Her mailing address?

[knooper]

The woman with whom I have been corresponding with for the past month, tells me she does not have a postal address, because she does not own the flat. Does this  sound right? I at a loss!

[ECOCKS]

Red flag alert.

[Patagonie]

The woman with whom I have been corresponding with for the past month, tells me she does not have a postal address, because she does not own the flat. Does this  sound right? I at a loss!

Does she give you a phone number ?
Have you ever contact her by phone ?
Does she reply to each personnal question you ask her ?
Tell us more

[Lily]

In Russia, renting a place to live is still considered something out of ordinary. Tenant is likely not feeling herself secure at a rented place, as she can be asked out of home almost any time with no practical recourse. She might be actually depending quite a lot on her landlord's mercy. A Western person may not understand this practice, but in the FSU this would be rather usual.

Suggest asking her how does her residence status impacts her ability to receive regular mail. Would her landlord not like it? Anything else?

[knooper]

I met her on fiancé.com. After 2 letters I get her email address. She says she does not have a phone, but, I can call her at work. I called her, and someone else answered. I asked to speak with her in russian (I can speak some), but I was told, she cannot have personal calls. She answers all of my questions, in detail. She only sends 2 or 3 photo's with her email, always in good taste. They are always regular pictures. Not studio or anything. Most, she took herself. She is from a very small town, population is 27,000. She emails me at the same time each day. It is between 11:00 and 11:30 her time. So I think she does this at work. I am very skeptical. I think I should be patient. She has not asked for anything. How can I know for sure she is real? Help me lily! :0)

[Rubicon]

she sounds real to me!!  you are not paying for each letter, and she sends you nice photos.  as long as she does not ask you for any money prior to meeting or even afterwards, sounds like everything is normal.

[knooper]

Rubicon, she is so nice in her letters. Very polite, she ask's many questions about my life, and the U.S. Holidays. My diet. Grocery stores. She asks for photo's of food shopping! My daily life. She always want's more pictures. I only send 1 with each email.

[Lily]

I met her on fiancé.com. After 2 letters I get her email address. She says she does not have a phone, but, I can call her at work. I called her, and someone else answered. I asked to speak with her in russian (I can speak some), but I was told, she cannot have personal calls. She answers all of my questions, in detail. She only sends 2 or 3 photo's with her email, always in good taste. They are always regular pictures. Not studio or anything. Most, she took herself. She is from a very small town, population is 27,000. She emails me at the same time each day. It is between 11:00 and 11:30 her time. So I think she does this at work. I am very skeptical. I think I should be patient. She has not asked for anything. How can I know for sure she is real? Help me lily! :0)

So your real concerns that she is for real...May be a private investigator could assist you?
In case her emails are regular, could you ask her straight why she cannot accept personal calls at work or snail mail at home?

Rubicon, in case she is not real, knooper should not invest his time and emotions talking to a ghost. Scammers would want their victim to fall for the 'ghost' so that later they could ask money with a higher probability that the victim will not refuse because of his emotional investments in her. Therefore it is in his interests to discover scam in case it takes place here.

[acctBill]

I met her on fiancé.com. After 2 letters I get her email address. She says she does not have a phone, but, I can call her at work. I called her, and someone else answered. I asked to speak with her in russian (I can speak some), but I was told, she cannot have personal calls. She answers all of my questions, in detail. She only sends 2 or 3 photo's with her email, always in good taste. They are always regular pictures. Not studio or anything. Most, she took herself. She is from a very small town, population is 27,000. She emails me at the same time each day. It is between 11:00 and 11:30 her time. So I think she does this at work. I am very skeptical. I think I should be patient. She has not asked for anything. How can I know for sure she is real? Help me lily! :0)

knooper one thing is for sure, she has a phone, maybe not a landline but certainly a cellphone.  I've been in the Russian countryside in areas that one would think would have no service for cellphones and seen Russians using cellphones.  A town of 27,000 would certainly be big enough for cellphones to be sold and used in the area.  She might not understand how the billing on her cell works and be afraid of a large bill if you call her on it.

[knooper]

She is not russian. She is from malyn, ukraine. From her mail, to me she seems reluctant-afraid to reveal some detail. Should I continue to be patient? She is not the most beautiful woman but, I like her looks. Should I be patient, or show her the door?

[Daveman]

She is not russian. She is from malyn, ukraine. From her mail, to me she seems reluctant-afraid to reveal some detail. Should I continue to be patient? She is not the most beautiful woman but, I like her looks. Should I be patient, or show her the door?

Well, that's your decision to make, of course. My "somethin' ain't quite right here" detector is melting down.  So is yours, because you are here asking questions because that something is naggin' at you.

She gave you her work number, and then can't speak (probably so that you'd think she's a real girl, and at the same time would not have to verify it).  She can't give you a postal address.  She has no phone of her own (pretty much unfathomable).   Play along in email if you wish as it doesn't cost anything to play, but just don't get attached...

[OlgaH]

"Malyn (Ukrainian: Малин, Malyn) (sometimes spelled Malin) is a city in Zhytomyr Oblast (province) of Ukraine located about 65 miles (100 km) northwest of Kiev. Population is 28,113 (2001).

The town hosts a seismic monitoring station (designated PS-45) belonging to an international network of nuclear test monitoring stations intended to verify the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT) treaty."

 
She can't give you a postal address.  She has no phone of her own (pretty much unfathomable).   Play along in email if you wish as it doesn't cost anything to play, but just don't get attached...

I agree with Daveman.

By the way what is her job?

Here is a photo gallery from the official website of Malyn
http://malin-rda.gov.ua/photo.html

and another website with photos on Malyn
http://malin-zh.io.ua/album

I really don't know about cellphones in Ukraine, but in Russia my granny lives in a small town with population 27,300. Almost everyone has a cellphone, my granny has a cellphone too. Also in Russia it is difficult to get a decent job if you don't have an official residential address.

[knooper]

She told me she is a secretary at a clothing factory. She has a secondary level of education. How can I verify she is not a man, without offending or insulting her? Any ideas? 

[SMS60]

She told me she is a secretary at a clothing factory. She has a secondary level of education. How can I verify she is not a man, without offending or insulting her? Any ideas? 

If you have to go this far your done.

As I tried to explain to you in your first thread. You are looking at this in the wrong way. You should not be asking about the woman but about yourself. When a man is firing on all 8 cyclinders he doesnt need to ask questions like these. He knows because he is confident.

Good luck.

[Patagonie]

knooper one thing is for sure, she has a phone, maybe not a landline but certainly a cellphone.  I've been in the Russian countryside in areas that one would think would have no service for cellphones and seen Russians using cellphones.  A town of 27,000 would certainly be big enough for cellphones to be sold and used in the area.  She might not understand how the billing on her cell works and be afraid of a large bill if you call her on it.

Aloe gives you the last key, but a women who don't want to give you her adress and her mobile number. I think there are more interesting challenges (or more easy if you prefer). Keek an eye and begin to recruit others chicks. Stop to focus on someone you have never meet.

[knooper]

Ok, sms60, I should just show no respect to someone, because I am confident? I do not lack for confidence, whatsoever. Just so you know. I was raised, to respect and honor others. In no way should this be mistaken for weakness, or somehow I'm inferior to anyone. Having said that, how do you treat RW in the first phases of communication? Teach me.

[Faux Pas]

Ok, sms60, I should just show no respect to someone, because I am confident? I do not lack for confidence, whatsoever. Just so you know. I was raised, to respect and honor others. In no way should this be mistaken for weakness, or somehow I'm inferior to anyone. Having said that, how do you treat RW in the first phases of communication? Teach me.

There's been a lot of beating around the bush in this thread and a hammer or two on your head. You are not "getting it". The chances are 9 of 10 that this is a scammer and setting you up for the money trigger. A 1 in 10 chance it is not a scammer. When a woman gives you a phone number it is for you to contact her, no? You called the work number (yeah right) given and the secretary can't speak on the phone? Her emails are all so nice and dreamy. This from a woman who has no cell phone or even a mailing address? Most RW or UW I know letters would be of suicide if they had no cell phone. You are getting hosed guy. Proceed at your own peril.

[dbneeley]

She told me she is a secretary at a clothing factory. She has a secondary level of education. How can I verify she is not a man, without offending or insulting her? Any ideas? 

Knooper,

I suppose in a country of 50 million folks, it is remotely possible there may be one lady somewhere of her education and job who may not have a cell phone. I've certainly never seen one, but it is remotely possible. It is highly unlikely that she is the one, however.

Everyone is registered at some address in Ukraine. It may be a parent's address still, but somewhere. Thus, everyone also has a mail address.

In the early stages of communication, you need to quickly get to a comfortable point with someone--or move on. It's one thing if she says she hesitates to give her cell number until she knows you better--to claim she doesn't have one is almost certainly a lie.

There are plenty of real, sincere ladies to discover. Don't waste your time when there are this many signals that this is not one of them. It simply doesn't matter if the person on the other end is male or female--scammers come in both genders.

Move on before you become even more emotionally involved.

David

[knooper]

Thanks Faux pas. That is what I needed to hear. I will confront her and gauge her reaction. Then,delete her.

[OlgaH]

She told me she is a secretary at a clothing factory.

OK, she is a secretary and she cannot answer the phone? That is strange to me.

At least we know there is a clothing factory in Malyn  
http://www.ua.all-biz.info/enterprises/36020/

and some of the factory's phone numbers +380 (4133) 5-23-55;  fax: +380 (4133) 5-21-43

and a few more of the factory's phone numbers according to the yellow pages:  +380 (4133) 5-32-76; +380 (4133) 5-31-24; +380 (4133) 5-33-43; +380 (4133) 6-73-33; +380 (4133) 5-21-45; +380 (4133) 6-73-48

[knooper]

What I believe was said,was, she cannot receive personal calls at work. If I translated correct. I only have basic Russian language skills. The phone number she gave to me is on the list you provided. Olga, Thank you for taking the time to investigate for me.

[Jumper]

Personally I would move on, just too much that is odd about it and she doesn't appear bent
 on clearing it up.

There are three Malyn's in Ukraine  by the way?
the one in question with such a factory, and pop of 28,000 , is not so very far from Kiev.

but overall, if it's interesting to you, this  isn't costing you anything but time unless you let it?

Odds are great that there is something not right,so expect that, and don't become emotionally invested, it's just some emails from someone you don't know.

It can be that you are being set up for a scam,
 or that it's a woman who has a local b/f so you can't be calling her  or sending her flowers.. but she'd meet you in Kiev..
or  a million other scenarios, that could be bad or good.
 I'm sure she has some form of  phone ,there maybe reasons she doesn't want you to a call, including she just isn't that into you yet and still discovering if she wants to talk with you,
or is embarrassed of her english level or accent.
I'd say that's probably not the case here, but it's one of many possibilities.


Playing along, if you have the time, isn't a big deal unless you let it become one.
You've communicate 4 weeks...
Time reveals things, normally in fairly short order.


One thing i don't see mentioned often ,
I have never had a woman who was serious that din't call me fairly quickly herself, at least for a brief *Hello*. Some out of the blue ,others I had initially called.
That's before any meetings ,while that might not be typical ,it's certainly my experience.
While it can be expensive for a RW , and i always try and work out  a way to gracefully end the
call quickly and call back...the act of initiating the call itself, isn't  always one sided as seems oft portrayed here.

 If some woman , regardless where she is in the world, finds you very interesting ,
and particularly if you have called her before and hit it off ,she will call you ,in my experience.


Of course the flip side for those who enjoy the paranoid lean,
 is a really good scammer ,who is appropriately well healed in her cell phone minutes ,
would call her mark as well..  :evil:

[Faux Pas]

What I believe was said,was, she cannot receive personal calls at work. If I translated correct. I only have basic Russian language skills. The phone number she gave to me is on the list you provided. Olga, Thank you for taking the time to investigate for me.

knooper
Likely, your heart wants her to be real and also likely your gut is telling you it isn't so. Normally, when a woman gives you contact information like a telephone number, it is a number you can call and reach her instantaneously. If she doesn't give you an instantaneous telephone number, run. Something is seriously afoot.

My guess is that you haven't visited the former Soviet bloc. People in those places have to be contacted too and have to means to do so. Most women that you'll contact from a website will have a cell phone. In fact some will have two. If they have no cell phone you can rest assured they have a landline at home.

My guess is Yuri gave you a phone number of a factory where they knew you'd be denied an opportunity to speak with anyone you asked for. They may even be in on the take. Many times these shysters will even have a women for you to speak with. How could you possibly know the difference?

If a women wants you to contact her, she will give you complete, accurate information and chances are she will be waiting with baited breath to answer the phone. If she isn't, move on. There are many honest, sincere women who want you to contact them. Don't waste your time chasing these ghosts

[OlgaH]

There are three Malyn's in Ukraine  by the way?
the one in question with such a factory, and pop of 28,000 , is not so very far from Kiev.

So far I found only two:
1) Malyn, a city in Zhytomyr Oblast  (with a clothing factory and no so far from Kiev)
2) Malyn, a village in Rivne Oblast (populations is 417)

Probably there is another Malyn and most likely also a village or a small town.

[Jumper]

So far I found only two:
1) Malyn, a city in Zhytomyr Oblast  (with a clothing factory and no so far from Kiev)
2) Malyn, a village in Rivne Oblast (populations is 417)

Probably there is another Malyn and most likely also a village or a small town.

Olga-
yes those two and perhaps a smaller one ? *shrugs*

It's what i dug up in a couple seconds on google maps-

Malyn , Zhytomyrs'ka oblast, Ukraine  (population / 28,000) likely the one in question


Malyn, Mlynivs'kyi, Rivnens'ka oblast, Ukraine (village)

Malyn, Krolevets'kyi, Sumska oblast, Ukraine (over near the Russian border, northeast Ukraine likely a very small village)



Like FP says,
 I certainly wouldn't advise pursuing ghosts,
yet if *she* continued to write,  in his shoes I might continue to correspond , just  to see what turned out.
I'm easily amused I guess.