Told my Son to look in Ukraine.

[thompsongunner06]

OK,,I am married to my Russian/Ukraine women. All is great. My son(just out of the USMC) just broke up with his US girl,,I have advised him to seriously look in Ukraine. No agencys,,,what are some sites for him to start looking and talking? I advised him he can Skype the girls so he knows they are real,,then he can fly next year with us when we go see family. He is 24 and will be starting Chef school this Fall. Thanks for any help.

[Misha]

Wouldn't it be easier for your son to just go visit your wife's relatives in Ukraine? If he were to go, make some friends with guys his own age, and spend some time there, nature would eventually take its course and he would end up meeting someone soon enough.

[thompsongunner06]

That is possible,,one of her family members is big in the Airsoft stuff,,and I plan on doing some digging of war relics. It would be nice if he had contact with a girl there and then could meet her if he flew with us to visit. Gonna have him do some of the "work" on his own.

[Vincenzo]

I would advise against binding him to the country and time of your visit. That will limit his choice.

He should write to girls from different countries and cities, and visit only when he feels strong attraction. I don't understand people who don't travel to places that require a visa - that's another limit.

He can start from http://www.elenasmodels.com Skip sites where a man must pay per letter.

[thompsongunner06]

Thats kinda what I am wanting him to do,,,the only reason to fly with us is my wife can assist at the airport and help him with transportation with out getting ripped off.

[Vincenzo]

Is he a real marine?

[SMS60]

I would tell him to forget about women and start pursuing his passions in life. When young men start living their life without the sole purpose of finding a wife is when they find what they are looking for.

Something just seems wrong with the idea of pursuing a mate as the first priority in life at such a young age.

Something seems creepy about this but I guess its me.

[Ade]

Something seems creepy about this but I guess its me.

I'm not sure I'd call it "creepy" but definitely ill advised.

[Gator]

Something just seems wrong with the idea of pursuing a mate as the first priority in life at such a young age. Something seems creepy about this but I guess its me.

Tommygun obviously thinks his wife is the cat's meow and is thinking that perhaps his son could find similar happiness with a UW. 
 
His son is young and evidently is weary of AW, having just broken up with one.   So his son  meets a few UW and thinks about it.  How is that creepy? 
 
I had a good relationship with my father, and I always paid attention to any advice he gave me.  It does not mean I followed it blindly.   
 

I'm not sure I'd call it "creepy" but definitely ill advised.

The advice is not good if the son is in a rebound from a brutal breakup with the US girl (but we don't know that).  How else is it "definitely ill advised?"  Definitely suggests it is clear to you.  However, I don't think we have enough info.  Maybe the son has saved some money and his tour with the USMC has made him very serious (and that happens).

[Boethius]

Most men are not mature enough for marriage at 24. 
 
I would advise my sons not to marry before 30.

[Vincenzo]

But he can go to a beach city and enjoy time with Ukrainian girls.

[Maxx2]

Wouldn't getting a UW wife be like going through boot camp again?

[chivo]

The sites to look on have been mentioned many times before. Freerussianpersonals, Ukrainedate, etc. Try looking in the archives or In-country services and such on this forum.
 
He's 24 and on the rebound. I can't think of a better place to get back in the game, see another part of life and start making new friends. Just take things slow that's all.
 
Not sure if he's this kind of guy but at 24 time is on his side before he gets seriously involved. In the meantime he can visit, make friends and even have a few girls visit him on student visas. This is the computer age after all.
 
Oh, and he can still look locally while finishing culinary school. I say take him and give him some life experience and more dating options.
 
I know what I would have done/said if my Dad asked me to go to Ukraine. No brainer, especially if he showed me some photos of the girls over there .

[Ade]

The advice is not good if the son is in a rebound from a brutal breakup with the US girl (but we don't know that).  How else is it "definitely ill advised?"  Definitely suggests it is clear to you.  However, I don't think we have enough info.  Maybe the son has saved some money and his tour with the USMC has made him very serious (and that happens).

Oh crap, I just lost a boatload of text I'd written. Too early for this. Here's a quick recap.

I took "seriously look" to mean, "go look for a wife in Ukraine" rather than the other interpretation of, "go and enjoy yourself and sow your wild oats in Ukraine where there are a lot of hot babes that will make a man of you."

Now, with the former interpretation, as Boethius points out, he's a bit young to go out wife hunting. I was committed very young too and know how that ended, and it's a mistake many a young dude makes. Also, as you will likely know, an international relationship is not the easiest thing in the world because of the challenges of communication and cultural differences; it's certainly made easier with experience. His inexperience will also make him a prime target for those that would use him for their own gains. It's a bit weird as well (and I guess this is where "creepy" comes in) to pat your son on the back and suggest he goes wife hunting; I mean, explicitly going out hunting for a wife in another country of your own volition is weird enough isn't it? And lastly, (it's early and can't be bothered to list more) why on earth would a 24 year old that's just got out of the marines, have a problem finding a desirable date at home where he shares a common language and culture and where it'll cost him a lot less to go and see her any time he wishes?

Most of those points hold true for the other interpretation of "seriously look" too if you ask me.

[TwoBitBandit]

My advice is to go enroll in a Russian for foreigners immersion program at a FSU university for three months.


If he willing to live like a FSU student, live in the dorms and take group (rather than individual) lessons it can be less expensive than one might think.


He'll meet tons of young women if he has any game at all.


It would be a great experience even if he didn't meet anyone.

[Gator]

Most men are not mature enough for marriage at 24. 
 

....as Boethius points out, he's a bit young to go out wife hunting. I was committed very young too and know how that ended,

This is so wrong from multiple perspectives.  Pardon me, but I will use this as a lesson to show that quick advice such as this is not what the uninitiated need when they come to RWD. 
 
1.  The Maturity of the Young Man - It is apparent that neither of you can appreciate how boot camp and military duty can mold a young man.  Doing it as one of "the few, the proud..." intensifies the experience.  Then add the possible experience of serving against a hostile force, feeling responsible for the life of the man next to you, facing motivated enemy who are trying to kill you, taking the life of others, ....  I assert that the son is not a kid.
 
You should not project yourself (or your sons or your friends when you were young) into the boots of someone whom you know so little about.  I would have agreed with you if you had said the young man is starting a new career and quite possibly may not have the time necessary to advance an international relationship to the point of marriage.  However, you did not say that.
 
2.  What is the Young Man Doing Now -  Just because he is chatting with UW, do you believe he is keeping his trousers on?   He easily could meet someone locally who will make him forget about a trip to Ukraine.
 
3.  What will the Experience do for the Young Man - He is adding to his worldly experiences by communicating with women from a different culture and thinking about whether this makes sense.  And there is the possibility that he could take a vacation with his father and his stepmom.  There he becomes immersed in the Ukrainian culture to a more profound  depth than any 35-yo traveling on his own.  That alone would make this endeavor worth the effort. 
 
4.  What Guidance will the Man Have -  He has a UW stepmom.  Is there a better coach?   If so, please name him/her.   Do you believe that his stepmom will stand idly by while the young man pursues UW?  I imagine that she will participate in Skype calls as an interpretyer.  I assert that she will probe into the mindset of the UW and can sort the wheat from the chaff.  I wager the the young man, his father and his stepmom will have several in-depth discussions along the way.  I believe all of that is ideal, and most of us would have benefited from something similar when we undertook the RW adventure.
 
 
I am an optimistic person, and I think the glass in this case is more than half full, maybe completely full.  The two of you are highly critical and tend to see the glass as half empty.  In this case you said "empty."   
 
Advice such as yours does serve a useful purpose by showing "what could be wrong" so that a person can add it to "what seems right" and make a reasoned decision.  But to suggest this is "creepy" is projecting too much of yourself and not recognizing.... I have said enough. 

[Muzh]

I would tell him to forget about women and start pursuing his passions in life. When young men start living their life without the sole purpose of finding a wife is when they find what they are looking for.

Something just seems wrong with the idea of pursuing a mate as the first priority in life at such a young age.

Something seems creepy about this but I guess its me.

Nothing to feel creepy about but, I agree he should find his passion. Dad mentioned he is going to chef school.
 
@ thomsongunner06
 
Also, great advice to take him with you and your wife. A lot less stress and IMNSHO, much better chances to find a quality lady this way.
 
Good luck.
 
@Vin
 
Man, tone it down a notch, please.

[Muzh]

My advice is to go enroll in a Russian for foreigners immersion program at a FSU university for three months.


If he willing to live like a FSU student, live in the dorms and take group (rather than individual) lessons it can be less expensive than one might think.


He'll meet tons of young women if he has any game at all.


It would be a great experience even if he didn't meet anyone.

Also, very good advice.
 
And Gator, as always right on the money. Who'd be better to coach the guy than his stepmom. I know my wife would love to help my son IF he would decide to go to UA to look for a wife.

[Ade]

 
This is so wrong from multiple perspectives.  Pardon me, but I will use this as a lesson to show that quick advice such as this is not what the uninitiated need when they come to RWD. 
 
1.  The Maturity of the Young Man - It is apparent that neither of you can appreciate how boot camp and military duty can mold a young man.  Doing it as one of "the few, the proud..." intensifies the experience.  Then add the possible experience of serving against a hostile force, feeling responsible for the life of the man next to you, facing motivated enemy who are trying to kill you, taking the life of others, ....  I assert that the son is not a kid.
 
You should not project yourself (or your sons or your friends when you were young) into the boots of someone whom you know so little about.  I would have agreed with you if you had said the young man is starting a new career and quite possibly may not have the time necessary to advance an international relationship to the point of marriage.  However, you did not say that.
 
2.  What is the Young Man Doing Now -  Just because he is chatting with UW, do you believe he is keeping his trousers on?   He easily could meet someone locally who will make him forget about a trip to Ukraine.
 
3.  What will the Experience do for the Young Man - He is adding to his worldly experiences by communicating with women from a different culture and thinking about whether this makes sense.  And there is the possibility that he could take a vacation with his father and his stepmom.  There he becomes immersed in the Ukrainian culture to a more profound  depth than any 35-yo traveling on his own.  That alone would make this endeavor worth the effort. 
 
4.  What Guidance will the Man Have -  He has a UW stepmom.  Is there a better coach?   If so, please name him/her.   Do you believe that his stepmom will stand idly by while the young man pursues UW?  I imagine that she will participate in Skype calls as an interpretyer.  I assert that she will probe into the mindset of the UW and can sort the wheat from the chaff.  I wager the the young man, his father and his stepmom will have several in-depth discussions along the way.  I believe all of that is ideal, and most of us would have benefited from something similar when we undertook the RW adventure.
 
 
I am an optimistic person, and I think the glass in this case is more than half full, maybe completely full.  The two of you are highly critical and tend to see the glass as half empty.  In this case you said "empty."   
 
Advice such as yours does serve a useful purpose by showing "what could be wrong" so that a person can add it to "what seems right" and make a reasoned decision.  But to suggest this is "creepy" is projecting too much of yourself and not recognizing.... I have said enough.

In my experience, working with young guys after they have served their country in the military, it made little difference to their maturity, at least not as it relates to relationships and readiness to get married. IMO. Perhaps running around and getting shot at in Afghanistan would make a difference though; at least it would help him avoid the shrapnel thrown by a badly chosen wife.

The images in my mind of a UW "coaching" a "mature" ex-marine to get himself a wife are quite hilarious.

Whatever Gator, have it your way, I'm sure he'll survive the experience.

But I just don't understand why he would need to. I mean seriously, have you seen all the incredible young women out there? You know, from English speaking countries that can freely move from country to country without visa issues, without an economic disparity and with options, and are therefore not desperate for a mule? Why would he need to go through all the hassles and worries of going to Ukraine?

[ECOCKS]

1. Sign up on EM to learn the ropes of dealing with FSUW and learning about how they present and approach. If he makes some contacts all well and good, at the least though he's taking a correspondence course on FSUW.

2. Search around your wife's area of the country. When getting ready for the visit, enlist the babushka network and get ready to plug him into his age group over there.

3. Your Marine probably doesn't need his "mommy" but your lovely wife can probably help him filter and identify some good prospects in a new culture. Probably not a bad way for them to develop a better family relationship as well.

Good luck!

[Boethius]

 
This is so wrong from multiple perspectives.  Pardon me, but I will use this as a lesson to show that quick advice such as this is not what the uninitiated need when they come to RWD. 
 
1.  The Maturity of the Young Man - It is apparent that neither of you can appreciate how boot camp and military duty can mold a young man.  Doing it as one of "the few, the proud..." intensifies the experience.  Then add the possible experience of serving against a hostile force, feeling responsible for the life of the man next to you, facing motivated enemy who are trying to kill you, taking the life of others, ....  I assert that the son is not a kid.
 
You should not project yourself (or your sons or your friends when you were young) into the boots of someone whom you know so little about.  I would have agreed with you if you had said the young man is starting a new career and quite possibly may not have the time necessary to advance an international relationship to the point of marriage.  However, you did not say that.
 
2.  What is the Young Man Doing Now -  Just because he is chatting with UW, do you believe he is keeping his trousers on?   He easily could meet someone locally who will make him forget about a trip to Ukraine.
 
3.  What will the Experience do for the Young Man - He is adding to his worldly experiences by communicating with women from a different culture and thinking about whether this makes sense.  And there is the possibility that he could take a vacation with his father and his stepmom.  There he becomes immersed in the Ukrainian culture to a more profound  depth than any 35-yo traveling on his own.  That alone would make this endeavor worth the effort. 
 
4.  What Guidance will the Man Have -  He has a UW stepmom.  Is there a better coach?   If so, please name him/her.   Do you believe that his stepmom will stand idly by while the young man pursues UW?  I imagine that she will participate in Skype calls as an interpretyer.  I assert that she will probe into the mindset of the UW and can sort the wheat from the chaff.  I wager the the young man, his father and his stepmom will have several in-depth discussions along the way.  I believe all of that is ideal, and most of us would have benefited from something similar when we undertook the RW adventure.
 
 
I am an optimistic person, and I think the glass in this case is more than half full, maybe completely full.  The two of you are highly critical and tend to see the glass as half empty.  In this case you said "empty."   
 
Advice such as yours does serve a useful purpose by showing "what could be wrong" so that a person can add it to "what seems right" and make a reasoned decision.  But to suggest this is "creepy" is projecting too much of yourself and not recognizing.... I have said enough.

I said most young men.  However, if you wish to review the divorce stats of those in military service, you will find they are no better, in fact worse than, the average family (partly due to long absences).  Boot camp and service does not equal emotional maturity.

You do not know me, Gator.  I am not a "half empty" type of person.  But, I am a realist.  The reality is, most young men of 24 do not have the emotional maturity to marry.  Going for a trip is an entirely different matter.

I never posted that anything was "creepy", nor is that my belief.
 

[thompsongunner06]

Wow,,I opened a bag of worms,,,Yes he is a U.S. Marine. He starts chef(culinary) college this Sept for 4 years. He will finish that first,,,he can still talk to some girls via Skye if he wants to. As far as possibly flying with us,,sure he can and has flown to Japan on his own. The language would be difficult at airports. I have seen how the customs guys look and treat Americans. My wife does a lot of the talking. The guys don't like us Americans taking "their" women from them. If he has a good time and see my wife's family he might LEARN more of the customs. He will not marry someone tomorow,,he knows it takes time.

[GQBlues]

You should send TurboGuy a PM and get his consensus about how his son took to going there. I realize every individual react differently, but at least you'll get a good perspective from a 'Dad' doing what you're thinking of doing for/to his son. He took his son to Ukraine as he was in the same situation like your son (recent break-up) IINM.
 
Just a thought.
 
Me personally, at 24, I'd rather dive into that bush with millions/billions of eagerly chirping canaries than be standing there holding one in my hand while I watched everyone else have all the fun.
 

[ECOCKS]

So much for making conversation, huh?

I think this is a great idea and am also trying to talk my son into doing the same sort of thing. Time and money are his biggest concerns right now.

Best of luck and you're onto something if you approach it right.

[Gator]

In my experience, working with young guys after they have served their country in the military, it made little difference to their maturity, at least not as it relates to relationships and readiness to get married.

You are jumping to the conclusion that he is eager to get married and that he will ignore the local talent while considering UW. 
 
 

The images in my mind of a UW "coaching" a "mature" ex-marine to get himself a wife are quite hilarious.

 
Please elaborate; I could use a joke after having five double bogeys today, ruining a round with four birdies.