He will change and start beating you! You can't adopt to the USA mentality!

[Jumper]

 
 
yes,  resistence is futile

[acctBill]

This is where being able to speak Russian is a big advantage.  If you can communicate effectively with your wife to be and her family there will, hopefully, be less stress leading up to the marriage.  As for being able to adjust to life outside of Russia her family members should realize that there are literally millions of Russian born citizens living quite happily in Europe.  It really can't be much different from living in the US.   

[I/O]

It really can't be much different from living in the US.

Lol, tempting, very tempting but I'd better let it pass.

[Manny]

As for being able to adjust to life outside of Russia her family members should realize that there are literally millions of Russian born citizens living quite happily in Europe.  It really can't be much different from living in the US.

Europe is not much different to the US? 

[ECOCKS]

... As for being able to adjust to life outside of Russia her family members should realize that there are literally millions of Russian born citizens living quite happily in Europe.  It really can't be much different from living in the US.

To say nothing of the few who have immigrated over the last century or so and are already living in the US....

[Eduard]

I wasn't aware his services extended to "overseeing marriages"? I've been under the impression that once he hooks two people up and after the first trip he ususally exits stage left, other than perhaps attending the occasional wedding which would seem fairly logical to me, no?

You are correct, I/O
A lot of guys take over and do the rest on their own after the first trip is over. Some consult me on things others keep it private and just let me know when they are getting married or are married already. This particular client is a private person and was in touch only occasionally. I knew that he went for 4 weeks the second time and met her parents, knew the details about that, then we didn't talk for  a while.
His girl told me that she has seen a lot of propaganda and horror stories on TV about women who married foreigners and she was a bit concerned. probably her cousins were also exposed to that and feel very pessimistic ab0ut marriage to a foreigner.  The city where she lives is an "out of the way" place where hardly any women married WM so unlike other places where women know some one personally who married a WM, these people only know what they see on TV.
Actually although I had clients in the past who went through something similar but not to this degree. From what he  told me she was really stressed by all the negative comments coming from a couple of her cousins and some of the friends. 

[GQBlues]

...As for being able to adjust to life outside of Russia her family members should realize that there are literally millions of Russian born citizens living quite happily in Europe.  It really can't be much different from living in the US.

Huge difference. Especially lately. Generally, Europeans bow to their leaders and royalties. In the US, our leader bow to European leaders and royalties and pretty much anywhere else...

[I/O]

The city where she lives is an "out of the way" place

Is this the Irkutsk connection? Let me know, I've been there a time or two but more recently an exchange student from Irkutsk was here at our local Uni for several months during last year, she and Mrs I/O bumped into each other in a supermarket IIRC and hit it off pretty well. She often had dinner or whatever with us (not half hot either BTW, big........ah slap me, the young neighbour almost lost his doogs over her).
 
I might be able to join some dots so the lassie can discuss the axe murdering characteristics of foreign husbands with someone local who's actually met one of the feared breed, namely me and a few other Au-Ru couples here she was introduced to.

[I/O]

In the US, our leader bow to European leaders and royalties and pretty much anywhere else...

Methinks the bald eagle is slowly being plucked by the dragon.

[Eduard]

 
yes,  resistence is futile

I see we got a treky in the house!

[SANDRO43]

I think Ed's title is a quote of friends/relatives.

Ah, so that explains its mangled second part:

...You can't adopt ADAPT to the USA mentality!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt8PDTUNyPE[/youtube]

[Misha]

But this constant stream of negative remarks like: "He will change once you marry him and will start beating you! You will never be able to adjust to life in the USA, they are so different, the mentality is so different, you will feel alone and miserable, etc. etc."

My uncles told my wife's mother that she (the mother) should not allow her daughter to go to Canada. Of course, my wife was warned by relatives and co-workers about all the dangers of sex slavery. My wife, however, ignored it and basically told her uncles to shut up and get out....

[Eduard]

My uncles told my wife's mother that she (the mother) should not allow her daughter to go to Canada. Of course, my wife was warned by relatives and co-workers about all the dangers of sex slavery. My wife, however, ignored it and basically told her uncles to shut up and get out....

and now you are her sex slave, Misha? 

[Eduard]

Ah, so that explains its mangled second part:

...You can't adopt ADAPT to the USA mentality!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt8PDTUNyPE[/youtube]

Grazie mille, Sandro, yes I did mean adapt. maybe a mod could fix that?

[CanadaMan]

Hubby and I decided to marry within two weeks of our meeting.

Where did you meet your hubby Boethius?

[acctBill]

Huge difference. Especially lately. Generally, Europeans bow to their leaders and royalties. In the US, our leader bow to European leaders and royalties and pretty much anywhere else...

In Europe we tend to bow to our royalty as part of the national heritage.  The royal families of the UK, the Netherlands, Denmark for example are part of the national history of their respective countries.  In some ways this makes Russia far closer to Europeans to Americans.  After all most of the royal families of Europe are related to each other, even the British royal family has connections to Russia.  Queen Victoria's granddaughter, Alexandra, became Empress of Russia, when she married Nicholas II, Emperor of All the Russias.

Brits and other Europeans certainly don't bow to their political leaders.  Curse them, protest, riot, yes, bow no.  Americans think that their politicians have cornered the market on political turmoil.  They're amateurs compared to what the politicians in most European countries do.
   

[GoodOlBoy]

I don't see this as the crabs in the bucket scenario.

I am not so sure about that FP. 
 
Marina had a similar story to tell me, but she didn't let this little gem out until months after she arrived here in the GoodOl' USA and we were married and IIRC after the consumption of 2 bottles of Perrier Jouet (champagnski). 
 
 
Note to Newbies....Never underestimate the importance/influence of your fiancees friends (relatives go without saying).
 
GOB

[Boethius]

Where did you meet your hubby Boethius?

Walking down the street.

[JR]

You can't change what you don't know

[Muzh]

The naysaying friends and cousins are well meaning. I don't see this as the crabs in the bucket scenario.
 

FP, I'll disagree here. It has been my experience, and my wife was the one who brought it to my attention, that there are always a group of envious sort who will try to poison the well at all costs; family members included.
 
 

If little to no relationship exists in the first place, she is likely going to heed their advices. Adversely, if they have formed a good relationship, nothing the naysayers can say will change her mind.
 

Bingo! As a matter of fact, the naysayers have a choice, eat crow or go away. AND since she will marry a WM and WM are always so generous (stupid is more like it) he may be generous to them. (This is NOT my opinion but what I've heard)

As with most questions/threads it is all about the relationship. The good ones have a 50% survival rate. The bad ones, not so much.
 

Absolutely

[Muzh]

I don't think people should be considering marriage after just 2 trips/visits. Maybe I'm the one who is odd.

Vin bud, count me as one of the exceptions.

[Muzh]

And this is they guy that only met one Russian woman?  And is going to marry the first and only Russian woman he ever met after two visits?

Hey Jack, you too can consider me an exception.

[Muzh]

I’m not changing your story Ed, just telling you the way I see it. Here is the walkthrough…..


Your client meet this lady twice and they agree to get married with her going to the States to live. This is a big big upheaval for both parties. With just a few weeks to go before their wedding she is darkening his doorstep with comments about the possibility he might be very different once she arrives on his home soil and comments such as “he will change once you marry him and will start beating you!” have been aired by friends/cousins.


As this situation is “putting a damper on the happiness of the moment” I’m of the conclusion that more than one friend/cousin has said this or else why would she even relay it to your client as it will cause stress, obviously.


My conclusion from what you have told us is that because she doesn't really know this guy the seeds of doubt have been set by people who admittedly have never even met him. More importantly, your client has failed miserably to communicate to her that he isn’t a wife beater, hence the situation existing as you described.


Whether you accept it or not it would appear that she is concerned.

I see it slightly different. She may be testing him to see his reaction. Show mw a woman that has never "tested" her significant other.
 
As FP mentioned above, IF* they both are at ease with each other she will eventually ignore these comments. OR she wants to see what is going to be his reaction.
 
Ed, I'm surprised you have not clued him on this, after all, you were born there. Or is it that you have no clue how to read a woman?
 
(*IF my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a bicycle.)

[Eduard]

Hey Jack, you too can consider me an exception.

hey guys, I really don't care to read jack's idiotic and ignorant remarks! I have him and Manny on "Ignore" so do me a huge favor and don't quote them. Sadly they both have an agenda and anything they say has to be viewed with a grain of salt.
I thank you guys in advance!

[Muzh]

She puts up with what she chooses to put up with.  She can tell them to shut up. She can stay away from them.  Her choice.

Absolutely. My take is she is 'sort of' playing games with him. I can tell you this, IF* this woman is really, really into him, the naysayers' opinion will count for beans.