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[Keyser Soze]

Gotta love Google translate

I stumbled upon this site when looking for reviews of Russian dating sites. I have read all the FAQ's, and many, many, MANY  threads before ever deciding to register.
Just wanted to introduce myself, give a little background, and shed a little insight into what brought me here, and my intentions towards a relationship with a Russian bride.
Hopefully I won't get too long winded.(fat chance)

I'm a 41 year old, good-looking father of 3. I am pretty fit for a man my age, as I play Hockey, for a couple hours, at the very least, one night a week year-round. I have a decent job, but am not rich by any stretch. I'm struggling to keep my head above water just like the rest of the U.S. population in this horrible economy. I am gentle, loving, honest, sincere, and sweet. Passionate, intense, and probably the most honorable and loyal man that you would ever have the pleasure of meeting.
One would think that except for my baggage, I would have women lined up to meet me.
Not quite.

I'm less than a year out of a nightmare of a 3 year divorce. I was married for 14 years, but was with my ex, for 20 including our time before we were married, and the divorce process.
Even though I don't personally know any, all my life, for lack of a better description, I've always had what my friends call "a bit of a problem with Russian women." "Russian", meaning Eastern European, Ukrainian,  FSU women and the like.
I absolutely melt when I see them, can't keep my eyes off of them, and my jaw always hurts from hitting the ground.

While I poured everything I could into my marriage and family life, my now ex-wife decided that drinking, and screwing were the spice of life. Problem is, she decided that all of that didn't necessarily need to include me.
I've always said that, if I got divorced, "Next time around, I'm going to buy me one of them Russian women." It was always half-heatedly said as a joke(buyt not really). I know that you can't BUY anybody, and I meant no disrespect to anyone by saying it. It's just something you say as a defense mechanism, to try to lighten up a bad situation.
Well, I'm divorced now, and throughout the process, and currently, I have farted around with, and registered on some of the agency sites. Two actually. Anastasiadate, and ualadys.
Have no fear, I haven't spent a dime, and have just sent the free winks or whatever they call them, and read the ensuing letters that come in and let myself fantasize a little. I honestly love the fantasy aspect of these gorgeous supermodels who would be interested in someone like me.
Reality tells me something else, that's why I haven't sent them any of my hard-earned.
I realize that most, if not all of these sites all promise forever and never deliver, are scams, or at best designed to separate me from my money.
I do not take the prospect of a Russian bride lightly, and am dead serious about finding one. I have done a ridiculous amount of research and reading in the last several years on the subject. Unfortunately, most of it is probably crap as it came from the internet.
Big part of the reason that I am here.

Why am I so interested in Russian women?
Well, I've just plain flat out had it with American women. In my honest opinion, they are all completely nuts. Pushy, bossy, entitled bitches that are, for the most part in everything just for themselves. They want everything, and they could care less who they hurt, and step on to get what they want. Sex is a weapon. So are children. They will bite the hand that feeds, there is no loyalty or honor to them. The minute you step up and stand up to them for what you believe in, you are labeled as controlling, or worse. Abusive without even so much as raising your voice, or God forbid a hand to them. Not to mention that they start getting noticeably FAT about their 3rd month out of High School. They "let themselves go", and still think that they are all that. They are conditioned by society, television and the like that the grass IS greener, and divorce is easy. They'll always get money from the man after it's over. Even more so if there are children. They get their cake, and get to eat it too. Paid for by someone else.

I realize the fantasy aspect of Russian women is strong. It's what draws is to them. They are painfully gorgeous, they are smart, sexy, and well educated, are supposedly loyal, have strong family values, and from what I can tell seem to care about their appearance, and stay fit. They are, from what I understand, more in line with the "old fashioned" way of doing things. Much like this country used to be before women became uber-empowered, entitled, enabled, and basically encouraged to treat their men as pets, not as equals, or as heads of households.
To me, Russian woman epitomize all that an American woman is not. Beautiful, sexy, exotic, and every man's dream in every sense of the word.
Not to mention that the language, and at least to me, the accent are dead sexy!

I am 100% prepared for the Psychological, and emotional aspect of a relationship with a foreign woman. Helping her transition into American life, and essentially being her only safe harbor in a hostile world.
The financial..... that's the tough part. Not only the trip(s), but the potential aftercare of her and her extended family worries me. I'm not in this to have a "kept woman". I am in this to have life partner that is an equal. My other half, and all that sappy stuff.
If I had it, I would have no problem spending it. How can you put a price on happiness, and/or piece of mind.
You can't.
If I wouldn't have had to scrap, and fight and spend over $20000 on a divorce just to keep the clothes on my back, I would already speak the language, and have been on a plane to Ukraine, or the FSU several years ago.
 

Well that's me, and my motivation.
Any suggestions to a direction to go, and where to start from any of you old pros would be greatly appreciated.
Like I said earlier. I am dead serious, and will take all the help that I can get.

Thanks!!!

On a side note, as a newbie, reading many of the FAQ's and threads are very discouraging. It's almost as if you guys want to keep all these hotties all to yourselves.....
And all this math.....
What's up with that?!?
 

Anyway, nice to meet all of you, and I apologize for my long winded-ness.

Wish me luck!!!

Thanks again.

[pitbull]

Hi Keyser,

Welcome!

First, read as much as you can, this forum is very educational.

Second, before any kind of advice, some questions:

1. What age range of RW are you looking at?

2. What's the age of your kids and what's your custody agreement with the ex?

3. Will you accept a RW with a child/children?

4. Are you open to having more kids?

5. If a RW comes over, how long do you think you'll be able to support the family financially? Is several years realistic? Or will she have to start working right away?

6. It sometimes takes several years and a local degree for an immigrant to get a decent, professional job in the US. Will you be able to afford to pay for your new wife's professional degree (MA?) and support a family through the process?

7. Can you post a picture of yourself?


Thanks,

P.

[Ranetka]

Welcome to the forum.
 
Suggest to try and find an East European woman to date close to where you live. See if you find the culture appealing without the smoke screen of emails, google translation, high endorphines of rare visits and communication in form of combination of gestures and dictionary.
 
Please try to understand Russian Women never ever were "traditional" in the sense you imply.
They have always worked, always had their own money and always ruled the family especially where kids  or household expenses are concerned.
 
 

[Lily]

Welcome to the forum Keyzer Soze!

  I have a decent job, but am not rich by any stretch. I'm struggling to keep my head above water just like the rest of the U.S. population in this horrible economy.

Just out of curiosity, what would be your definition of a rich person?

  Unfortunately, most of it is probably crap as it came from the internet.
 

If I understand you correctly, you say that most of it is probably crap because it came from the Internet?
 Well, here we all are from the Internet. Each and every of my friends today, besides those at work, are with me because once I found them on the Internet first, on whatever sites or fora, and contacted them with different purposes. Now they make a difference in my real life That would be a little strange to hear from an American where lots of things occur through the Internet.

On a general note, suggest to listen what the ladies wrote in reply to your post. Wisconsin is close to Illinois, and Chicago used to have a sizable Russian and Polish communities. You may want to start there and to try weighting your chances. Okay, okay - as soon as you are on the FSU soil, your chances with the local women would be pretty high as your male competition would be somehow less than eligible. However, think of it this way, if and when you find one, when she will land in Wisconsin for you, would you still be able to compete with other American men in order to keep your woman?

[veritas]

Why am I so interested in Russian women?
Well, I've just plain flat out had it with American women. In my honest opinion, they are all completely nuts. Pushy, bossy, entitled bitches that are, for the most part in everything just for themselves. They want everything, and they could care less who they hurt, and step on to get what they want. Sex is a weapon. So are children. They will bite the hand that feeds, there is no loyalty or honor to them. The minute you step up and stand up to them for what you believe in, you are labeled as controlling, or worse. Abusive without even so much as raising your voice, or God forbid a hand to them. Not to mention that they start getting noticeably FAT about their 3rd month out of High School. They "let themselves go", and still think that they are all that. They are conditioned by society, television and the like that the grass IS greener, and divorce is easy. They'll always get money from the man after it's over. Even more so if there are children. They get their cake, and get to eat it too. Paid for by someone else.

Dude, you have a chip on your shoulder the size of TEXAS!!! 

Job #1:  Lose it -- and SOON -- or else it'll affect your relationships with ALL women -- even Russian ...

Kevin

[Kineo]

   to the forum.
 
As others have mentioned, read as much as you can here. There are a lot of points of view and they will not agree. Pick what works for you.
 
Enjoy the stay!
 

[Keyser Soze]

Welcome to the forum Keyzer Soze!

Just out of curiosity, what would be your definition of a rich person?

If I understand you correctly, you say that most of it is probably crap because it came from the Internet?
 Well, here we all are from the Internet. Each and every of my friends today, besides those at work, are with me because once I found them on the Internet first, on whatever sites or fora, and contacted them with different purposes. Now they make a difference in my real life That would be a little strange to hear from an American where lots of things occur through the Internet.

On a general note, suggest to listen what the ladies wrote in reply to your post. Wisconsin is close to Illinois, and Chicago used to have a sizable Russian and Polish communities. You may want to start there and to try weighting your chances. Okay, okay - as soon as you are on the FSU soil, your chances with the local women would be pretty high as your male competition would be somehow less than eligible. However, think of it this way, if and when you find one, when she will land in Wisconsin for you, would you still be able to compete with other American men in order to keep your woman?

I would consider "rich" being will off enough to be akin to wanting something, and being able to just go out and buy it. Damn the cost. I would say somewhere in the 100k annual income range is what I would consider rich. At least by my standards.

I've been told that I have a low self esteem(by my ex), but the men in and around my city are basically hicks, drunks, and trolls. I don't consider myself any of those. As far as competition with local men go, I think I would do alright.   

[Keyser Soze]

Welcome to the forum.
 
Suggest to try and find an East European woman to date close to where you live. See if you find the culture appealing without the smoke screen of emails, google translation, high endorphines of rare visits and communication in form of combination of gestures and dictionary.
 
Please try to understand Russian Women never ever were "traditional" in the sense you imply.
They have always worked, always had their own money and always ruled the family especially where kids  or household expenses are concerned.

Thanks.

I didn't mean to imply that there would be any sort of master-slave relationship. I am looking for my equal. An ally. A partner who works towards a common goal. Someone who respects, and appreciates me, as much as I respect them.
Not someone to rule my life with an iron fist.
I was under the impression that FSU women were more traditional in the sense of they handled the home, and children as you say, and the man was the main breadwinner, and would be respected as such. Not necessarily in charge, but THE MAN you know?

I don't want to be brow-beaten, and henpecked like I was before. All I'm saying is I don't want to have to beg for $5 for gas money to get back and forth from work like I used to when she controlled the finances. (yea, I had it that bad) After she almost lost our house, and put us thousands of dollars in debt, I took over the money. Saved the house. Bills always got paid. We always had food. Life was good. I don't know what the hell she did with all the money before, but we were in good shape after I took over the bills.

I didn't mean to offend. I'd just like to have some say is all. I want an equal partnership. Not what American women expect with the "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine"  and "what I say goes" mentality.

Geez, if that's how they are, then count me out.

[Keyser Soze]

Dude, you have a chip on your shoulder the size of TEXAS!!! 

Job #1:  Lose it -- and SOON -- or else it'll affect your relationships with ALL women -- even Russian ...

Kevin

LOL, yea? You think? 

Yea, I've been on the receiving end of the shaft a few of times.
Stalin was a cupcake compared to my ex.

I get along great with women. I mean GREAT.  I usually get along great with everyone. I probably get along better with them than most men. Must be the animal magnetism.
I've dated some beautiful women in my day. To tell you the truth, my ex wife was probably only about average compared to the other women in my life.
It's not that I'm afraid of women at all. It's just that all the good ones are already taken. All that's left from 30 on up are the typical single skanks you would find in a bar.
Honestly, who wants that?
Maybe I just have to high of standards.

[veritas]

LOL, yea? You think? 

Yea, I've been on the receiving end of the shaft a few of times.
Stalin was a cupcake compared to my ex.

I get along great with women. I mean GREAT.  I usually get along great with everyone. I probably get along better with them than most men. Must be the animal magnetism.
I've dated some beautiful women in my day. To tell you the truth, my ex wife was probably only about average compared to the other women in my life.
It's not that I'm afraid of women at all. It's just that all the good ones are already taken. All that's left from 30 on up are the typical single skanks you would find in a bar.
Honestly, who wants that?
Maybe I just have to high of standards.

Well, I too get along GREAT with women -- "better with them than with most men" -- which is why
every single one of the friends I've made in the last 10 years are WOMEN -- including all of my very
closest and dearest friends ...

And that's exactly why I DON'T project my wretched experiences with ex's onto ALL (or even MOST)
American women -- and neither should YOU ...

Kevin

[Eduard]

It's just that all the good ones are already taken. All that's left from 30 on up are the typical single skanks you would find in a bar.
Honestly, who wants that?
Maybe I just have to high of standards.

I agree a 100%. That was my experience when I was single and looking.

[Eduard]

I realize the fantasy aspect of Russian women is strong. It's what draws is to them. They are painfully gorgeous, they are smart, sexy, and well educated, are supposedly loyal, have strong family values, and from what I can tell seem to care about their appearance, and stay fit. They are, from what I understand, more in line with the "old fashioned" way of doing things. Much like this country used to be before women became uber-empowered, entitled, enabled, and basically encouraged to treat their men as pets, not as equals, or as heads of households.
To me, Russian woman epitomize all that an American woman is not. Beautiful, sexy, exotic, and every man's dream in every sense of the word.
Not to mention that the language, and at least to me, the accent are dead sexy!

"They are painfully gorgeous, they are smart, sexy, and well educated" ---- compared to an average American women, yes they are (on average)
" are supposedly loyal, have strong family values"--------- some are, some aren't. It's a gross generalization. There are plenty of FSU women who are not loyal and who do cheat on their men and whos family values are questionable. You must be very careful in your selecton particularly because you don't share a common language and culture with them. It will not be easy for you to distinguish who is who there.


Russian women can be really wonderful if you get the right one for you.

[Muzh]

Hey Keyser, it's okay to have a chip in your shoulder. I know how you feel. Now concentrate that energy somewhere else.


A word of advice.  As Ranetka mentioned, they are still women and they are a lot more liberated than what many give them credit for. However, their priorities seem to be in the right place and THAT is what you should be looking for.


Feel free to post questions to the group. We'll try to help you.


Peace

[Keyser Soze]

Hey Keyser, it's okay to have a chip in your shoulder. I know how you feel. Now concentrate that energy somewhere else.


A word of advice.  As Ranetka mentioned, they are still women and they are a lot more liberated than what many give them credit for. However, their priorities seem to be in the right place and THAT is what you should be looking for.


Feel free to post questions to the group. We'll try to help you.


Peace

Thanks bro.
I think I get it. I didn't mean to insinuate any sort of 1950's Leave it to Beaver sort of scenario.
Kinda felt like I was getting flamed for explaining why I've pretty much lost it for American women, and have decided to look elsewhere.
I've had quite a few numbers pulled on me by women. Left me cautious and wounded. Makes me think of a great quote from a relatively stupid movie. "Anger is more useful than despair".
Hey, may have just found myself a good signature. 

[Lily]

It's not that I'm afraid of women at all. It's just that all the good ones are already taken. All that's left from 30 on up are the typical single skanks you would find in a bar.
Honestly, who wants that?
Maybe I just have to high of standards.

I would not call it high standards. I call it normal mating behavior of a self respectful person. There is no point to agree to be with someone who does not make you happy. People look for a partner not in order to make their life more miserable then it is now. We look for someone in order to be more happy then we are now, right?

What you need is more choice of partners, that's it. While getting into a situation where you do have choice, and for men it is the FSU land, keep your mind and eyes open and do your best evaluation whether this or that person brings you happiness or trouble.

And yes, I wish you luck. You definitely need it!

[Vaughn]

  They are conditioned by society, television and the like that the grass IS greener, and divorce is easy. They'll always get money from the man after it's over. Even more so if there are children. They get their cake, and get to eat it too. Paid for by someone else.

To borrow your own words quoted above I've heard many seasoned men use them to describe FSU women in general. You are adopting the very same "grass is greener" attitude - and that, coupled with your "jaw-dropping" and "melting" tendencies - make you most vulnerable. Refer to the lyrics of Hall & Oates' "Maneater" and you'll begin to see what you could be up against overseas.
If you could answer the several key questions posed by pitbull way upthread, it'd be a great start.
 

[Keyser Soze]

I would not call it high standards. I call it normal mating behavior of a self respectful person. There is no point to agree to be with someone who does not make you happy. People look for a partner not in order to make their life more miserable then it is now. We look for someone in order to be more happy then we are now, right?

What you need is more choice of partners, that's it. While getting into a situation where you do have choice, and for men it is the FSU land, keep your mind and eyes open and do your best evaluation whether this or that person brings you happiness or trouble.

And yes, I wish you luck. You definitely need it!

Thanks Lily.
As far as I'm concerned, as miserable and lonely as I have been in recent years, I would rather continue as I am, than to ever settle and not be truly happy.
My life is basically half over, and I'm not going through what I have for the last 20 years.

My comment earlier about everything on the internet being crap wasn't directed at you, or this site. Mainly the articles about FSU marriage on the agency sites, and other things that I've stumbled across from supposed Russian brides themselves. A lot of the info I've seen from here has contradicted a lot of what I've read elsewhere. I thought I knew a lot. Boy was I wrong.
 I usually don't do forums, but I think it's great that there seems to be one stocked with people who are farther along, and have been in country. Even ones that have found their mates in the FSU.
So far, almost everybody here has seemed pretty cool, and willing to help.
Including you.
For the record, not to get ahead of myself, I think that your profile pic is as cute as a button. 

Thanks again,
~G.D.

[Daveman]

...
 Makes me think of a great quote from a relatively stupid movie. "Anger is more useful than despair".
...

we were just dicking with you???       

[Keyser Soze]

To borrow your own words quoted above I've heard many seasoned men use them to describe FSU women in general. You are adopting the very same "grass is greener" attitude - and that, coupled with your "jaw-dropping" and "melting" tendencies - make you most vulnerable. Refer to the lyrics of Hall & Oates' "Maneater" and you'll begin to see what you could be up against overseas.
If you could answer the several key questions posed by pitbull way upthread, it'd be a great start.

Thanks for the insight.
I understand your thought process, but I don't know if I agree with what you've said. Yea, maybe I do have a fetish for Eastern European women, or whatever you want to call it. Maybe the grass is greener across the Atlantic, maybe not. As stated in my original post. I do have a problem with Russian women, and I agree, that probably makes me an easy mark, and I best have my wits about me. Like the Hall & Oates reference too.
Takes me back.....
What I was referring to is how easy divorce is becoming. When U.S. women get together, someone bitches about their man, and all her friends basically encourage them to leave him. Watch any "black" comedy, with all the women sitting around bitching. It's surprisingly similar to real life.
Divorce laws are VERY easy on women.
Pissed at what you got for Christmas. Divorce him. Doesn't kiss your families' asses, divorce him. Pissed that he got mad because you bounced some checks for some new shoes, you don't need that, divorce him.
There's other men out there. Girl, you don't need that. Mmmmmhmmm.
That's what I'm getting at.You break your back. They chew up all your money. The guy can be good to her, but next thing you know, he's blindsided, and the poor guy loses half his stuff, and has to pay support, and/or maintenance.
Still break your back, and she gets paid. At least after the divorce there's a set amount, and no surprises.

Like a virus. Uses you up, then moves on to the next guy and repeats the process because the grass is greener, and it's SO damn easy.
Entitlement.
Makes me sick.

Maneater, you got that right buddy!!!
 

[GQBlues]

....Pissed at what you got for Christmas. Divorce him. Doesn't kiss your families' asses, divorce him. Pissed that he got mad because you bounced some checks for some new shoes, you don't need that, divorce him. There's other men out there. Girl, you don't need that. Mmmmmhmmm.
That's what I'm getting at. You break your back. They chew up all your money. The guy can be good to her, but next thing you know, he's blindsided, and the poor guy loses half his stuff, and has to pay support, and/or maintenance....

 
Hhmmm... Yup. Russian women will definitely be far more inexpensive. They're also much more matured for their respective ages. Far less materialistic, and waaay different than any other women. Family-oriented to boot!
 
 
AWs are a bunch of b!tches! Yeah. Fat, too!
 
 
I can't say I blame you... yeah! Go for it, man! Get yourself one of dem wimmen!

[Keyser Soze]

 
Hhmmm... Yup. Russian women will definitely be far more inexpensive. They're also much more matured for their respective ages. Far less materialistic, and waaay different than any other women. Family-oriented to boot!
 
 
AWs are a bunch of b!tches! Yeah. Fat, too!
 
 
I can't say I blame you... yeah! Go for it, man! Get yourself one of dem wimmen!

ROFLMFAO!!!

Thanks man, I enjoyed the laugh. I'm sure you were being sarcastic, but that was one of the funniest things I've heard in a while.
Gonna get me one of dem women. Priceless.
Thanks again!!!

~G.D.

[veritas]

Kinda felt like I was getting flamed for explaining why I've pretty much lost it for American women, and have decided to look elsewhere.

For the record, what you were getting flamed for was blaming ALL American women for your highly
subjective experiences with a FEW ... But you say you get along "GREAT" with American women???
Doesn't add up ... 

Makes me think of a great quote from a relatively stupid movie. "Anger is more useful than despair".

Hey, I just watched that movie the other night!  Who SAYS it's "relatively stupid"??? 

Kevin

[Ade]

Keyser,

dude, you're a year out of a 20 year relationship that ended in a train wreck. Are you absolutely sure you are ready to commit to a long term relationship? I know that after my first 10 year stint, I was a mess and I projected all that baggage onto every following relationship; even if I wasn't entirely to blame for those failures, I certainly didn't help. It took me a good 5 years to be sane enough not to endanger poisoning new relationships with my baggage. Now, everyone is different, as is every situation, but you certainly seem to have some residual anger inside of you; get rid of that and any other learned behaviour from your ex, or it will be your undoing, I guarantee it.

Next, you had 3 RW answer you in the first 3 replies. I haven't seen that for some time. Listen to what they say as they are representative of what you are looking for. And answer Pitbull's questions, they are good ones.

FWIW, international dating is an expensive, time consuming and frustrating process. With 3 kids, particularly if you have main custody (?), it will be even more difficult. I honestly do not understand why American's go out of their way to do it when you have a whole continent of your own to search in; and no, I don't buy the all AW this or that.

Take a read of the wrecks here and on other forums and you will see that those are just as possible, if not more so, within an international relationship. The real bad ones are going to make yours look like a walk in the park and include DV charges and jail time. So don't kid yourself that this will be easier or better than finding someone from your own culture.

[Eduard]

Keyser,

dude, you're a year out of a 20 year relationship that ended in a train wreck. Are you absolutely sure you are ready to commit to a long term relationship? I know that after my first 10 year stint, I was a mess and I projected all that baggage onto every following relationship; even if I wasn't entirely to blame for those failures, I certainly didn't help. It took me a good 5 years to be sane enough not to endanger poisoning new relationships with my baggage. Now, everyone is different, as is every situation, but you certainly seem to have some residual anger inside of you; get rid of that and any other learned behaviour from your ex, or it will be your undoing, I guarantee it.

Next, you had 3 RW answer you in the first 3 replies. I haven't seen that for some time. Listen to what they say as they are representative of what you are looking for. And answer Pitbull's questions, they are good ones.

I often don't agree with Ade, but this advice is right on the money. 

I honestly do not understand why American's go out of their way to do it when you have a whole continent of your own to search in; and no, I don't buy the all AW this or that.

I honestly understand why you do not understand - try living and dating here, in the US for a few years, and then comment. No not all AW are bad, there are plenty of great ones with excellent family values who are loyal, who care about their appearance, family and are not too feminist.
Trouble is that they are very rarely single and if they are single there are a 100 guys for each one of those women, guys who would do anything to go out with a woman like that. I've been through this myself and many of the guys (AM) I know have been through the same exact experience. To be fair, some areas in the US are not as bad as others. When I was single and had a profile on match.com and yahoo personals I did connect with a couple of women from the Midwest. They were nice and if we were living in the same city it might have worked. But they had their career that was very important to them, family near by and didn't even consider moving to Florida. They still had many options of different men in their home town. And I couldn't move to some small town in MI or IL and deal with those winters. I enjoy the Florida lifestyle too much. Here where I live it's totally pathetic when it comes to single women though. Luckily that's no longer a concern for me

Take a read of the wrecks here and on other forums and you will see that those are just as possible, if not more so, within an international relationship. The real bad ones are going to make yours look like a walk in the park and include DV charges and jail time. So don't kid yourself that this will be easier or better than finding someone from your own culture.

Those FSU women who are trouble can be easily avoided. I've met plenty of those and was able to figure them out pretty quickly. The first step is to think with your big head, off course 

[GQBlues]

....I'm sure you were being sarcastic, but that was one of the funniest things I've heard in a while....

(I'll try to piss another member here by saying...) 'Kewl'. I'm glad you have a good sense of humor.
 
Now here's the serious part...
 
a) It isn't a requirement to demonize AWs just so men can declare they'd like to fish in a barrel. It isn't necessary to join the fishing club. It used to be not too long ago, but that was more for a bunch of folks attempting to deny reality of it's due course.
 
b) 20 years of marriage, mothered 3 of your children - and all she ever got for that is have you coming here calling here a b!tch to justitfy your preference for a woman/relationship you have yet to face much less understand.
 
I guarantee 2 things to happen for you almost immediately...you'll likely be friended by service providers and the 'silent' majority' bunch who couldn't get a date at home and would much rather blame their sorry social situation and personal ineptness on the women, thus they turn to the MOB.
 
c) 20 years of marriage and 3 underage children. That's not sucking up all your monies. That's the expense of raising a family and being responsible for it.
 
d) More importantly, your 'ex' is the mother of all 3 of your children. If you honest believe after 20 years of marriage with you she doesn't deserve some ounce of respect, by gawd man, then do it for your children.