Are there any success stories?

[charlieninerzero]

Yeah Im new here and have been reading message boards about FSU and Latin Women for about a month.  I have also been looking into FSU women on Marriage sites for about a year.  My story is I have been scammed by American Women.  My first fiance I new from high school.  She dropped me and married some else a week later.  My current wife of 10 years has been having an affair for about 8 of them and is still having the affair.  My problem is I don't want to loose the kids.  Anyways, I have been detaching from the wife for about a year now and think now is the time to part ways. I am in process of buying a house and followed by separation/divorce.   Which leads me to the present.  I am interested in a Russian Wife.  This message board has put reality into my endeavor.  Are there any success stories?

[Admin]

Yeah Im new here and have been reading message boards about FSU and Latin Women for about a month. I have also been looking into FSU women on Marriage sites for about a year. My story is I have been scammed by American Women. My first fiance I new from high school. She dropped me and married some else a week later. My current wife of 10 years has been having an affair for about 8 of them and is still having the affair. My problem is I don't want to loose the kids. Anyways, I have been detaching from the wife for about a year now and think now is the time to part ways. I am in process of buying a house and followed by separation/divorce.  Which leads me to the present. I am interested in a Russian Wife. This message board has put reality into my endeavor. Are there any success stories?

Reality is a good thing - and you should be able to find numerous "success stories" here - but to a large extent, it depends on what you call "success."

First, I would encourage you to really look closely at your present life circumstances - and make absolutely certain you are really ready to begin this endeavor. In most failed marriages, I seem to recall the suggestion that there is a bare minimum of one year AFTER the divorce before someone is ready to engage in another relationship. Not to say that is what actually happens - but those who jump in too quickly, seem not to enjoy the same "success" as those who are more deliberate and introspective about their situations. You have the added pressures of dealing with betrayals. Be sure you are not doing this simply as a palliative.

You also have some legal issues to contend with - if I understand correctly. With the latest IMBRA legislation - this may also severaly impede your ability to engage in this pursuit even if you are ready emotionally.

I do not mean to put you off - just inviting you to do some serious reflection to be sure your house is in order before you dive in too deep. Gathering information is a great idea. Making mental preparations and determining if this is something you want to do - later. Also good things.

For "success stories" - suggest you consider the posts of KenC, catzenmouse, jb, Leslie, Vaughn, ConnerVT - gosh, there are MANY more here. Well, those should get you started.

Good luck!

- Dan

[catzenmouse]

charlieninerzero,

 Dan has given you some good advice here. Of course, we don't know your situation but if you are still married then ending that situation and getting the other legal issues taken care of would seem to be the first priority here. As for losing the kids, if you have a good relationship with them now then you will in all likelihood be able to keep that part of it going.

 Say you go to the FSU and meet someone you like and who likes you. You get to know each other and decide that you want to make it permanent. In order to file the K1 Fiance Visa you will need to be divorced and show that you have the financial means to support this person as well. The K1 is the easiest part of this whole thing. Dealing with all of the other USCIS "stuff" along with the changes that she will be going through can be big and ugly at times. Don't get too far into this until you have the past garbage taken out.

 For what it's worth,

 Ken

[charlieninerzero]

Dan / Ken,  
Thank you for the advice. Showing that the financial means to support this person is something I was not aware of. I do have a degree in Electrical Engineering and 12 years with large communication company. The financial is something I can possibly pass.

I really like your advice on patience and cleaning my house before starting this endeavor. Something I need to hear and the more the better. My understanding is it take 6 months in my town for the divorce paperwork to complete. However based on what I hear and believe myself I should take a year of getting used to things before starting a new romance. For many reasons. I am considering taking Russian this fall and spring at a community college before making any trips.

I have a friend with a bride from Malaysia. Very successful too. I have also met a Russian Lady who, Ironically, worked with my wife. Very nice and pretty woman. It was actually these two incidences that I am here. Somehow the thought of this give me hope and strength through my current ordeal. I hope to be here next spring posting about a trip.

Anyhow thanks for the references of success.  

CharlieNinerZero
Department of Redundancy - Department

editted to add line spacing between paragraphs.

[Admin]

Good comments Charlie.

Re: Malaysia. One of my favorite countries anywhere. I grew VERY close to a young woman there some years back, and we remain in loose contact even now. She was incredibly dainty and feminine - and had extraordinary features. Her Mom was Chinese and her Dad was Malay - and somehow the mixing, in her case at least, resulted in a stunning beauty.

I like Malaysia for other reasons as well - the food - the islands - the people in general.

Ah well - that took me back. Thanks.

As for your post - you know what they say about the 7 P's - right? Now is the time to start all the planning - while keeping your eye on the ball with your divorce and especially your kids. Don't lose sight of the REALLY important stuff, just to pursue what - at this time, anyway - is merely illusory.

FWIW

- Dan

[BC]

Charlie,

Dan gives some great advice.

The only thing that I can add is that you should concentrate on maintaining stability in your childrens' lives.. even if living apart they need your shoulder to lean on now more than ever.  Distractions can have far reaching effects.

Keep ego in check and priorities straight.. you will do just fine.

All will come in good time.

[Son of Clyde]

I am becoming a success story so maybe I can help if the others don't laugh or sneer at this proposition. :cool:

I was thought at once as being a guy who was clueless and would not succeed.

Maybe 6 months of marriage does not a success story make but consider it a learning process between two very different personalities.

[catzenmouse]

SoC,

 If you are happy and she is happy then you ARE a success.

Ken

[charlieninerzero]

I am glad to see success stories.  I have read about warnings, things to  watch-out for, Green Card Girls, etc….    The message board is really good to bring a real perspective to meeting  Russian Ladies.  I was not sure if what  the Services were saying is true or not.
       
      Planning for good Performance   If this is my path I would really like to be  efficient about it.  Funny using the word  efficient to describe meeting a woman from any country.  I like to tackle the impossible.
       
      I have thought about if the MOB could influence my domestic  decision.  It certainly adds  comfort.  My situation is my wife is  having a long term affair and will not stop.   When I bring it up I can hardly get a word in without her saying she  wants a separation.  She will not admit  or come clean without hard proof.  When  we make up she says she will "Work On It"   and it was a "Moment of Weakness."   Which is what the God Father told his wife.  We know how that ended.  I've been trying to work it out with her for  14 months with no change other than I am more emotionally equipped to handle a  divorce.  So yes the MOB does influence a  little but then I step back and ask myself.   Why am I about to seek divorce?   The answer always come back to:   My wife is having an affair that she is unwilling to stop having.  The MOB is something I am investigating and  very likely to pursue. 
       
      Thanks for the advice about the children.  Their stability is my main concern.  It's taken me over a year to come to terms  with a separation.  I won't roll over and  give them up.  This should stay out of  the court systems and hopefully resolve in 7 or 8 months.   Thanks for the comment about a good relation  will continue.  I have a very good  relationship with them.  I am practically  Mr. Mom.
         

[Admin]

I am glad to see success stories. I have read about warnings, things to  watch-out for, Green Card Girls, etc….  The message board is really good to bring a real perspective to meeting  Russian Ladies. I was not sure if what  the Services were saying is true or not.
     
      Planning for good Performance If this is my path I would really like to be  efficient about it. Funny using the word  efficient to describe meeting a woman from any country. I like to tackle the impossible.
     
      I have thought about if the MOB could influence my domestic  decision. It certainly adds  comfort. My situation is my wife is  having a long term affair and will not stop.  When I bring it up I can hardly get a word in without her saying she  wants a separation. She will not admit  or come clean without hard proof. When  we make up she says she will "Work On It"  and it was a "Moment of Weakness."  Which is what the God Father told his wife. We know how that ended. I've been trying to work it out with her for  14 months with no change other than I am more emotionally equipped to handle a  divorce. So yes the MOB does influence a  little but then I step back and ask myself.  Why am I about to seek divorce?  The answer always come back to:  My wife is having an affair that she is unwilling to stop having. The MOB is something I am investigating and  very likely to pursue.
     
      Thanks for the advice about the children. Their stability is my main concern. It's taken me over a year to come to terms  with a separation. I won't roll over and  give them up. This should stay out of  the court systems and hopefully resolve in 7 or 8 months. Thanks for the comment about a good relation  will continue. I have a very good  relationship with them. I am practically  Mr. Mom.
       

I've sent you a PM.

- Dan

[Jet]

The best thing you can do at this point is keep your priorities straight as the others have mentioned. However, in your SPARE time, do what you can to educate yourself. Read what's written here, but also read what you can find elsewhere (there is plenty of it out there), from good sources and bad. Soon enough you'll find you are able to tell the difference on your own - most of the journey is common sense - but any mariner or aviator will tell you "Never trust all your navigation to a single instrument."  Also try to remember that this ISN'T a race! Take your time to find the right woman and you'll be rewarded beyond current comprehension once she's here sharing your life. Hurry through the process to get a replacement wife here ASAP and you'll wish you never started this endevour (more than likely).



Success? Dunno.....But married for 2 1/2 yrs and it's getting better all the time :cool:

[Vaughn]

Excellent advice all around. I was separated in 1994, divorced in 1995, with two young daughters (4 and hanging in the balance. Their very sense of security was constantly tested; well into my 40's and out of the dating scene for two decades, I dated around and through the advice of friends, kept my personal affairs very discrete. I learned early on to refrain from bad-mouthing my ex-wife in the presence of the kids. FWIW, I read and put into practice the principles outlined in Mom's House / Dad's House - Making Shared Custody Work by Isolina Ricci. In short I urge you to slow down. As Jet suggested, this is no race - and at the stage you're in, there's always the danger, like it or not, of falling into a rebound marriage - the very worst and most unfulfilling kind. It happened to me in 1996, a 9 week marriage, all because I couldn't wait and insisted on denying myself and the children more time.

I met my Russian wife in 2001. Tomorrow is our third anniversary, and we are just now beginning to really enjoy our life together. Notice that gap - from 1996 to 2001, a full five years. That span allowed me to regroup, my children to realize the stability that had been ripped away from them. That time gap enabled me to strengthen my character and discernment - all that while (and unbeknownst to me) preparing me to successfully embark on the journey of my life - my life with my Russian wife.

Don't rush into this. You've got plenty of upheaval to deal with at the present time.

Vaughn

 

[Todd]

I'm constantly amazed by how great Kate is.  I haven't had a moment of doubt since I decided to propose to her on Oct 31 2004.  We have been married for about 6 months as well.

If you are considering going down this route, I would recommend learning more about Russia or where you might want to go in Russia.  I actually didn't go into this looking for a bride.  I was looking to travel to an interesting country that I had read and studied so much about growing up.  Of course, I was also meeting a friend that I had made over the internet, but neither she nor I had any expectations...except to have an enjoyable couple of weeks together travelling throughout her country.

The other figure that I've heard thrown around is that from beginning to end, this process will cost $50 K if you are successful.  (From when you start the process until the time when she can support herself in the US.)  I would say that for me it was significantly less as Kate wasn't interested in a large wedding, and I only took 4 trips to the region...one of which was paid for by my Saudi client (I exchanged my business class ticket for coach to Jeddah.) 

Finally, depending on who you choose, there will be a great deal of stress when she comes to this country.  You have to be in a place that you can support her.  However, I found Kate to be fun from day one.  She says that we laugh more than any of her other married friends.

Good luck...

Todd

[KenC]

Charlie,

You have already received a lot of very good advice here from a great group of guys.  (Another reason I hang out here!)  I have to admit that when I first read your post, I thought oh oh, here is a guy that is shopping for a replacement wife.  I am glad that you gave us more information that you are not doing so.

You have more on your plate than you now realize.  The next few years are going to be an emotional roller coster for you, your future exwife and unfortunately, your children.  A book that helped me through the trauma of divorcing my cheating wife of 21 years was "Crazy Time-Surviving divorce and building a new life" by Abigail Trafford.  It really explains the emotions that everyone involved will be experiencing through out the divorce process which takes a lot of mystery out of it.  You can almost anticipate how everyone (including yourself) will react and why.

It is important that you set your priorities in order for the divorce process.  Of course, your childrens welfare should be at the top of that list.  If in the midst of all that you have to do to become unmarried, you find the time to educate yourself on Russia and it's fine women, then so be it.  I like that you are thinking about learning Russian because it shows that you are in it for the long term.  I will caution you, however, not to even start any relationship of any kind with a RW until your divorce is final.  I don't know how you could resist looking through profiles until then, but at least try.

KenC

(Married for 8 years this summer to a fine Ruskie woman)

((Once you "go" Russian, you will never again settle for anything less))

[Preston]

Good advice Dan

My wife and I been married for 4 years or going 4! Our 1rst year was a rough one but were here now and doing very good! I also have afriend interested in going with us this summer to Ukraine and wants to find a Ukraine lady! Its funny when I went I didn't mesh with any of the ladies I wrote and only 3 of them showed up! My wife I met at her work and stars started to fly! I knew she was the right one! Best advice I can give and yet I'm younger then most of the people on this board is really make sure you got your ducks in a row and yes children come 1rst then make sure thats what you really want! I personaly would have not done it any different! A good friend which has been married to a Ukrainian women for 9 years help me and advised me through my trip and before! He told me before I left, Befair to yourself and to the lady! I wasn't sure what he met by that but I know now! All three ladies I met were just BEAUTIFUL!! and could of married all three but you know when you meet that right person! Anyways thats my opion!!

 

[Muj]

Charlie,

The divorce and concern for your kids are quite a strain.  You may even consider counseling with your kids and even the future ex.  I met many men in the FSU in a divorce situation making important marriage decisions with clouded judgement and the results appeared not so realisitic.  The again, some of the men were on a "fun" tour and met women willing to oblige the not so serious man.   I started writing during my divorce and made no visit until all the divorce issues settled.  Many kind women in the FSU providing kind responses.  Eventually i met the sweetest of them all:).

 

[charlieninerzero]

All of the advice here has been impressively mature and great!

 

I have moved my discussion of my current marriage to another message board better suited for that type of discussion.  Thanks!

 
I really do like the idea of a Woman from Europe/Russia. I grew up in the Air force living at a young age in Thailand, UK, Germany, Turkey and even DC.   I also communicate with lots of customers from Austria, Germany, and UK. I feel comfortable looking for a woman from another country.  I have done enough looking into the MOB to give it a rest and concentrate on my current situation.   I really need to get the whole MOB thing out of my head for the present.  When the time is right then I will pick it up again. 

[catzenmouse]

Charlieninerzero,

 Good for you! We'll still be here when things get settled for you if you want to follow up on your thoughts of a relationship with an FSU woman. Best of luck with your upcoming changes.

Ken

[2tallbill]

Yeah Im new here and have been reading message boards about FSU and Latin Women for about a month.  I have also been looking into FSU women on Marriage sites for about a year.  My story is I have been scammed by American Women.  My first fiance I new from high school.  She dropped me and married some else a week later.  My current wife of 10 years has been having an affair for about 8 of them and is still having the affair.  My problem is I don't want to loose the kids.  Anyways, I have been detaching from the wife for about a year now and think now is the time to part ways. I am in process of buying a house and followed by separation/divorce.   Which leads me to the present.  I am interested in a Russian Wife.  This message board has put reality into my endeavor.  Are there any success stories?

You are doing things out of order.

You don't look for a new wife, while you are still married to the old one.
You don't plan to buy a house and a divorce at the same time.

Your future ex-wife, is not going to be helpful. She will be the opposite of
helpful. Your ex will quiz the kids, they will spill the beans. Divorce is very
difficult for kids. Stop this idea for now. Clear your browser history then
skip to the next step below.

First you file for divorce, after it's finalized it then you spend time getting
your ducks in a row along with a plan for improving yourself, then if you
still have any money, you buy a house after that you can spend time
looking for a new girl.

Udachi!

Bill

[ML]

Luckily my two children were independent adults by the time first wife and I divorced.
I had stayed married longer than I should have, in part by worrying about the children.

Success can always come tumbling down quickly, sometimes without much warning.

That being said, I have been mostly (except for a few blips here and there) quite happy with my Ukrainian wife.  Known each other for over 20 years and formally married for over 10 years.

I am on a downward health path now, and so far she has shown excellent concern and care for me.

[krimster2]

I never ever met an American woman who has the qualities my ukrainian born wife has
I heartily recommend Ukraine as a source of women
tatars knew what I'm talkin about

that's why I cut a little filly from the slavic herd
and "broke her in"
beats the hell out of being an Incel
and eating microwaved frozen meals
while being porn addicted

i'm a "big boy" "I know the road"
I don't get stressed when Russians yell at me when they're tired or upset

understand what russians want
and give it to them without them even asking
and you will be a smooth sailor who effortlessly swims like a fish in the Russian sea
the best swimmers make no waves in the water

[Patagonie]

You are doing things out of order.

You don't look for a new wife, while you are still married to the old one.
You don't plan to buy a house and a divorce at the same time.

Your future ex-wife, is not going to be helpful. She will be the opposite of
helpful. Your ex will quiz the kids, they will spill the beans. Divorce is very
difficult for kids. Stop this idea for now. Clear your browser history then
skip to the next step below.

First you file for divorce, after it's finalized it then you spend time getting
your ducks in a row along with a plan for improving yourself, then if you
still have any money, you buy a house after that you can spend time
looking for a new girl.

Udachi!

Bill

+1