Russian Women & the child free couple issue?

[bhayes30]

What is the russian opinion of women who don't want babies? i keep hearing the younger women say things like " i want to have 3 children"


http://www.russiablog.org/2007/09/bringing_back_babies_russia_se.php

in all honesty, im on the fence about the baby issue. My hope is to find a beautiful younger woman in her 20's who has a great personality who doesn't mind not having any babies.


i know its a stretch, but if i cannot meet someone like that on my own, then i may resort to using a matchmaking service for FSU ladies.

any opinions?

[Vincenzo]

The article says that Putin gives $10,000 for each baby.
Moreover, a Russian mother can stay home for 3 years and get her salary.

That's not bad, considering that an American mother usually shows up at her work the next day after her baby was born.

[molly35ru]

Moreover, a Russian mother can stay home for 3 years and get her salary.

A little correction: 40% of the salary for the first 1.5 years, about 50 rub per months for the next 1.5 years 

[Shadow]

It is a personal choice, however you will have to consider that apart from biological restrictions, opinions on having babies can change.

If you are unable to have children, that should be communicated, and if a partner chooses for you she will know that not having children is a given.

If it is merely your opinion not to want them, and you are looking for someone who shares this opinion, a woman in her 20s is not a guarantee that her opinion is not going to change.

When women are around 30, their biiological clock will remind them of how they are built to procreate, and a firm no may change in to a desire to have children.
At that time if your opinion is unchangeable, you might get in to a lot of trouble.

[I/O]

It's a rare women who doesn't want children at some stage and if you do meet one, as Shadow points out, don't bank on her not changing her mind.

[Nat]

Most FSU women want to have a child/children and consider it to be a it-goes-without-saying option. However, a new generation is less likely to have children before they are 35. So you can get into a tricky situation here - your gal in her 20s will claim she's never gonna have children, and then, when she gets more mature (or bored ), she can suddenly pick up an idea to have one or even more
Btw, when I studied psychology, I read an interesting research which suggested that women start wanting children when there's a man near them who they really love. It's somehow connected with instincts and just switches on in favorable environment Another possibility of tricky situation for the TS

[Faux Pas]

Most FSU women want to have a child/children and consider it to be a it-goes-without-saying option. However, a new generation is less likely to have children before they are 35. So you can get into a tricky situation here - your gal in her 20s will claim she's never gonna have children, and then, when she gets more mature (or bored ), she can suddenly pick up an idea to have one or even more
Btw, when I studied psychology, I read an interesting research which suggested that women start wanting children when there's a man near them who they really love. It's somehow connected with instincts and just switches on in favorable environment Another possibility of tricky situation for the TS

That is an excellent point Nat. My daughter (an AW) much to my dismay was steadfast that she wasn't going to have any children. This was from her early teens until just a year or so ago. She loved kids as long as they were someone else's and right through college she held this idea that she wasn't going to have any ever. I was resigned to it. Then she met the man she married and like flipping a switch, all of the sudden she wants several.


The lesson to be learned here is no matter what man/woman agree on, it is always subject to change based on some really hormonal circumstances of the woman

[ML]

It's a rare women who doesn't want children at some stage and if you do meet one, as Shadow points out, don't bank on her not changing her mind.

I think we have two examples right on this board.   I am not certain of the facts, but check with Jack and KenC.

[Wayne]

KenC was married to Lena for almost 10 years. When she was young, she said she did not want any children; later, she changed her mind.
 
If I think about all the women that I have known in my life who did not have any children, it seems that something was missing in their life.

[Jumper]

It's a rare women who doesn't want children at some stage and if you do meet one, as Shadow points out, don't bank on her not changing her mind.

 
exactly.
I would add in that FSU culture in particular seems to stress children as an intrigal  part of family and *marriage*.
 
You may find what you are looking for as each is an individual, but as a generality i dont know any young to middle aged single FSU women looking to marry ,
that don't actively want children in their future married life,
and would likely view a marriage sans children as unusual.
  Even more so than in the west..

[acctBill]

I've met women in the FSU who have never had children, it's not as uncommon as most think, after all Russia has a negative birth rate.  However there's usually a reason for a woman being childless.  Reasons such as finances, marital problems and work are the most common.  However I do agree that it's very likely that a RW is going to want at least one child and possibly more if your finances and lifestyle can support children.

[vwrw]

in all honesty, im on the fence about the baby issue. My hope is to find a beautiful younger woman in her 20's who has a great personality who doesn't mind not having any babies.

Good luck with that! You will need that in your pursuit. Although I do not know even one women in person who would like to have 3 children, almost all of them want one or two babies.

Being a woman that never wanted to give births to babies (I would be happy to be a parent or guardian for a baby at certain age of mine, I just do not want to give birth), I think I can give you some recommendations how to increase your probability of finding a woman who may not want to have children.

-          Career should be the first priority in her hierarchy of values.  She needs to crave for self-realization in professional life and needs to understand that having babies often is barrier to success in professional life and independence. She should have these beliefs in her belief system and mention it herself.  A mere agreeing with you when you say that babies often are barrier to success in professional life is NOT enough. Make sure that  she knows that according to statistics, the majority of poor people who live on the verge of poverty in America is made of single mothers. 
 
-          Her closest friends in adolescence should be teens who have junior siblings. I was youngest in my family and enjoy full attention of everybody.  My friends in adolescence have junior siblings and their frustration with their parents favoritism toward youngest  siblings played a important role in forming my views on children. As a result, from very young age, I got this view that children equals sacrifices and not a joy. As an adult, I understand that this view in not completely correct, yet it still affects my choices.
 
-          In her assertion that she does not want children, she needs to understand that the instinct to procreation is very strong and may influence her later in life.  Young women (before their  30-35) who adamantly insist that they are NEVER going to have children, are so sure in their position because they fail at foreseeing all the factors that can change their mind.  You need to find a woman who will understand that while she does not want to have children now, in the future , factors may emerge that may challenge her decision about children.  She must be able to list the most common of the factors on her own.  Her ability to do so indicates that her decision is well thought out, not just a temporary mindset. For your info, the most common factors are failure to realize herself in professional life, having excellent life partner with whom she feels secure and can rely on completely, “now or never” time when she approaches certain age.

Now it is all I can think of, though I probably miss something. 
 

[vwrw]

I forgot to tell two more things.
First, analyze yourself and list all the traits, believes, and views of yours that contribute to your reluctance to have children , then check if the women you communicate with have  similar traits, believes, and views  that are on your list.
 
The paradoxical thing is that your reluctance to have children may turn off the women who are likely to not want children. For example, I did not consider any man suitable for marriage  who claimed he wanted or did not want children. Only those who said they were okay with both possible scenarios appealed to me.