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Author Topic: Is she a scammer? My story and need advice  (Read 14612 times)

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Offline BC

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Re: Is she a scammer? My story and need advice
« Reply #25 on: August 25, 2011, 12:44:40 AM »
I guess opinions vary and there is a chance that she is honest. I'm going to take chances and meet her. There is nothing to lose except few hundreds dollars which is manageable with my savings and worth the shot.


Maxnin,

Unless a FSUW suddenly drops in your lap it seems it's a needle in haystack type scenario.  Sure, get your feet wet but keep expectations extremely low.  Expect to get scammed and if you do just chuckle and move on.  Be pleasantly surprised if you find anything real behind the facade.

At this point you are nothing but penpals with a good chance there is little or no true interest. 

I've heard it said time and time again...  'It all means absolutely nothing until you meet face to face.'

Offline Gator

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Re: Is she a scammer? My story and need advice
« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2011, 05:55:23 AM »
I guess opinions vary and there is a chance that she is honest. I'm going to take chances and meet her. There is nothing to lose except few hundreds dollars .....

...and waste your time, perhaps leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
 
You have decided to go, and with preparation and the proper attitude) you will enjoy the experience one way or the other.  Ukraine is a fascinating place for anyone with a sense of adventure.
 
You are correct that your relatively young age will give you a fighting chance.   Neverthless, be prepared for a Professional Dater if she meets you for more than an hour and does not do a bait and switch.
 
-  Do not buy her anything, not even shampoo, until the third day and only then if everything is looking good, really good with no questions.

-  One nice restaurant is good, but not every day.

-  You do not need a personal driver/car (use public transportation and remark that you do not care if it takes longer because you will be with her)

-  A full-time interpreter is unnecessary, and if she insists, tell her that you want to see how the two of you relate with no help with communication
   (most interpreters do not join you in bed  ;) )(if you have time, purchase an electronic translator).

-  Be totally convinced of her sincerity if you keep spending time with her (no red flags such as the above, no persistent yellow flags).
 
I say this because sincere women typically have a frugal attitude even if that is not their true nature.
 
There have been a few trip reports by members who spent time with a professional dater.  Read those.  I seem to recall  Handycam ??? writing such a T/R on his first trip; and he learned a lot from those mistakles and is now a seasoned veteran of multiple trips knowing what to do.

Offline Muzh

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Re: Is she a scammer? My story and need advice
« Reply #27 on: August 25, 2011, 06:05:26 AM »

...and waste your time, perhaps leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
 
You have decided to go, and with preparation and the proper attitude) you will enjoy the experience one way or the other.  Ukraine is a fascinating place for anyone with a sense of adventure.
 
You are correct that your relatively young age will give you a fighting chance.   Neverthless, be prepared for a Professional Dater if she meets you for more than an hour and does not do a bait and switch.
 
-  Do not buy her anything, not even shampoo, until the third day and only then if everything is looking good, really good with no questions.

-  One nice restaurant is good, but not every day.

-  You do not need a personal driver/car (use public transportation and remark that you do not care if it takes longer because you will be with her)

-  A full-time interpreter is unnecessary, and if she insists, tell her that you want to see how the two of you relate with no help with communication
   (most interpreters do not join you in bed  ;) )(if you have time, purchase an electronic translator).

-  Be totally convinced of her sincerity if you keep spending time with her (no red flags such as the above, no persistent yellow flags).
 
I say this because sincere women typically have a frugal attitude even if that is not their true nature.
 
There have been a few trip reports by members who spent time with a professional dater.  Read those.  I seem to recall  Handycam ??? writing such a T/R on his first trip; and he learned a lot from those mistakles and is now a seasoned veteran of multiple trips knowing what to do.

I'll go a step further.
 
IF she asks you for anything of the above (i.e., taxi, restaurant, interpreter, etc) she's playing you. Get a quickie if you are so inclined (and she 'wants') and move on.
 
If she doesn't ask for anything, then she is scouting you. Be smart how you play it.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Is she a scammer? My story and need advice
« Reply #28 on: August 25, 2011, 09:32:47 PM »
I guess opinions vary and there is a chance that she is honest. I'm going to take chances and meet her. There is nothing to lose except few hundreds dollars which is manageable with my savings and worth the shot.


Not really. I didn't see anyone mention to you this woman is serious. You are listening and only hearing what you want to hear. This is a handicap many of those sucked into the agency hype experience. You are your own worst enemy and can't see the forest for the trees.

Quote
She couldn't give me her contact information because that against the agency's policy. She told me that she talks to other men online but never met anyone because none of them are young, near her age range, nor are they serious with their venture. I think the odds are she is an honest person who is looking for a husband by using the agency's means.


You've been paying money to communicate and you feel you are communicating enough to visit. Wrong, it's not time to visit until you have been communicating without payment and 3rd party. If she were truly interested in you, you would have broken away from the agency in short order or at least before going to see her. Obviously, she's not really into you and you don't know the difference.


I usually encourage guys to get on and go as soon as possible. However, it appears to me you should wait and start over  ;)

« Last Edit: August 25, 2011, 09:36:24 PM by Faux Pas »

 

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