberbabe Megan Fox from the arms of a dumbwitted college jock through a combination if quick witted charm and epic acts of heroism and several famous babes are betrothed to quite geeky or nerdy chaps rather than brad-pitt-a-likes,

I'm certainly no college studmuffin and have always used charm and humor to attract opposites, its quite possible a woman could find strange hobbies entirely endearing just as another thinks Vin Diesel is the nuts.

you just can't account for taste. human attraction is a fickle master that is as unpredictable as the colour of my underpants coming out of a hot wash.

[Ranetka]

You answered "yes" to 114 of 500 questions, making you 77.2% nerd pure; that is, you are 77.2% pure in the nerd domain (you have 22.8% nerd in you).
According to the scoring guide, your nerd experience level is: Nerd in Training
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 13%, based on a comparison of your test results with 52554 other submissions for this test.

The average purity for this test is 63.4%.
The first submission for this test was received March 4, 1996.

[Ranetka]

You answered "yes" to 114 of 500 questions, making you 77.2% nerd pure; that is, you are 77.2% pure in the nerd domain (you have 22.8% nerd in you).
According to the scoring guide, your nerd experience level is: Nerd in Training
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 13%, based on a comparison of your test results with 52554 other submissions for this test.

The average purity for this test is 63.4%.
The first submission for this test was received March 4, 1996.

Would have been more nerdy but forgot all my math and physics by now.

[Gator]

Aloe and Ranetka,

Congratulations on scoring high as a nerd. 


Very impressive considering that as RW you would not have nerdy clothing, greasy hair, etc.  So you piled up points in other categories.

 

 

[defrag010]

Well, dang.. guess I wasn't fooling anybody by making it a theoretical question. I'm just not a fan of drawing much attention to myself. I've been researching this whole endeavor for the better part of a year and I frequently find mention about RW mostly being social creatures (maybe just part of the culture?), so I have been wondering if a guy like me would just be wasting his time and money.

For those who asked: I'm usually described as being the "nicest guy in the building" wherever I go, so I don't act like I'm pissed at the world.. I just prefer to spend a lot of time doing something I enjoy and I need a lot of alone time. Being social is just so exhausting. I'm a nerd for: Cars, music, and audio (speakers). These three things pretty much consume my life as my career is building engines for cars and I spend the majority of my time outside of work listening to music through speakers.   Someone asked for a picture, so here's one of me all cleaned up escorting a bridesmaid at a wedding, and here's another one of me roaming around  in the wilderness. The beanie hat I'm wearing in the second pic encompasses how much of a "car nerd" I am. I've had this screen-name since the mid 90's because I used to be a computer nerd until I started messing with cars.. and the rest is history.

[JohnDearGreen]

I've had this screen-name since the mid 90's because I used to be a computer nerd until I started messing with cars.. and the rest is history.

fragmented:

If you were a real computer nerd, you would remember your EE design course in propositional logic, modus ponens: A->B.  If A->B and A are true, then B must be true.  It sounds as you have a preconceived notion: INFJ -> "not attractive to RW"?  Suggest you assume the opposite and attempt to prove a contradiction.   Therefore assume "attractive to RW", go for it, and see if it contradicts your original assumption.

[defrag010]

I'm definitely not a computer nerd on that kind of level and I am not an EE. Heck, I was just a teenager in the 90's, and back then overclocking my celeron 400 to 600mhz was a BIG deal to me! I spent my middle school years cooped up in my room piecing together computers out of old discarded or hand-me-down parts and trying to get as much performance out of them as I could. I taught myself basic and used to make games on my computer and transfer them to my TI-83 so I could play games in class.

While I do follow your logic, just know that it's a personality trait of an INFJ to always assume the worst until proven wrong. We have a huge fear of rejection, and that fear is enough for us to avoid risk unless we are SURE we won't get rejected. It's why I made the thread.