"Why don't you just date an American woman?"

[Boethius]

So call it what it is.  It is not because AW are all fat.  Plus, men looking for FSUW are not, in general, looking for women in their forties or beyond.

[Ade]

So call it what it is.  It is not because AW are all fat.  Plus, men looking for FSUW are not, in general, looking for women in their forties or beyond.

Not only that but if there are more fat men than fat women, the competition for the slimmer ladies should be less. In theory. But let's be honest, it's not just about weight, it's generally more about guys with sexist tendencies, a huge sense of entitlement and, mostly, little mojo to show for it in their home country. All this is of course hidden behind the veil of language and cultural barriers when dating in the FSU... for a little while at least. 

[Daveman]

So call it what it is.  It is not because AW are all fat.  Plus, men looking for FSUW are not, in general, looking for women in their forties or beyond.

Not sure what your point of contention here is.. I DID call it exactly what it is.  I didn't write that they are ALL fat.. I stated that MORE are fat than twenty years ago (proven by statistics), that generally people don't age well (no statistics, but I think I can trust my power of observation on that one), and as your husband correctly noted - some women remove themselves -- so it is safe to infer that the number of very attractive women available for dating is smaller and therefore a much more competitive process manifests as a result.

It is what it is. 

TAG! You're it! 

[missAmeno]

If a woman is not interested in attracting a man, she will not necessarily turn her face into what my husband calls (in reference to FSUW he sees here), "nature morte", she won't dress in four inch heels and short skirts, etc.

...and as your husband correctly noted - some women remove themselves -- so it is safe to infer that the number of very attractive women available for dating is smaller and therefore a much more competitive process manifests as a result.

What women want guys that attracted to them due to four inch heels and short skirts?

Dave, those women dont remove themselves from dating pool, they just dont want to be drown in the shallowness of those guys who hung up on mini skirts. 

[Daveman]

What women want guys that attracted to them due to four inch heels and short skirts?

Dave, those women dont remove themselves from dating pool, they just dont want to be drown in the shallowness of those guys who hung up on mini skirts. 

LoL, so they remove themselves from the dating pool available to "those guys who hung up on mini skirts."   

[pitbull]

What women want guys that attracted to them due to four inch heels and short skirts?

Dave, those women dont remove themselves from dating pool, they just dont want to be drown in the shallowness of those guys who hung up on mini skirts. 

The funny thing is that when the newly arrived RW wives start wearing the customary 100-lawyer make-up, 4-inch hills paired with mini skirts and tight shirts in the US, their husbands tend to tell them to tone down to blend in. Otherwise they look like a pimp and a prostitute for the neighbors.
I have to say, I am very careful with what I wear to work, and always ask my husband if the new purchase for work is too tight/short/sexy. It's better to be underdressed than overdressed if you are to bwe taken seriously in professional circles here.

[missAmeno]

Otherwise they look like a pimp and a prostitute for the neighbors.

 

I stopped wearing high heels together with short skirts in the 1st year living in UK. Each time I attempted to wear them together, after looking in the mirror, I came to conclusion if I get outside dressed like that everyone would read Eastern European женщина легкого поведения on my forehead.

[vwrw]

In my mind, being not interested in finding a husband and attracting men are poorly corelated in Russia. I was not intersted in marring someone until I was 24, yet i was always dressing myself to be appealing to men (with the exception when i was at work). I simply like to feel attractive and when men look on me with interst, i feel excitingly attractive. And i know many RW who feel the same.

Certainly, from my day one in America, i avoided Russian sexy style. From my arrival, i was observing how the women in my new culture were dressing themselves, and then i combind those observations to create my American sexy style which i use each time when i feel i need some reassurance of my attractiveness , and i am certain my behavior has nothing to do with finding a husband. I am happily married.

Some women just love get attention and they will work to be appealing: others feel discomfort because of it or have other ways to please themselves.  Maybe one day when i am in my 50, i also will learn to extract a pleasure from gardening and would care less about if men find me attractive. Though frankly, i hope to be like this women in this video. She enjoys being a magnet, yet something tells me that her being so attractive have nothing to do with finding a husband either.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=FIqHm3hqOIs#!

[alyosha]

I counter your disagree and raise you a partial disagreeing Nuh-Uh! 


It is true that fewer people in their 40's, men or women, want to marry.  I didn't necessarily want to get married again. 


And attractiveness is an issue here.  Which is the *whole* reason many guys go to the FSU.  There are fewer very attractive women here than say, 20 years ago.   People have become fatter, AND our selection pool has become older... many do not age well.  Sure, some do, but the "attractiveness" of the peer group has decreased. So, if a man wants a very physically attractive woman he has to compete for the few who have aged well, or go younger and compete with the younger men, or go somewhere else.

I think I've notice that people in FSU look to be less aged than people in the USA.   Intense sunlight in the USA ages our peoples skin faster. 

[alyosha]

Alyosha,
The majority of people do act normal in their daily life, and they do get partners this way, sooner or later. This is a normal behaviour for people, and it works for many people to a larger or lesser extent.
Men and women who look abroad however want more and better than what the local supply can offer them. Women in the FSU live in the society that tend to be very particular about many things, especially in the genders roles. They have a rather limited time of their lives in order to be deemed competitive on the dating market. If they find a way to get to the West, they inevitably will notice that their value on the dating market is different here. That's why it is in the woman's interest to get to the West if she wants to have a choice of men.
The same way works for the Western men. Life in the West is arranged the way that a number of local women are not that attractive, and men do not have enough choice, at least in comparison to what is available in the FSU in terms of gender relations. There might be many reasons for that, but let's just deal with what we have as a result. Men have to compete for attractive women in the West, the burden is on them, often not on the woman, to demonstrate his best features and to outcompete the other men.
It is not hard to notice this balance. Attractive women have an upper hand in the West, attractive men have the upper hand in the FSU. It is this simple, to put it generally.

I don't know the exact statistics, but in FSU I understand during the stress in the years just before and after 1991 a lot of men died.  In America we were told Russian men's life expectancy dropped to 57 years.  That could explain a shortage of men in FSU.
In America I think women are more picky because the welfare state replaces the lower class women's need for a provider.
For middle and upper class women government enforced employment preferences for woman probably makes educated women more picky about marriage.
Thirdly in America a lot of men divorce their wives at about age 45 and marry younger women.
That makes women under 40 in short supply.
Fourthly in America the media down plays the importance of marriage.  I don't think you have that in FSU.  I understand the Russian government even pays couples to have children.
Eventally I may try to find what in the US we call a surrogate mother, but I will have to be able to find a wife here first and my dissident activity has put me in a real bind that is too complicated to go into.  One famous young political commentator mysteriously died suddenly this year of a "heart attack" at age 43.  Dissent can be dangerous.
And as to my negatives, the big one is I'm congenitally shy.  Shy to a degree you wouldn't believe.

[ML]

I think I've notice that people in FSU look to be less aged than people in the USA.   Intense sunlight in the USA ages our peoples skin faster.

You are 180 degrees out of whack here.

[GregfromGa]

You are 180 degrees out of whack here.

Me thinks as well.

[alyosha]

I stopped wearing high heels together with short skirts in the 1st year living in UK. Each time I attempted to wear them together, after looking in the mirror, I came to conclusion if I get outside dressed like that everyone would read Eastern European женщина легкого поведения on my forehead.

I can't read the cryillic but I understand enough to get a good laugh.   :-)  Prazem

[alyosha]

You are 180 degrees out of whack here.

  You live where in Washington state??
I live in Florida, they tell us the sun will give us skin cancer and damage our looks as well.  I've known several people here who have skin cancers. That's why farm women here in the south get leathery looking skin by age 50.
It's mostly when your skin is young and tender that you get sun damage.  If you are over 25 before getting exposed you will not have a problem.  That's why all the Southern Bells in "Gone With the Wind" carried parasols.


I think the first thing I noticed was the old Russian WWII vets they showed on TV ten years ago looked a heck of a lot younger than you'd think.
Also when I first arrived in Berlin in February from training in Georgia, my first thought was all the guys in the Berlin garrison had pale and pink rosy colored skin like babies.
To me they actually looked like over sized babies. :-)

[Anotherkiwi]

...If you are over 25 before getting exposed you will not have a problem...

Utter rubbish!  Coming from the part of the world which has the highest incidence of melanoma and other skin cancers, I can categorically refute that.  I know several people who have been affected in their 40s and 50s.  I/O and Kuna, who both live in Queensland (with the absolute No 1 rating), will back me up.

[alyosha]

Quote from AnotherKiwi:

"Utter rubbish!  Coming from the part of the world which has the highest incidence of melanoma and other skin cancers, I can categorically refute that.  I know several people who have been affected in their 40s and 50s.  I/O and Kuna, who both live in Queensland (with the absolute No 1 rating), will back me up."



I've always read that the most damage is done when you are younger.
You likely won't get cancer until you are past 45 any way. 
The cases I know of personally were four people who were born in Florida, one in Louisiana and one who spent his childhood in Southern California.
I know no one who was born outside the South and got skin cancer.
My ancedotal experience backs up what the doctors say.  Most of your later life problems comes from exposure in your childhood and teenage years.
It's pretty much like everything else dangerous in your environment, children are the most vulnerable.
Give it a rest man, you talk like that and we're all gonna die bachelors! :-)

NOTE MOST PEOPLE WHO GREW UP IN THE SOUTH DON"T HAVE THESE PROBLEM AND 98% of cases are NOT SERIOUS.
And I'll buy my blushing bride a van load of parasols!!!

[Boethius]

According to what I've read, sun damage in childhood doubles the risk of melanoma.  That doesn't mean the sun can't cause damage later, just that your risk is increased if you have had sunburns as a child.

[Chemist]

Dating AW would be fine if that was my goal.  But I wish to get married and it's becoming a dying institution in the US.

Marriage is my goal so after a few years of trying to date in the US after my divorce with an AW, I decided to go to a place where women are looking to get married and aren't ashamed to be admitting that fact.  The FSU became one of those places for me because the FSUW do a much better job of marketing themselves than the AW do.  Try to compare profiles on a American dating website with those on a FSUW site.  See the difference?

It was enough to make me curious, at least.  Once I made a few trips, I came to the conclusion that dating is simply more enjoyable in the FSU than the US so I'll likely never go back to dating AW.

[erikmagenta]

Dating AW would be fine if that was my goal.  But I wish to get married and it's becoming a dying institution in the US.

Marriage is my goal so after a few years of trying to date in the US after my divorce with an AW, I decided to go to a place where women are looking to get married and aren't ashamed to be admitting that fact.  The FSU became one of those places for me because the FSUW do a much better job of marketing themselves than the AW do.  Try to compare profiles on a American dating website with those on a FSUW site.  See the difference?

It was enough to make me curious, at least.  Once I made a few trips, I came to the conclusion that dating is simply more enjoyable in the FSU than the US so I'll likely never go back to dating AW.

Understatement of the century.  If, and that is a gigantic if, an AW is anywhere near the hotness level which I seek, you hear 100 different reasons why she cannot go out with you until the 12th of never.  Russian Ukrainian women are more slender, more fashionable by 10,000 times, hotter and say why not?  Let's do it!!  It's just that easy.  It's a world economy, and soon that will include more and more men saying enough is enough.  Boring "feminist" American women who think they can wait until they are 40 years old and "fulfilled" before getting married are on the way out.  They will be dinasours!!

[BC]

It was enough to make me curious, at least.  Once I made a few trips, I came to the conclusion that dating is simply more enjoyable in the FSU than the US so I'll likely never go back to dating AW.

Pretty expensive and time consuming though....

In your shoes I would continue dating at home.

There are always women around that are dating material.. I don't buy into the whole feminazi deal.  I think one has to look pretty deep to find out what it is that will not allow you to attract the women you want.

Is it age?
Is it looks?
Is it money?

Don't think FSUW are looking for anything less than a woman would in the US, especially if she starts to reorient herself in new surroundings, which is quite normal btw...

'Too good to be true...'  There is a lot of common sense in that.

[Turboguy]

Don't think FSUW are looking for anything less than a woman would in the US, especially if she starts to reorient herself in new surroundings, which is quite normal btw...

I would agree they are not looking for less but I do think the priorities are different.  I think looks are more important to AW and within reason less important to an FSU woman.  I think inner qualities and financial stability are more important to an FSU woman and less important to AW.  In the USA a hunk who is an auto mechanic or a pizza delivery person will find lots of interest in the oppoisite sex.  A corporate executive who is a little nerdy will spend a lot of Saturday nights alone but probably will do well with FSU women.  FSU women value a secure man who treats them well and has good inner qualities.  AW are quite accepting of a handsome hunk who has little going for them and treats them like crap.  Most RW won't take a lot of crap from anyone.

[TheTraveler]

I would agree they are not looking for less but I do think the priorities are different.  I think looks are more important to AW and within reason less important to an FSU woman.  I think inner qualities and financial stability are more important to an FSU woman and less important to AW.  In the USA a hunk who is an auto mechanic or a pizza delivery person will find lots of interest in the oppoisite sex.  A corporate executive who is a little nerdy will spend a lot of Saturday nights alone but probably will do well with FSU women.  FSU women value a secure man who treats them well and has good inner qualities.  AW are quite accepting of a handsome hunk who has little going for them and treats them like crap.  Most RW won't take a lot of crap from anyone.

enjoying your posts immensely!

keep 'em coming, braugh!

[TheTraveler]

In America I think women are more picky because the welfare state replaces the lower class women's need for a provider.

For middle and upper class women government enforced employment preferences for woman probably makes educated women more picky about marriage.

interesting points, alyosha.

[Chemist]

Pretty expensive and time consuming though....

In your shoes I would continue dating at home.

That won't be likely.

If it's one thing I've learned is that finding a wife, particularly a foreign one, is that it's a huge commitment that can't be done half-assed.  A trip to the FSU from America requires significant planning and the use of a limited amount of vacation time.  An AM who is dating at home will never end up on the plane to the FSU because he'll always be wondering how is current dating prospect will turn out and end up putting the trip on hold repeatedly.  In which case, it isn't fair to the FSUW he would be corresponding with and it would be better that he not even start the endeavor.

Yes, it's more expensive and time consuming, but if the venue is much more enjoyable, then the value is priceless.

[IAmZon]

I think inner qualities and financial stability are more important to an FSU woman and less important to AW.

Yes, but!

There is clearly an "auction mentality" at work with very attractive women (and men) in modern, first world cities - and to a lesser extend third world cities too).   The prize goes to the highest bidder (I am not just talking about money, but that can be a big part of it).

I have seen well-intentioned women come the the USA from Russia (apparently in love and hoping for the best).  The first year is always difficult.  After the transition, a very young and attractive woman can find herself in a relationship where the gloss has worn  thin, and in a situation where she did not get the highest price possible.  Women who are looking for a foreign husband and have the courage to act, and re-locate, are by definition ambitious.  Thus, the seeds of problems can be in the motivation for the initial meeting.

This is why I think it is enormously dangerous for a guy to go out of age and league with a 18 - 28 year old woman.   Ice cube's chance in hell, I think.

ON THE OTHER HAND, it is possible for a RW to be happy in a "prosperous life" (financially speaking) in the middle class / upper middle class income range.  If there is a real relationship you do not have to be a millionaire to buy the girl of your dreams.